63

Frigate "Normandie-SR2"

Captain's quarters

When I entered the captain's quarters, I didn't see Shepard in it. Or rather, an average person wouldn't have seen her, but I saw her hiding behind the ship's display case. As I walked on, I turned my head to the right and saw Shepard huddled in a ball with her knees drawn up, tears slowly streaming from her eye. She wasn't crying; she just couldn't hold them back. All her clothes, except underwear, were on the floor, and she was soaking wet. It's understandable; a body temperature of 40.5 C*'d be hot in clothes. Most likely a reaction to a nervous breakdown. I'd have to take that into account.

However, the strangest thing was that it wasn't Captain Shepard, the Torfaen Butcher, or anything like that sitting in front of me right now. What I saw now was simply Jane, who was now being flooded with memories.

- You know, I never thought I'd remember this," she said without opening her eyes. Shepard knew who had come to her; she just had to listen to the servos' movements and the synthetic muscles' contractions. With her hearing, it wasn't difficult.

- You can tell me if you want," I offered.

- It was... A long time ago," she began, and I sat beside her. - I was fifteen. I was living in Cairo then. One day we had a drink. I had my first drink. And then another... And another... It was my first drink. I... vaguely remember how it was... I only remember that I didn't want... it... I resisted, but... I couldn't with a bottle of homemade cognac in my blood... Anyway, it was my first drink... and my first time... I got knocked up. I never found out who it was from. And you know, I wanted that baby. I did. Call it whatever you want... Maternal instinct or whatever... But I was happy... I knew it would be born in a cesspool that the Alliance didn't care about, but I was happy. But then... He was born... Dead... Everything was fine; I did everything I was told at the time, but... He was born dead... That's all I heard when I woke up from the anaesthetic. They didn't even show him to me. He was cremated. It just knocked me out... I was in a weird state for a month. It's a strange feeling. It's like you're doing everything. Eating, walking, washing, doing everything you're told, but nothing else... The world doesn't exist... Just a specific action and that's it.

- It smells like something very unhealthy.

- Yeah... Right... Anyway, when the world became clear, I was sixteen. It's not a big deal. It's draft age. Yeah, you could do anything. No way. We weren't even allowed out of the slums. So it was nothing new, but one day... I... Call me what you want, but then I heard a baby crying... A baby crying... And it wasn't coming from somewhere... It was coming from here," Shepard pointed her index finger at her head. - I... I wanted it to stop; I tried to get away from it... The world disappeared again; there was only crying and screaming... A frantic, squeaking baby cry... I wanted to die... I just wanted it to stop... And suddenly... Suddenly, out of nowhere, I just crashed into the pyramid... Yes, I hit the lowest stones of the Pyramid of Cheops and hit my head on them. It's like it gave me a brain fix. The crying disappeared, but the main thing was different... You see, I was... Outside the slums... I got out of them, I could... Just blindly bypass all the patrols and checkpoints with dogs. And now I was a kilometre from Cairo and a kilometre from the slums. I... when I realised that here I was, I was free... I just didn't know where to go... But then I heard the dogs. They were following my trail. And that's when I pulled myself together and ran. To Cairo... I don't know how to run so fast, but I did it... And it had to happen... The first open building I saw... Hehe, you won't believe it; it turned out to be the Alliance commandant's office. There was a duty officer and a couple of other men... They looked at me and asked me what I was doing there. And I'm running my eyes and thinking what to say. And there was a poster on the wall. I don't remember what it said; I only remember... The key phrase... The phrase that changed my life... Join the Air Force. That's what I told them, and they got serious right away. They started asking how old I was, where I was from, where my parents were. One of them even told me to go sleep it off. But when I told them I was an orphan from the slums, they took me to a doctor. He examined me from top to bottom, and it seemed I was unfit... Still, complicated labour, unstable mental state... And kidney stones... With such a diagnosis, you're already unfit, but... The doctor who examined me was... Russian.

- Russian? - I was surprised, raising my eyebrow.

- Well, Russian, Ukrainian, Belorussian... It doesn't matter. We called all Slavs Russians," she explained. - I always wondered about this person... Responsive, kind and unselfish. Anyway, he had a choice... To give me a "Not fit", and I'll return to the slum from which I escaped, or to give me a "Godna" and a chance in life.

