Chapter Fourteen
I spun out of the darkness into utter madness. Enormous beams of light twirled around my spinning form, piercing through my body, intertwining my soul. My eyes lit from Enormous balls of fire. Twisted through time and space, I flew seemingly through an ever shrinking tunnel. My arms and legs flailed. My heart reached my throat.
Around and around they swirled. White, blue, orange and red, balls of fire streaked on by. Their intensity lit my skin a blaze. I spasmed and spun violently in complete absence of sound. Faster and faster They flew. The passage was ever narrowing and swirling. Its translucent blackness was dotted with light specks of color.
I spun even faster. All around me became a blur. The walls shrank around me. At the end of the unending passage a clear white light shined. Growing every second it reached out ever greater. I tumbled head first toward it. It yearned for me. It stretched out for my face and eyes. It reached me and smothered me completely.
My mouth opened and I screamed…
***
The sound of rushing air reached my ears.
It blasted into my face, my eyes and gums.
My arms stretched out. The wind roared over me, enveloping me.
Falling…falling
The sliver gray vastness of desert appeared below.
Falling…falling
My eyes squinted. Wind blew up my nose.
The desert surged up and up, toward me.
My body braced for the inevitable.
I smacked into a wall of sand and rolled.
Tumbling Tumbling. Limbs flailing. End over end. Black. Gray. Black. Head, shoulders taking beating. Black. Gray. Blue. Arms flung about. Knees, back, elbows. Blurred Specks. Black. Gray. Black. Gray. The rolling slowed. Black, gray specks, horizon. The momentum slowed as it carried me. Horizon, gray sand, dark sky, Body Slowing. horizon, sand. Horizon. Black.
I flopped head first into a soft mound of sand, cool to the touch.
"pppFFFFTT!"
I pulled myself from the soft sand. Bits of grains expelled from my lips. Some clung to my cheeks and chin.
More spitting. Two fingers scraped inside my mouth along my gums to expel the foreign invaders. Fingers out, I gagged and heaved. A huge ball of spit hurled from my lips and splattered on the sand like chewing tobacco spit. Tasted like horse shit.
"Elly, I swear, you're going to be the death of me. I know it."
My fingers grasped the smooth grains beneath. Sand, cool to the touch. Desert aroma tingled my nose.
"I never want to ride again."
The glob of spit ran downhill toward my hands.
"...Elly?"
There was no reply.
Annoyed, I looked up. There was no sign of Elly.
"What…da…hell?"
Sand, oh glorious sand laid as far and wide as far as the eye could see.
Its sliver grey vastness stretched out till the low lying horizon. Bluish tint Eked out from the line between black sky and sleeping earth. The coming sunrise to arrive from a new dawn.
Beneath the horizon, distant dunes blurred together in one solid mass. Black and purple specks marked their smooth slopes and tops. Endless numbers, they stretched around surrounding the land no matter what where I turned to look.
The far horizon crested with a creeping unnatural blue gloom. High above, cranking my neck, the black expanse filled an enormous sky overhead.
My right eye twitched.
Just where the hell am I?
To the right, my leg hung over the edge of a sinkhole, the size of a farmer's shed. Down in the bottom, a puddle of clear water in the center, an inch deep. I scrambled away from the ledge.
I climbed up the sand bank as loose sand rolled into my path. Found a flat area near the top and I plunked myself down. I rolled over onto my bulging backpack. A groan escaped. Back of my head propped up by the pack. Rough fingers jabbed the chin strap. It popped loose and my helmet fell to the sand with a soft thud.
I'm alive…and I have survived.
My eyes drew upward to the twilight sky.
It was night, still, stars unusually bright and the moon seemingly nowhere in sight. Good riddance.
***
I breathed in and then out.
Take it easy…
You're ok. You're still alive. That is all that matters.
I groaned. Chest rose and fell. Tension in my shoulders slacked.
What…exactly happened, back there? My eyes shut, trying to remember. I rubbed my forehead. Head throbbed. Fingertips scratched into my scalp.
I…don't…know
We went into that strange light, together. The moment she touched it, something surged like a bolt of electricity flowed through her into me. Every hair on my body stood up. On her back, I drew away. Arms and elbows shielded my face, yet my hands refused to let go. I felt Elly shudder as she slipped headfirst into that bizarre alien sphere. Then it all…went blurry.
The inside of my skull throbbed. Palm pressed against forehead to no avail. My head began to rock.
