Chapter 141: Confessions (Gobaeg)

I recognised the embroideries in the marketplace as soon as I set my eyes on them. I had also seen the meeting that took place in the restaurant I was taken to 'as a treat to my hard work'. That itself was a treat, I had never experienced anyone trying to win my favour before. Although this kind of behaviour still repulsed me, but for once I decided to follow in Yeon's childish behaviour and play along. Only women could get away with this kind of behaviour, and it was understandable…it was also a completely new approach that I had never had the chance to experience before. And I liked it. I let everyone around me think I was someone they could bribe since I hadn't stopped hearing about people commenting about my young age, since I was technically the youngest person of my position in the place. Ranks in the palace were usually a very sow process unless it come from the royal family themselves, and that was rare since they barely noticed the people who slaved their entire lives to serve them.

I managed to catch wind of their conversation as I was doing my own work after lunch. I tried to focus on what I was doing but when I finally looked away from her face for a single second and noticed what she was wearing I was completely transfixed…it was like she looked different every single time I saw her…and I liked it. A lot more than I realised…until I noticed that damn near every other man had noticed her as well. Then I started getting angry, to the point where my leg had stated shaking uncontrollably. I remembered when I was going over my own private revenge on her for not trusting me enough and keeping me in the dark so long about the life she lived under my care, I had wild thought that I could use somebody to carry it our for me. But as I looked at everyone's lustful eyes around this 20 year old woman who still looks like she was in her teens, I almost wanted to curse myself for having such an idea. As she left, I noticed a man who looked like he was going to approach her, but before that could happen I signalled over to a gang of street boys to run an errand for me. I waved a little pouch of coins in front of them, and the promoted them to all come running over to me at once, barging into that man and practically knocking that man over. I couldn't help but laugh to myself as I made my way to Yeon's home…which had practically burnt down to ashes. I honestly couldn't make this up as the entire neighbourhood was in complete chaos…and an evil looking maid flocking to my side and pretending to be concerned about me. But I gave her a knowing look…and an evil smile as I had her look for the person who I was supposed to co-operate with in my cases here as requested for temporary accommodation for two people…a married couple in fact.

I then had my people find her and bring her to me under the pretence that someone wanted to harm her when they set fire to her place and that she would only be safe under my protection. I told them to give her a change of clothes that I had been carrying around with me straight after I discovered the fire. I picked out the prettiest outfit that I could find in my favourite colours along with nice shoes to match and accessories. I had never in my life shopped for a woman before, and I guess that I had no idea just exactly how much I was paying attention to her until I looked at this stuff. I chose what I liked in the colours that I wanted to see her in before receiving word that my accommodation had been arranged.

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I looked over at my little home that I had worked so hard on although thankfully I was wise enough to keep my valuables with my brother. As for my new dairy, well I always kept that on my person in case things like this happened, although I had no idea who I had provoked this time. It could be anyone; from the other women I worked with or my new guests. But I had a huge problem; all of my private work had been stored in that room, and now it looked like I had to start all over again. Frustration took over me as I marched into the market and I rebased myself on every single activity that they had displayed on their stalls. From playing games to win prizes or just educational games that challenged the mind, I forgot the fact that I wanted to go into self-isolation as I began to solve possible puzzles, win every game and court even more gossip about me that I already had to put up with since I was an unmarried woman who was living alone and working. This was completely unprecedented in our nation and I was honestly surprised that I hadn't been chased out of the village with pitchforks and burning torches yet. In fact, I was surprised that there were no salacious rumors about me yet…that was until I turned around and ran straight into Seon-Ho of all people who had a stunned look on his face. He was standing so close to me that I almost fell on top of him if he hadn't managed to catch me first in full view of everyone in the market.

I wanted to run and hide in that moment, this was exactly what I was afraid of him seeing; just more reasons why I lied and hid things from him almost the entire time that I knew him. I could see a picture of emotions on his face that I was too scared to interpret so I started walking away, partly hoping that he would be too shocked to continue being around me, but he just followed me instead until I reached the fields and I placed myself under my new favourite tree and I lay down with my hand in the air, trying to catch the stars as if I could. "So you've been hiding more than I originally thought." I couldn't help but tremble at the tone of his voice and I dared not to face him "why are you here? To take your revenge for what I did to your father?" "You read my mind" I didn't like the tone he used and I tried to get up and leave but he just pulled me down and tightened his grip on me so I couldn't fight back. "Explain it to me" he commanded in that tone hat always made my heart flutter and I decided to answer any questions he had for me, I couldn't walk on eggshells around him for the rest of my life. "My father raised me to be more than a meek woman and a mere housewife. But when I had my epilepsy…anyways, we came up with the idea for me to act younger than my age and naive so I could just focus on dealing with my epilepsy. You personally witnessed how much I struggled with it for a decade. If I had carried on with how I am now back then, I would have only worsened my condition. My emotions also triggered my fits…if I had dealt with my problems like how I dealt with your father, then I probably wouldn't have survived at all." I didn't even realise that he was looking at me until I looked over at him. I waited for him to make some disparaging masochistic comments about how girls should just stay home and prepare to be housewives like everybody else…but he didn't. I waited for him to look at me in disgust, but he didn't do that either. "You must have sacrificed a lot" he whispered thoughtfully. "You could have accomplished so much…" "my only focus was my brother who was having to raise his sibling alone. And not just any sibling; one that was of the opposite sex, so he didn't understand me much. He was having a hard time, so I went as far as limiting my needs by acting younger." We just looked at each other as much as we could in the dark, although I couldn't see his face properly I felt a sense of peace and safety around him just like I had always felt around him. That was why I fell for him in the first place. Just that feeling alone reminded me of the desires I once had when he kissed me for the first time and it was all coming back to me. And I waned to give in…but he was an engaged man who was in love with another woman. And that fact pulled me out of my sweet dream that I could have him to myself since he was here in front of me and staying with me.

"Why are you here with me and not with your fiancé? Aren't you married yet? Or are you with Hui-Jee now? Is she taking care of you properly?"

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I could only stare at her in shock when she said that, and finally all the pieces started to fall in place. This was why she had been avoiding me a while before she exposed my father? And why she said what she said when she bathed in that river? Because she thought I was in love who somebody else? Her talk with her brother when they reunited…now it all made sense. Yeon ran away from the village because she was hiding from me? I couldn't believe this brat…as intelligent as she truly was, it now dawned on me how…emotionally vulnerable she was when it came to me. All I could do was look away in shame and humiliation; how on earth could I have missed this? To allow things to come this far? I olden't believe that my mess with women had not only made her stay away from me, but to continuously come up with excuses for her not to be around any man at all, or even wanting to get married for that matter. She hid her capabilities from me because she was in love with me and didn't want me to think badly of her, now she was exposing herself to push me away? I felt sad enough to wallow in the pain I must have caused her, no wonder she did come to me when she bother memories back! Did she really thing that she was going to just leave my life like that and retuned to me how? As if we were brother and sister again? No way, too many things had happened already for us to go back to the way we was before all of this mess started.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even realise that she had gotten up and started walking away from me once again. Now my sadness was turning into anger while I thought about every single excuse I could do to keep her by my side…and implement my own revenge on her. I immediately got up and started following her until I got close enough to grab her her arm and pull her towards me. "What are you doing?" She tried to sound angry but I couldn't help but notice how her voice kept faltering when she looked into my eyes and could tell that I was not in a casual mood. "My maid burnt down your home and your brother isn't here so I am responsible for you once again. I have a temporary accommodation waiting for us both."