your grandma chews at her tongue for a moment as she thinks how to reply. You get the feeling she was anticipating that question.
"I suppose I don't really know," she says at last with a sigh. "I know it isn't fair. And I know it sounds like nonsense, to say that I think it's safer not to tell you. But I'm afraid that's the decision I've made, Huknock, and not lightly. Maybe, in the future, I will decide it would be safe enough; but for now, I think it's better that as few people know as possible. If I could even make myself forget, then I would."
There's something almost chilling about the way she says that last sentence. As silence falls again, you're left wondering what this secret could possibly be, and how your grandma could have discovered it, only to wish she never had.
Something churns in your gut as you look at your grandma. Fear; anger; sadness; you're not sure. The worry that she might not totally trust you—or that you might not totally trust her—is not something you ever expected to feel. You don't think your relationship has ever felt this complicated, this confused.
You suppose that everything you're feeling now will take some time to really figure out. Maybe there will be even more you will need to try and process in the future. You think this must be one of those things that happens to everyone as they grow up; you learn new things abuot people you thought you knew, and suddenly everything seems different. You're not quite sure how to feel about that, or where to go from here. But you know there must be a way. It might just take time; and maybe somebody else to talk to.
Sitting on your grandma's shoulder, Carys shakes our her wings before closing her eyes. Your grandma gently strokes the crow's back; and then, sniffing slightly, she turns back to you with the beginnings of a hopeful smile.
"For what it's worth—I'm quite optimistic that this new way of storing our magic should provide a lot of benefits in the long run. Of course, that's provided I keep an eye on the system, and make sure it's maintained; but now that we've made that initial transfer, I think it should be a lot easier to upgrade the system in future if necessary. My computers aren't exactly state of the art, after all. But, you know—even with the chance that certain side-effects might have been noticed—I'm starting to think that this could be a very positive thing indeed. Not just for the security of our magic, but…well, ever since the transfer was made, I've found that I have a clearer connection to our magic than ever. Have you felt the same?"
You don't have to think long before you agree. Your easy rejuvenation of that plant in the hallway was one of the first times you really noticed the difference—but ever since you put the plan into action, casting magic has seemed almost effortless at times.
"Ah—so it wasn't just me," your grandma says with a nod. "I have to admit I wasn't expecting that result, but to me, it just goes to show how much more efficient this computer storage is as opposed to the magic's original source. And—well, I've begun to remember all of the ideas I was starting to have back before we first moved to the forest. I was just beginning to theorize how digital technology could work with magic, and even my early tests were so exciting to me that I could hardly stop myself from learning everything about computers that I could find. And now that technology has advanced so much more—I just can't even begin to think what might be possible with this digital magic. And we have it all to ourselves. You know, Huknock, I'm seriously starting to…"
All at once she trails off, her gaze caught somewhere beyond the house's walls. For a few, long moments, she seems to forget you're there entirely.
"…Wonder," she murmurs eventually to herself. On her lap, her fingers curl; almost as if they were already hovering over a keyboard.
"Wonder what?" you ask. Blinking slowly, your grandma turns her eyes on you—and then with a short breath she seems to come back to the present.
"Oh—well, I'm not too sure just yet," she replies in a slight rush. "Just ideas; theoretical plans. But you know—I might start to spend a little more time working with my computers from now. There are a few things I think I'd like to try out."
your grandma smiles again, and with that the conversation moves somewhere else. As the evening goes on, however, you notice a few more times how your grandma occasionally glances down at her hands, thinking to herself in quiet concentration. Each time she does, you think back to that strange moment's pause again—and some of your grandma's excited words come back to you again.
"I just can't even begin to think what might be possible with this digital magic. And we have it all to ourselves."
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