Was that…a portal? Why the hell wasn't I told about that. Not one word was spoken. She should have mentioned it earlier at least before it was too late.Not a second before she jumped into that light. Was she trying to do? Keep it from me as a secret? Why? There was time.
Just where the hell is Elly? My hand touched my forehead. I glanced around at the sand nearby. How come I don't see any tracks or signs of life. It was like nobody had been here. Not even animal tracks. Or a faint touch of wind.
I don't see any foot-hoofprints. Did she abandon me? No, it's like she never came here. I don't know. She must or could have..I shook my head.
Thoughts swirled with possibilities. Each one a curse on my mind.
My forehead rested on my palm. Questions swirled with no answers. Things that could not be explained.
A hand reached for my rifle to find it missing. My body snapped to attention. Looking left, right up down front back, My head twisted to and fro to no avail.
My fist slammed into the soft sand. "Damnit"
I'm a useless grunt of the 1st infantry division and I'm utterly lost…
***
The stillness of the desert air betrayed the urgency that throbbed inside my chest. I inhaled deeply. The fragrance's sweet aroma soothed my frayed nerves. I breathed out. Things began to grow calm. The beats in my chest slowed and slowed. My own nerves started to relax.
There remains one question…
My weary eyes stared out to the low horizon.
Where the hell am I?
My right eye blinked . The urge to rub it grew. Clumps of sand dust clung to my cheeks and eyebrows. Rough shaven chin held a patch all by itself. My caked lips cracked with a frustrated whistle. The rising sun's rays gleaned from the border between sky and desert.
My eyes squinted.
I must be… Somewhere near the Iraqi Iranian border, in the deep desert. No town or sign of human civilization in sight. North or south? I rubbed my jaw. How many miles, along? I haven't heard the sound of artillery or the shreech of jets overhead for a while. Is the war even happening here? It appears untouched.
Back in the city, I heard small arms and mortars going off every minute of day or night. It was so common I barely noticed it. I even slept through the worst. But here? Nothing, as far as I can tell. Not even a breeze. The war must be too far away from here to be heard.
The only recognizable thing that stood out in this desert was a giant boulder the size and width of a two story house plopped down in the desert like it had been there for centuries. Worn and battered and itched by sand and wind. It had to be at least a football field away.
Damn, my platoon must be worried shit about me. When I get back, I'm gonna get hazed for being gone so long. Or even court martial. I'll be a disgrace to the entire 2nd battalion. I dread the punishment the captain will make me do. I'll take any punishment to not deal with him.
I stared at the enormous boulder.
Heels dug themselves into the soft ground. Outstretched fingers slipped in between the grains of sand. Every muscle braced. Eyes forward. I sprang up. I tottered before falling on my knees.
A flurry of coughs racked my lungs then came more coughing. The sand settled below my knees. What is going on? I'm exhausted already? I can't be that out of shape. I ran PT with a full pack for miles.
Cough, cough and then more coughing racked my poor lungs . Thoughts came slow. Can I even make it to my feet? Should I take off my gear? Then it will be cumbersome to carry it. Somehow I don't think my arms have the strength anymore.
My sore chest rose and fell. Eyes closed briefly. I need to get back to my feet.
"Hooah!"
One great push from below and I rose to my feet. Off balance I stumbled to the left. Arms waved like a drunk clown. Both legs locked in their stride and I remained upright, hands raised for the unexpected. Now I'm good.
I brushed off my uniform and gear, wiped my dirt caked neck. My head turned. Eyes gazed at unremarkable desert shadowed by distant imposing dunes.
Get a move on, soldier. Quit lollygagging around. The brave men of C company are dying while you're sitting on your ass.
One foot after the other. I headed for it. The only remarkable landmark in this desolate desert stood like an ancient rock in front of me. At least 100 yards away. I trudged on. Step by step, my breathing was labored and hard. Left leg give me a numbing deep pain. Something was wrong. Why was I so exhausted?
The closer I got, the more tiring it became. Lungs giving it all they got. Boots sunk into the sand. So exhausted. My ankles buried up to their shins. Can barely catch a breath.
"Damn mare," I muttered under my breath.
Wherever she is. I hope she is alright. She was in real bad shape before we jumped into that portal. I keeled over, a hacking cough erupted from within. I'm too exhausted to think.
I can't stand around here and wait for rescue. They're bound to send patrols in this area. If there is one that comes, I hope to god it isn't an Iranian one. I don't even have my rifle. I'm not ready to be a prisoner of war. I looked up to the expansive night sky. At least not today. Tomorrow is another day.
