ATMOSPHERE [10]

Regressor's Instruction Manual Episode 959

Atmosphere (10)

The words tossed carelessly in a meaningless argument were aimed at winning, perhaps trying to prevail in a pointless debate.

Did those expedition members who toiled and sweated impress him that much?

I hadn't thought that he would be so engrossed in my statement about everyone gathering for the sake of the continent.

If he really feels that way...

'It might appear like a fascinating spectacle.'

Living a life dedicated to the continent's cause might be something incomprehensible to him.

The absurdity lies in the fact that this brat has already sacrificed everything to save the continent.

"Hyun-Sung is already a hero who saved the continent..."

"It wasn't my intention. The circumstances just led me to that. To be honest, this expedition, and the people gathered here... everything feels meaningless."

Even if it was only slightly, he seemed to be harboring fear.

Could it be that my words were unnecessary? He's worried that I might feel disdainful towards him for bringing up such thoughts, given my status as the Saint of Light.

Admitting that one might be a broken individual is not an easy task. Especially when it comes to someone bound by a brotherly connection.

'He did have subtle self-esteem issues to begin with.'

Kim Hyun-Sung wasn't confident about himself. There were times when he acted as if nothing was wrong, but there were also instances where he distanced himself when I, the Blue Guild, took a stance that didn't suit him.

The first return had worn down his personality more than anyone else's. He felt it keenly, and even in mundane daily life, he felt a sense of alienation.

It was a common scenario. It was akin to soldiers returning from war struggling to adapt to life.

In Kim Hyun-Sung's case, it was probably even more severe. He had spent most of his life on the battlefield.

He found social gatherings and interacting with people burdensome, often retreating a step when others approached, observing from a distance. Although there were moments when he made an effort to blend in, he usually couldn't.

The only place Kim Hyun-Sung could be comfortable was the Blue Guild, and the only people he felt at ease with were the Saint of Light and guild members.

'That's why he clings to this sense of brotherhood...'

Because it might be the only time he can feel human.

That's probably why he's worried.

'Fear of being discovered.'

Fear of realizing that he can't blend in.

Even at this point when everything is over, he's still struggling to adapt.

'It's a matter that I've been postponing...'

I didn't consider it a bad situation. Strictly speaking, Kim Hyun-Sung is a mental patient...

'I might have been too oblivious to it.'

He needed care.

I had thought that time would solve everything. Wasn't he genuinely happy when he said he would open a bag festival?

But looking back, Kim Hyun-Sung had never done anything for himself.

He often observed from a distance, smiling and chatting at the festival, but he was vigilant when bringing in a strange bag, checking people's reactions.

When the two of us were together, we'd talk like ordinary people, but when others joined, he would take a step back and observe the situation.

When the Blue Guild members laughed and chatted, he'd glance at them, sometimes joining in, as if he was verifying whether he truly belonged in this group.

'The more I think about it...'

The more it seems like...

It seems that his mental condition might have been more serious than I thought.

'Perhaps he likes riding griffons because he has nothing else around.'

When he's soaring through the sky, he feels as if nothing restrains him. When planning a riding schedule, it's usually just the two of us going out, so where else could we find better conditions?

At that moment, he's free from societal norms, typical human relationships, and oppression. It's a moment of liberation, a time when he doesn't have to blend into everyday life.

In the sky, nothing confines him. Flying on griffons gives him a sense of boundless freedom.

The influence of the Sunset Show with the Saint cannot be denied, but from the perspective of the psychoanalyst Lee Ki-Young, the sky is an escape route for this kid.

One positive aspect is that he spoke first. Of course, his question was whether he seemed like a selfish person, but if we consider that Kim Hyun-Sung's subconscious was sending distress signals, it makes it much easier to assess these events.

"Perhaps I think everyone is somewhat similar to Hyun-Sung."

"Yes... but..."

'Right. I did say that everyone gathered for the continent.'

"Shall we move for a moment?"

"Yes."

I picked up my mug and stood up. Kim Hyun-Sung also picked up his mug and awkwardly stood up. Even as we walked quietly, his thoughts seemed jumbled.

These unnecessary worries that he might have spoken out for no reason. Even amidst these thoughts, I continued walking without saying a word, and eventually, we reached our destination.

"How's your duty going?"

"Greetings, Commander. And also greetings to the Blue Guild Master."

The place we arrived at was a small outpost where sentinels were on duty.

"Where are you from?"

"Lindel Clan Union, Choi Ju-Hee."

"Likewise, Lindel Clan Union, Jung Hye-Min."

Unfortunately, I didn't recognize any faces.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"We're on duty! It's fine!"

Choi Ju-Hee shouted.

'No, I'm not trying to test you. You don't have to be so rigid.'

"May we have a moment to talk with the expedition members?"

'You're really not going to talk to me?'

"But currently..."

'You won't really refuse to talk?'

There's no one who would refuse an honorific greeting and conversation. Perhaps they were also looking for a pleasant diversion from their monotonous duties.

Eventually, after being unable to win, Jeon Hye-Min started speaking.

"I'll carry out the mission as you wish."

