CHAPTER 42: ROSE

A Month passed, Ryan kept his word.

He didn't send me our divorce papers.

According to Finn, John never prepared any divorce papers.

"Even if he had, Ryan would've ripped them apart." Finn said.

I knew what he was trying to do.

And worst of all, I was relieved that he didn't send it.

This past month, Ryan had sent me tons of presents.

A book bouquet for every week.

I haven't opened any of them.

They're all sitting on my desk, untouched.

He sent me almost every book I want. And as much as I want to read those books, I always stop myself. Because once I pick up that book, I will never forget who sent it.

I told Bree to call Ryan and tell him not to send any more gifts.

She did.

He simply said "I will keep sending gifts till she forgives me and comes home."

It was the way he said 'home' that tied a knot in my chest.

He still calls his house my home and my heart agrees.

I've blocked him from everywhere so he can't contact me.

If Ryan wasn't enough, I'm facing more problems with apartment hunting.

I've went through 5 perfect small apartments and put my deal on it but I didn't get one of them.

When I try to contact the owner, they either ignore me or say "we're sorry but someone else put a higher deal on it."

That's the same sentence I've just heard right now.

I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to stay calm.

"Can you talk to them, please? I need this apartment as soon as I can get it." I say, trying to sound as much convincing as I can.

"I'm sorry, kid."

I sigh

"Have a good day." He says before he hangs up.

I move the phone from my ear and glare at it as if it's the phone's fault.

I sigh in defeat.

Someone knocks on my door.

"There's something for you." Finn's voice comes through the door.

My blood boils.

I know what it is and who sent it.

I open the door and Finn's standing in front of me with a grin.

He enjoys watching me get pissed at every gift Ryan sends.

"The cover's really pretty." Is what he says when I raise my eye brow

"I'm sure it is." I say, annoyed.

I walk past him towards the stairs going down.

Finn behind me.

As I step on the last step, I see the bouquet placed on the counter table.

I take a deep breath and walk towards it.

I stop and stare at it.

"He kept his word." Bree says.

I look up.

She's standing across the counter with her lips forming a thin line.

I look down at the bouquet.

It has 3 of the new published books from my favorite authors wrapped in a red wrapper in a shape of a bouquet. There are rose flowers tucked in front of the books and the bouquet is tied with a golden ribbon.

I pick up the bouquet and smell the flowers.

I don't know if Ryan sends roses because my name is the same or because he actually knows that my favorite flower is rose.

"For how long are you going to give my best friend a cold shoulder?" Finn asks.

I look at him.

He's standing beside Bree, leaning in with his arms resting on the counter.

His eye brow raised in my direction.

"He doesn't understand- I asked him for the divorce papers not book bouquet."

I stop myself.

I look in Bree's direction and watch as her expression forms into pain only for a second before she wipes it off.

Bree still wants us to be together.

Finn decides to change the subject.

"What happened to the apartment you chose last week?" He asks

I look at him

"The owner decided to give it someone who put more money on it." I say, pissed

Finn nods.

I catch him as he presses his lips together to hold back his smile before he ducks his head down, clearing his throat.

"Finn."

He looks up

"Yeah?"

"You know something." I say

He stares at me.

Bree's head turns towards us.

"What" he says

"About the apartment... You know something." I frown "do you know this guy who always steals away-"

I gasp.

"Ryan," is all I say.

"About time you figured it out." Finn says with a scoff

"He's doing all this?!" I'm suddenly annoyed-

The hell I am.

I've been going through multiple apartments trying to find one so I can finally move out and stop being a burden on Bree and Finn and Ryan decides to pull one of his jokes.

"He doesn't want you to move out." Finn says

"Tell him to stop playing games."

He raises an eye brow at me like I'm crazy "do you not know Ryan?"

He's right. Ryan won't stop just because Finn told him to. Or I did.

Bree called him and he said no.

There's no stopping Ryan Hartford.

Bree finally speaks

"He's coming tomorrow for Sarah's birthday,"

We look at her.

"If you want, you can tell him 'no' face to face tomorrow." She continues

I stare at Bree.

I can tell she doesn't want to suggest this idea.

She's hurt.

But I can't keep up with Ryan's actions.

He has apologized multiple times but my mind still hasn't wrapped around the situation properly.

I don't want to get hurt again.

I nod at Bree.

"I will. Thanks."

Bree gives me a sad smile as she nods and goes back to cutting vegetables.

I turn to look at Finn.

He's staring at Bree with a sad look in his eyes.

I've never seen Finn like this.

He's always bright and cheery.

But he also loves Bree. And I can tell seeing her sad like that vanishes the brightness within him.

Maybe he's also sad because I'm not going back to Ryan.

I know how much Ryan means to Finn. They've always been like brothers.

Ryan doesn't like putting up with people's things but he never pushed Finn away.

Even when Finn told Ryan about his relationship with Bree, Ryan lashed out but deep down he was relieved that Bree is with Finn. He knows Finn will never hurt Bree and he never did. Not once.

My chest suddenly aches.

Am I guilty?

About what? Not going back to Ryan?

Not listening to your heart.

An inner voice speaks to me.

I hear these kind of voice when I'm heading to bed, telling me to listen to my heart.

It has told me multiple times to forgive Ryan, mom and dad for lying to me. To listen to my heart and ease the pain.

But how could my heart want me to go back to someone who hurt my trust?

Because he's always been your safe place.

----♡----

I walk in the room, holding the new bouquet sent by Ryan.

I place it on my desk along with all the other bouquets.

I sit on my bed cross legged, releasing a heavy sigh.

I stare at the boxes placed by my closet.

2 weeks ago, I requested Finn to bring my documents box from Ryan's attic and he did.

I wanted to know who my real father is. I still want to.

But 2 weeks has passed and I still haven't opened it to find my birth certificate.

A part of me doesn't want to.

But I need to heal a part of me. A part of me who has been lied to by my parents.

However, the part which was hurt my Ryan started healing the day he came to apologize.

The only time my heart ached during that time was when I asked for divorce.

I shake off my thoughts and let my head fall between my shoulder as I take deep breaths.

I debate whether or not I should try to find my birth certificate.

Even if I do, I don't know if my real father even knows he has a daughter. What if mom hid it from him? What if they destroyed my birth certificate so that I never find out who my real father is? Why did they have to hide it in the first place? Were they scared I'd leave or something?

I don't even realize I've gotten up from my bed till I'm towering the box.

I stare at it for a moment before taking my seat on the ground, sitting crossed legged.

I take a deep breath before I open the box and start going through my documents.

What's the worst that could happen?