I reached the leaning rock placing a hand on its rocky exterior. Damn that was exhausting. Bracing, I leaned into the boulder to catch a breath. The urge to breathe grew and grew. So tired I could fall asleep standing up on my feet.
Finally, as my lungs subsided from their desperate need for air. My head tilted up.
The longer I looked, the more apparent it became that something lied perched on the enormous rock face. My legs shifted as I looked up. The thing rested precariously on the edge. Its familiar flat rectangle shape with rounded parts stood out from the rocky wall. It was obviously man made. I squinted, blinked, rubbed my eyes and finally recognized it. My rifle!
I glared up at the rock face. My boot grinded a stone into the sand
"How in the world did you get up there?"
My neck cranked as I gazed upward. Questions crossed my face. The desert dry aroma teased even in the dead breeze. My nose sniffled. I shrugged and looked down over my shoulder. A visible trail that cut over the desert for yards heading back to the sinkhole to my rear. So yes I did come rolling by this way.
There was not a single track or hoofprint on the sand or desert mounds. Only sand and more sand clear and persistent as can be. I sighed. For sure, Elly did not come this way.
I looked and looked, scanning the featureless surroundings. Down at the boulder's widest girth were lots of scattered rocks. I grinned, cracking my knuckles. This is going to be fun.
***
20 feet high huh. I leaned over and picked up a rock by the hell of my boot. It fit in my hand easily. Its smooth, round surface would make a great pitch. I turned and faced the imposing boulder straight on. In my head, calculated, it would take several throws.
The m4a2 rifle laid perched, overhanging the edge by the barrel like the smug bastard it was. This remedy in my hand will fix it. It will only take one good hit to do it. The corners of my lips smiled.
I straightened. Arm drew back. Shoulders up. Head cocked. I threw.
The rock flew true and straight. It shot upward and ricocheted off the edge, over my head and landed into the side of a sand mound behind me.
Huh? That was spot on. Missed by an inch, I was bemused. I knelt down and picked a bigger rock. Its weight was hefty in my squeezed palm. This will work better.
I cocked my head. One eye closed. Closer this time.
Smack!
The gun barrel bounced up and went back further from the ledge. The rear sights were now hidden from view.
I stood there, silently, eyebrow twitching, a scowl across my face.
I rubbed my right shoulder. Should I take off my pack? Nah, it'll only take another hit, another freaking one. I grabbed a convenient, nearby rock. My arm drew back and threw, hard. It soared past by a mile.
Well that was bad luck.
I shook my arm and picked up another rock.
It flew by a rain soaked barn. Steam came out of my ears.
Backpack dumped right onto the sand. I picked up a bigger, mini watermelon size rock. I heaved it up over my head.
It hit and spun the rifle barrel closer to the edge.
Ooh so close.
Got two baseball sized rocks.
Missed.
Bounce before tapping the barrel.
Damnit. If I had a grenade I would have knocked my gun right off that boulder.
Another rock. Another miss.
My boot kicked sand. "Damnit!"
More rocks hurled at the top of the boulder. I snarled.
Miss, miss, miss, tapped, Thud,miss, Thud MISS! Rocks of all shapes and sizes came down with a plop around my position. I trembled with clenched fists and one hot red neck.
"Fuck it. I'll climb this bitch."
I unsnapped the army vest strap by strap. I lifted the weighted vest over my head and dropped it flat on the ground over rocks. Pounds lighter, I flexed my limbs and back enjoying the sudden relief.. My upper body twisted left and right. This feels much better.
I walked up to the boulder's side, a step from nose to nose with it. A quick examination of the rock wall held many holds and crevices I could get my fingers and toes into. Good enough for me. I licked my chapped lips and began the climb.
I worked my way up the rock wall. Hands gripped the hard surface. Chin pressed against the hard cold surface. My breath pulsed against the rock face. I hesitated. You can do this.
I stepped onto the shallow toehold and moved up the rock face. One step after another I climbed up. The toe of my sandy boots grinded on the narrow slits in the rock. I reached out and grabbed a small hold. Ok, now swing your foot over.
My right boot slipped out of its hold and scraped over the rock face. Easy… Easy.. I grimaced. My toes squeezed as the boot made contact.
"Phew" I let out an expression. It is getting colder up here the higher I go?
Now move the other foot. I took a slow breath, letting my lungs fill up with air. Hands gripped the rock face. My left foot moved from its spot. It slipped, I yelled.
I fell to the ground below right over my army vest.
***
Dazed, I sat up with an aching lower back and sore ass. I glared upward. The rifle hung precariously on the edge, laughing at me.
