Chapter 133: Fate (Unmyeong)

From that moment on I did everything I could to distract myself with work as Yeon began to haunt me in every single waking and sleeping moment I had from all the guilt that I had. If I thought I was torn apart by what I did to Hwi I was in for a very rude awakening. I want't a very emotional person god knows that my father managed to suck out nearly all of my emotions, but now every time I thought about Yeon I felt like bursting into tears. I was too emotionally conflicted and I was falling into a deep stage of depression. All I could think of was how everybody I had ever held dear abandoned me, but now looking back on what I did to Yeon, maybe I was the one who was driving them all away. But it wasn't entirely my fault….if I didn't have an asshole of a father who made me get rid of everyone around me with my own hands…if only I had paid more attention to her…if only my father didn't threaten me with her damned life every time I looked her way…she should have been able to come to me if she was struggling on her own and now at what the fuck I put her through on her own…she must have been desperate for my help…"it is not your fault my love" Yeon came up behind me and wrapped herself around me. Yeon…my imagination of her shadow had at least stayed with me every singe day. I had her dressed in a simple but transparent dress with was no more than a thin layer of sheet barely covering her. She sat with me, talked to me and took care of me in her real absence. "So why did you leave me?" "I have things to do my love…things that could cost you everything you have worked for, even your life. But I must do this…but I will come back, you know that I will…" "No, I cannot live like this, waiting every single day for your return." "Please my love, you have already been through so much…" she began undressing me from behind me before she held me from the front this time. "Come on, you've had a long day at work, come and take a bath." She took me by my hand and led me to a fully filled bath tub. I undressed myself and I got in whilst she started scrubbing me down. "What will you do…if you see me again?" The shadow asked as I kept my hand firmly wrapped around her delicate thighs. "I…I will find you. And I will make you mine…and when you cannot live without me, I will make you regret leaving me behind ever again." And with that picked up the ghost of her that I has lost myself in and I brought her into the bathtub with me and I placed her onto my lap as we just sat in silence and held onto each other as if we were the only people left in our worlds…

This was my routine for a while; work, accommodation, Yeon, drink…until one day I had come out from a work meeting when one of my juniors stopped me. "Hey, you know I tried to get the paperwork to you earlier, but I didn't want to disturb you and your lover." "My lover? What are you talking about?" "Hey, it's ok, we've all had one. She's really very pretty though, no wonder you don't come out of your home much." "What…what did she look like? What did you see?" "She's shorter than you and definitely younger. Long black her, peachy makeup and she was holding onto you while you slept." I thought my heart was going to drop to my knees and I was very close to throwing up. I made my way back to my accommodation in silence when I got the maids to talk some more. "well…she….it had indeed happened…quite a few times." "What has happened?" I asked them weakly, feeling like I was about to loose my mind in all of the confusion that she had left me in. "She comes to you when you are asleep, she cooks for you, tends to you, she sleeps next to you and she cries her heart out. She misses you…so much…"

Sadness and looniness had completely overcome me as I locked myself in my room. I undressed myself and I looked around the room until I saw the ghost of her again, barely dressed and sitting by the window with a sad look on her face. She made her way to me, lay down next to me and watched me for a while before laying onto my chest and I held her tightly as she fell asleep. But no matter how many times I did this over and over again, I couldn't smell her, I couldn't taste her and I couldn't feel her holding onto me as if her life depended on it…

My anger overtook me as usual but this time it worked in my favour as I was practically doing most of the work myself whilst these lazy idiots took credit for the people who worked under them. In fact I didn't even took break until I did all I could and I was ready to go to sleep. But today I couldn't even close my eyes no mater how tired I was. I decided to take a walk around the forest instead to clear my head when I came across the river. At once I took the opportunity to bathe by my damned self for once. But now I was transfixed by the water that haunted my memories of my so-called beloved older brother. Looking at how Yeon managed to change my entire outlook on her made me realise that I may have been wrong about others, including my own family members. My brother who was always my father's favourite and his model child that I resented after death. Why? Because he didn't take me with him in death and left me in hell on earth with our demon of a father who constantly humiliated me on so many levels because I was nothing like him. Hwi could have probably measured up to him, but his father was a famous swordsman so it wasn't his fault. My father and best friend hated each other so he wouldn't have been able to get along with him at all. But despite everything my father put me trough because of him, Min-Ho was the only one to accept me before the Seo's did. He made time for me, played with me and did treat me like a brother. And my mother…my dear mother who loved me so much that she would rather die than live and have me snatched away from her. And now here I was in front of the water that took my brother's life and took me away from my mother.

