Chapter forty:Complicated Emotions and Untamed Desires

**ELENA'S POV**

"I never thought I'd say this about someone but your life is depressing," I said while Rayan turned to me and looked me in disbelief.

"so after hearing everything I said your first response was 'your life is depressing'," he said.

We had left the cave as soon as Rayan's wound had finally closed up and also dried up, so now we were back to our usual routine the day long walks but at least now his, 'no storytelling while walking princess', was slowly becoming obsolete.

" well it is, also there's something that's been bothering me for a while," I said.

"oh really that's terrible, what's been bothering you your majesty," he said as sarcastically as he could I simply ignored his sarcasm.

"well you knew Mr Lance was going to hurt you every time right?" I asked.

"yeah it was kinda obvious," he said but with no emotion, I was expecting anger or sadness but I guess he must have come to terms with it which made what I was about to say seem horrible.

"so why didn't you hide from him or I don't know just ran away from him he was a cripple so it wouldn't have been much of a chase," I said cause seriously though why didn't he just do that why did he take the beatings.

Rayan thought for a moment and opened his mouth before he seemed doubtful,he then closed his mouth and this time he was so lost in thought that it was a little bit funny, finally I got him, I finally got him, he was at a loss of words the same way I was with how he won our our royal etiquette argument.

"you know what, I'm not going to listen to someone who saw my nuts without my permission," he said, he then turned around and left me standing on the road speechless.

Argh! This man, why does he keep reminding me of that it's not like I was trying to see it, it just happened. Suddenly an idea came to me, while Rayan was ahead of me I slowly approached him and then I pushed him as hard as I could which unfortunately made him fall down to the ground in a really hilarious way, the reason that it was hilarious was because of how he tried to turn around in the air which made him fall down on his back, dust surrounded him like the curtains of a stage. I couldn't hold back my laughter that it became hard to breath but my laugh slowly died down when I saw the venomous glare Rayan was sending me.

"that was really mature princess," he said while he sat up.

"now help me up so that I can end you," he said as he raised his hand out to me.

Hmm I really didn't think that through, the way he was glaring at me made me think that what he was saying was more of a promise than a threat but since it has already happened might as well face the consequences. I took his hand and tried to pull him up but while I was doing so my foot slipped and I was sent down along with him.

My face landed on his firm chest which felt like falling on a really hard pillow while Rayan on the other hand grunted out in pain as my head knocked the air out of him, my hands were on his shoulders but my knees were on the ground.

"get off," he said as he grabbed my arms and pushed me up.

My head did manage to get off his chest but it was soon replaced with my hands when I lost my stability and was about to fall back to him, my hair hung at the sides of my face and almost reached him, with my current position, I soon realized that this was definitely not the best idea I've ever had.

I've never felt a man's chest before but right now it feels different than what I ever thought, it was a strange mix of both hard and soft, I was tempted to run my hands through them but I held myself back. I then let my eyes travel from his chest to his neck where I noticed his adam apple which was weirdly appealing then to his chin before stopping at his lips for a while, I stopped looking at the minor details on his face and decided to see the whole view. How does he keep getting more breathtaking the more I look at him.

My breath was slowly turning into pants and I tightly shut my mouth, hoping it wouldn't be audible, I felt my heart race as I gazed into his eyes, seeing all the different flecks of grey, it was strange that Rayan hadn't reprimanded me for staring too but what made this even more strange was underneath my hands I could feel Rayan's heart beating faster and faster with each passing second.

As my mind cleared a little from whatever thoughts I had I saw Rayan's eyes scanning me with a look that made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world, his eyes traveled from my eyes to my lips and like me his eyes stayed on my lips too he swallowed hard and I felt the grip on my arms loosen as he slowly ran his hands up to my shoulder. He thought of something for a while before making up his mind, his fingers run through my hair as he tucked them behind my ears, he then slowly and softly slide his hands along my neck before finally letting then rest behind my neck.

Goosebumps appeared at the spot he touched and some parts he didn't even touch, warmth spread all over my body, my mouth got dry and right now it was becoming harder to breath, I shut my eyes as he traced his finger along my collarbone. He sat up and he must have been close to my face because I felt his hot breath sending tingles along my face.

"hey lovebirds get a fucking room," I heard someone yell out and my eyes shot open only to see Rayan's lips close to mine just a slight push from one of us and they would have touched.

Rayan backed away from me with his eyes shut and his jaw clenched, I got up from him and glared at the person who interrupted us... Wait why am I glaring at him right now, suddenly the realization of what just happened hit me like a ton of bricks. My cheeks burned up and I wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere.

"damn doing it in the middle of the road, must be nice to be young," the man said as his eyes kept switching from Rayan to me, the man was a traveler, I was judging from the sack on his back and also the short sword on his waist.

"I'll let you get back to your business if you help me with something," the man said.

I looked at Rayan for the first time after we stood up and to my disappointment his face was now stoic it was like nothing had happened, I know I shouldn't have but I started getting angry, I was mad that I was the only one who was flustered while he was acting like nothing just happened but to be honest rather than being mad I was slowly becoming afraid too, what if he wasn't acting what if to him it was actually nothing. He is a mercenary so he's used to this kind of things.

"sure state your business," Rayan said as he moved closer to the man.

"well which territory is this? I lost my map in the rainstorm a few days back so just trying to go by memory," the man said as he poked his head with his finger.

"well starting from that house thirty miles from here, is the beginning of the Longfang kingdom," Rayan said and as soon as the words left his mouth I quickly turned to him and looked at him in a mix of disappointment and anger.

"oh thank you guess am on the right path," the man said and he walked past us.

Rayan didn't say a word and he started walking, I followed suit and while we were walking Rayan was walking at a much faster pace than me not too fast but it was just fast, I would have complained but my own thoughts were racing in my mind and in all honesty they were more like questions than thoughts.

Why did he do that? Why did he not tell me that we were close to my home? Did it mean nothing to him? But what about that look? Well if he doesn't care then why should I. But the way his touch made me feel it should mean something right..

**RAYAN'S POV**

Stupid, stupid, stupid, what was I thinking? Maybe I wasn't even thinking at all but how could I as soon as I felt her hands on my chest my body lit up like it was on fire, I couldn't help but run my eyes around her, from those deep blue eyes that looked at me with both curiosity and a deep fire, those succulent red lips that tempted me to bruise and bite them.

The way her hair surrounded her made her look even more beautiful, wait even more did I always think that she was beautiful. What enticed me even more was how her breathing got ragged as the seconds passed. I wanted to test something and as soon as I reached for her hair and tucked the back what I thought turned out to be true her she took a sharp breath and her breathing started coming out little bit ragged.

Also as soon as my finger touched her neck she instinctively closed her eyes and I could feel the goosebumps on her neck as my fingers went through. She looked so adorable with her eyes closed that I wanted to take things a little bit further I sat up and brought my face close to hers. We were practically breathing each other's air and I don't know if it was instinct but Elena parted her lips, I was about to kiss her when that man snapped me out of it.

And right now I was doing what I do best running from my problems except now it was princess. Also the way she reacted when she heard that we were at the doorstep of her home was surprising like she was disappointed but it was inevitable like all journeys ours was soon coming to an end and soon we would both part ways.

But why did the thought of that squeeze my heart, did I get attached to her?