"Fuck this shit"
"You can stay up there for all the hell I care"
I snatched a rock and threw it. It flew in a high arc spinning in the air and smacked the barrel. The gun slid further from the edge. Only the tip of the barrel and the front sights were visible.
"Damnit!"
I clumsily got to my feet. Hunched over, I limped to the boulder and plopped down next to it. My back rested against the solid rock. I sat hunched over picking my fingernails. Thoughts went through my head. Boots mindlessly dug in the sand in front of me. Tired eyes on the low horizon.
Canteen pulled from its strap and gripped in my hand. The cap fell to the ground. Lips met the canteen's lip. The lukewarm liquid slurped down my parched throat. Every gulp was a refreshment to my tired, sore, aching body. I have been through so much. I must have a rest. More thoughts came. Yet my eyes refused to close.
Coldness sapped my cheeks. My head barely nodded. I shivered.
Man, it is getting colder.
My boot reached out, hooked the strap from the vest laying flat on the rocks and dragged it back to me. I shook off the vest. Sand particles and loose bits fell off. The vest went back over my head and onto my shoulders. I strapped it to my upper body with ease. It was already warmer.
A low growl erupted from my lower gut. I perked up.
Hungry, now?
I stood up. The backpack swung onto my shoulders like a bag of bricks. I cursed and swore but kept my footing.
The one piece of gear I needed continued to mock me from its high perch. If I still had that grenade I would have blown it off that mountain of a boulder. Or better still, C4 would definitely have done the job. I marched to the other side of the rock and plopped down next to the rock face.
The straps came off my shoulders. The pack swung from my back onto the ground beside me. Unzipping, I reached inside and pulled out an aluminum foil neatly wrapped food.
The foil unwrapped. Mouth watered. Bread and grilled chicken with watery sauce. Tongue licked my lips. The craving of unrelenting hunger gnawed at me. This was nothing like back home.
I haven't eaten anything since I was taken as a prisoner- I mean saved from imminent danger.//You mean since you left the old man's house??
The smell alone was gorgeous. Like lemon chicken on the grill, sizzling. Fat dripping on hot coals. I took a good bite. Teeth dug into cold bread and meat. The instant the flavor hit my tongue sending shivers down my spine.
Home.
I took another bite.
Nostalgia, regret. Bittersweet. Each bite brought in more.
Back home. In my room. Hands trembled holding the food before my mouth.
No tears, only unresolved guilt.
Hands trembled as I chewed. Overwhelming sorrow. shame.
How can it be? I miss it- I miss it so much.
Feelings awash, No tears, only regret. Each bite rushed a wave of emotion. The desert stillness vanished into a coming Texas spring. Back home, my feet blistered as I ran through the brush. The branches slapping me as I darted through. My life before.
I did not want to leave.
But I did anyway.
I finished the last bite with messy fingers. I licked it all off, even the dirt and sand.
Sunrise grew. The blue glow intensified. Rays of sunlight breaking over the distant horizon.
I sighed, shoulders slacked, hunched over. The flavor faded. My tongue craved even more. Only memories remain of a time that once was. It's all gone now. The pain will ebb away once it is forgotten.
The canteen reached my lips.
Under the bright stars, tucked unnoticed between two mounds, a figure lied collapsed in a shallow dip. Their red stained legs sprawled out on the gray sands. Hooves tangled in white mane. Their sorrel coat sullied in grim. A tail dragged in filth wrapped tight around the left hind leg. From its parted lips, hung a lifeless tongue.
"Oh shit-"
I leaped to my feet and ran.
"ELLY!"
My lungs exploded. Arms pumping.
Boots pounded sand. Rocks and dust flew.
"Oh God Oh God"
Throat screamed. Thighs burned.
I raced over sand and rock.
Arms swinging. Sides hurting. Lungs ready to burst.
Nearly there, Nearly there.
Go faster!
My stride lengthened. I tripped.
Chin slammed earth. Arms extended far in front. They failed to catch the fall.
I slide through sand and rock. I cursed and swore before looking up.
A dozen feet away, she lied unnaturally still. Her head lay flat on its side with sagging ears. Her eyes shut to the chilly night air.
"Elly," I croaked, the wind knocked out of me,
I must get to her. I must save her! I crawled.
Bitter sand stuck to my uniform as I scurried over the shifting ground. Hands and fingers dug through rock and sand. My body dragged itself over pristine desert. Limbs strained and ached. Teeth gritted. Fingernails dug straight into the shifting sand. My heart fluttered. Arms protested their undeserved agony.