- And he gave me a "Good enough," I finished for her.

- Yes. Then I was on the first flight with the other cadets to Moonbase. That, of course, was also a... nightmare. All the majors and Mama's boys only knew how to call names, and when they got a punch in the jaw, they'd yell, "Commandant! Commandant!" Who's the other girl, huh?

- "They are," I said firmly. - You talk big, you get punched in the jaw. That's the norm!

- That's right. Then there was Acuza. The hospital. Elysium. Hospital in a square. Peat. The Tribunal. You know, sometimes I think... Why me? Why do I have to live like this? Only the weird thing is, if that kid hadn't died, I wouldn't have gotten out of the slums. I would have stayed there forever. It's like God made me suffer to save myself.

- 'That's for sure, God's ways are mysterious,' I said the phrase I'd heard in American films at every funeral.

- That's right. Do you... Do you believe in God? - Shepard suddenly asked, to which I just started improvising.

- You know... If religion is smoke, and priests are the people who fan the smoke... Then there's a fire somewhere. And this "fire" lives somewhere, somehow controlling everything we see and sometimes even us. But it's hardly called Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Kila, Atame or something like that.

- So you do believe, after all? - the captain clarified.

- I... want to believe that someone is looking out for me. Someone who has the power to do that," I stared dreamily at the ceiling while the captain did the same.

- Yeah... Watching over me..." and then Shepard dropped her head to her knees and just fell asleep. After waiting a few minutes, I took her in my arms and put her on the bed. It was better to sleep on the bed than in a "zu" position.

****

Frigate "Normandie-SR2"

Second Deck

Stepping onto the second deck, I was about to tell Joker to take off, but he suddenly contacted me.

- Legatus, the captain's not answering here, so I'm contacting you. Dispatch won't let us go.

- Shepard's asleep, and now-- What do you mean, he won't let us go? What the hell was he smoking in there? - I was outraged, but Susie answered me.

- Dad... Here's the thing... We've got a dozen armed mercenaries on the dock, and they demand to let us in, or they'll start breaking down the door.

- What the" I decided to swear, but then I remembered that my daughter could hear everything. - Who are they?

- I don't know, but Aria's trying to contact Shepard.

- Yeah, that's where it's coming from. All right, I'm gonna go figure it out.

****

Omega Station

Dock

Upon entering the dock, I saw 10 mercenaries, fully armed with good-looking weapons and quality armour.

- What do you want? - I began briefly.

- Who the hell are you? - parried the turian.

- Negotiator. Who sent you?

- Aria," the turian said briefly.

- Call her," I demanded. We were having a terse dialogue.

- Why would I do that? - The turian persisted.

- I'm the ship's XO, and Shepard sent me here to handle things. So make it quick.

- Erg, okay," the turian clicked on the unic and summoned the azari. - Aria. It's Lark. I'll patch you through to Shepard's get.

- What the hell do I need a geth? - Aria growled angrily.

- "He's the XO of the Normandy. He's in charge of the negotiations," Lark excused himself.

- Okay, come on," Aria said. Apparently he doesn't want to waste time. I and the turian exchanged channels, so to speak, and I heard the azari's voice, "Speak.

- What do you want from us? - I decided to ask the most important thing.

- Get Shepard on the line," she demanded. Why does everyone speak so curtly?

- I'm already here. - suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard the captain's voice. Susie must have hacked into the channel and connected to Shepard. And she's probably the one who woke Shepherd up. - What do you want, Aria?

- Shepherd. Please explain what's going on. As soon as a dead SPECTRE arrives on my station in a ship undetected by any scanner, it's a mess. You and your Geth, a Quarian woman and one of the most hardcore Terminus mercenaries, run over to Archangel, shoot three groups of mercenaries with some obscure weapons, and then thirty Vorka armed to the teeth run out of your ship and blow the Claws to smithereens. A few hours later, you and those Vorka take out a few dozen Collectors and save one of the best geneticists in the galaxy. Do you think I'm stupid or what?

- Having bugs loose on your station is your problem, Aria. Not mine" replied Shepard, who was definitely not in the mood.

- I don't give a damn about the bugs," Aria shouted. - What I care about is what you're armed with, Shepard. A ray gun, isn't it?

- You got it. What does that have to do with me? - Shepherd was definitely boiling over. So we're gonna have to take her out with heavy weapons.

