Chapter 7 Shila

Sheena was flabbergasted to discover her friend with a blank expression sitting on a bench with her back leaned against the wall.

But what was most startling was how she was laughing hysterically. Her friend was scaring her so much with her sudden change in emotion.

“God, is this how you wish to punish me? For all the sins I’ve committed?” Sherry cried out painfully. The tone of her voice told Sheena that something was horribly wrong, but she was smiling like a maniac. She wasn’t her usual self.

“Lei, what’s wrong?” Sheena cocked her head as she peered down at her friend. Her friend paid her no heed. She continued to talk crazily, as if she was possessed.

“God, why couldn’t you at least let me have something to remind myself of him? Why have you taken my only child away?”

Sheena immediately wrapped her arms around Sherry’s skinny body.

“Girl, don’t frighten me. What exactly happened?”

Sherry’s eyes brimmed with tears. She didn’t know what was happening. From her husband’s accident, now her son ended up taken from her. If not that her husband still had a chance of surviving, she would have lost all will to live then. But now that her son was gone, that very small resolve of hers was quenched.

Amidst tears, she related what Andrew’s class teacher had told her.

“During our group play, Andrew disengaged himself from us. We don’t know what was on his mind, but he jumped into the river. No matter how hard we tried to find him, we couldn’t find him or his body. We have been looking for him for two days, Madam. I’m truly sorry.”

“He was your responsibility!” she yelled in agitation. “How could you just tell me this, after I had entrusted him in your care? Andrew is a well-behaved boy. He wouldn’t have jumped into the water without a reason!”

She ended the call abruptly. After that, Andrew’s psychologist called to thank her for her payment. Instantly, she questioned him blankly about Andrew’s issues. Due to patient confidentiality, the psychologist had requested her to leave the room so he could speak to him in private about. She had no idea what had exchanged.

The psychologist was reluctant to tell her about Andrew’s personal problems, but Sherry broke down immediately and told him about Andrew’s ill fate. She couldn’t believe how she had just lost her son in a matter of days. She shouldn’t have agreed to the trip at all. Perhaps she would still have her son then.

Everything had come crashing down on her head in an instant.

“Madam, Andrew was bullied in school. He hasn’t told me much, but he is afraid. They make him do things that he is extremely fearful of, and he doesn’t dare to share his issues with teachers. He’s scared they will scold him. We were trying to work out a method for him to release his anxiety through an outlet, as well as teach him how to respond positively to bullying.”

“It’s too late,” Sherry murmured as she ended the call.

“Leigh, don’t frighten me,” Sheena squeezed her friend more closely to her chest. “It’s an accident. Nobody wanted this to happen.”

She just wept. “I’m a failure as a mother and as a wife.”

“Don’t think such things, Leigh! You have been toiling day and night, all for your family. You’ve done so much. How could you doubt yourself?”

“Sheena, I… I don’t know what to do right now. Please, just leave me be.”

“Leigh, Andrew would have wanted you to live. He is up there among the stars in the sky, watching over you. He’s in a better place now, believe me.”

Sheena was a religious woman. But Sherry differed. All she wanted was her son to be next to her. She didn’t believe in religion all her life. This time, she figured that karma was punishing her for her wrongdoings. First by taking her husband and now her son.

No matter how her friend tried to console her, Sherry couldn’t have any of it. All she wanted was to get away from everyone and everything, and to escape into a world where she could be alone.

If Anders was with her now, he would have accompanied her through each painful moment she was going through. But he wasn’t.

“Why? Why now?” she cried out hopelessly. Sheena stroked her friend’s back, but Sherry just pushed her away. Getting up, she dashed as fast as her long legs could take her out of the visitor hall. Sheena, who had shorter legs, was unable to catch up with her expeditious speed. Soon, Sheena was a blur in the distance.

Tears streamed down her face like a waterfall as she ran. Sherry couldn’t believe how her son had just left her in a breath. It was as if she had given birth to him yesterday. His laughter resounded in her mind. He was her greatest pride. She remembered clearly every sight of him on the ultrasound monitor and each kick in the womb. The moment she had given birth to him and held him in her arms for the first time was the greatest time of her life.

And now, fate ripped him away from her. It hurt way more than her husband’s death. Her son mattered to her more than anything else. He was her flesh and blood. Now, she was all alone in this world. If only, she could depart this world, she thought.

With her husband’s accident, she still had the strength to go on waiting. But when the closest person in her life departed her, she had nothing worth living on. She had degraded herself to the lowest point of her life, begged someone on her knees and was molested.

But nothing affected her like how her son’s death did.

At this juncture, she felt that dying was the best solution. This way, she didn’t have to go through any more suffering. Everything would stop at that point.

Soon, everything would end, she told herself over and over. In a few minutes, she would plunge from the highest point, and everything would all end from this point.

“If reincarnation is real, Andrew, I hope I can be your mother again,” she uttered blankly to the sky. Her face seemed to glow under the bright moonlight as she continued to speak to Andrew.

“Andrew, I’ll always love you.”

She took off her heels slowly and climbed over the railing, looking down at the ground below. If she plunged from the railing, she was sure she would be killed in seconds.

“Goodbye, Andrew. Goodbye, Anders.”

In the distance, Sherry thought she heard a baby’s gurgle, then everything turned black.