I slid till I was stopped by her front hooves. Stomach twisted in a knot, I seized her battered and bruised foreleg. Her leg held limp in my grasp. The blood has already dried.
I dropped it and sprang forward. My weight landed on her chest. Fingers probed the ribs looking for the right spot. So cold. Right there! My head slammed her chest. My ear squished. So cold. Holding my breath, teeth clenched, I listened.
…
..
.
"NO!"
I ripped off my vest and flung it on the ground.. Gear tossed away, discarded. Gear, knife, Pouch, Belt Everything came off.
I seized her leg, bruised and battered beyond belief. My hand ran along its length.
Nothing! I felt nothing.
Check her neck!
I turned and flopped hard over her shoulder. My palm slid under the mane and ran down the length of her neck.
No! No sign of it.
A pulse! She must have a pulse!
Chest!
Hands slapped onto the mare's chest. So cold. Searching, they felt every inch looking for a beat. Somewhere, anywhere. No sign. No heartbeat She's not moving.
I can't find one!
My fist beat against her battered chest.
Head! Ears!
I cradled her limp head in my arms and grasped her ears. Ice cold
No.
Throat!
Two fingers jammed into her throat feeling around for a vein. They pressed and probed underneath into her jaw.
Still, nothing…
Eyes!
My thumb pulled back her eyelid. Her blue eye was rolled all the way in her head.
She's De-
-Is she breathing!? A tiny voice squealed.
Check it!
I don't know
Do it Now! The voice in my head screamed
I crawled over her front legs, flipped and rested my back against her thick chest. So cold. Hands slipped through mane to touch her neck. So cold, she's not moving. I lifted her head up and placed it on my lap. The weight pressed upon my thighs.
Underneath filthy mane, my hand moved from the chilly neck along her throat to slide down the fuzzy muzzle and stopped to cup her soft nose. Two fingers darted inside.
Breathless, I waited. Moments, excruciating moments passed. Please…be alive.
Hope, the tiniest bit of it, Prayer on my lips. Please Please...Seconds ticked by. Be alive. My eyes widened. The faint touch of warmth tickled my fingertips.
A gasp came from within my throat. Fresh tears welled up. My arms wrapped around her muzzle. Her head pressed into my quivering chest. She was alive….and breathing! Oh Thank God almighty. My snot filled face buried itself into her mane. I wept.
***
The horizon's glow grew on the border between sky and desert waste. The faint rays struck the tops of distant dunes casting shadows onto smooth slopes. Lifeless sand visible to the naked eye. Their presence sparkled in the faint sunlight.
Elly's head lay across my chest as my back rested against her's. My hand petted her cheek. Wet mane drying in the breezeless, night air. Her tongue back inside her closed mouth. The desert grew colder by the minute.
Dusty sleeve wiped my wet cheeks. Hot breath faintly visible in the air. Mane marked with dried blood with a few shards still stubbornly clung on. Quiet sobs faded. Old tears remained on her forehead.
The weight of Elly's head and neck bore down on my chest. I struggled to breath. Eyes still watered. The blueish horizon now had an orange tint. My eyes closed then opened. Vision improved, still. I dare not move from this spot.
The sun's rays reached her foreleg. Blood caked on the skin. It was bruised, scraped all down the leg. Next to it, my standard issued army vest leaned on her calf muscle. Thumb sized holes ripped through the fabric in multiple spots
I've been shot.
Gently, I lowered Elly's head onto the chilly ground. Her long wounded neck settled firmly into the malleable sand. The mare's chin perched itself by my knee.
Now breathing easier, I fast rolled over onto the mare's limp forelegs and seized my vest, snatched the first aid kit out of its pouch then sat on the ground between mane and hooves. Unzipped, the contents fell scattered into my lap. I grabbed a handful of bandages, tourniquet and disinfect.
I ripped off my green army issued shirt. Weeks of unwashed body odor poured out. Unflinched, I swayed my hips. Bruises and cuts laced my abodemen. One nasty one above my belly button. I pivoted and stretched till my ass came into clear view over my shoulder. It was completely drenched in horse hair and sweat with no serious wound. Both legs stretched out in front of me.
The muscles in my back flexed and yawned. I leaned back. My arms and shoulders stretched . Two fingers swept down each side of my back to my thighs.
Down the back, my index finger discovered a hole through the trousers. The fingertip slipped inside. I yelped, falling over and lost my seat. The pain festered inside my left thigh.
