Girl Talk

Earth Land, Ishgar, Kingdom of Fiore, Magnolia.

August 11, x788.

"Tomorrow's your birthday, Amar'e~." Ultear said while holding Amar'e in her arms. "Are you excited?"

In response, Amar'e laughed happily. Though everyone was certain that he had no idea of the concept of birthdays, the fact that he was smiling and laughing so happily made everyone smile.

Currently, All of Alfonzo's wives and girlfriends were seated in the Mansion on the Lake's living room just chatting. On top of that, Ur, Lisanna, Irene, Brandish, Heine, and Juliet were present, as well.

"So, who all did you invite to the party, Lici?" Ur asked curiously.

"Everyone we could think of." Elicia replied with a smile. "Everyone except for Bacchus, that is."

"I saw that coming." Marin said with a smile.

"When you say everyone, do you actually mean everyone?" Ur asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Yup!" Elicia replied with an emphatic nod.

"Does that include... her?" Ur asked as she began to shiver.

"Her?" Elicia asked while tilting her head in confusion.

Seeing the way Ur was shivering, everyone was confused. However, it did not take too long for everyone present to have the same image of an absolutely gorgeous female knight with long blonde hair styled into a braid, beautiful blue eyes, and a figure that was as perfect as one could imagine to appear in everyone's heads. Then, like Ur, they all started to shiver, too.

"Oh no..." Elicia muttered in abject terror. "I sent her one, too. I was just so excited for Mar'e's birthday that I didn't think about it."

"*Sigh* This is going to be one hell of a birthday party, isn't it?" Rika asked. "I served with Lady Dustiness once. And I never wanted to be anywhere near her after that."

"Yeah, I still remember the first time I ever met her." Lucy said while shaking her head. "It was right after we rescued Macao from the Vulcan. When we came down Mt. Hakobe, there were bandits trying to steal the Escalade. And after we took them down, she was one of the knights who showed up to take them into custody."

"Oh, I remember that, too." Elicia said. "I met her again after Lucy got in trouble for stealing that S-Class quest with Natsu and Happy, too."

"Ugh! Do you have to bring that up?" Lucy asked while covering her face with her hands. "I can't believe I was so stupid back then. And the worst part is that the clue on that quest would have led us to Galuna Island, the same place where you, Alfonzo, Erza, and Tear cleared the quest and brought back the Celestial Gate Key."

"Oh, I remember that, too." Marin said with a smile. "That was when you came with me and Lici when we took the quest about the pretty girls in the capital getting kidnapped. Lici even tied Darkness up at one point and hung her from a lamp post."

As soon as Marin's words fell, Elicia began to shudder violently.

"Wow! For some reason, every time Lici ties up a chick, they end up completely infatuated with her, don't they?" Cana asked while looking at Elicia with an amused smile on her face.

"Now that you mention it, didn't the same thing happen to Karen, too?" Lucy asked. "I remember Leo saying something about it."

The ladies continued to chat about their various experiences with Darkness for a while, laughing and giggling at the others' misfortunes all the while. While doing so, they did not forget to keep Amar'e entertained, either.

Earth Land, Ishgar, Kingdom of Fiore, Crocus.

*Sneeze!*

*Sneeze!*

*Sneeze!*

*Sneeze!*

*Sneeze!*

At the same time, on the knight's training field at the knights barracks in the capital city, Crocus, Darkness, the beautiful female knight in question, had to stop her, completely ineffective, sword training because she started sneezing over and over. Meanwhile, her two subordinates watched her with concern. But not for the reason one might think...

"Captain, are you okay?" A male knight asked.

"*Sniff* I'm fine." Darkness replied. "Just continue your training."

"But Captain, if you're getting sick, you should take a trip to the medical wing." The second of Darkness' subordinates said in a worried tone.

"Don't worry about it." Darkness replied. "There's probably just someone talking about me. Talking bad about me. *Pant* *Pant* It's probably something demeaning. Like a rumor about how I spread my legs to every noble I met to gain my position. Or maybe it's a vicious rumor that will get me kicked out of the knights all together. And when that happens, I'm sure my family will disown me, leaving me in a state where I'd have to sell my body just for a stale loaf of bread... *Pant* *Pant* But because I have such staunch will power, I'll continue striving to rise again. Yet..."

