39.

I woke up in the sterile and brightly lit medbay. The faint scent of disinfectant lingered in the air, mixing with the crisp Arizona desert breeze that drifted through the open window. Charles, his presence comforting, sat beside me, his touch gentle and cautious, aware of my aversion to certain physical contact. His deep gaze locked with mine as he spoke softly, the sound of his voice soothing yet tinged with concern.

"Good morning, honey," he greeted, his words laced with warmth. "You were regaining consciousness yesterday, but the effects of the medication still kept you in a haze. You weigh only 36 kilos, and without Magnum here, your recovery might take a bit longer."

His hand brushed against my arm, a tender gesture meant to offer solace in the face of unsettling news. I felt a chill grip my heart as he continued, his voice steady but filled with urgency.

"But, honey, I need to tell you something that won't be easy," he began, his eyes never leaving mine. "Damien was real. He existed within Damon, his malevolent twin, a presence that had been with him since childhood. And now, by some divine intervention, Damien has been torn away from Damon. He doesn't resemble Damon exactly, and there's a possibility he might come after you."

The weight of this revelation pressed upon me, the knowledge I had carried silently for years now unveiled, yet I remained physically weak. Charles's voice broke through the silence once more, his tone filled with a mix of concern and understanding.

"Damon is now free, but he has someone else," he revealed, his words hanging in the air. "She's already his wife, and though he won't divorce you, he loves this girl, Mariella. Damon and I, Adam, are energy creatures, just like Mimosa and Shadow. Mariella has her own companion in the form of a wolf named Shadow. But you, honey, you are something different. You are chaos. Not an energy creature, but an energy exploiter, an incredibly powerful siphon with tanks within your mind that collects various energies for you to draw upon. However, controlling this flow of energy will be crucial. We energy creatures can manipulate that energy, but you cannot. According to Mariella, Damon is also a wizard, although he hasn't fully embraced his abilities yet. They are here in this house. Would you like to meet them?"

I said, "Fine, I just need to get some clothes on me. I guess I am a little drugged yet to go into the shower. He was real. Why, I could never think about these out loud. Maybe I could have done something. But then again, that lesson was back at the hospital. It wasn't Damien, it was Damon. But who's the real Damon? And now I'm supposed to meet Damon, the real Damon and supposedly his only true soulmate."

Charles kissed me and said, "Honey. You know what? Now I have you all by Adam and me. Damon made his choice, and I am happy for him. Because we got you. You are mine, and little bitch, you better never forget it.." Charles's voice was growling. He was being pretty possessive of me.

I sighed; somehow, I felt like I had given up. I knew Damien was real. Why, why in God's name I let Damon convince me otherwise? And it had been Damon, not Damien. I should have been stronger to find some way to show him.

Charles said, "Well, I know, you had really instinct, but Damien manipulated Damon into believing that he was part of him to weaken Damon."

Somehow I knew that this was not gonna be easy but something that I had to do. I had to let Damon go. We were no more, and it was now time to let him go, to be with the one that he, whole truly loves.

As Charles explained it to me, my Damon, was a mere shell of true Damon. So that guy, he didn't exist. So this was hard and then this was easy. Because core Damon, I saw him very rarely and his feelings for me were not the same as that shell that Damien had somehow conjured.

I thought, "The irony of fate, well now I get to know how Damon must have felt when Charles came along." 

As I thought about my pondering, the room felt suffocating, the air thick with tension. The fluorescent lights above flickered, casting eerie shadows on the walls. The scent of antiseptic lingered in the air, a constant reminder of the hospital. My clothes clung uncomfortably to my skin, damp with perspiration.

Charles's kiss sent shivers down my spine, but his words were laced with possessiveness, his voice growing deeper and more menacing. I couldn't help but release a heavy sigh, a mixture of resignation and defeat. 

In my mind, I replayed the events, the confusion and doubt that had clouded my judgment. I had let Damon's manipulation convince me that Damien was just part of him, but now I knew better. The realization weighed on me, a heavy burden of regret.

Charles's words pierced through the silence, explaining Damien's deceit and the need to let Damon go. It was a bittersweet revelation, a mix of heartache and relief. The truth had been obscured, and now I had to accept the painful reality that Damon, the one I truly loved, was just a facade, a mere reflection of his true self.

The irony of fate struck me, the cruel twist of destiny. I now understood the anguish Damon must have felt when Charles entered our lives. But it was time to let go, to release Damon from the clutches of Damien and allow him to find his true soulmate.

As the weight of my decision settled upon me, a newfound strength emerged. The room seemed brighter, the walls no longer closing in on me. I took a deep breath, inhaled the scent of freedom, and embraced the path that lay ahead.

Charles said, his voice filled with empathy, "You don't, Mimi, honey, blame yourself for this. We know too. You were right, and we were wrong. We should have trusted you, and maybe we could have convinced Damon, but it is past now. He is free of Damien, and he is now alone for the first time. He is finding himself, and you can never know what the future holds, honey."

I thought bitterly, why not? I was not strong enough, and because of that, it took God to get Damon free. If I only had loved him more, been there for him. Maybe our love, what it once was, would have been enough. So many maybes. Our love died because I gave up. 

Charles continued, his voice tinged with sadness, "Has Damon ever told you his actual age? He is well over a thousand years old. If he hasn't figured it out himself, let alone anyone ever in a thousand years, then why should you, honey, be the one to discover it? Don't put so many expectations on yourself. You know Damon has had a lot of affairs, good and bad, and Damien hid, adjusted."