Without thinking, my belt flew off. Both hands began to roll up the pant leg as fast as possible. Urgent in their work, they scratched my skin. The rolled up pant leg made it over my knee before I hesitated. The lips pressed firmly together. My gaze turned to the Elly lying beside me, her side barely rising. I bit my lip. She needs it more.
The loose shirt slid back onto my tired body. Still hurting, I pivoted to face the unconscious mare. Bruises and welts along her ribs. Dried blood on those legs. Cuts, fresh scars and everything.
I perched on my knees with bandages and tourniquet in hand. Unease grew. My shoulder twitched, unease. Doubt crept in along with Uncertainty. I hesitated. My lips locked shut.
I don't know how to do… this
Remember your training.
They have never trained me for this. They trained me for war and to follow orders, shoot to kill…not, my eyes drifted to Elly, Not her. Not a horse. Her size dwarfed me. A 6 foot tall American grunt.
Still you were taught a first aid course. Remember?
Remember? Where the hell do I start? I'm not a combat medic.
You were trained for this.
Where in the hell do I start?
I don't know first aid for a horse. Will the bandages fit? She's bigger than me. I won't have enough.
Visible wounds all over her neck and chest. Blood in her mane.
You were trained for this. Do what you were taught and do it.
Remember what you were taught and do it!
I can't!
Treat her like you would a woman.
Elly's not a-
She saved your life! More than once.
I bit my lip as my cheeks burned. When did I become such a coward? "I'll do it," I growled.
My eyes snapped open, chin up. I gave a determined look at the alien mare. Her side was covered in cuts and bruises. Glass, the few fragments that remain laced in her ragged mane. They glimmed before my eyes. Her legs battered and bloodied ruined. Her ribs bruised and cut all over.
Dirty fingers slipped into latex. The gloves snapped as they concealed callous, broken skin. I flexed my hand and wrist before making a fist.
Pushed mane fell aside, out of the way of her bloodied neck revealing unseen cuts and bruises. Along her throat behind her ear was a grievous wound. I leaned over to examine. Fingers pinched. Puss oozed out from inside. A piece of gauze wiped it away.
Gloved fingers pulled at bare skin. The wound opened. Exposed flesh glistened and squired in the night air. Raw scent hit my face. Embedded inside was a jagged metal fragment. I plucked it out.
Too big for the patch, I rolled out more gauze. Bandage pad placed on the wound. Gauze rolled around her neck semi tight. I tied and taped it. I rested on my knees checking my work. That should do it. First aid refresher training paid off during my deployment. I glanced down at her body and cringed. But there is still more to do.
The gloves came off. I turned my back to the mare. "Sorry" I said softly, "I must go and get my pack."
Without a moment to spare, I stood up. Blood rushed to my head. Dizzy, I stepped back. One of my legs fell asleep without me realizing it. Fuzzy nerves came back to life. They complained. No matter, I had a mission to achieve.
The desert sand cushioned my numb feet as I trudged toward the lone boulder in a sea of endless sand. The heat of my breath blew on my uncovered palms. I shivered. Arms crossed over chest. Eyes stared upward. Its becoming colder under this beautiful night sky.
The backpack leaned upright against the rock face open to the elements. Tiniest bits of sand found their way on man made fabric. My helmet laid not too far, dumped by a pile of sandy rocks scattered over the ground. Canteen on its side by the pack where I dropped it.
I reached the pack sitting by the boulder. Hand wrapped around a strap and lifted it with one arm. All 80 pounds of it swung onto my back and things went south.
The ground flew upward. My chest impacted rocks and sand. The agony was unreal. I withered.
The fully loaded backpack rolled off my hurting back. I laid in agony wondering what the hell was going on? Am I that out of shape? Damn what the hell have I been doing. There seemed to be no strength left in this body.
I shot a glance to Elly still lying there unmoved in the shallow depression. Am I going to have to crawl back there dragging this heavy pack while choking on sand and dust. When I can't even get up and carry it on my shoulders and back? No, I can't give up. I won't. She needs me. My left thigh throbbed. I winced.
I picked up my helmet and strapped it on. Canteen went back on the belt. I stood over the backpack, both straps held in each hand. I paused, deep breath in. I swung the pack hard onto my back.
The muscles in my left thigh were ready to buckle. I groaned and held firm. My sense of balance was out of whack. Teetering on the edge of falling. Not good, not good at all. The backpack's entire weight leaned on my one shoulder. I dropped to one knee, gasping.
Summoning whatever strength that still remained in my body. I grunted, I yelled. I rose off my downed knee and staggered backwards onto my feet.
