Chapter 97: Wanhwa (Relenting)

I came back to our room to find her fully unconscious, once again her legs were bare and even in her wretched state her beauty was undisturbed. It wasn't fair; I had no idea if I should hate her to love her, torture her until I get a confession or trust her whilst she left me in the dark. But I put all of that to one side for now as I took advantage of the situation as I had been trained to all my life. The truth was that...well, yes I had a misfortunate first crush on a girl that wasn't her but...Yeon and Hui-Jee...they were truly the only women I had thought about being with...the only ones.

After all the suffering, humiliation, loneliness and abandonment that I had endured for all of my life, was it really so strange that my first ever love was the first person who treated me as a human being...that wasn't a female? But now I wasn't so sure, ever since I had his sister in front of me and treated me completely differently than anyone ever had in their entire life. Myself and Hwi, we came from different worlds so we were often ridiculed for our friendship...even though I had fallen in love with him at such a young age there were still barriers between us since all men carried around that appalling yet vital condition that we call pride. But his sister; she had seen the worst of me and she wasn't disgusted; she still trusted me enough to live with me after the sins I had to commit just to keep her safe and she strangely blended into both worlds. Not even Hwi had ever been able to protect me like she had, especially after everything...the things she did...I knew, deep down that everything she had done, she had done it for me. But what I wasn't willing to accept at the time was how she had pulled it off without confiding in me even once, even when I had began changing my plans just for her, plans that I had no idea that she knew about all along. Yeon...her love and acceptance for me...she was the only woman I had truly accepted into my life 100% and even know I would do anything in m power to protect her...but the fact that she saw through me was something I could not accept so easily...it was as if she thought she knew the worst of me and what I was capable of and just accepting it without really witnessing it because I wasn't willing to show her that side of me. So I thought she blindly cared about me without knowing who I really was...and that coupled with the fact that I really didn't know who she was either was beginning to throw me into a new place that I had never been in before...a place where I wanted to hurt her, so I could show her what she was doing to me and putting me through. I was going to provoke her into showing me her real self, so I could see what I was dealing with...and get my own revenge on her so she knew not to hide anything from me ever again...and I started going that by exploring her in her sleep. I started exploring the body that I had been wondering about ever since her makeover and when I had been secretly watching her....

I removed the blanket from her ever so slightly as I didn't even hesitate to stick my nose into her hair so I could loose myself in her. I had never really fully thought that I would be attracted to a woman like I was now, but one whiff of her perfume was turning me into a different man...a man that was just like every other man who walked the streets of this nation, a man with desires for a woman...the only woman who was capable of loving him and tending to him day and night with a sense of compassion and love that seemed to be bottomless. She made me feel...normal. I didn't think that I could ever feel that way but after everything she's done for me career wise...and she loved me so much that I already fell myself and my dry nature changing as soon as she woke up here all those years ago...she could love me. She does love me. And she will love me. Forever...as soon as I taught her lesson to know that she could never hide sherif from me again or do things without my knowledge ever again...as my woman.

She smelled so good, so good that she reminded me of the fields I trained in with her brother; they were my most precious memories that I had thought and faded long ago...but now just smelling her made me reminisce about my only good times over and over again. And my goodness, for a woman who wore rags for a decade and carried out chores daily she was so...soft. Just a mere prod of my finger and I thought I was poking at cotton or silk rather than human flesh, especially ones that I had seen been put though some of the worst conditions by my father through his punishments or in the palace. She was like a dream that had been placed into my hands that represented everything that my father despised, everything that I was kept away from...and it made me desire her even more. Her legs were long, but before I could even touch them...I suddenly had one of the most selfish yet ingenious ideas that I could devise to keep her by my side for as long as I wanted and even longer than that...

