Chapter 136: Complications (Habbyeongjeung)

I could barely control myself around him as I wiped the blood from him, he looked like a totally different person from the one I had lived with in his father's mansion. He looked like a man who finally knew what he wanted and knew what he had to do to get it in the complete opposite way that his wretched father had taught him…but he looked a little too confident right now as he kept leaning into my neck, playing with my hair and…teasing me. I think. "Did you finally tera yourself away from your father's mentality?" I asked him softly to break the tension. "Do you always know what's going through my head?" "You are many things, but a talented actor, you are not. It has always been easy for me to read your thoughts and your emotions." "How can you read me so easily? You're nothing like your brother you know, you're the hardest person to read." "You're easy to read because emotionally you're the same as my brother. You have a clean heart and good intentions. You were just raised more ambitiously than he was." "Well I don't know about you, but I know what I'm thinking of right now. Actually…since you're blushing quite a bit, I think I know what's on your mind right now." And with that he grabbed me and placed me onto his lap as if I were a child…or so I thought before his hands started wondering dangerously. "Do you really think that all men are unfaithful like you described when you were bathing?"

My jaw hit the ground at that point when I realised exactly where he heard that from, and I finally knew why he had been staring at me like a damned animal the entire time. "Please tell me that you had the decency to…" "To get a peek of you completely naked? What do you think?" He didn't even let me answer that with a dignified response before he pulled me in for a very passionate and very long kiss that I couldn't even begin to fight. He had my by the arms and the last thing she was being right now was gentle. He touched me like he had every single right to…come to think of it I really don't remember a single time when he ever asked for my permission first. I couldn't even fight him off when his hands had touched pretty much everything that there was to touch before he encouraged me to do the same. I was in big trouble if I didn't escape this room right now, as we weren't really on the same page to be doing this right now…no matter how much I just wanted to surrender already. This arrogant bastard was actually laughing at my attempts to fight him off of me until I managed to get an arm loose and throw the nearest object I could find against the door. That certainly got the children's attention as they made their way back to their bedrooms. One of them opened the door and asked me to tuck them into bed whilst Seon-Ho shot me a much angrier look than even I could have anticipated before he followed me and just watched me as usual as I began to preform my duties.

"How longed you think you can run and hide from me?" "For as long as I can before I fully know what I'm getting myself into." "Just what the hell is that supposed to mean? You told me you trusted me!" "And I do, I trust you with my life. However you are now an official person of the palace, a rising star and women have not stopped themselves from throwing themselves at you, correct? You haven't even had time to explore and you already think you can commit yourself to one person? That's not practical at all and you know it. And…and I'm pretty sure if she gave you a chance you would be with her right no w and you would have forgotten me long ago." He got so angry at this that he quite literally put his fist through the wall of the bedroom, and scaring all the children. I could only shoot him and angry look but he actually pulled a big chunk of my hair to pull me towards him "so there is nothing I can do or say to convince you how genuine I am, so be it. But from the moment you surrender to me entirely I'll make you my bride whether you like it or not. Ad so help me if I see any men around you that has intentions to court you I will kill him myself and present his head on a platter for you."

He dragged me to our bedroom and I had no way to escape at all. And despite the now awkward tension between us, I still took care of him and I tucked him into his bed like I used to do behind his back while he looked at me with anger and sadness. I wiped his tears away and I slept right besides him, comforted by his presence a lot more than I had realised. "You are pretty good with children" he whispered to me after a while. "Children are pretty easy to handle when you know what they want." "You would make a pretty great mother you know." His statement completely took me aback and hit a raw nerve in me, all I could do was turn around in my bed and avoid him completely. He wasn't having any of it as he pulled my bed towards him and he almost got right on top of me "do you think that I have no idea what you're doing? Getting work because you want the experience but playing with kids all damned day to avoid the world that you could be a part of by my side, changing the world especially for women like you want to. And you are running far away from a man that could help you, protect you and give you everything you want just like you have given to me. Why do you still want to be invisible like you used to be? You've overcome all of your insecurities so why are you still acting like a child!" "You know what? I think it was easier for everyone when I still had epilepsy compared to now." I tried to storm off but he wasn't letting go of me, instead he vey forcible wrapped myself around him before we fell asleep together.

