Chapter 1: My Paracosm

Ivy found herself walking down the pebble path; eyes darting around, searching for a familiar sight. She could feel her anxiety creeping up on her as she took bigger steps to hasten her little timid steps.

The scent of irises was wafting over the plains; hyping up her senses as she skipped in glee at the sight of purple pixels forming from afar. Sights of the plains of irises started to form; easing her nerves.

"This must be grandma's garden." Ivy thought as she took her steps hastily, giving in to the excitement she felt inside her every time she ran to her grandma after school. She was looking forward to her sumptuous noodles and desserts every time which increased the urgency of looking for her even more.

"Don't run, Ai Yee! Grandma will not leave..." She could hear her words ringing at the back of her head, reminding her, for fear she could injure herself on the way to her. She winced at her Chinese name which only her grandma addressed with as she ran even faster.

Ahead of her was a small cottage by the side of a huge arch of blue pea flowers. She could tell just from the milky floral fragrance from afar that they bloomed again today. Her eyes darted nearly 180 degrees as she was longing for the sight of her dear grandma.

It was sheepishly quiet as her kingdom of dogs would usually come by now or were playing everywhere if she was at the iris' plains. However, they were all nowhere to be seen today.

"Strange..." She thought.

She halted her way a little while to pick up some iris for her grandma but to her surprise, some of them looked charred as though someone burnt through the fields of them. The thoughts of something bad could happen to her grandma flew through her mind, as she sprinted towards the cottage. Chills were sent down her spine a couple of times as she tried comforting her racing heart from giving her any more adrenaline.

Out of the blue, as blue as the skies above her, flooded with cotton candy clouds; all she could see were bright red, orange and yellow radiance in a swirl of fire appearing from a portal which stunned her momentarily. Before she could make sense of the commotion, a few bunches of hideous black serpents were hissing through the portal, chasing towards her.

A sword instantly flew out of nowhere to her palm as though protecting her by magically moving her arms to fight using her force against the serpents. She was fixated at the red swirl of fire ball-like, flying around as though it was being chased by the other bunch of serpents with very high difficulty of fighting back.

Her senses were slowly returning to her as she put in more force to fight the serpents in front of her fearlessly with the thought of keeping her dog kingdom safe.

Just when she was about to tackle the final serpent, a swirl of fire ball was letting out an agonising sound of pain. She quickly flew towards it as she took the last hit on the last serpent.

"Since when I could? This is amazing!" She was shrieking with excitement in the midst of the chaos when she realised she could fly. Her excitement was quickly cut short when the fire-ball earlier perished into ashes on the ground beneath her.

That's when she realised; the night sky was lit with the shades of dancing aurora; the same view when she saw them with her parents when she was young except it was hard to not notice they were being a little more vibrant than usual.

She examined the ashes which were still releasing steam and some were burning in red embers. Curiosity was pushing her hands to touch them as she fought with her conscience to stop herself for fear it was deadly.

"Ai Yee!" A hysterical shriek was heard from behind and she recognised it. She stood to turn around and found herself quickly cooped up in her grandma's embrace.

"Are you alright? I didn't expect you to come now at this hour. Oh Ai Yee, thank goodness you're alright!" Grandma patted her back slowly as though comforting herself at the same time.

She half opened her mouth wanting to ask the circumstances but her grandma's warm embrace was so surreal; one which she had longed ever since she had passed away and also the reason she kept coming back for more. She eased more comfortably into her hug and tightened her own hug which she could tell, almost crushed her grandma's frail body frame.

"Alright, enough hugs! Come, come... I had prepared some food for you and our guest..." She quickly ran into the cottage leaving Ivy in a daze. "A guest?" She thought to herself as she twirled to look at the steaming ashes cooling down itself before realising her the vision in front of her was getting smaller.

"Wait grandma! Wait for me! Who are you talking about?" She was calling out loud to her but the visions of her and the cottage seemed to get blurry. Fear was ripping off Ivy.

She was trying hard to get a clearer vision as she forced her way closer to the cottage but instead a huge blow came towards the right side of her face, taking her off guard and the next thing she saw there was darkness.

Sharp needle pricks of pains were felt all over her body and face as she tried to map out her mind of all the chaotic events. She tried to open her eyes slowly as bright rays of light were shining towards her.

The familiar oscillating shadow of the fan up in the ceiling brought her senses back to reality. She was in her room, facing the ceiling on the floor.

She had been fidgeting in her sleep again; awake to find herself fallen off bed. She must have accidentally fallen back asleep after switching her alarm off but she wanted to sleep in some more although it was nearly twelve. She failed to coax herself to sleep any further although she wanted so much to feel that warmth embrace from her grandma again. She sat in bed counting her blessings for not having sleep paralysis again while enjoying the serenity.

"Sleep disorder. When will I ever recover?", she thought. "Maybe I shouldn't. That way I can always head back to my world; a place I felt safe and loved more than ever..." She lied in bed facing the oscillating fan, questioning herself.

"Why didn't my parents come to visit knowing their mother or in law had left this world?"

"It was not as though my grandmother was not somebody famous. Her spicy noodles had always been well known in this town."