I would bitterly reply, "But there were signs, things I wondered about over the years, but I have to be a fucking slacker. Damien revealed himself to me then when I was nearly coined; I should have kept it in my mind. I found out back then, you know, Damon smells like passionfruit, and then Damien, like a wet dog, and I knew this, but I suspect sometimes that they were two different beings, well, I mean, Damon told me not to think, actually it was Damien, and he has played me with decades. I am an idiot. I was once so sure that Damien was not part of Damon, and I was right."

Charles said, his voice filled with reassurance, "Mimi, honey, you're not a slacker. The past is good to remember and learn from, but not to live in. You can't change the past."

At that moment, I looked at Charles passionately. Feeling a surge of emotions, I wrapped myself around him and kissed him passionately. I felt how weak I was, but something had woken properly inside me, and it made me hide my weakness for Charles. I had to be strong.

When I think of Damon, I cannot stop getting flashes from the shed session, and it was wrong as it was not Damon. But then again, for so many years, he hurt me, so many times, and twice killed me. How was I supposed to forget and move on?

Maybe he should have another woman because I felt nothing for him, other than a vague sense of relief. Our love, once the universe's strongest power, had been extinguished by Damien. But my love for Charles and Adam remained unwavering, despite Damien's manipulations.

Charles had shared many things about Mariella, and her wolf, Shadow. I could see Charles's deep affection for Mariella, and he confessed to having an intense lust energy, unable to promise faithfulness. Nevertheless, I would always be his number one. Numbness consumed me, but I pretended to be unaffected.

I rose from bed, took a shower, and dressed myself, symbolizing the end of the era between Damien and me. I bit my hair blonde, flowing down my back, embracing change. Charles adored my new hair color.

I assured him, "I only need you and Adam. Let's meet Damon's new woman, his new wife. It's better this way, as I still have haunting memories of the shed when I think of Damon."

I no longer needed him. The circle was complete. Decades ago, I had awakened in the same bed in this medbay, facing a new addition to our pack. I reminisced about our entire journey. Now it was time to release Damon. I knew he would be alright. I wouldn't abandon him. And now, we would meet the newest member of our pack. Welcoming another female into our pack would bring significant change.

I chuckled softly at the thought, Charles still the pack leader, his bite marking me as his mate long ago. I braced myself for what lay ahead. I had no idea what emotions would arise. Each time Damon had married someone else, I had fallen apart.

But this time, I felt something different. I hoped I could handle this encounter. This woman was not evil, not the daughter of a pharmacy boss, nor a vampire princess. With Charles and Adam by my side, my pillars of security, I vowed to be a good wife for as long as our marriage endured. I would let Damon go, forgive him, and move forward.

I was fully aware of what I was losing. It might be excruciating to witness love in his eyes for another, to catch the scent of passionfruit, but above all, I mourned for my Damon. This person, whoever he was, could never compare to the one who was once mine. Summoning all my self-control and inner strength, I enveloped myself in a protective shell. I harnessed the power of chaos and my own resolute will.

Even though I had suffered a lot at the hands of Damon/Damien, the eternal romantic or optimist in me had held on to all the good and wonderful moments of all these years. The sound of his laughter echoed in my mind, a melodic reminder of the joy we once shared. And yet, there had been plenty of those times that had made my soul sing. The sight of his smile, the way his eyes sparkled when he looked at me, those memories etched in my mind like a vivid painting.

But to know that he was no more, that was the hard part. The weight of that truth settled on my shoulders, a heavy burden that I couldn't shake off. I could still recall the scent of his cologne, a mixture of musk and warmth, the scent of his passionfruit lingering in the air whenever he was near. But now, that scent was just a fading memory, slowly dissipating into the abyss of time.

I knew and felt how my feelings for Damon had faded and diluted over the years. The touch of his hand, once so electrifying, had become a distant memory, like a soft breeze brushing against my skin. Now that there would be no more of those wonderful moments, I knew those feelings would fade with time, like footprints washed away by the tide.

But my love for Adam and Charles had not faded at all. Their presence brought a sense of calm and security, like a warm embrace on a cold winter's day. They were my anchors, my rock in the stormy sea of life. I myself was just recovering, the scars were still fresh, but now was a good time to start a new life. A life without shed sessions, without torture, and without Damon. The sound of freedom echoed in my ears, a symphony of liberation that drowned out the haunting whispers of the past.

But it would be our time with Adam and Charles, the sight of their smiles and the sound of their laughter, that would fill the void left by Damon's absence. And this constant bang of my conscience would be gone because Damon would be happy, too.

I thought, "Now I have to know how to let go."

The feeling of determination surged through my veins, like a surge of electricity, as I embraced the uncertainty of a future without him.

I got steel in my spine when I wondered if I was actually having a good time with Damon or Damien. The sight of his eyes, once filled with love, now held a flicker of doubt. I loved Charles and Adam more than anything. They were my saviors, my nurturers, my protectors even, but Damon was my first love, my soulmate. The touch of his lips against mine was a memory that still sent shivers down my spine.

But then, who would the real Damon be? He would no longer be mine if he even wanted to have anything to do with me at all if we ever even existed. The implications of this revelation were so great that I couldn't imagine how Damon would feel. When I didn't know him, who was he? Damon had many sides, but were any of them real? The feeling of uncertainty gnawed at my heart, a mix of fear and longing.

I knew my Damon was no more, and it was time to meet the real deal, the real Damon Salvatore. The anticipation hung in the air, like a thick fog, as I prepared myself for the unknown. The scent of possibility mingled with the scent of uncertainty, a heady combination that both excited and terrified me.