Chapter 41

"Pffftt…."

The woman who was putting down my dessert laughed at my untouched dishes that showed no signs of being eaten. She had laughed under her breath in my ear so only I could hear.

Our eyes met. Her eyes were full of ridicule and mirth as if she were dying of joy inside.

"Oh-ho…You want to play do you?"

I quickly dropped the smallest spoon on the floor before she left.

Ka-Clang!— The iron spoon clanged against the marble floor making a clear distinct sound. Everyone in the dining room turned their eyes towards me.

"Oh, sorry. My hand slipped."

"..."

"Will you pick it up for me?"

I blinked at the floor apologetically. Mrs. Donna appeared utterly unfazed at my behavior. Like she was familiar with this treatment, not that she could do anything about it anyway.

"Sure. Don't worry about it, my lady."

If it was Penelope, she probably would have thrown the spoon at Mrs. Donna's head.

'No, I think I will worry about it.'

I asserted myself.

This old woman, I had learned from the butler, had been a regular participant in setting the meals of the Duke when he had Penelope as an uninvited guest. In other words, no one else but her was to blame for this situation.

It's wasn't much of a family dinner when Penelope was left out while 'the family' exchanged pleasant conversation. Rather she was forced into a position where she had to sit quietly while enduring alienation and misery.

However, if the duke had had a problem with the tableware Penelope had been regularly given at the table, he would have made sure she would have never received it again.

Penelope knew this as well. Therefore, she endured her hunger and anger desperately by herself. If they wouldn't even let her have a proper dinner with them, she would never expect to become a proper member of the family.

'But I'm not like her.'

I looked down at Mrs. Donna, whose face was so expressionless that I was almost embarrassed to cause further fuss. Almost.

Ka-Clang!

"Oh, my God! Sorry. I slipped again."

The second smallest spoon fell in front of Mrs. Donna, who was just getting up with the spoon I had dropped.

This thoroughly drew the attention of everyone in the room. The Duke clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry Father. The pudding is so soft that the spoon keeps sliding off."

I replied with a shrug. Derek's cool blue eyes fixed on me. Reynold's as well.

"It's all right, my lady."

Mrs. Donna also picked up the second spoon that I dropped on the ground without complaint.

"Well, the good times are just starting…"

Just at the moment when she was raising herself…

Ka-Clang-lang-lang!

This time I threw the last spoon right on the floor.

"Penelope Eckart."

The Duke's face and voice froze the room in an instant.

"Ha? What are you doing?"

Reynold laughed in disbelief that I could do something so brazen in front of the Duke, and Derek glared at me with a frown on his face. The white numbers above their heads began to flicker.

I got up from my seat, dragging my chair back noisily.

"I'm afraid I can't eat dessert because I don't have any more spoons."

"Sit down!"

"If you're finished with what you want to say, I think I'll return to my room."

The Duke's face slowly filled with anger.

"Do you not understand the importance of having this family luncheon after so long?"

"But I'm so hungry, Father."

I held my hands across my stomach as if famished. My unexpected words raised the eyebrows of the Duke and his sons.

"…What?"

"I'm not good at using tableware that is designed for three years old, so I couldn't eat even a single bite of my meal."

I gave an exaggerated gloomy look as if I was a child pouting for not getting her way. The untouched food that put on the cart had not even cooled yet.

If I go up to the room now I could leave the aftermath to the kitchen staff and get Emily to grab me something to eat. Stupid Penelope in the past would have just starved herself quietly because of these people every time she ate with the Duke.

"Right, ma'am?"

I smiled innocently looking directly at Mrs. Donna.

"Oh, my Lady!"

Her face went from black to white in a matter of moments. It was funny that the previous confidence and ridicule she gave bullying Penelope suddenly vanished into thin air.

A cold silence fell over the dining room. My main dish lay aside with small toy-like utensils and no signs of being touched. The white plate I would have used to eat on if I could have, sat in front of me so clean and without a single sauce residue that no one could have doubted that I had not eaten a thing.

After my revelation it wasn't hard to tell where everyone's eyes were.

"I'm going to go up and ask Emily to get me a sandwich. That at least I can eat with my hands."

"...."

"Enjoy your meal, Father, brothers."

No one tried to stop me from leaving this time. I opened the dining room doors and left the silent room behind me. Once the doors swung closed I suddenly burst out laughing.

"I threatened everyone I'd shoot them with crossbow. Yes, of course I did!…'

Isn't it really funny? Such a wicked woman could run around with a crossbow threatening others but was utterly trapped and unable to do anything in a simple dining room.

But nevertheless, I realized that I should not have laughed at poor Penelope.

Instead, I should be feeling sorry for her who sat there at that table time and time again enduring hunger.

For pity's sake!

Going straight up to my room, I took out the book I was reading from the bookshelf and sat down at my desk. While I had left the dining room declaring my ravenous hunger, I actually wasn't that hungry.

