A surprising encounter

The following months had been surprisingly peaceful.

Thor had of course tried to talk to me a few times when he saw Austri and I walking down the halls, but he had always been interrupted by my trusted guard. There had been a single incident where Thor had had enough and tried his best to go through Austri, but it only resulted in him getting tackled and landing on the floor with a loud thump.

The look on my alleged husband's face when Austri managed to throw him to the ground was priceless, to say the least.

Of course, Thor had tried to convince Odin that it was unnecessary for us to live in separate chambers, that it was an embarrassment to the royal family that he was denied time with his wife, and that it would ruin not only his own reputation but Odin's as well. 

Trying to scare Odin by calling him an old man and telling him how soft he had gotten had proven to be anything but effective. My husband had to face the consequences and was forced to spend 5 days in the royal cell that had been designed years ago when the young princes' would cause trouble.

Thor deserved this treatment after putting me through hell. It was rewarding yet it didn't quite make up for the sorrow I had been through.

It took some time to get rid of my drinking habit, to the point where Austri had to stay in my chambers and keep an eye on me so I wouldn't fall into my former destructive pattern, but it proved to be effective.

I didn't feel happy, but I no longer cried myself to sleep. That also meant that Loki no longer visited me, considering me being sober at all hours of the day. It was definitely the worst part about Austri staying in my chambers.

People had of course begun talking, spreading rumors as one does.

Some of the servants had deemed me a gold digger, and others saw me as a common slut, with Austri staying in my chambers and all, but they didn't know my background, so to me, these names were desperate cries for attention. Attention I wouldn't give them.

This morning was like any other.

Austri was sitting in his chair, obviously asleep. The snoring was as loud as ever, it was honestly impressive that I hadn't woken up during the night or had a maid check up on us considering the noise.

I got out of bed, I didn't need to wake my friend up yet, I had a few hours of free time before meeting with the all-father later that day.

Walking towards the bathroom, my eyes scanned the room. The dark-green color was still dominating in my chambers, but I had refused to change a single thing. This was still Loki's room as well, it was our home, despite him being gone.

The books I had read were scattered around on the floor, the piles getting smaller the further I wandered from my bed until I reached the bathroom.

There was a particular book next to my bath, it was part of my newest obsession; treatment of frostbite after a collision with a frost giant.

I was determined to find a cure or rather a way to fix myself, after that dreadful night. My dark blue skin was a constant reminder of what I had lost that night Thor returned. It was actually the reason the all-father had asked me to meet him later that day.

Looking in the mirror, I began undressing, the green fabric falling off of my body. I was left standing nude, my reflection seeming like a fraud. This was not how I looked like, not anymore.

I closed my eyes, letting go of the spell that I kept repeating in my head whenever I was out in public. The fear of my people viewing me as a monster reappeared whenever someone looked at me, talked to me, or even stood within 12 feet of me.

This was truly a curse I could never escape.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and a familiar voice spoke.

"(Y/N), are you okay in there?" Austri asked.

I must have woken him up, despite my efforts to be as stealthy as possible, but he was a royal guard, of course. He was trained to be on high alert at all times.

"I'm fine, Austri. I was simply about to take a bath. I hope I didn't wake you up in the process," I half shouted.

There was silence for a bit. It almost seemed like Austri didn't believe what I was saying, maybe he thought I was trying to drown myself or take my own life in another way.

"Would you like me to inform the cook you'll be eating breakfast with the rest of the royal family?" he then asked.

"Is he going to be there?" I asked.

I tried my best to skip any meal Thor attended. Whenever we were in the same room my blood began boiling and anybody who dined with us could sense the tension in the air. I tried being civil, but the more I had to endure his presence, the harder it became to be around him.

"No, Thor is currently on Midgard. The all-father claimed he had some important business to attend with a group of midgardians referring to themselves as earth's mightiest heroes"

I sighed in relief. Thor had spent a lot of time on Midgard lately, it was becoming quite normal that he would leave without informing anybody but his father and his absence allowed me to feel safer, it allowed me to breathe.

"You may tell them that I will be there, thank you Austri."

"I'll go inform the cook immediately," Austri said.

I heard footsteps walking away from my bathroom door, then, the front door opening and then closing again. I was finally alone.

I went to turn on the water, the steam quickly filling the room. It wasn't long before the person in the mirror disappeared, and I felt like I was truly by myself. No horrifying woman with marks covering her neck that I needed to worry about.

My toe dipped into the warm water, the feeling sent pleasant shivers down my spine as I sunk further into the pine-scented water. The scent made me think of Loki, and that was the primary reason I used it.

My bottom made contact with the now warm marble that the bath was made of, the water reached just above my breast as I settled in. I hummed in approval before reaching for my book. I had no time to relax, studying the cold-hearted creatures was on my mind constantly, and I needed answers.

After about 20 minutes of reading, I felt a presence in the room.

I didn't think anything of it at first, my senses had been off since I almost drank myself to death and tried to commit suicide, but at some point, the urge to get out of the bath got the best of me.

I wrapped the dark-green towel around my body, for some reason trying to cover myself, despite no one being in the bathroom with me.

My feet walked across the cold marble floor towards the door, thinking someone had entered my chambers and was waiting for me on the other side. It wasn't Austri, I knew as much, he would have announced himself.

I held my breath, trying to make as little noise as possible in case there was an intruder, and my mind instantly recalled the night Loki died. I was on high alert and the spell covering my mark surfaced in my mind, just like it did in public.