I was beginning to regret my brainwashed mentality that my father instilled in me, I couldn't even recognise myself anymore since I did what I did to the Seo's. I didn't have a clue on what my own morals and values were, Andy goals were always based on what someone else wanted that they could gain through me. Use me, neglect me, abandon me…that's all my life has been since I was born, so why bother living anymore?

I was just about to go into the water fully clothed this time, when all of I sudden I heard women's voices from around the corner of the river. When I realised that here would be women bathing here I immediately thought of turning around and waking away back to my camp, when I heard a familiar voice all of a sudden. I prayed to god for probably the second time in my life that Yeon hadn't driven myself crazy to the point where I was now not only seen her everywhere but I was now hearing her voice. I tried to walk away but her voice wasn't getting any fainter, so I decided to stealthy check on a few things without trying to look too…perverted. And when I saw what I saw was throughly convinced that god himself was now playing with my life as a complete joke from now on.

"I don't want to talk about it, let's change the subject now." "How? You left one of the most prestigious women's schools in the nation like you were a fugitive or something? How can I get over that?" "It was a boring rigid place full of rules and old-fashioned ideas. I've been literally imprisoned for over a decade by these rules and ideas and I'm over it. I can't go though that anymore, and I would do that again 100 times over." "What do you end old fashioned ideas? What's wrong with being a good housewife?" "First of all, woman can do a lot more than keeping quiet in a corner and opening their legs when it't time to make babies and carry them whilst our bodies changes. And when that happens, men always look elsewhere for entertainment and totally disregarding the duties that women carry out and are bound to. In the end the husbands usually get someone else pregnant but will pay more attention to the mistresses because they are not frigid like all housewives are in this nation are made out to be due to lack of equality or a man always putting a woman down to make him feel better about themselves."

"So…what are you saying exactly?""I do not believe that a man could ever love faithfully in this corrupt world anymore, so why would I put myself in that sort of situation at all? On top of everything else that I've already been through before I turned 20 years old." "So…is that why you don't let any court you? Even though there's a lot of men that want to know, including our employer?" "That bastard is the biggest example of my belief's, his wife is currently pregnant with their 3rd child, he doesn't even look at any of them and he's just got his eyes on me. And then his wife tortures me because of the unwanted attention that I'm getting." "So what are yo going to do about it? She's already torturing you with private beating and no food." "Don't you worry about her, I've handled bigger bullies than her when I was at a noble mansion for a few years. Besides, I don't really blame her, but it's not like she's going to confront her husband is she? Anyways, speaking of work we better head back before I get you into trouble and all."

To say that I completely froze in shock when I saw Yeon…the only Yeon that I had known my entire life and helped take care of in my father's home, now completely naked in front of me as she made her way out of the river with a friend that I didn't know about with these frank statements was a complete understatement. My mind had never really wondered to crass thoughts since I never had my own mind to myself, but now that I had a naked woman in front of me…I couldn't't even describe what I was feeling, all I knew that it was unexpected, strong and it had me on the ground as if I had been hit somewhere private, but in a good and powerful way. But as soon as I had gathered myself, I realised that she was already gone! I had to rub my eyes together to make sure that she was real, but as soon as she had left, I had spots done of her hair ribbons onto the floor.

I ran around like a madman trying to find her all across the river until I came to a big old noble household that had probably over 50 workers of ever kind…including Yeon herself. The first thing that came to mind was 'why was she wearing clothes again'. That mere thought got my face really hot and I tried to shake those thoughts away for now but I had a feeling that they were going to haunt me later on tonight. But before I could even hide myself properly I had a swarm of young women all in their teens all around me and…flirting with me?

I had never felt so awkward in my life as there was only one woman on my mind that I wanted to see, and soon enough the noise got her attention; as soon as she turned around to see me her peachy face turned white before it dropped. But when our eyes met there was an instant and deep connection hiding behind a not-so-strong wall that she was putting up in front of me. I couldn't blame her; after everything I had put her through of course she was going to be confused for a while and needed some time to cool down, but from the moment I saw her emerge from the pool naked my patience was already wearing extremely thin. Whatever the hell she wanted to do, she was going to have to do it by my side whether she like it or not.