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I woke up in his embrace a few hours later, with my clothes hanging loosely, my head all over the place and with his hands all over me. I had no idea what was going on but I was barely awake when he kissed me...and thanked me for a very good night. "What on earth are you talking about? What happened? And why are you sleeping so close to me? Have you lost your mind?" "Why does any of that matter anymore after last night?" He replied as he started readying himself besides me, with his back turned to me. "I appreciate you bringing your brother to me last night, far more than I can ever let you know. In doing so, you have given me everything I desire with your own hands...even now." He was still using that scary tone with me, and I was still a little overwhelmed with what he just did said. I looked at my clothes that were torn to the floor when he threw me a fresh pair of clothes from under the bed so I could get dressed, although it was more fancier this time, in fact it was almost identical to what I used to wear before my memory loss although it wasn't as bad either. "I've given you a new separate chest full of clothes you are to wear around your brother. Do not wear what I've given you to wear during our time here in this village behind my back, I do not want any other man looking at you like they have during my stay with you." I winced a little at his tone which was getting more severe with each word that left his lips so I had no choice but to obey him as if he was my husband. I started getting dressed on my own when he suddenly started to help me with a deadly serious face on him.

I swore in that moment I felt my blood run cold from the moment I finally managed to take in what was happening. "What...Seon-Ho...what happened last night?" I barely managed to whisper as I finally noticed the bloodstain on the bottom of the bedsheets. I looked to him and I couldn't tell but notice the cold-blooded stare before he turned it into a cheery smile just for me as he sat back on the bed with one arm wrapped over me so I couldn't move. "Do you not remember? You must have been seriously ill last night for you to remember how to kissed me first after I gave you medicine." "You what? I kissed you? Me? Are you sure?" "Yeonnie...you...kissed me. And you wouldn't stop...so I found no reason to either, especially how you gave into me first." "No...no...I wouldn't do that...not again, not after what he have been through in the palace...i mean afterwards..." "Why are you denying it? You gave yourself to me and you told me that you loved me, and you wanted to be with me. So do not worry..." he started stroking my hair at this point as I trembled under his touch, but I had no idea at this point if it was in a bad way or not. "I will take care of you...forever." His smile and tone...it was filled with so much misery, that I lost myself in the moment and I...I leaned in to kiss him and the kissed me back, gently at first before it got a little too much and I had to turn my face from him.

We were all ready to leave until I saw him steal the bedsheet which we had slept upon with my bloodstain on it. I looked at him in confusion but he still didn't face me as we both made our way to have some lunch. I kept looking at Seon-Ho...my man who kept his eyes stuck on me. And despite the crazy circumstances that we were in, I couldn't help but to try and rack my brain for some memory of what must have happened between us...only to find my body shivering in pleasure every single time I thought about it. I couldn't believe how much he was trusting me before I even had time to explain everything to him. It was like my mind had stopped working and was transported into a different world where wishes and dreams came true; I still counted what I did but he...he accepted me. He didn't reject me at all, and he even vowed take care of me as his woman forever. The possibility...it was too sweet not to savour in the moment. I wanted it to be true, and for a while I really couldn't wait for him to keep his word. Despite his new promotion, I longed for him to make up with my brother and come with wherever he took us...as my husband. My husband who I would welcome home with open arms, who I would tend to with all of my heart and would educate me himself. My husband...but right now, even I got more than I bargained for when we returned to the carriage and he pulled me into his lap and kept his arm around me so I couldn't move an inch. To feel his touch for the entirely of our journey and his breath only neck was a slow torture that made me want to revisit the countless acts we just did together. I want eat o consume him every time I was near him, touched him and saw him, even it was from a distance. For the first time, I wanted to truly belong to him, to bury myself in his embrace every single day for the rest of my life if I could. I finally felt a happiness that I could rely on, and would keep me going for the rest of my life...but what about Hui-Jee? He hadn't said anything about her yet...was he going to stop seeing her? Or was he that ambitious and selfish enough to feed us both lies? No matter how i felt about him, i would never become a homewrecker or 'the other woman.' My father had raised me far better than to act like some jilted concubine. Men in our nation dd have the right to have more than one woman, but it didn't suit my plans and i simply did not have the time for it. If i was going to be with somebody, I was going to be the only one...or nothing at all.