"You seem distressed," I heard a voice say from behind me.

I turned in a panic, not seeing anybody in the bathroom at first. I looked towards the end of the room where the bathtub was located, but there was no one to be found.

"It wasn't my intention to scare you, darling," the voice said.

That nickname. It was the one Loki had given me and the word itself almost made me tear up.

"L-Loki?" I asked, looking around the room frantically.

My mind was playing tricks on me, but I had to be sure he wasn't actually here. I needed to know I had lost my mind before I jeopardized anything.

"I've missed you," the painfully familiar voice said.

I had gone completely insane. Even while sober I had these crazy visions and hallucinations. He wasn't actually here, I knew it, yet I couldn't help but shed a tear.

"I've missed you too," I confessed. "And I still do."

"Look at me, darling," he softly commanded.

As if I had known where he was hiding all along, I automatically turned to the mirror my back had previously been turned to. There he was, as handsome as the last time I had seen him.

His black hair wasn't as neat or greasy as it had been while he was still alive, and his beautiful face, even with its soft expression that seemed to reflect nothing but admiration, seemed to have aged. Loki seemed tired, exhausted even, but he was still the same man I had kissed goodbye without even knowing it.

I took a step forward, getting a better look at him. Loki had changed quite a bit, it was noticeable, but from far away I wouldn't have been able to spot the major difference.

His eyes.

The blue orbs made the tears I had so far held back stream down my face. He had been gone for about half a year, yet I seemed to forget the smaller details already. I knew his eyes were green, I had admired them for years, yet, they appeared crystal blue.

"What troubles you, darling?" the man in the mirror asked me.

His face, which had beamed with love and affection only seconds ago, turned into the one of a worried man. It reminded me of how Austri looked at me after trying to kill myself.

"Your eyes, Loki."

He didn't seem to understand at first, so I had to explain everything to him.

"I know your eyes used to be green, but I look at you, and they appear blue. This is my mind playing tricks on me, there is no other explanation, so if you seem different in any way, it must mean I am starting to forget you," I said, barely making any sound.

He seemed sad because of my words. Had I hurt him? Had I managed to hurt an illusion made by my own mind?

"Times are tough, darling. I have made some choices I am not proud of, I will admit such, but I promise you, no matter the color of my eyes, I find you as beautiful as the day mother told me I was allowed to court you," he said, the blue orbs once again becoming soft and full of love.

I was lost for words.

He had only made my emotions, those I had finally managed to bottle down, flood to the surface, and I was once again hit with the same numbing feeling I had felt when connecting with the fine Asgardian grapes in those green bottles.

"I will admit, the castle seems empty without you lingering in the halls, waiting for me. The library has pretty much been untouched since the day you died," I said, trying to smile a bit but at the same time making a mental note to visit the library later in the day.

"It was one of my favorite hobbies," he said with a subtle smile. "Seeing you knock Thor down while sparring as young children will however be a sacred memory of mine for the rest of eternity."

We both shared a subtle laugh. It felt good to feel anything but despair, and truth be told, it had been all too long since I had felt just a tiny spark of joy within me.

"Are you still living in my chambers?" he then asked with a cheeky smile.

I simply rolled my eyes at the question.

"Where else in all the nine realms would I stay, Loki?" I asked sarcastically.

"I thought Odin would have forced you to live with my oaf of a brother and try for another heir by now."

He really thought so? But, he was a figment of my imagination, he would know of everything that happened, so why ask?

"Odin was the one who insisted that Thor is kept away from me, but only after Austri kicked in the door to the throne room and threatened to quit if I wasn't treated with respect," I began trailing off as if he didn't already know of this.

"Odin insisted that you get your own chambers? Norns, he is a completely different man it seems," he said, shock painted all over his face.

I simply just shrugged at first but felt the need to talk. I did not like the silence one bit.

"Odin seemed to understand the seriousness of the situation after Austri informed him of my attempt..." I said, looking away from Loki's curious eyes.

"Attempt?" he asked

I was about to tell him all about my suicide attempt before another familiar voice spoke from the other side of the door.

"(Y/N), is everything alright in there? I informed the cook you'll be dining with the rest of the royal family, and breakfast will be ready in about 20 minutes," Austri halfway shouted from the other side of the door.

Loki's smile faded at the sound of another man. Even in death, he could be possessive and jealous it seemed.

"Are you courting a common guard?" he asked.

I laughed at first, thinking he was joking. He knew Austri, and how we had been friends for years, so he wouldn't seriously think that I would choose Austri over him, despite only one of them belonging to the realm of the living.

"No, Loki, Austri is the guard making sure Thor gets put in his place, he even tackled that piece of shit a few weeks ago, I wish you had seen it." Loki didn't seem convinced. "He is also helping me with my alcohol use. I cannot drink in my chambers when he is here, he won't physically allow it."

He could tell by my soft smile and calm eyes that I was telling the truth, he was the god of mischief, after all, a walking lie detector if you could call him that.

"I love you," Loki said before disappearing into thin air.

I shredded a final tear, sad that I didn't get to say those three words back before Austri called my name again.

"Everything as it should be, (Y/N)?" he asked,

"Yes Austri, everything is fine. I'll be ready in 15 minutes, I promise," I said, shaking the large amount of feelings Loki had felt stirred up inside of me.