Bachira's Main Obsession

There was something powerful about not following the rules. Isagi gained momentum in Blue Lock like never before. But football had rules. Blue Lock had rules. So, how to decide which ones was he supposed to disregard, and what to keep?

With football, his mind could read the football court with the speed of the ball and the players. Why didn't it work the same way with relationships? Of course, a game was "just a game", and real life was too messy to predict.

When Ego created a team of egoists to win, a miscalculation also occurred. The Neo Egoist Team maybe did serve Japanese football, in the beginning. But after, they only served themselves.

Nagi left first, for more money, because it was never his dream to play football. He took Reo with him. Kunigami left next because he had evolved too far to stop now. And as the team members left one by one, each maybe a country that was further off from Japan than the last, staying meant you'd get left behind. Skill-wise just as literary.

Isagi still met some of them during the matches and had a successful football career, where there didn't seem to be a limit of what his generation of football players could achieve. Then, at the age of 26, he had bad luck, got hurt on the field so badly that he couldn't get on his feet for weeks, and never truly healed after.

He was in pain most of the time. If football was his only passion for most of his life, how was he supposed to just give it up, and do something else?

He had no idea how Ego could ever watch them from the sidelines, for instance, when coaching was an almost obvious job for Isagi next - as he had been told by all the physicians who told him on no uncertain terms that if he still kept pushing through the pain, he'll only break his body more.

At one point, he still was forced to admit "defeat". Joined an international team as one of their advisors, working closely with their more experienced coach, and it wasn't as bad as Isagi supposed. Egoist football was played everywhere, and he not only understood how it worked, he knew what it was like firsthand.

But that didn't change the fact that others like Nagi, Rin, and Bachira were still playing, and it was a different life. That was only more glaringly obvious when Isagi met Bachira at a fancy party in the UK once, and Bachira was only bigger in person than on the screen.

"I'm getting slower, and the new generation of players grew up learning all my old tricks while it's not so easy to come up with new ones as it was in Blue Lock, if I'm being honest," he told Isagi's compliments off easily. "And my manager and personal trainer try to convince me it's only natural. Say, Isagiii, don't you want to join my team?"

Isagi said no, thinking it was a joke, and spent a couple of hours catching up with Bachira next, promising to stay in touch, just as they always promised, but never did. Their hectic lives made anything other than chance meetings pretty slim.

Still, the meeting with Bachira had lingered in Isagi's mind, even later. He felt something when they met, and not just the feeling of loss that he could no longer play, even if it was there.

Arguably, Bachira knew him better than most. He also had a magnetic personality (if not smile), that just dragged everyone who stood close to him into his world (football), with no chance of an escape. And seeing him, Isagi was reminded of something he forgot, even if he couldn't put it into words.

After a while, he just called Bachira up.

"You weren't serious about your job offer, were you?"

"Why, are you interested?" Bachira laughed, but unlike his teenage self, he was also less teasing and more serious, sometimes. "I'd be happy to have you, even though I'm almost sure I can't afford your current salary."

"I'll do it," Isagi said, without taking time to even consider it twice.

If anything, Bachira seemed stunned, asking after a small pause. "Are you sure?"

"I just need to know it wasn't a joke."

"It wasn't," Bachira sounded convincing. "But as I've said…"

"I'd take a pay cut any day, and find a way to get you back to shape in no time, like probably none of your current team can," Isagi said and realized at the moment that he already had a detailed plan ready for Bachira's training, since he had been thinking about Bachira for days prior their call. "But I need to know you mean it. You're a good enough player still with almost no extra effort, but to make you better, it would take a LOT. And if you only offered because you took pity on me, or--"

"Isagi, were you ever under the impression that I'm the kind of person who'd lie to others because I took pity on them?" Bachira stopped him. "Or did you ever think that I'd joke with football? Of course, I'd want you to train me and only me if I can have you. It just a pretty egoist move on my part… and I'm not sure why you'd do it, that's all."

"It's an egoist move on my part, too," Isagi said, and it was.

"Then, you're on, Isagi," they weren't on a video call, but Bachira sounded like he was celebrating wildly hearing that. "Just go easy on me while I'm under your care."

"No promises," Isagi was pretty sure Bachira didn't mean that one, and that made him reply likewise.

Spending a couple of hours with Bachira after years didn't compare when they spent just the same amount of time every day, training. Strategizing. Watching playbacks of Bachira's wins and losses, as well as legendary games.

It felt like nothing else, compared. Bachira no longer believed in the "Monster" but he still resonated on a higher frequency than most when it came to the sport, and when Isagi matched that - even when no longer playing - Bachira could always just push the ceiling further and further up, and their game of competition just started again, only from a higher level.

