Why is my head hurting?

A couple of hours later, inside the same tavern, at the same corner table, two people were leaning on each other and sobbing uncontrollably while shouting all sorts of nonsensical things.

"She didn't even recognize me, Grandpa… ha ha… hic.. she gave me a look as if I am some kind of stalker… hic… women are the worst."

"Which bitch did this to my cute grandson… tell me… I will gut that damn hoe from head to toe using a hoe… hic."

"Another one grandpa… ran away! Hic! She ran away when I tried to approach her! Hic! Does your cute grandson look like a monster to her? Hic"

he old man hiccupped loudly, then patted Kaden on the back, nearly toppling him over. "Ah, the travails of youth. You think you have it bad? Hic! Try having a hundred years of romantic failures under your belt!"

Kaden snorted, lifting his glass. "Only a hundred? You're slacking, Grandpa."