- Don't play dumb with me, Shepherd. So listen to me carefully. Now you come to me without your team and explain what this was all about. Who Archangel is, why you want Mordin, what the Collectors want... You're also handing over your arsenal. In the meantime, I'll have my boys watch your ship.

- Aria, I cut in. - How's your Nyrin doing? - I was willing to bet any Normandy reactor that this would make Aria choke if she had anything in her mouth. - In the hospital, huh? Well, give her my compliments. I look at you two, and I see she has a very flexible back. Nairine and Aria were lovers. And judging from the Grey Mediator's dirt, very hot and passionate. As it turns out, Aria knows how to use her fingers for something other than their intended purpose.

- What did you just say? - Aria finally managed to say something, pulling herself together.

- You heard right, lilac angel... - Nairin gave Aria a nickname. It made her angry all the time. No, there was another nickname, "Lilac", but that one made Aria glow with biotics. On the other hand, Aria responded to Nyrin by calling the turian 'Spiky'. It was understandable. It's not pleasant when the chitin inside of you is moving around... It didn't matter what he was doing. But Nyrin loved it. She also liked scratching the Azari's back until it bled with her manicure. - Come on, we're not talking about your love affairs; we're talking business. There's someone here to talk to you. Shepard and I will be on the sidelines, but you better sit down if you're standing," and with those words, I connected her to Kherd, who was already on standby thanks to my message.

****

Omega Station. The Afterlife Club.

- Who's that? - Aria asked dryly, already angry.

- Aria fucking T'Loak. Are you out of your fucking mind?! - screamed an angry, filtered voice from the other side of the transmission. - I don't think there's any point in you introducing the Grey Mediator, which I am, so let's get straight to the point. You lay a finger on Shepard, her ship and her crew, and everyone, you hear me, Aria, everyone on your crappy station who has a uni-tool, will get a record of all your negotiations with the Matriarch Council of the Azari Republics. You want to see if I'm bluffing, huh? - The voice went into an attack that Aria had no defence or countermeasures against. She realised that if she refused, her life would be over by the end of the standard twenty-four hours. After all, she was essentially serving this Matriarch Council. Giving 30% of the profits she made from all the mercenaries, traders, smugglers, etc. Turned in some pirates to the Republic and sometimes turned in future pirate attacks. And Goddess forbid everyone find out about it at once. Aria realised she had tried to bite off more than she could swallow and couldn't bite back. Shepard is protected by the Mediator, and that guy, or whatever he is, is no joke. If he wants to kill, he'll kill. And not with his own hands and not for his own money. And now Aria had a decision to make. Even though there was nothing to decide.

- No. I get it," she said shortly and switched off the connection, then called the mercenaries to call them off.

****

Frigate "Normandie-SR2"

Pilot's Cockpit

- You're a real piece of work," said Shepard, who was already dressed and standing there listening to the Grey Mediator yells at the Omega Queen herself. This is what it means to have information.

- There's no time for pleasantries," I replied.

- Captain, we've been unlocked. Where are we going? - Joker asked.

- Illium," Shepard answered briefly and went to her quarters. She looked sleepy, after all.

****

Illium

- Illium, this is the Normandy. Request permission to enter the atmosphere," Joker said, and I was just in the co-pilot's seat.

- "Normandy, have you paid for the landing dock? - Asked the voice of a pretty azari who was most likely a maiden.

- Illium, the Normandy is owned by Araba Tecnologico Industriale. Request landing vector to the Delta plant," I said, but in Joker's voice.

- Um... Y-yes, of course. Sending you the vector," the message returned after half a minute, and Joker looked at me reproachfully.

- Why do you like doing this so much?

- And why do you like messing with Shepard so much? Once you find the answer, you can answer two questions at once," I replied calmly, and Joker had already entered the atmosphere of Illium. And as luck would have it, it was raining today. And it was a good one, concrete like in the jungle. It was the only thing I needed was this gloom.

****

Delta Plant.

- Well, here it is, my factory. One of a hundred and thirty, so to speak," I announced as our group left Normandy.

- What do they make here? - Tali asked, looking at the massive dock.

- Armour for the Jags. They're with me now, so we're trying to rearm them.