Isagi became Bachira's shadow, but that fit him better, anyway. If he was connected to Bachira and Bachira's energy, he still got more light than being a coach for an international team before. And he didn't have to be in the spotlight anymore. Give interviews, or risk that the paparazzi would follow him everywhere. Push the limit of how much physical exercise his body could take.

Yet, executing his strategy, Bachira still kept Isagi's football alive, even if it was personally tailored to fit a dribbler like Bachira. It felt like a dream. Isagi wasn't walking on the ground when it worked brilliantly, but above it, and with his help, Bachira still had a lot to give to the sport, despite his age.

Maybe it was so good it couldn't have lasted. Too good to be true. Because after a big party commemorating a huge goal and win, when Isagi helped Bachira get back to his room, the dribbler kissed him, instead of saying goodbye. Isagi quickly pushed him away and left, but his mind kept racing.

He never felt so humiliated in his entire life. Despite how some mangas portrayed sports, and some fans shipped some characters with another, in reality, even if Isagi was gay (he wasn't), there was no space for any attraction on the teams.

They couldn't have concentrated on the games at all, plus they shared lockers, showers, and bedrooms. So any sport mate was like family, where a hug after a win meant nothing more than that. And even if Bachira and Isagi were no longer playing together, it still felt inconceivable that Bachira would betray that unspoken contract, except he did.

Now Isagi no longer knew whether all the times Bachira celebrated a good moment with him and got maybe a little too touchy-feely meant something more than Isagi thought. Whether he wanted Isagi's training and advice, or working with him was just a ploy meant to somehow get Isagi to… what?

Isagi didn't even know if Bachira wanted him like that, then what was his end-game? Not that it mattered, right? A setup for a one-night stand meant Bachira intentionally misled him, just as if he did it because he wanted a relationship.

Isagi couldn't sleep a wink the whole night, tossing and turning, and when Bachira knocked on his hotel room's door the next morning, he was just tempted to not open it, pack his suitcase, and leave, but he didn't.

"Isagi," there was no hint of a smile in Bachira's tone, which was surely a first. "I'm sorry. I fucked up. Could I maybe come in to talk?"

Under normal circumstances, Isagi would have already invited the dribbler in, but not this time.

"I understand. I'm sorry. It never should have happened, and it won't happen again," Bachira started. "I got pretty wasted and while it's no excuse, I just want you to know that I wasn't in my right mind."

"Maybe you should come in," Isagi didn't especially like to share a cramped hotel room with Bachira after what happened, maybe paranoid at this point, but also didn't want any reporter or Bachira's teammates or manager for the matter to accidentally overhear anything.

So Bachira did sheepishly come in, but then just stood pretty close to the door, as if lost. For the first time, without his usual energy and upbeat jokes, he looked his age.

"I want to accept your apology," Isagi said, and he meant it. "But since I don't know where it came from, I'm questioning everything. Were we ever friends? Are you gay? And even if drunk, why would you kiss me? There were a lot of people at the party."

"I want to tell you the truth, but can I sit down first, maybe? My legs are just about to give out, and I have a hangover," Bachira sighed and gave a side look to Isagi's unmade bed, but when he saw Isagi's reaction to that, he just collapsed to the floor next to the wall like a sack of potatoes.

Making Isagi feel like an idiot for standing over him, so he also cautiously sat, leaning on the bed.

"Look, I have been playing football for more than 20 years now," Bachira started. "And the younger players are all stronger, faster, and hungrier, while I've made more money than I can spend in a lifetime. If I want to keep up with the trends of the sport, strategies - no matter your genius - only take me so far. I also have to train so hard every day that it often just comes with physical pain."

"You never told me that," it was the first time Isagi heard that, and now he was concerned for all the time he pushed Bachira to practice more.

"It's normal, and I've been managing it, don't worry," Bachira said. "And I played every game even when I was a kid as if it was my last one, leaving everything on the field, with no regrets. I should be ready to retire in a few years, not training to be stronger, faster, and trickier still. But I'm not."

"I've noticed," was all Isagi could say making Bachira chuckle.

"Yeah, you like to mercilessly run me around, don't you?" he asked but also shook his head. "Anyway. As I was saying, I could slowly give it up. Concentrate on other things like coaching, charities, you name it. But I can't, because… after our team at Blue Lock disbanded, I realized it was never football that kept me going."

"Could have fooled me." Isagi was confused. Rarely did he meet anyone with Bachira's drive for the sport.

"Don't get me wrong. Football is everything to me. But not because of the game. Rather because when I first started playing, it became obvious that I could be good, and it was the first time in my life that I looked up, and I wasn't alone, if not for my Mom."

Isagi knew how deeply Bachira missed his mother when she died, so he nodded.

"As a kid, I didn't think much of it, but now I know that the game was my way of connecting with other people. And I've made my strongest connections in Blue Lock. Not since, as you might think, because… even if I have surprisingly talented teammates, there's also a lot of cultural disconnects."