"And we lost her again." The first male knight said while shaking his head. "*Sigh* And I thought we might be able to avert her attention before it was too late. Oh well, I guess today's training session is over."

"Yeah, I think you're right." The other subordinate said. "So, wanna go get a drink?"

"Sure." The first knight said. "*Sigh* I wanna talk to you about something anyway. My wife feels threatened because I'm around someone as beautiful as Captain Dustiness all day. I really don't know what to do."

"Ooh! That's rough." The second knight said. "And she doesn't believe you when you tell her about how the captain is?"

"Nope." The first knight replied as he and the other knight left the training field. "She only believes in what she sees. On top of that, hearing about a woman that depraved is hard to believe if you've never seen her in person, you know?"

"Actually, do you think we should try and stop the captain?" The second knight asked as he looked over his shoulder. "I mean, didn't she say that she was invited to a birthday party in Magnolia? Won't it be bad if she's late?"

"Don't worry about it." The first knight said while waving dismissively. "Usually, the captain is pretty good about things like that. But even if she does miss it, she'll probably be ecstatic about the looks she'll receive next time she sees those people."

"*Sigh* You're probably right." The second knight said while shaking his head. "Anyway, let's go."

Just like that, the two knights in Darkness' squad left the training ground, leaving Darkness lost in her delusions.

Earth Land, Ishgar, Kingdom of Fiore, Magnolia.

At the same time, everyone present in the Mansion on the Lake's living room, minus Amar'e, shuddered involuntarily. Then they all looked around to see what could have caused that reaction.

"Anyway, where is Alfonzo?" Irene asked curiously. "I actually wanted to talk to him about something."

"Oh, you're finally ready to pick up where you lef--- Mmph!" Elicia said without thinking.

Luckily, Irene reacted quickly enough to stop the rest of Elicia's sentence. However, everyone was now staring at her, curious to know why she was so quick to cover Elicia's mouth.

"If you say another word, I'll start spreading bad rumors about your Taylor Shop." Irene said quietly. "By the time I'm done, no one will look at your clothes the same way, ever again."

Hearing that, Elicia's eyes widened in panic. She had no idea what Irene might say, but she was sure that she would not like the consequences.

So, after a moment of shock, Elicia vigorously nodded her head. Then, she raised her right hand to where her mouth would be and made a gesture of zipping it over Irene's hand, locking it, and throwing away the key.

Seeing that, Irene glared at Elicia for a few moments longer. Then, she slowly removed her hand. At the same time, she turned an intimidating glare in Shizuka's and Rika's directions, as well.

"Why are you looking at me like that, Irene?" Shizuka asked while tilting her head to the side in a cute manner.

"Don't worry, I have no plans to tell everyone about your business." Rika said with a shrug.

Hearing that, Irene nodded her head in satisfaction. Unfortunately, she had forgotten about someone. And when that someone spoke, her satisfied expression changed quite quickly.

"Mother, there's no need to be embarrassed." Erza said in a self-righteous tone. "What you're feeling is completely natural. I'm sure no one will--- Mmph!"

Once again, Irene reacted quickly, lunging across the couch to cover Erza's mouth. Then,

"Erza, although I was not there when you were growing up, do you think you're too old for me to put you over my knee?" Irene asked in the most menacing tone she had used since she regained her humanity.

However, Erza's response was completely outside her expectations.

"Mother, although I'm not sure I'd be into you doing that…" Erza said after prying her mother's hand off her mouth. "But I rather enjoy it when Alfonzo does that. So, I'm willing to try."

After Erza's words fell, everyone fell off the couch and onto the floor in classic anime fashion, causing Amar'e to laugh happily after seeing and being a part of the scene.

"I really don't know why we didn't' all expect that from Erza." Cana said after making sure she didn't spill any of her drink when she fell.

"Seriously, Erza, that's definitely not what Irene was talking about." Lucy said exasperatedly. "She was talking about giving you a spanking like parents do with naughty children."

"Really?" Erza asked in a surprised tone. "Do they really do that? I've never seen it."

In response to Erza's reply, almost everyone present looked at each other with awkward expressions. None of them had received spankings for being naughty, outside of the bedroom, either. So, everything they knew about the subject was through hearsay.

