My Sun, My Moon

Sitting across from Father I couldn't help but get anxious. He asked me to meet him alone after the meal to talk about something important. Will he talk about what I suggest to Vivian or something else? I shouldn't be reckless but I don't want to push Vivian into the uncomfortable.

'' Valentiara,'' I snapped back from my thoughts when I heard him calling my name. I looked up to meet his cold ones. I am still scared of him even after all these times.

'' Why are you getting along with those three after all this time?'' He asked me. I gulped down the lump in my throat. I wanted to answer him something but I know no matter what I say he will know instantly that I am lying. I looked down instead of answering.

'' Till now, you always looked at us with eyes filled with hated. Why suddenly are you acting all close to Vivian when you hated her the most?'' He asked me. I felt my heart getting heavy hearing his remarks. I thought I won't get angry at him as I was guilty of making him go to the frontline of the Empire. But, I was wrong. After all, wounds never fade under the shades of guilt and reason.

'' You don't want me to get close to them?'' I asked him. He replied instantly, '' No,'' Same, he is still the same. A bitter chuckle left my mouth and I looked up, '' Then why did you bring me here if you don't want me to be family with them? Was it out of guilt or out of regret?'' His eyes widen hearing me questioning. I always wanted to ask him but never dared to do so till the end. Maybe I was young or I was too scared to hear his answer.

'' Why aren't you answering me?'' I asked him with a heavy heart. I don't know how long I could hold back my tears. '' You won't like my answer,'' He replied. I clenched my dress and asked back, '' Is this your new way of tormenting me?'' He was about to say something but stopped. It's no use asking him. He will never answer me.

'' Fine, you won't have to answer me, Your Grace,'' I said with a smile on my face. He seemed shocked by hearing me calling him like that. But didn't he dislike that I address him as, father? '' Your Grace?'' He mumbled under his breath. There was some unexplained trace of heaviness in his voice, is he hurt? Less likely to be the case.

'' You don't want me to get along with your precious children then tell them not to bother me. I am habitat of being alone,'' I said. I thought maybe this time I will be able to return the love they gave me in my past life but seems like it won't be possible. I was happy for no reason. '' I will inform them,'' Father, no His Grace replied to my proposal positively. I don't know how to explain the feeling I felt after hearing him. Does he hate me because I am someone who was born due to his mistake and he feels that he betrayed the woman whom he loved the most after her death? But is this my fault?

There has always been an unseen wall between us even though God sent me back in time, it seems intake as always. I looked at the huge family picture behind him. Late Grand Duchess was holding baby Vivian in her arms while Waren was sitting next to her and Grand Duke was carrying Valmud in his arms, they looks like a perfect family, a happy family with no space for someone like me. A tear rolled down from my eyes when I realized even after coming back, I won't be able to have someone to lean on.

'' You should've left me in the West, Your Grace,'' I said and stood up to leave the room. I was at the doorstep when I heard him speaking, '' In the ball, don't stumble due to Emperor's intense aura.'' I turned my head and smiled, '' I am stronger than you think I am, Your Grace, I won't tarnish your family's name.'' Saying that I walked out of the room.

I ran, as fast as I could hide from everyone's gaze. I can't break down here, I can't cry right now. I can't show my weak side to anyone. Why? Why do you hate me so much? What wrong did I do? I felt my tears rolling down my cheeks. I wiped them off aggressively. I was drowned in my thoughts that I didn't see that someone was coming from the opposite side and I bumped into him. I closed my eyes ready to feel the pain but I felt someone catching me by my waist.

'' Woooo, you will get hurt lady,'' My eyes widen hearing that voice, I opened my eyes to meet a pair of blue eyes staring at mine worriedly.

'' Sebastian,'' I managed to call his name without choking.

'' You know me, don't you?'' He sarcastically asked me. F###. I stood up on my feet instantly. I am a real mess right now. Why do I have to meet him when I am on verge of breaking down? And more importantly, what is he doing here?

'' I didn't think you will greet me like this,'' I heard him speaking. I took a deep breath and looked at him. He was wearing a smile on his face as always but it seemed genuine like his look today. Blue eyes, a trait of those who can use the Ice Dragon's power by birth and the main specialty of the direct descendant of the House Erars, dazzling golden hair, a sharp jawline that gives him a manly look, tall figure, a well build body which was obvious even if he was wearing a thick cloak made of white fox's fur. No wonder in future he will be called lady killer.

'' Am I that much handsome?'' He asked while grinning. I snapped back and looked at him annoyed, '' Aren't you too much of yourself?'' Sebastian lowered himself at my level, a smirk was plastered on his face, he looks even better from close.

'' You are full of surprises, Lady Valentiara. You know me even though I have been doing a great job in hiding my identity, brave enough to make me search about the Abounded Prince yet I caught you crying as if your whole world crumbled, '' He said those words as low as he could sending shiver in my spines. I have been reckless after I came back in the past thinking none will notice as I have been known as the mad dog of house Casvoner. But how can I forget, Sebastian isn't someone who will be fooled by me so easily? After all, in a past life, this very same man managed to hide Atticus every crime so perfectly that none could ever imagine in their worst nightmare about his real face.

'' You think a lot, don't you?'' He flicked my forehead. I touched them in pain and looked at him angrily. '' What was that for?'' '' Hmm, payment for forging ignorance about your suspicious behavior.'' He replied while smiling brightly. I blinked a few times not understanding the meaning of his words.

'' What do you mean?''

He stood back, the smile on his face was gone. Cold look under which he calculates every move he makes with the other person. I guess I am more comfortable with this look on his face after all this time.

'' Lady Valentiara, I will swear my loyalty to you, instead, I want you to help me with my path of destroying this so-called wise ruler named Alexander Aest De Amanso, can you dare to promise?'' He asked me seriously. I couldn't believe what he was saying. So, it was the reason why Sebastian swore ultimate loyalty to Atticus in return for bringing down the Emperor. Isn't this way too good for me? My ultimate goal is to make Izaak the Emperor and destroy Atticus but at the same time, Make the Emperor beg for death for what he has done to me.

'' I will help you with my best power, and I swore on the life Almighty blessed me,'' I replied. Sebastian's eyes widen. He seemed reassured by my promise and got on his knees and kissed my hand,

'' I, Sebastian Erars, Promise my ultimate loyalty to Valentiara Von Casvoner in the name of God.''

And this is how an alliance based on mutual interest and loyalty was formed between us, who were mortal enemies on the other side of this story. Though if you ask the past me if I would ever accept Sebastian Erars's loyalty, she would surely answer never, here we are. He was holding my hand with his knee on the ground while I was standing proudly in front of me knowing that it was one of my biggest victory of mine.

But little did I know that time, this was just the beginning of the unexpected second life of mine.