Despair Part 3

The path to that mountain was difficult either, but there must have been a way to get there. My lips opened as a thought crossed the mind. Right, I had no experience trekking beyond the forest and lacked the physical prowess to think of going up the mountain by myself.

Joel was likely to laugh at the idea of me going up there. Still, had I any choice? It was the only clue I had and not a good clue either, as my mind swirled around the possibilities.

I sat in my bed re-reading Crow's words. I was as hopeful as I was despondent. Sure, Crow and I had a lot in common. But there was the very specific detail of someone's daughter being in love with Crow.

In that, we were two different people. There was no one's toes I could have stepped on regarding love, so who would have singled me out for a spell to curse me? And since there was that difference, would going to that mountain even make a difference in my case since it was a completely different situation?

It didn't make sense to me why I cursed. Who would do that? I became suspicious of the surrounding people, but didn't think any of them disliked me enough to place a curse on me. I couldn't see any of them doing that.

Was it generational? I mean, sure, blood did not relate to us, but maybe we were pulled together by the universe because of a commonness in curses?

Also, a thought came to mind. How would I die? My death was secured, but how? The method could have been anything. It reminded me of my parents.

Were they also cursed? Now I was starting to see where Annie was coming from. Could it be that this curse claimed our parents' lives and just manifested differently in me? What does that mean for the rest of our bloodline?

That was a terrible thought. I looked up at the roof and wondered how I was going to deal with my death when it came. I still had not wanted to die. A way had to be around for me to use.

Sitting around here would not help, I think. Looking at the book, I was sure he stopped writing, because he died. So, there was no escape either way I took it.

That sent my body lurching forward with heaves of short breaths as I considered the futility of it all. I could not stop that curse's aim. There had to be more answers, right?

Yet all of them led to my demise. It was depressing.

I didn't know what I was going on about. Honestly, I was just trying to distract, disillusion, fantasize myself out of the fact that I was going to die soon.

What hope I clung on to was fleeting. Sitting with that knowing of death approaching felt like dying itself. I was struggling to breathe just thinking about it.

I supposed that this diary and this place gave my mind a happier, more promising place to go to and anywhere was better than here, in my mind, where I dwelled in this moment.

That mountain would have been a nice place to go to. It was definitely better than this boring room I sat in. I thought of the mountain he saw, the water, what life if any existed in that place?

Could there be any exotic fruits? Fruits I had not tasted before. Maybe I'd go there and there'd be fairies. Hell, if I saw fairies, I'd probably actually be dead. I wondered about what happened on that mountain; I heard background symphonies playing in my head, topped off by the growling in my stomach. I swayed to the sound as I tasted the imagined fruit right now.

I wondered what the water tasted like. Was the weather different there? I asked myself, knowing full well that being so close to us; the weather was the same, but reality was too much to bear right now so I didn't want to be realistic.

Enjoying my mind and its ability to save me from boredom at that moment, I allowed it to dream up all possibilities of this magical place. It was the only hope I had. It held my future in its hands.

I held that picture in my mind. The daunting seconds passed me by and that in itself was a miracle.

I wondered about my sister. "If there is a familial curse, could it be passed down to her?" I asked, in growing dismay. My eyes squinted in dismay.

A terrible gut wrenching pulls at my chest congealed my sense of will. Why was fate so cruel to our family? I hated it.

I sighed and hoped she would not be under the power of this curse. I hated the idea of it continuing further beyond this moment, beyond me.

Yes, I had to find answers for both of us, not just me. If I found the cure, or maybe a way to stop this curse from continuing, I could at least save my sister.

Being the hero was never something I figured myself as it never came to be that I was going to do much other than learn to be a hunter and farmer in the future.

Now, I had none. I was a dead man. Was this the full extent of my life? To die a nameless child who has achieved little beyond the space of his home?

It was disappointing. If I was a hero, a skilled hunter, I saw the smiles on everyone's faces and their congratulations. The shock that would have been on Joel's face when he realized I was actually good at something. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

Good old Joel. He probably wouldn't miss me, but surely, he'd miss my sister. Knowing Joel, he'd probably still try to discredit me anyway, saying none of it was real and Grandma gave us a scare for no reason, because she was old and her memories couldn't be trusted.

I blinked and felt the creeping pull of my body losing rigidness. A yawn escaped my widened mouth.

"I hate this…" flowed off my chipped lips.

My body called for slumber. I wanted to fight it. Death was on my doorstep. Every moment mattered, yet my body won out as I twirled into a prone position and nodded off to sleep.