"*Cough* Anyway, back to my original question." Irene said in an attempt to change the awkward atmosphere. "What is Alfonzo up to?"

"Oh, he's working on something for the house." Elicia said with a smile. A moment later, however, she pouted in annoyance. "But he wouldn't tell me what it was. He said it was a 'surprise'."

"Wow! He didn't even tell you, Lici?" Sun asked with her eyes wide open. "Then, it must be really big. The last time he kept a secret from everyone was when he built this mansion, right?"

When Sun said, "It must be really big," everyone could have sworn that they heard Alfonzo's voice saying something juvenile. But they decided to tell themselves it was an auditory hallucination, and continue with the conversation.

"Yeah, he even turned down a night with me, Lucy, and Erza instead of telling us about that." Marin said while pouting. Clearly,, she had just remembered how badly her seduction attempt failed that night.

"Well, there's no point making a fuss about it." Ur said with a shrug. "Doesn't he always make stuff that you all love whenever he keeps secrets?"

All the ladies could not help but nod their heads when they heard that.

Meanwhile, Alfonzo, along with Ai, was in his workshop putting the finishing touches on his new magic item. A magic item that would have no meaning if it were used almost anywhere else in the world. Though, it might get some use on the continent where Retsu came from.

"Are you sure this will work, Master Alfonzo?" Ai asked while curiously watching Alfonzo work.

"It should." Alfonzo replied. "The only question is will it have any side effects."

'I really hope I got this right.' Alfonzo said to himself as he reached up to wipe a bead of sweat from his brow. 'Otherwise, I'll have to fight Riot and Bedlam immediately, and I'll have to win against them in two days or less."

["And we both know that will never happen."] Riot said cockily.

["Riot's right, you're not ready to fight us yet."] Bedlam added. ["So, don't make any mistakes, okay?"]

Hearing his [Armament Spirits'] talking trash, Alfonzo really wanted to challenge them at that very moment. However, he had his priorities straight. So, he squashed that impulse almost immediately.

"Alright, that should be it." Alfonzo said with his eyebrows twitching as he looked at the human shaped metallic item standing in the middle of his workshop. "Now, I can only hope that it works the way I intend it to."

"Perhaps you should test it somewhere else then?" Ai asked curiously. "You wouldn't want an accident to affect everyone in the mansion, correct?"

"That's' a pretty good idea." Alfonzo said while stroking his chin. "The question is, how do I get it out of the house without anyone noticing I left. Because as soon as I leave the barrier, everyone living here will notice."

After thinking for a while, Alfonzo could not come up with a good idea..

"Well, brute force it is." Alfonzo said with a shrug. "Ai, I'll be back later. Tell the girls I stepped out. Oh, and let them know there's no need to panic after Amar'e disappears, okay?"

"Huh?" Ai exclaimed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

In the next instant, Ai was forced to close her eyes when the entire workshop was lit up by a flash of violet light. And when she opened her eyes, both Alfonzo and the newly built magic item had disappeared.

A moment later, in the living room, Amar'e seemed to disappear out of the blue. Naturally, that caused all the ladies to start panicking. However, when they felt both Alfonzo and Amar'e leave the barrier surrounding the house, their panic vanished. Yet, they were thoroughly upset by Alfonzo's actions.

"Fonzie~~~~~!" Elicia screamed. "Where are you taking my Mar'e?"

A few seconds later, after hearing Elicia and the others getting rowdy, all the maids rushed to the living room, with Ai being the last to arrive. And when Ai arrived, all the eyes in the room zeroed in on her. And despite her calm demeanor, she was thoroughly terrified by all the angry gazes.

"Ai, tell us where Fonzie took Mar'e." Elicia demanded.

"I'm sorry, Madam Elicia, I can't do that." Ai said with cold sweat dripping down her back as she bowed politely. "Master Alfonzo has sworn me to secrecy. And I dare not break my oath."

Although they were upset by Ai's words, they would not force her to break a promise to Alfonzo. On top of that, they all knew that Amar'e was safe with Alfonzo. However, the women were just upset that Alfonzo took Amar'e without saying anything. And what made the whole situation even worse, was the fact that Alfonzo was traveling too fast for any of them to find him when they finally spread out their [Magic Power Detection]. So, the only thing they could do was wait for Alfonzo to come back with Amar'e.