Getting Married

"W-what did you say?" Cynane asks in disbelief. She must have heard it wrong. There is no way he is really thinking of getting married soon.

Michal lifts one of his eyebrows, assuming that Cynane is only pretending to not understand what he said so she could annoy him back.

"I said I want to get married soon. I think I'm ready for it," Michal answers calmly to Cynane and she is left speechless for a moment.

It's taking every ounce of Cynane's strength to control her emotions and to stop herself from crying in front of Michal, yet the man in front of her does not seem to be fazed at all, not even in the slightest. It looks like delivering such a news to Cynane is just a mundane thing for him to do.

'He doesn't care. He just simply does not care about me. He has really never seen me as a woman. Does he? I know that and I've long accepted that, but why does it still hurt?' Cynane thinks to herself.

All the feelings and emotions that she had tried so hard to burry all this time came rushing back to her like a violent wave of the sea. She promised that she'll forget about her feelings for him. She told herself that it's alright, that she had already accepted the fact that he cannot reciprocate her love for him. Yet just one word from Michal about getting married is enough to crush her walls. All the things that she had told herself; all the promises she made quickly disappear.

Perhaps, she has deluded herself to believe that she was okay when in fact she was really not and is still not. She is not fine at all. She is hurt, more than she has ever been hurt before. This even hurts more than that time she broke her leg during her training days at the camp or when she injured her shoulder after falling off of a tree.

She realizes the truth: she still loves Michal deeply. She does not want Michal to get married with someone else. She wants him for herself. But she cannot tell him that. After all, she already knows that he does not love her.

She may have caught the hearts of many Macedeans tonight, however, she has failed to catch the heart of the only man she has ever loved. Somehow, she feels so defeated and hopeless.

"Hey, say something. Don't tell me you're already thinking of ways on how you'll humiliate me on my wedding day?" Michal jests. However, Cynane is not in the mood for jokes right now.

"Who is it? Who is the woman?" she almost does not want to ask the question as she fears her assumption may turn out to be correct. She thinks that the woman whom Michal wants to marry is Duke Vasil's sister, Lady Mileva.

As Cynane thinks about it, the way Michal and Mileva acted and treated each other tonight makes more sense now. It's because something is actually going on between the two of them.

'How can I be so foolish not to realize that?' Cynane thinks to herself.

Michal shakes his head.

"There is no one yet. I am actually still looking for a wife."

Hearing Michal's response suddenly gives her a tiny glimmer of hope. 'Does this mean, he's going to officially announce to the entire kingdom that he's looking for a wife?'

The realization makes her more fearful as she realizes that hundreds of women in the kingdom shall surely fight over Michal. Cynane herself is fully aware of how attractive Michal is.

A lot of women like tall guys, and Michal is the exact definition of someone who is tall. He six feet and three inches tall - exactly a foot taller than Cynane. He is also well-built. He is very strong. Cynane knows that because she has sparred with him since they were young. He has a well-defined jaw, a perfect pointed nose, deep blue eyes, and the most attractive thing about him, at least for Cynane, is his silky silver hair - a unique trait that can only be seen from the bloodline of Maksims - one of the most famous families of the kingdom. In addition to that he is a general of the kingdom. That title alone is enough to attract female candidates all around Macedea.

"Have you told my brother yet?"

"No, I haven't told him yet. It hasn't been long since I have decided about this actually. My cousin and I talked a few days ago and he happened to bring the topic of marriage in our conversation. He was the one who convinced me that it's about time for me to get married."

'Joram...that traitor!' Cynane exclaims in her head.

Joram, Michal and Cynane basically grew up together. Joram's father, the Duke Piere Vernan and also a former general was their teacher after all. He taught and trained the three of them how to fight and to wield a sword. He was considered to be the best swordsman of the kingdom during his time.

Joram was always the nicer and kinder one to Cynane. Michal on the other hand was always very mean to her - calling her names, teasing and annoying her whenever he had the chance to. So, it really makes Cynane feel betrayed to find out that Joram is the one who basically pushed Michal to get married. She has always thought that Joram is on her side.

However, she realizes that she cannot really blame Joram. He's not aware of her feelings for Michal after all. It is only Cynane and her brother who know about her secret love for Michal.

"So, what's your plan then?"

"I've decided to formally inform the king about it tomorrow. Surely, he would be glad if he hears the news, and I assume he'll quickly send the word that I am looking for a wife to all the aristocrats all over the kingdom. That will make the searching easier and faster. Don't you think?"

Cynane is very certain that her brother will not be joyful when he finds out about Michal's plan. Her brother will surely be grieved because he knows that it is going to hurt his sister. Yet at the same, she knows that he is not that selfish and biased. As much as he wants Michal to marry his sister, he knows that it is not right for him to use his position to push Michal to Cynane. Her brother can easily fix an arranged marriage between the two if he wants to, but he just won't do that, and Cynane does not want that either. It would just make her more pathetic than she already thinks she is. There is no point in marrying Michal if he does not love her. It will just be a pure political and loveless relationship, and Cynane knows herself very well that she won't be able to handle something like that.

The fact that Michal is very willing and enthusiastic to announce to the entire kingdom that he is looking for a wife very well means that he is not marrying for love. It's more on out of necessity. Anyone will do obviously, as long as it's someone with beauty and high standing.

Cynane realizes to herself that she is wasting her heart for such a cold-hearted man. Michal never really cared about romance and love. Michal does not deserve her love and tears. It hurts now, and it may hurt for years, but she is hopeful to herself that she will find someone better in the future - someone who genuinely deserves her.

Letting out a low sigh, she finally replies. "Well, let me help you too then. I have many connections too. In fact, I know more single ladies in the kingdom than my brother. That will make things faster. We might annoy each other all the time, but remember, we're still friends, I'm here to help." Cynane flashes a forced smile as an attempt to conceal her true feelings.

Michal does not speak for a split second. He stares at Cynane with an indescribable look on his eyes. She cannot grasp the meaning behind those blue eyes. Perhaps he thinks she is cheesy for saying those things. Who knows.

"Okay then, that would be perfect. I am grateful for your help," he suddenly replies, crushing more Cynane's already broken heart.