- You've elevated the Jags? An ill-considered decision. Reckless. A repeat of the Krogan story," Mordin began to ramble.

- Don't worry. They're under my command," Mordin didn't argue. No one had slept since leaving Omega. Everyone was doing something: Mordin was dissecting the poor Collector, Tali was throwing biotics at crates in the hangar, Zaid was trying out all our weapons, Garrus was working on the gun, and Joker was chatting with Susie. Shepard was the only one who'd had a good night's sleep and was in a cheerful state of mind. - Okay, I'll leave you two alone. You're barely on your feet as it is. Go to bed," Shepard smiled at my actual order. It had already taken her a lot of effort to get Garrus away from the main gun and Zaid and Tali away from shooting and throwing crates, respectively. Anyway, everyone immediately dispersed to the rooms here, favoured by the vorka butlers we had. But when everyone was gone, Shepard came up to me.

- Legate.

- Yes," I said.

- Listen, I've been meaning to... Anyway, I want to go to Liara's now.

- Now? - I was surprised and looked outside. Doc covered the biotic shield to keep us from flooding, but a hurricane was behind it. - In this weather? Do you think Liara's in a mood right now?

- Well, I'll make her happy," the captain said with a smile. - Except I don't have anything to wear. You know, something simple. I don't know much about clothes.

- Yes, there are civilian clothes for you. We didn't have time to put them in; you were kidnapped. Oh, all right. Just go to your room, it's all there. You'll find it on the instrumentation.

- Thank you, Legatus.

- But they'll still take you. If you just call a taxi here, it'll raise suspicion.

- Yeah, you're right. All right, I'll see you later.

- See you, Shepherd. Good luck.

****

Illium

Nos Astra

Star Pearl residential skyscraper

Jane Shepherd

Here it is, the house where Liara lives. It's a lovely house, I can't tell you that. And it's on the 130th floor. Looks like Liara's become an excellent broker. Well, it's time. It's now or never.

I entered the skyscraper and went straight to the lift. The rich finishes pleased the eye, and the ride arrived after only about 15 seconds. Not like on The Citadel.

In a rush, I involuntarily started twitching. My neck stiffened, my leg itched, and my eyes stung. Okay, Jane, calm down. Everything's gonna be okay. Now you'll come round, and she'll see you're alive and... And then what? It's foolish to expect her to throw herself at me. No, there'll probably be tears. She'll probably be angry, though. Yeah, angry that I'm dead. Oh, that's gonna be a tough conversation.

Where do I even start? Shit, I should have rehearsed this earlier instead of sleeping in the rain. No, really, where to start? Let's allow her to begin. Yeah, she's gonna ask me how that's possible. I'll tell her the truth. Or she'll just nail me with biotics or throw me out the window.

Or I catch her with someone else. No! No, she's not with anyone. Two years isn't enough for a human, let alone an Azaari.

Precisely, the Azari. They have a culture of saying goodbye to loved ones and finding new partners. It's because of their longevity. They don't live in the past; they always find a replacement.

But two years is nothing. The Azari live very slowly. I think she still needs to find someone. Though how do I know for sure...

The lift door opened, and I saw the entrance to Liara's flat ahead down the corridor. Except that last thought made me uneasy. Maybe she'd found someone else. Perhaps she wouldn't accept me. What if she- No, Jane. You have to. You've survived being boiled in the stomach juices of a thresher, and you're afraid to meet an Azari maiden. Well, no, it's now or never.

I took the first steps, and then I started to speed up. So much so that I barely slowed down at the end before I ran into a door. Pull yourself together, you wuss. So you can survive Elysium but can't just go to your ex? Then why did the Legatus choose you and bring you back to life? No, come on, Jane, pull yourself together. You can do this.

A ringing sound came from the other end as I pressed the sensor. But no one answered. After two times, silence again. Maybe she's away. All right, I'll have to hack in. I'll wait for Liara to get home from work. Fortunately, Legat's toolkit was well made, so it only took seven seconds to break in. Well, considering how powerful this instrument is, that only indicates a sound defence system.

As I entered the flat and walked further, I realised Liara lived large. Couches, a large window five metres high, a ceiling like this. A first floor with two spiral staircases leading up to it. On the side was the kitchen. All around the living room, and I was sure it was a living room, were several display cases and, in them, some stones. They were probably protean. They just have some letters on them.