GO!
Leaning forward, I marched, step after step grunting and groaning.What the hell. This is completely so unreal. I huffed and strained with every muscle I still had. Only a few strides away. I pushed more than ever. I slammed the backpack on the ground and flopped to my knees totally exhausted.
My tired eyes fell upon the unconscious mare laying beside me. A hand ran down her long neck, over the bandage behind her throat. Wondering if she was peacefully sleeping or even still breathing.
The palm of my hand touched her ribs. Next to it was a bruise bigger than my outstretched fingers. With patience, I waited.
The tiniest of pressure moved my wrist. She is breathing…just barely.
Relief came through my sleep deprived body. Shoulders slouched. Eyes closed. My chin touched my chest in exhaustion. She's still here.
My head lowered in prayer. "I'll do my best"
Cold fingers slipped back into the gloves. The latex snapped. I scurried closer to examine her shoulder. It held a serious wound, the kind bullets make. A drop of blood oozed out of the seemingly tiny hole.
I immediately probed the hole. A trickle of clear puss and red juice oozed out. My fingertip probed the inside. It was a gazing blow larger caliber, maybe from a 7.62mm round. She was lucky, damn lucky. If it angled to the right a little more it would have gone through her neck.
I pulled out a bit of gauze, drippled disinfect over it and wiped the shallow wound.
I squeezed the gauze out. Then immediately went back and cleaned it, wiping away the grim and dried blood. No bandage for this one. Not enough. Must ration for the more.
I checked one visible closer to her rear. Shapneral that somehow missed my leg and hit her flank. Could have been the metal bits from the grenade or something else. Bullet fragments? I wiped it and soaked a bit of gaze in disinfectant and cleaned out the gorge. Blood and puss wiped out leaving a red scar. Better now, with no infection. The dirty gaze tossed away.
Fingers ran light over her side. I scanned her midsection dark bruises and red welts hardly visible underneath her sorrel coat. Heavy breathing as my eyes went back and forth. Could there be injuries behind her hind legs? I must check it later.
I crawled back over her front two legs. Eyes spotted between her knees dots of red on the ground. I sniffed. Nothing but the aroma of vast desert.
I moved off my knees, turned, and sat on my ass next to her chest. Unconcerned, I reached over and gripped her ankle above the hoof. I poised. Nose itched. In one swift move, I pulled her leg up to my face.
"Holy JESUS"
Hot blood gushed out. Raw flesh drenched in bubbling blood. Spurts of red streaming down her limb spilling onto dry sand. My hand shot forth and clamped the gaping hole shut.
"Fuck"
Sharp piercing pain through the latex glove. I clenched my teeth. Steaming aroma of fresh blood in my face and eyes.
I dropped her leg.
Fuck fuck fuck!
I have to stop the bleeding. I reached into my pack and grabbed the biggest bandage. What is fuck inside her?
Hot liquid squelched into my glove.
I have to do this. Take a deep breath and GO! I lifted her leg.
Hot blood erupted in view. Raw flesh gorged and inflamed. Blood flowed down the leg in spurts.
I seized my knife from its sheath.
Red trickled, dripped onto sand. A wicked sharp shard of broken glass lodged in her flesh and muscle. A sharp breath, I angled the blade.
Fingers gripped the handle. I hesitated. Eyes blinked. The sharp edge poised. A quick breath taken.
The blade dove in.
The tip sunk into the steaming flesh. Blood bubbled to the surface as redden muscle and fat were cut. Skin sliced through. The blade pried against the deeply lodged, bloodied shard. I twisted the blade.
"Fuck"
Blood spewed as the shard popped loose. Bloodied hand clamped the gaping hole shut again. Putting pressure with Disinfectant ready,I grabbed the biggest white patch.
I released. More blood spewed. Disinfectant poured, flushing out the wound in gulps. I slapped the patch on the gaping wound with gauze and applied even more pressure. Using one hand I began to wrap her shoulder with the beige wrap over and over until I reached the end of it. I tied it off with a grunt.
I fell backwards, ass plunged into the sand. Elly's battered body laid before me. Red gloved hands covered in red shook. Gut was queasy. Lungs heaved uncontrollably. The bloodied knife beside me. I threw up.
***
Across the desert on hands and knees I crawled. Blood splattered gloves tossed like trash on the path. Canteen sloshed on the belt. I made my way over to the Elly's front. Her neck made a long trough in the earth. I sat up by her nose. Ruined mane blanketed her face. I took her chin and cheek in my hands and heaved. Her head and neck lifted from the sand. Tiny grains fell out of her mane and coat. I scooted underneath. Gently, the draft mare's head lowered into my waiting lap.