"How could they turn a blind eye to someone who had given her blessings for their marriage and protecting her grandchild from nearly being aborted?"

Her grandma used to tell her, she may be an accident to her parents but she was a miracle to her. Her parents were divorced when she was young enough to attend primary school and the child custody was given to her grandma who was her mother's mother.

Apparently, her mother was too young to understand anything about growing up and taking responsibilities of her family. Her grandma used to tell her she grew up well, following the traits of her father but it was too unfortunate of him to have met her mother who was too immature at that point of time. Her grandma often blamed herself for not bringing up her own daughter well and Ivy knew somewhere in her was seeking redemption in saving Ivy from being aborted but to raise her all by herself.

Her mother had ensured all contacts with her father were disconnected when they divorce. Perhaps, she shouldn't have blamed him since contacts were cut and maybe a restraining order was filed against him before.

These questions had been haunting her nearly every night. She was afraid she would fall into this further depression without any hope of getting out but the dreams were always the most comforting remedy of her grandma's presence.

Time seemed to pass really fast when she had all the time on her hand to day dream instead of sleep. She did not want to move a single inch as she heard the birds chirping to a sunny day which had replaced the loud noises of pots clanking in the kitchen at this hour when her grandma was around; preparing her favorite chicken soup for lunch. Every time a dream of her grandma would pull her further down into her grief of losing her a few months ago due to old age and perhaps worsen her sleep disorders.

"Ivy!" Ivy rolled her eyes with the thought of her neighbour's daughter, Sandra was at the door. If she did not get up anytime soon, Sandra would help herself in with the spare keys and found out she had been slipping into a close call of sleep paralysis again; a term Andrew, another neighbor's son who lives down a few blocks away, labeled it.

x

Andrew was another neighbor's son whom Sandra and Ivy grew up with. He stayed a few blocks away from both of them. He was always finding things to argue with them since young that he had grown to be Ivy's debate partner in high school competitions. Despite all of them bickering so much when they were young, both Andrew and Sandra have immense interest in psychology which Ivy was also keen but knew she would never make it due to her poor results in her science subjects.

"Ivy, if you don't wake now, I'm coming in! I need help with maths!" Sandra was getting annoyed and Ivy could tell as she jolted up from bed and shoved all her miseries back deep inside her conscience, bringing out a different self to greet Sandra.

"Yes! You're so noisy and it's only nearly twelve Sandra! Spare me some sleep please.." Ivy pleaded with her as Sandra quickly shut the door behind her and sat Ivy down next to her on her study table.

"Come, come.. Please help me..." I want to finish it before the college's induction event tonight!" She flipped the pages so fast that by watching her being enthusiastic about finishing her homework made Ivy feel guilty if she were to reject teaching her that Ivy switched her attention to the questions Sandra had issues with.

The first year of college just started and Ivy guessed the waves of changes came upon her in one shot.

She was grateful for all that Sandra's family had done for her while she tried coping with her grandma's passing these few months and pulled her through to finish high school. Ever since, Sandra's mother, Aunty Soh who used to help out with Ivy's grandma's famous noodle store has been very busy juggling two branches. Ivy was worried she might quit due to the tremendous pressure but thankfully she was more than willing to help. Besides, she was the only one who could master her grandma's noodle recipe; closest to her grandma's.

While she was busy solving standard equations for Sandra, Andrew seemed to know just when to find them. Sandra went to open the door for him and the smell of Ivy's favorite chicken porridge was wafting through the doorway.

"Lunch delivery!" Andrew walked into the house jiggling his phone with the bell soundtrack. "Oh you're awake! Hey, I need your help Ivy with history!" He quickly unpack the porridge and serve Ivy while she sat in between them.

"Excuse me, but..." Ivy wanted to reject helping both of them but she thought Andrew was an expert in math so she should enjoy her lunch while explaining the history points to him.

Foundation year's subjects were similar to high school as it prepared them for the faculty they were going to choose. Even so, Ivy still cannot make up her mind whether to take on law, which was her forte since she was crowned the Queen of debate in high school or business administration which would be more relevant for her if she wanted to watch over her grandma's restaurant for a very long time. Perhaps grandma would love that but Aunty Soh told Ivy to choose law and never worry about any legal matters in business again.

It made sense but Ivy was still uncertain. Besides, she looked forward to a part time intern job which hopefully could help her to decide.

"You know what. You should help her with her math while I..." Ivy stood to swap places with Andrew and took the first mouthful of porridge. "Sit here to read your history miseries..."

Ivy took her sweet time with his questions instead while she enjoyed the porridge as her thoughts lingered back to her dreams. She wondered whom the guest grandma addressed.

If only she could fall back asleep and dream again. She knew she would but not often the dreams continue from where they stopped.

She felt a nudge from Andrew and instantly shoved away her day dreaming. "Stop day-dreaming Ivy! Finish your food faster before it gets cold..."

She nodded as she gorged on bigger mouths of porridge. Ivy's days were never without chaos around them. Not that she minded but sometimes she preferred solitary where she could search deep in her soul and stay in her thoughts without having to be judged. Other than the serene moment, the soft gentle breeze has always been a great companion.