I walked over to the window and looked at Illium, which was embraced by lousy weather. There were occasional lightning bolts, followed by thunderclaps. It was kind of depressing. It only made an already strange mood worse. And then there's the waiting.

- Listen, why are you kicking me out, eh? - There was a voice that sounded utterly unfamiliar. And it was a man's.

- I told you to leave as early as possible today," God, it was Liara. I mean, she was here. But then why didn't she open the door?

- Did you even look out the window? It's pouring, for fuck's sake," someone started coming down the stairs, and I turned round. But there was only a copper-coloured drill wearing nothing but his pants. Did...

- I don't care what's outside my window. Get out of my flat," Liara started to come down the stairs... Wearing only a white T-shirt and white panties. God, she... She hadn't changed at all, but... No, no, no, no, did they...

- Oh, come on. Why is it that every time after a wild night out, you want me to leave? In some cases, you biotically kick me out.

- Because I want to work. And by the way, there's work for you too... Are you even listening to me? - None of them even noticed me, and I didn't care. And the fact that the drell was finally paying attention to me, I didn't care either. I'd already figured it out.

- Um... Who's that? - The drell pointed the finger at me, and Liara looked at me. The angry look immediately changed to a surprised look. Surprised to the core. I was the last person she expected to see.

- Sh-Shep-ard... H-how... Oh... Oh-where..." Liara couldn't find the words to say anything.

- Y-so you're... You're... It's...

- She-Shepard, I... I can explain everything... I can explain everything..." Liara tried to say something and, at the same time, tried to come to me.

- No... Oh... Get away... Don't... Don't... Stay away... I... I... I... - I suddenly began to feel my legs refuse to work. Stars started running in front of my eyes; I could already feel my heart beating like crazy... It felt like it was all a dream. I wanted it to be a dream... God, why... Why are you doing this to me... I didn't want anything else. I just wanted to have someone.

I couldn't say anything else. My legs became cotton, and I fell to the floor. An overwhelming weakness completely enveloped my body, and my eyes began to slowly close. The last thing I saw was Liara's eyes in front of my face, shouting something, but her voice was somehow dull as if she was speaking from underwater. After another second, my eyes closed completely, and I saw darkness.

Consciousness returned slowly. The first thing I heard was the sound of raindrops hitting the window. Then there was thunder, which made me want to curl up in a ball. I always did that when it rained in Cairo. Only then did the roof leak, and sometimes drop after drop, fall on my head, bringing me out of sleep and forcing me to put something in the hole or lie down on the other side, but then the drops fell on my feet.

Then came the realisation that I was not on the Normandy. The mattress was different, and I wore clothes I didn't normally wear. And suddenly I realised. Liara, drill... Shit... What I'd feared had happened. She had found someone else, after all. It was... Expected, Liara is about 18-19 years old by our standards, but... So fast? Does Azari forget things so quickly?

I didn't want to get up. No reason to. I just wanted to cry and didn't even want to open my eyes when I heard Liara's voice.

- Did you find anything, Glyph?

- No, Dr T'Soni. I could not identify the model of the artificial heart muscle that keeps Shepard's blood flowing. Nor did I recognise the neural implant connected to Shepard's brain. - explained the synthetic voice. It was most likely a drone.

- What the neural implant is for? Have you figured it out?

- Yes. It emits energy pulses that go directly to Shepard's brain. There's a seventy per cent probability that this neural implant keeps Shepherd's brain and heart muscle functional. Dr T'Soni, the scan on Shepherd's body detected ten unidentified virus species.

- So... okay, was it able to hack into her Instrametron?

- No. The Instrumentron has a triple five-digit encryption system. But that's not what's stopping me from breaking the defences. The instrument is synchronised with the neural implant in Shepard's brain. That's why only Shepard can use it.

- I see. Or maybe it can be hacked directly..." Liara didn't have time to say anything else. I snatched my instrument from her hand and crawled to the other end of the bed. Liara looked at me with a surprised look, and I looked at her. We stared at each other like that for about half a minute.

- Shepard," Liara said quietly, surprised.

- No. Don't. I... I understand. I'll go," I realised I was being redundant, so I didn't want to find out. I just got up on the other side of the bed and was about to leave when Liara stopped me.

- Shep... Jane, wait.