"I'm sorry," My hand slipped under her forelock. "I didn't know. You had such a hideous wound." My fingers touched the spot between her eyes.
"All this time," I began to rub her forehead. " You galloped on, carrying my weight, my burden."
I sniffled.
"And said not a word!"
"If you would have…" My voice quivered, "told me."
"I wouldn't have kicked- beaten you so hard!"
The sunrise grew. The night sky faded before the sun's rays. My hand slid along to caress her bloodied neck. Shards of glass stubbornly held in that filthy, ruined mane. Callous fingers pushed aside mane.
A huff lifted Elly's head. Her muzzle came up to my chest. Canteen brought to her lips. Water dribbled in. Some into her mouth Slushing in her gums, the rest not. Her tongue fell out. I put it back inside. The excess drizzled on my uniform.
Stopping, I screwed the cap back on the canteen and placed it aside. My dirty sleeve wiped her wet lips. I lowered her head till it laid down in my lap. Her cheek rested on my thigh.
"You…saved me," I heaved and sputtered. The ache in my heart grew.
"I had to do it. There was no time," I choked.
"They were coming…I didn't have a choice."
Fingers intertwined with wild strands of her mane.
"I'm so sorry-" I choked.
A lone tear streamed down my dry cheek.
"But there is nothing more I can do for you."
***
I gazed longingly at the distant horizon. A faint bluish glow gleaned on the line between earth and sky. My right hand rested on her forehead. My right arm's bandage tattered and torn remained still wrapped pushed aside her ears.
Elly's chin laid on my thigh. Its great weight bearing down. My own leg was nearly asleep. Two fingers fondled her forelock as the night's great expanse rolled in retreat from the outreaching solar rays. Silently I gazed upon the twinkling stars. They disappeared one by one. How old were they really? How far they must be? Why do they show themselves now and not before? And, where was the moon? Coward!
The bluish glow expanded on the horizon. My eyes squinted. The sun will rise. It will be dawn and already, My own limbs were exhausted beyond belief as was my sore aching body. Teeth began to chatter as I shook involuntarily.
The stars gleamed in their vast array amidst the desert smell as they vanished one by one. The wind never came. Not even a single breeze. It was dead tonight. The smell of pristine untouched sand came in a steady, almost comforting way.
Uncountable stars twinkled and shined out amongst the looming expanse. Constellations never seen by my own eyes. Glorious. Far as the eye could see. Thousands of stars burning away, the densest ever seen. The night sky came alive.
Wondrous, stars sparkled and gleamed. Consultations spread out in all their glory across the expansive night sky. Things never seen before. Delighted eyes basked in the wonder and awe across the expansive night sky. Glorious. Mouth agape, I sat in awe of the heavens. It was utterly, terrifyingly beautiful.
Was this what it meant to be alive?
I looked down, Elly's head in my lap, tears streaming down my cheeks.
"At least you'll die in my arms tonight," I said.
Or at the coming dawn. I thought to myself.
The solar rays peeked over the horizon. The pale landscape turning shades of greyness into layers of tan and brown and caramel. Arid landscape came alive. Long thin shades moved and fluxed and shimmered. Before my watery eyes, the dawn's light blimmed a bluish color.
The sun rose. The desert awakened.
My eyes widened. Mouth agape.
"No! It can't be- It's impossible!"
Peeking from the distant horizon, A giant fractured blue moon arrived in a stunning world display to a tiny red sun. Loose asteroids orbited the strange moon like a frayed belt. Individual ones with craters and scars moved along the path. Some collided with bigger rocks as they circled along the moon's waist.
Moments passed without notice. Time seemed endless. The new alien moon moved in a strange unknown way through the dawn sky. Seconds ticked by. More stars faded away. The sun's rays hit my skin. I covered my face. Then, the red sun dipped below the vast horizon. And the desert plunged back into night.
She has taken me to a whole new world.
***
Cradled in my arms, her cheek rested on my chest. My hand rubbed between her eyes. I watched the alien moon rise in its splendid, unworldly beauty.
"Simply incredible."
My gaze turned from the star filled expanse to the sleeping mare. The struggle to find the words was real.
"I could have never imagined this, all this, was possible. Never ever in my life."
I gazed upon her still face.
"You're one amazing horse," I whispered in her ear.
I smiled.
"I love you."
I leaned down and kissed her, right on the nose.
Her eye opened.