It was a well-timed diversion.

"Sorry for the abrupt question, but may I ask something a bit odd?"

"Yes."

"Could you share why each of you decided to join the expedition?"

Chances are high they joined due to my recommendation. However, no one would openly admit that. No one would say to the Light Saint, "It wasn't my intention! I had no choice but to join since you mentioned it!" There would likely be no one who could make such a statement.

There could be personal reasons. But they wouldn't be able to say, "I needed money! I wanted to get items." If they were normal.

As luck would have it, both of them began to hesitate, struggling to find an answer.

It felt like they were silently urging each other to speak first.

Jeon Hye-Min was the first to speak up.

"To be honest, I'm a fan of Sir Honorary Cardinal... a fan! That's why!!"

'No, don't say that. I wasn't waiting for that answer.'

Quick-witted Private Choi Ju-Hee tapped Jeon Hye-Min's side and started talking hurriedly.

"To protect my beloved husband!"

It was a perfectly fitting model answer.

"My husband is in a non-combat position! I thought that the escalating anomalies on the continent might eventually affect my husband too. That's all."

The urgent tone of Jeon Hye-Min's voice was also audible.

"Because I wanted to protect my friends!"

Whether it was sincere or not, some might have held such sentiments.

I turned my head and spoke once again.

"Hyun-Sung, could you share why you decided to join the expedition?"

"Yes?"

"...."

"To... to protect Ki-Young."

See? They're not much different from you.

Talk of protecting the continent, fighting for justice – it's all veiled talk. In reality, such lofty ideals often disguise much simpler motivations.

There's no one like that. It's human nature to protect the things closest to us, from the nearest.

"Look. Hyun-Sung also fighting for others? Fighting for the continent was the essence of that."

"...."

"Protecting loved ones, their living spaces, that's fighting for the continent itself. While each person may treasure different things, we all live together as a community."

Fighting for Ki-Young is the same as fighting for the continent. Since Ki-Young is synonymous the fucking Continent.

"Actually, I think people with grand ambitions or lofty goals are rarer."

"...."

"Hyun-Sung is not a selfish person. To me, you appear more altruistic than anyone else."

This person is always sacrificing for me. He truly embodies altruism.

I gave a slight nod of acknowledgement to the sentinels who were standing still and looking at us. A gesture of gratitude for accommodating us.

Then, to convey that the previous conversation should remain a secret to others, I placed a finger against my lips.

As they nodded in response, I smiled slightly, unsure of where to direct my gaze as both of them seemed a bit overwhelmed.

"Did you suddenly have an odd thought?"

"Yes? I..."

"I've never thought of Hyun-Sung as a selfish person. From the tutorial onwards. If he were an ordinary person, he would have run away after the second round started. He would have been scared and fled immediately. But Mr. Hyun-Sung didn't run away."

Of course, he did escape quite a few times in between. Every time Kim Hyun-Sung escaped, it was my job to capture him again.

Even 22-year-old Kim Hyun-Sung had a knack for running away. However...

"I remember him fighting through to the end, facing the situation he was given."

In the end, didn't we meet as a result?

In the end, Kim Hyun-Sung never avoided the situations he was presented with.

'That will become your pride.'

Even if you flee, even if you avoid, in the end, you faced it and fought through it. That will become your pride.

This pride will be of help to Kim Hyun-Sung.

"Actually..."

"Yes?"

"Actually, I knew that Hyun-Sung wouldn't adapt well to the new continent."

'You, not fitting into society, your older brother noticed.'

"I knew that you thought it didn't suit you. Perhaps you asked me such questions because you wanted confirmation...?"

"....."

"I think Hyun-Sung is a strong person. Always someone who perseveres."

'Overcoming nightmares with determination, overcoming mental illness with determination. You know? The Light Saint isn't interested in losers.'

"That's because Ki-Young was by my side..."

It's not about telling you to always overcome.

"I'm still by your side, Hyun-Sung."

I reassured him that I'll always be by his side, supporting him. Although, I don't believe this will be resolved in the short term. Kim Hyun-Sung's situation was more serious than the others.

But as always, I believed he wouldn't avoid it.

Instead of stepping back silently, he'll move forward and make his stand. He might try to push away the anxiety caused by nightmares instead of succumbing to it.

"I see..."

Whether it helped or not, Kim Hyun-Sung smiled.

And then, gradually, morning began to dawn. Since we were in a dungeon, we couldn't see the sky, but...

With the sound of wings fluttering, Kim Hyun-Sung spread his wings, coming into view.

In an instant, his sunset-like radiance illuminated the dungeon. It felt like watching a sunrise.

'The atmosphere feels really nice.'

"I think I can overcome this."

For some reason, it felt like a flag had been raised, maybe due to my mood.

Suddenly, I feel like I can't overcome it... After such a heartwarming moment, something bad is bound to happen...'

"I won't disappoint you."

For some reason, it felt like something disappointing was going to happen.

'Don't say anything more.'

"I'll take one step forward... and move on."

----

When Ki-young has a bad premonition, I'm beginning to have them too....

THE END OF THE ATMOSPHERE ARC.