- Liara, don't. I get it.

- You don't understand anything," she exclaimed. - Let's... Let's just talk. Come on," Liara left the room, and I followed her. We came to the kitchen and sat on opposite sides of the table;- Maybe... You could explain how... -Liara tried to start, and I didn't torture her with silence.

- Remember the geth we were after?

- The Legate? Yes, I do. What does he have to do with this? - Liara was puzzled.

- He brought me back to life. He did. The brain was completely dead. This... implant in my brain keeps alive the virus embedded in my brain, thanks to which I retain my identity and memory. There are a few other viruses, but they're not the same. And Legatus built the new Normandy, and thanks to him, I've been able to start putting together a team.

- A team?

- Yeah. We're trying to stop the Collectors. In fact, he's getting serious about the Harvest. He even started his own company on Illium... Um... Araba... Tecnologico Industriale... Yes, that's the one... By the way, you hired Zaid Massani once... He's on our team. So is Garrus, along with Tali.

- Liara said quietly, but I could see she was surprised by all this news.

- Yes... And now... Now you'll explain it all to me...

- What do you want to hear? - Liara parried.

- Well, who is this Drell?

- Ah, Feron... Feron, he's... Eh, it's hard to explain, Shepard.

- You love him; I didn't ask the question. I'd already realised I'd just caught them arguing; it happens.

- What? No! Shepherd, I-- I don't--

- Liara, I understand everything. I'm dead; it's been two years; I'm not judging you--

- Shepherd! - Liara interrupted me, her voice soaked with pleading and... anguish. - I... I only love you, Jane. And Fearon... Ehhh... - Liara exhaled, gathering her thoughts - You see, when... You died, and the Normandy crashed, then... Everything was immediately destroyed... Mum's accounts were frozen, and I was almost declared her accomplice. The crew broke up, and everyone went their separate ways. You see, Jane, I've got no one left. No mother, no team, no you... I was alone... Then, when some of Mum's accounts were unfrozen and given to me, I decided to trade information. Somehow it was easy here on Illium, but... I was still lonely... I woke up alone in this flat... I cried out at night, waking up in a cold sweat, watching Normandy just being sawed away like butter with a knife... I... I just needed someone... Someone to hold me and let me know I wasn't alone. In the beginning I... I gave up and went to the Azure, that... Azari brothel... I had no choice; I couldn't stand it, but... It only made it worse... There was only lust there, and I wanted... Caress and... Tenderness. And then I got Fearon. He's one of my agents... The first time I couldn't forgive myself for it... I... I had a nervous breakdown after that, tearing the whole place apart. But then I realised that... After the night with him... I... I didn't have nightmares... I usually slept for three days... It was also then that I felt that with him, I was... Not alone... He was with me... Gentle... Gave me what I needed... Then it happened again and... again. I promised each time that it was the last time, asked for your forgiveness, and prayed that it would never happen again... But each time I... Realised that there was no other way to get rid of the nightmares... Then I began to enjoy it... Just physical satisfaction... Then it didn't matter anymore... The main thing was that I was not alone... That someone needed me in this world... Goddess, Jane, forgive me! Forgive me if you can. - Liara was already sobbing. She put her head on her hand and spoke into the table, and she was pounding on the table with her other hand. - I realise you might be angry, but just know this, Jane! You're the only one I love! I have never loved anyone in my entire life, and I will never love anyone else. Still, you! - And then Liara was silent, and the silence of the flat, which had so far been interrupted only by the crack of rain and the sound of thunder, was now interrupted by more crying and sobbing from Liara. She was now crying into her hands folded on the tabletop, and I... And I realised that I could only do one thing right now. Standing up from the table, I walked over to Liara, took her in my arms quickly, threw her onto my shoulder and carried her to her bedroom. When we got there, I simply threw Liara down on the bed. She looked at me with an uncomprehending look. However, I had already made up my mind. There was no point in talking to her now, so there was only one way to prove that we would be okay. I crawled on all fours over to Liara, covered her with my body, and then kissed my only lover passionately. She didn't respond right away. At first, she didn't understand what was happening, but then her tongue finally took action and entered my mouth. As we explored each other with our tongues, I slowly lowered my hand, slipped it down Liara's trousers and inserted a finger inside my azari. The excited moan that followed marked the beginning of our night.