"I get that," Isagi could almost see himself trying to navigate his career full of uncertainty when Blue Lock ended. "And I thought we were best friends maybe because of that."

"You were certainly the closest to me in Blue Lock, and the closest to me now," Bachira said. "And for the record, I don't think I realized what I was feeling for you until we met again at that party where we reconnected. But it's not friendship for me. I love you."

Isagi's pulse started racing, and he was on the verge of a panic attack, hearing that.

"At the same time, I know you don't see me like that. Believe me," Bachira quickly added. "And I never meant to act on it, either, and now that I did, the last thing I want to do is to ask a favor of you. But I selfishly want you to stay, forgive me, and forget it ever happened. I give you all the time you need to think about it, just… as I've said, I'm not ready to quit just yet, so I need you. Professionally."

It was a good speech. Surprisingly honest. Isagi should have felt relieved, told Bachira to take a couple of days off, and restart the training as if nothing happened.

But, it wasn't just Bachira who connected with people on the field, he realized. The dribbler saw something more in Isagi when Isagi himself had no idea how he was going to fare in Blue Lock.

And looking back, the inexplicable pull that Bachira had on him and he couldn't put a label on… why he followed Bachira when his pro-life was over wasn't talent, although Bachira admittedly had plenty.

Looking back, he followed Bachira, because even if he didn't necessarily think - or even allowed himself to think - of Bachira as a potential partner, it was different to spend time with him than with anyone else. Isagi's best memories were more than proof of that.

When Isagi and Bachira attended a modern dance class to pick up inspiration together for a new style of dribbling, Bachira did dance like nobody Isagi's ever seen but turned out to be completely useless when it came to picking up choreographed dance.

Or when Isagi invited Bachira to his parents when they got a few days off for a Western holiday, because Bachira's mother was gone, and Isagi didn't want him to be alone, and they had the best gaming competition playing some of Isagi's old games.

Or just the countless moments when Bachira saw Isagi approaching, and his smile got a bit wider, and his teasing tone got a bit louder, welcoming Isagi each day to even the uneventful practice as if Isagi was the most interesting person in the whole world, and while it was embarrassing, it was also something else.

"I'm not sure I can go back and pretend as if nothing happened," Isagi told Bachira, whose face fell, but as he was going to stand up and leave, Isagi also grabbed the front of Bachira's T-shirt. "But maybe that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Even if sex with a man is more of a huge question mark for me, because I'm not quite clear on the usual dynamics as I would be with a woman, I must admit?"

Isagi was sure that was a horrible thing to say, even if the main concern was on his mind. After all, Bachira did confess to him, and in return, Isagi did what? Started babbling about the mechanics of some acrobatics in bed?

But when Bachira was looking at him more confused than anything, Isagi somehow realized he could only get Bachira to understand if he showed him. So this time, he kissed the other player and surprised himself with how comfortable he was with the whole thing when Bachira - at first - only tentatively kissed back.

But, as Isagi didn't pull back this time, Bachira got bolder and moved as well, so that soon he was sitting in Isagi's lap, moving his hips very suggestively, while their bodies were flushed together almost perfectly, even if both of them were fully clothed still, and Isagi just knew he had to make Bachira stop because the dribbler wasn't going to. And if not, Isagi had his doubts that he'd be able to later.

"Sorry," he pulled back.

"Isagiii," Bachira made his discontent known when he let go of Isagi's lips, but still wouldn't move from his lap.

"As I've said, I'm not sure how to do this."

"I'm sure that's not going to be a problem," Bachira huffed with a very suggestive smile, and he added. "If you… don't just do this because I somehow pushed you into it?"

"If I gave you that impression, I'm heartbroken," Isagi was a bit offended. "But… I don't want to hurt you. Have you been with a guy before?"

"No," Bachira said. "But… I think we could figure out the details. Together? When you're ready."

He was saying that, but he also kissed Isagi again, adding.

"Until then, maybe we could…uh… experiment?"

"Oh, and what would that look like?" Isagi was also smiling just as Bachira was. He couldn't believe he doubted his attraction for the other man for a second before when none of Isagi's past girlfriends measured up to a single kiss with Bachira.

"Call me old fashioned, but… as a first step, maybe we could move to the bed?" Bachira proposed, making Isagi laugh.

As to the steps that followed, for the first time in a long time, Isagi found that he might have been thinking too much. Bachira could always match his speed effortlessly before on the field as if reading his mind, so it shouldn't have come as a surprise that he could do the same in bed as well.

There were days when Isagi wanted to take it slow, and Bachira was nothing but attentive if not sweetly cuddling him during the night. But they also had days when Isagi wanted something more, and Bachira only reciprocated with just as much ferocity.

And the best thing was, even when Bachira retired, and they both got busy with other jobs, their dynamic still worked the same. They didn't need to stick to football to have chemical reactions and keep each other, in the end.