Smells like sadness

Levina had noticed that Lucien had not left his room all morning. Before she left last night, she had knocked on his door and he turned her away. When she came in the following morning, she knocked and he repeated the same words, as firmly as he did the previous night, "Leave."

She had turned away, a funny feeling gnawing at her chest. A feeling that was new to her; this should be something to be happy about. She shouldn't care that Lucien did not want to make an exception and see her. But why did it bother her?

She sat in the royal kitchen, thinking.

Levina snapped out of her thought when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Levina!"

Levina craned her neck to see who it was. She immediately stood to her feet when she saw Seilah, "Good afternoon, Madam Seilah."

Seilah smiled and moved away from Levina, "I am not the queen, please don't leave your seat."

Levina returned to her sit.

"You must be bored out of your mind here!" The older woman continued, pouring herself a glass of water. "I wonder why Lucien brought you to be his personal nurse, now you have to wander around the castle, idle and alone." She lifted the cup to her lips and emptied the content.

"I really don't mind," Levina lied, biting her nails nervously.

Seilah eyed her, "So!", she settled into a seat beside Levina. "You are a military nurse."

Levina was not sure if that was meant as a question, but she nodded her head just in case it was a question.

"Not many females are eager to become healers much less be trained in the army. They all just learn to cook and knit sweaters, while waiting for a reasonable man to wed them," there was a hint of distaste in her voice.

"There is nothing wrong with wanting a normal life," she would give anything to lead a normal life like every other woman in their kingdom. That was all she ever wanted since she was but a child_ a normal life.

She always wanted to play with other kids, but rather she was confined to her room and she had to watch them play through the window. She never even had the chance to fix root in Arvenia, which was where her home was. Her mother would move her to another village at the slightest hint of a problem.

After her mother died, she moved back to Arvenia to stay with her father. That was the only reason why she wasn't in some distant village, because her father could not afford to pack up and leave his job, just to stay with her in another town. Most people did not even know that her father had a child. It had taken a lot of convincing for her father to let her join the army as a nurse.

Unlike other women, she did not have a friend, that was a foreign term to her and marriage was out of the question. Nobody wanted a witch for a wife.

"That is not normal my child, that is just a stereotype. A very bad one at that," Seilah stood to her feet.

"Some of us cannot afford that stereotype no matter how badly they want it," Levina looked out the window, blinking away the tears clouding her vision.

Seilah stared at the woman sitting in front of her, for a while, not knowing what to make of her. She looked like a woman that held one too many secrets, one that is used to bottling up her emotions, and dined with loneliness. Seilah shook her head.

"I need you to take food to Lucien."

Levina's eyes widened in protest, "Why me?"

Seilah moved to the pot, "Because you are his nurse, and your job is to take care of his health. He can't get better with an empty stomach."

The clattering of pots and plates replaced the silence that followed.

Soon Seilah returned with a tray, holding three different bowls of food covered with a silver platter. Levina hesitated before taking the tray from the woman.

"What if he tells me to leave again," Levina muttered looking to the floor.

"Is his door locked?"

Levina shook her head, "I don't think so."

"Then hurry, he needs some food in his system."

Levina went away feeling unsure about the idea. She was not sure she could handle being yelled at, especially by Lucien.

She walked down the hallway and up the stairs, she slowed down as she got closer to Lucien's room. She paced around for a bit in front of the door, before finally knocking softly at the door.

"Leave!" Lucien grunted angrily.

Levina turned to leave but stopped. Gathering as much courage as she could, she pushed the door open with her free hand. She was immediately blinded by the darkness.

"Did you not hear me?" he asked livid.

"I did, but I do not appreciate being yelled at," she responded stubbornly.

Lucien sat up as soon as he heard Levina's voice but he didn't say anything.

Levina put the tray down on a table by his bedside. She went ahead to pull the curtains open and light filled the room. Lucien flinched and pressed his eyelids shut when the light flooded into his eyes. Her heart melted when she saw the state he was in; he had bags under his eyes, and his face was an unhealthy pale color. He looked miserable. She wanted to reach out to him and tell him everything would be okay, that whatever had him in that state would pass. But she knew better than to try something like that. He wasn't her problem, and whatever was bothering him was for him to deal with.

"It smells like sadness and tears in here," Levina teased but maintained a straight face. Lucien's face lit up in a half smile at her intentional joke.

"Okay, time to eat!" she moved the table closer to him.

"I'm not hungry," Lucien shook his head.

"Well I need you to eat, the earlier you get better, the faster I can return to seeing other people." She opened up the plates and the delightful aroma infiltrated his nostril. His tummy rumbled in response.

"Even your stomach agrees with me."

He rolled his eyes and picked up a spoon, "Join me."