Chapter 12 Then have a romance with me.

Gu Tingchen stubbornly stared at me. I didn’t know what he was doing.

Showing concerns after the divorce?

I took my hand out of his palm and tried to calm myself down: "nothing, maybe it’s just that I was born short of love, so I wanted to buy love with money. I have already done such a thing before."

After a pause, I stared at his clear eyes and said, "I have bought a marriage from you at the cost of my family. Now I'm just buying a romance."

"Then have a romance with me."

My handbag fell to the ground. I asked in dismay, "what?"

"I will have a romance with you. I will pretend to love you, spoil you, treasure you and make you feel happy. I won't disobey you and will be a qualified boyfriend, until the eve of my marriage."

His last word broke my dream.

He was going to be the groom of another woman. I would rather randomly hook up a man on the street than have a romance with him now. I had given him the chance before divorce.

Besides, at this moment, he sounded like he was acceding to my demand out of charity.

I wanted his love very much. I was so eager for it that I could die for it. But I refused it, the self-respect in the bottom of my heart didn’t allow me to accept it.

I left the villa in embarrassment, and hid in my room as soon as I got home, pretending not to have seen the short message sent to me.

I couldn’t answer his question: "why did you run away?"

He loved Wen Ruyan. He was going to be the groom of that woman.

If he had proposed this romance before divorce, I would have been ecstatic.

But now that everything had changed, I didn’t need his mercy and charity.

I didn’t need it even if I would die alone!

Through the next week, I hid in the villa and did not go anywhere. My cancer was getting worse and worse. I often had no energy, and had to lie on the bed for a whole day.

I lived a messy life, until Ji Nuan called me.

She wanted me to see Chen Chusheng with her in the countryside.

She said she had no courage and was afraid of his refusal.

I agreed, and made an appointment to meet.

Habitually, I went out with exquisite makeup. When I arrived at the teahouse, I saw Ji Nuan dressed in plain-colored clothes.

White T-shirt, blue jeans and no makeup.

Utterly different from what she had been before.

I was surprised, "I have rarely seen you wear no makeup."

Ji Nuan said nervously, "he hasn't seen me wear makeup, and I heard that his family is not in a good economic condition. I'm afraid that he…… "

I asked directly, "afraid that he would feel inferior to you?"

She forced a smile, "I don't want to give him too much pressure."

"But what you are now will give him pressure anyway."

I said straightforwardly, and I was telling the truth.

Even eight years ago, Chen Chusheng had forced himself to be heartless to hide from Ji Nuan.

There was no need to think whether he would hide from an even gorgeous Ji Nuan now.

Hearing me, Ji Nuan fell silent, and then urged me to change my clothes and remove my makeup.

I did not refute, and put on one plain suit, but Ji Wen was still not satisfied. So, I patiently changed my clothes one after another, but she was still dissatisfied.

Finally, she compromised and said: "the problem are not the clothes."

I asked, "then what is the problem?"

She shook her head and said sadly, "it's never the problem of the clothes. Sheng er, you were born with beauty which the clothes can’t disguise. As for me, even though I have changed my clothes, I’m still not plain-looking enough."

Ji Nuan was afraid that it would be too much pressure for Chen Chusheng, so she had not dared to see him.

Even though she had summoned up her courage today, it has begun to decline.

I encouraged her, "let’s just try."

Ji Nuan ask me with hope, "will he reject me?"

"No, he won’t. I think he will at least be polite enough to see us."

There is always a gap between imagination and reality. When I and Ji Nuan arrived at the small town with expectations, his grandmother stopped us. Only after we tried and persuaded her for a long time did she let us in.

It was the first time that I had seen Chen Chusheng. He was legless, wearing a worn-out down jacket. Sitting in a wheelchair, he was looking at a withered plum tree in the yard.

With small scars all over, his face was exceptionally gaunt. Seeing him like this, Ji Nuan lost control of herself and wept silently. I could understand what mixed feelings she had.

Ji Nuan approached him slowly, calling: "Chen Chusheng."

She called in an utterly low voice, fearing that she would scare him.

For just a moment, Chen Chusheng seemed to be dismayed. He slowly turned his head to Ji Nuan, and I saw that his eyes were not clear at all. He asked strangely, "who are you?"

Ji Nuan was stunned, and was at a loss as to what to do.

I hurriedly asked, "do you know Ji Nuan?"

He smiled like an innocent boy, showing his big white teeth. He asked, "who is Ji Nuan?"

Hearing that, Ji Nuan look at Chen Chusheng's grandmother with flustered cheeks. His grandmother sighed and said: "he often does this. I don't know if he has become a fool."

Having been tempered by time, his grandmother had nothing but helplessness in her voice. It seemed that she was not surprised to see Chen Chusheng acting like this.

Ji Nuan did not say anything, but stared fixedly at Chen Chusheng.

As if she was trying to find a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

After a long time, Ji Nuan said, "come on, let's go."

We went back to Wu city. In the car, Ji Nuan said assuredly: "he has not become a fool. He knows me. Through his eyes, I saw him struggling in his mind."

"Then why do you…… "

"He doesn't want to recognize me."

It seems that Ji Nuan had made up her mind. After returning to Wu city, she planned to sell the teahouse. I solemnly asked her, "are you determined to stand by this man who can’t live on his own? Are you determined to take care of him for the rest of your life even if your family would disagree and everyone looks down on him?"

Ji Nuan nodded, and firmly said to me: "I would have died eight years ago. I owe him my life. Even if he doesn’t want to recognize me and pretends to be a fool, I don’t care. I just want to stand by him for the rest of my life. As long as I can see him and accompany him every day, I can endure no matter what hardship I will have to go through. I am even convinced that I will be happy in the future. I will really be happy, and I feel happy now. Before I knew he was still alive, I was determined not to fall in love again. But now…. Sheng er, as long as he exists, I am never dead inside."

For three times, Ji Nuan repeated the word "happy".

But, if she really was to leave everything behind to follow Chen Chusheng, money would be essential, because everything would have a price.

I thought about it and reminded her, "I put a bank card next to your computer a week ago. You should know that it was me who left it, but you never asked for the password."

Ji Nuan compressed lips, said: "I know the password."

Hearing that, I smiled: "you know me."