Rather, I was honestly worried that what I had done would affect ML's favorability towards me.

'In the end, I don't think there was any change.'

I was worried because I couldn't check their faces properly as my attention was focused mainly on the Duke and Mrs. Donna.

"Surely I won't lose their favor just by throwing my spoons away."

I hoped so anyway, but soon I decided to not waste time worrying about it.

"Well, what's done is done, I didn't do that much."

I felt relieved by my conclusion, after all as long as their favorability didn't change too much it didn't really matter, after all I had already crossed out their names on my list so I wasn't really trying to raise their favorability anyway.

'As long as it doesn't drastically plunge, I'll be fine.'

I tried hard to focus on the contents of the book to empty the thoughts from my head.

It was that moment.

Knock knock. I heard someone announce herself.

"My Lady, it's me."

"Come in."

Emily gladly showed herself in. Opening the door, she carefully stepped inside, holding a lidded tray.

"Are you reading?"

"What's that?" I asked with a glare.

Emily put down the tray she had brought on the desk and opened the lid. Inside steamed soups, steaks and sandwiches were neatly laid out.

I immediately frowned. These were the same steaks that were part of the main course at the luncheon I had just escaped.

"This is a newly cooked one for you by order of the Duke, my Lady."

Emily had probably already heard the whole story because she looked at me sympathetically and added.

"And this is what the butler told me to bring you….."

A small brown bottle of digestive medicine.

"No thanks. I don't want to eat anymore, so take it out."

Fortunately or unfortunately, I had had nothing to eat, therefore there was nothing to upset my stomach. Emily looked like she was about to cry when I ordered her to take it back.

"I heard you wanted to have sandwiches. You're hungry so hurry up and eat these at least my Lady"

"It's okay. And I ate earlier."

"You haven't had a proper meal all day. So, just a little bit… "

"Not just today, I'm not sure I've ever had a proper meal here."

I threw down the book, scratching my head irritably.

"Was there any food you brought that could be called a proper meal for a noble?"

"Oh, my Lady…"

Emily was at a loss what to do with my awful mood.

I knew it was useless to vent at her. Emily has been good enough for a while now. It is not that I was dissatisfied with meals she managed to scavenge for me, which usually only consisted of one or two dishes and desserts. Because of her efforts I was never starving.

But still in my situation, no, this ridiculous situation that Penelope faced in the past that I now had to deal with, it was so irritating that it was driving me crazy.

"Stop carrying that and go out. I don't really want to see your face right now."

Emily eventually took the tray back with a somber face. I thought I was probably being a bit too harsh on someone who did her best to take care of me, but in my current mood I didn't feel very sorry.

From the moment I left the dining room I was struggling to suppress my rising emotions. I tried to calm down by opening the book again, but soon after, I threw it back down in frustration.

"I'm annoyed."

Getting up from my desk, I went to bed and lay down instead.

I stared up at the luxurious, antique ceiling. Considering the owner of the room couldn't even get a proper meal, but it was kind of funny that she could live in such a luxurious cage.

"…Why the hell was I sent here to go through this shit?"

I couldn't understand it at all.

If it was someone other than me who was possessed by this game, they might have been happy to stay in such a spacious and lavishly decorated room.

But I wasn't particularly impressed with these things. Mainly because my room when I stayed at my parents' house was also luxurious and spacious with the added benefit of modern commodities.

Ironically, living in such a fancy room at my parents, my main concern was whether I would be able to eat the next day.

After the second son of a bitch graduated from school, the bullying at school escalated drastically. It was completely normal for people to cut in line in front of me while I tried to eat my last meal of the day. It was also common to be deliberately hit over my shoulders causing me to spill my plate.

Even if I had starved all day at school, when I got home, I still couldn't eat right away. They of course attended a nice family meal together…without me.

'Where was my pride…?'

I realized how truly foolish I was when I had finally succeeded in escaping that place. I believed that I would be able to find a way to feed myself.ly

Unlike Penelope, who had a maid to scavenge food for her, I didn't have anyone to feed me. I used to leave for work right after finishing cleaning the family's dishes.

Silently I would suffer with an empty stomach and sneak into the kitchen only when the men of the house had finished their meals and left to their respective rooms.

I then put the leftover rice in a bowl and mix it with cold soup or the leftover side dishes then eat it with a large spoon. Often, I could only spit it out without a bite, not being able to eat it at all.

The leftover soup and side dishes tasted terrible, having been mixed with vinegar, sugar, salt, salted fish, and sometimes unknown things.

It was the doing of the second son of a bitch.

-"Beggar! Why are you sneaking around like a rat?"

He sometimes hid and watched me try to eat his hideous creations, and then giggled at my suffering. So, I had to suffer from malnutrition and chronic gastritis until I escaped from that damn place.

~~~~~