In the morning we found out that the madame of the home had her miscarriage while her husband was still recovering from the beating that Seon-Ho gave him. The team had the entire household help out with the flooding issue as well as pacify the villagers with whatever we could do for them. But Seon-Ho, who was now leading the team kept me on a annoyingly tight leash and would barely let me interact with anyone. "Since when have I become your personal servant your highness?" I asked him bitterly since he had me on my feet since damned morning a few days later. "Since you chose to introduce me as your fiancé to everyone. But don't worry, i'v got another job for you if you want to take a break" he replied with his evil little smile that made me unintentionally blush as I stormed off. As much as I was slowly surrendering to him, I couldn't stay in this position for longer the next part of my plans now falling into place. I had already seen a magnificent chance within him but I had things to do and I couldn't uproot him when he has halfway through with his work. I decided to leave our relationship to fate one last time before I made a decision about our future together. He had been coming back to the home later and later anyways these days as the project was wrapping up, long after I had fallen asleep. I just hoped he would forgive me if he found me again…and if he did I promised myself that I would make him more of a priority in my life…despite the secret that he must have kept even from himself for so long that he most likely didn't recognise it anymore…but I couldn't…

And from there it had been ages since I last saw Seon-Ho, and I was doing everything in my power to keep myself busy so he could give me peace of mind for at least one day. That had been my single wish for months; for him not to be my first thought when I woke up, whilst I ate and readied myself…while I worked, while I was on by break and when I slept. I could not get the look on his face when we were in the palace or how he kept trying to do things with me out of my head no matter how I distracted myself. I even listened to a few colleagues we were close to and started hanging around men that they were courting with them. I wasn't even aware of the amount of attention I was getting until I came back to my room one day full of courting gifts. I was prepared for the change that would come into my life when I stopped hiding behind my brother, my poverty and my epilepsy…but I had to admit that I still thought of myself of the person who did indeed hide behind all of these things, because I was in no way shape or form ready for the attention that men gave me all the time. I had them following me, waiting for me in places I had no idea how they knew about, pulling me out of restaurants to pay for my for and drink…it was very overwhelming to be honest and I honestly didn't really know how to deal with it…until I didn't have to anymore. After months of being separated from Seon-Ho, suddenly out of nowhere I had men…afraid to look at me? They wouldn't approach me anymore, talk to me anymore or even follow me everywhere. I was completely grateful…but something seemed off about it. I tired to approach some of them and they actually started shaking in fear, even Hyun-Ki who was more…excited than the rest of them when he saw me had his head down onto the floor when I approached him.

It was only when Hyo-Sonn approached me and told me that there had been a powerful man who was threatening practically every man in the village to stay away from some woman was after. Apparently this man from the palace had set his sights on settling into the village for a while for his job and to look for his woman at the same time, but no-one knew why she had run away from him. I couldn't help but smile at this little story as I heard everyone else in the ranch i worked at talk about it. It sounded really romantic…and exactly the kind of thing I would never hope to experience in this lifetime. I wished those two all the best as I got on with my chores of taking care of the animals, the small children that came to play with them from noble families and carry on with my tuition classes for the low-born children who wanted to learn to read and write. But I couldn't get my mind off of that story and it began to unsettle me for some reason. I did have people I trusted looking after him and watching over him for me, but I didn't have the time to read the reports they sent me fora while so I had no idea how he was at all. I didn't know if he was eating well, keeping up with his training, keeping himself warm or what. These thoughts kept me up at night and worried me to no end. I had thought that my absence would help get things going between himself and Hui-Jee, so why wasn't she taking care of him? Why hadn't I heard any news of their courtship yet? Or…even their marriage? I always shuddered at that last thought but I tried my best to be happy for them no matter what. They were both good looking people and would no doubt breed a good family…unlike myself who's blood was now tainted with epilepsy and god know's what else I had ingested in the Nam mansion.

I had just gotten into bed after a long day of work and I tired to sleep, but once again my mind was plagued with thoughts of new opportunities that would come Seon-Ho's way; fame, glory…women, vices, corruption…I turned over in my bed and tried to close my eyes, when my fingers made contact with an old belt of his that I kept hidden under my pillow for some reason. At this point I got so frustrated that I picked it up and threw it across the room, completely unaware of the gift that was lying straight at the foot of my bed. I could tell that this wasn't like the usual gifts I got sent, as it wasn't wrapped neatly at all. In fact, it looked like a butcher had attempted to wrap it up himself. I edged my way to it nervously; it was a heavy package indeed so I couldn't help but tremble when I opened it. I instantly unwrapped it and threw it onto the floor, not knowing what to expect…until I felt my heart completely drop to the floor when I saw the book I had been trying to find since I was 14 years old…the book that would have completed my historic collection that would have gone with my literature and militia collections.

I cried. I dropped to the floor and I cried my heart out at the old memories I had before I lost my memories, before my brother and his bets friend had no choice but to turn into enemies for survival…and before I got closer to Seon-Ho in ways that I had never even imagined before.