Kaneki's reason to live

Kaneki: seriously Mizutani-san you almost blew it we're lucky we were able to fool them.

Natsuki: sorry it won't happen again, I'll keep our secret in mind.

Kaneki: good.

After what happened earlier we needed to talk so at break me and Mizutani-san went to a room where no one goes into to prevent anybody discovering us in there I told Mizutani-san to whisper when talking and if someone is going enter the room I would randomly disappear to keep our secret.

Kaneki: anyways what did you need to talk to me about earlier?

Natsuki: I wanted to thank you for agreeing to be my friend.

Kaneki: well like I had any choice? you were planning to end it all if I said no am I wrong?

Natsuki:..

Sh*t I messed up! I shouldn't have said that.

Kaneki: oh.. sorry I messed up I shouldn't have say that.

Natsuki: it's alright Kaneki-kun the thing is you're right I was going to end myself if you declined but I'm quite surprised you knew.

Kaneki: well I know what's it's like.

Natsuki: wait you also wanted to end it all? how did you get through it?

Kaneki: well it's thanks to my 4 hero's.

Natsuki: 4 hero's?

I explained to Mizutani-san what my 4 hero's did to "save" me and told her that they were 4 of my friends.

Natsuki: I see, so when you were a kid when you were training you on the brink of losing your mind and started to be blinded by power but then "4 hero's" as you call them came to you and because of their involvement with you, you gain control of yourself to so you can protect them?

Kaneki: yes.

Natsuki: who were they?

Kaneki: 2 of my childhood friends, my best friend and one who I thought and still think as a sibling.

Natsuki: really! but what happened to them and you didn't you say you were with them your entire life?

Kaneki: well My other childhood friend went to a different school and the other 3.. well they estranged me.

Natsuki: What! that's horrible why would they do that!?

Kaneki: well they had their reasons. I was hurt at first but I decided to respect their decision and support them.

Natsuki: why?

Kaneki: well-

Natsuki: why would they estrange you, you were so nice and caring why would they do that? after all 5 of you vowed to stay friends no matter what, I'm sorry Kaneki I overreacted

Kaneki: it's alright I'm still supporting them until now by not interacting with them. but if there's one thing I regret is not being able to thank them maybe if I told them that I was thankful to them my entire life maybe they wouldn't have estranged me.

Natsuki: why don't you tell them?

Kaneki:... honestly it's probably because I'm a coward, but as long they don't hate me I will still have my reason to live

Natsuki: you...want a hug Kaneki-kun?

Kaneki: no need I'm doing good I'm strong after all.

Natsuki: yeah...

Kaneki:...

it was so awkward for Natsuki and Me that we didn't talk for 10 minutes until.

Natsuki: hey Kaneki can I go to your house lat-

Kaneki: sorry you can't.

Natsuki: why!? you don't want me to be there?

Kaneki: it's not that it's because my parents are going to the airport because they are going on a trip to Hawaii they won't be back for 1 month and 2 weeks plus after they depart I'm going to the forest to train to get stronger and get more power.

Natsuki: I see, Kaneki why do you want to get stronger and get more power? I know it has something to do with your dead mother but what is it exactly? I heard the girls talk about your promise to your dead mother but I couldn't hear it clearly because of the girls looking at me.

Kaneki:... well I don't like talking about it.

Natsuki: eh! sorry-

Kaneki: but I'll tell you. do you know the murderous child incident that happened 12 years ago?

Natsuki: I heard rumours but I doubt a 3 year child was able to kill 20 kidnappers?.

Kaneki: well those rumours were true. because I was that 3 year old that killed those 20 Murderers

Natsuki: What!

Kaneki: yes, I'll make it short basically I got kidnapped my mom tried to save me with this very katana but she got shot I took her katana and killed all 20 Murderers, when I came to my mom she was bleeding I knew she was dying but, she said that I must get stronger and more powerful so 2 tree's would grow with fruits I must eat to bring her back so I promised to her that I would get stronger and get more power to bring her back.

Natsuki: wow. I can't believe it you experienced something horrible like that I'm sorry for your loss, you know I'm surprised your not cry-.

Kaneki: "sniffing and tearing"

Natsuki: sorry I shouldn't had asked about your promise.

Kaneki: thanks for your concern but you know if it wasn't for those 4 I would have ended up as a bad person. they are the reason I am who I am today and they all gave me reasons to live that being to make sure those 4 are happy and keeping my promise to mom.

Natsuki: you really love them that much huh well in that case I'll support you and remember I will never leave you I promise.

hearing those words was really tough for me it reminded me of those 4 I was barely able to hold my tears at that moment I knew she really is a good person... I really am sick of myself for deceiving her acting like a really nice, good, and kind person infront of her.