Chapter 37: To Love and Be Loved

Hello friends and lovers!

HAPPY CHAPPY DAY

Welcome to the end of Arch One of Sun Spoken Turn and probably one of my favorite chapters I have ever written. Topping this will be hard, but... I am going to try and do it!!!

AND AS PROMISED!!!

I am Hosting an BIG Q&A in the comments of THIS chapter.

Rules are that you have to ask a character from this story the question, can't do spoilery things, and can expect much snark from some of them!

Content warning: BIG emotions. Gender Euphoria.

A storm, horrid and unrelenting.

No dreams, no nightmares, just… pain. Agony like cold lightning rolling up my leg, while a throbbing heat smothers the mind. I can feel everything dying as my spirit burns itself away in attempts to unlatch from another and resettle. Torn and ravaged as the mind melts inside the Amwella fire stoked to try and save me.

It felt like an eternity. Days and weeks and months and years and ages and ages of such fucking pain. Pain that seems to purge all thought and memory and sense of self. I… I worry blearily if I'll ever wake up? Feel the World Song pass over and through me as if I'm already dead and floating down the river. Almost… almost wish I could just get some actual sleep!

A jerk forward. And I try to growl at the World Song to stop tormenting me, try to turn over… but… find I am bound and tied. I struggle, fight to breathe as terror overcomes me. Try to scream, find that something smothers even that.

Wh… What!?! I panic. Did… No no no. Please. Don't say they already sent me down the river!!! I'm… I'm not dead!!!

Then my eyes crack open, and I'm greeted with… cold? I blink at the snow-filled forest that slowly passes overhead. Peaceful besides little hoots, trills and murmured words that slowly become clear.

So cold? Did… Did I fall asleep on the beach? How… Why haven't I been brought back to the temple? Fuck… I hope I didn't use up my free days sleeping!

But then there is a bump, a jostle, and my leg explodes with horrible pain.

Oh… oh fuck. It's a pain beyond yelling or shouting, so suffocating and overwhelming that all I can do is shake and nearly lose all lucidity. Vision goes dark and wiggly for what must be a few moments.

I realize then that my hands aren't restrained, so I begin to feel about. Find I am wrapped in blankets and warm clothes. Honestly around everything, including my mouth and head, and big fluffy somethings around my hands. I wriggle, and oh fuck that was a horrible idea. I bump my leg against something and can't help but hiss and twitch at another jolt of pain.

What… what's wrong with my leg!?! Fuck… If I broke it, Sangoma is going to be so upset!

When the pain settles a bit, I carefully reach down again and find the ropes that bind me to this weird moving bed thing. Discover little knots that I can begin to unbind. They aren't hard or complex things. Just tight. So once they pop free I am loose to sit up, begin untying my legs. It's then I notice all the snow around me, and the path this little bed thing is being pulled on.

Since when do our beaches have this many trees? Did I wander down the Dune Wall? Get… Get caught in an undertow and almost drown?

As I work the throbbing in my leg pulses again, and I can't help but wince.

Definitely broken. Fuck. This is so bad. Sangoma is going to kill me. But… but I can still… um… well Teddiel was able to go back to his duties after just a week. So… she's probably expecting me to do the same. Fuck. What even happened?

I pull the last knot loose, the blankets free, and begin to lift and turn myself to…

The pain is nothing compared to the spike of cold that rolls through me as I see my right leg. Everything… everything is just… gone. Barely anything beneath the right knee remains.

I feel my eyes go wide, breath catches in my throat as I sit half turned off this little sled starring in horror at the ugly lump of cloth where my leg should be.

"Ina!" Someone shouts. And I turn to see… A big fucking bird? A Quelekita with ropes attached so it can pull my sled, and a group of four women. All bundled in heavy cloaks and hoods. At that shout they all are turning to look at me with wide eyes.

One of them is suddenly racing toward me. I jerk back in sudden panic and confusion. Lose my balance, and like the clumsy person I am, go tumbling off the other side of the sled. Even with the soft layer of snow the impact sends a horrid rush of pain through me. Causes me to hiss and jerk.

"Fuck fuck fuck." Someone spits as hands wrap around my shoulder and thigh. "Help me get her back up."

Her!?!

H…How do they… I'm lifted, and the pain interrupts most of the thought. Do… But they had to have dressed me. Did they not see that my body is that of the breeding males?

"W… Where am I?" I blubber as three women lay me back on top of the sled.

"Safe." Another assures me, pulls back whatever covers my mouth and I feel warm fingers touch my cheek. "We're on the road. Just passed over the Arudian Border."

"Wh… What!?!" I nearly yelp, eyes focus to show a woman with nice ginger hair as she pulls a scarf down to reveal a soft face with little sparkles across her skin. "Arudia!?! B– But How…"

"You've been out for about a week." A taller woman takes my hand, pulls down a scarf to reveal deep darker skin. "How awake are you? You've almost come to a few times before now. But never got far."

"I… I don't know. It's… I'm from Lyttoral." My voice sounds… strange. Soft, higher pitch. But I just assume it's a cold or something. "How did I get to Arudia?"

Then a woman with light reddish skin takes my other hand and kneels over me. Confusion plain on her face.

"What happened to my leg?" I sob, tears of pain and sadness begin to roll down my cheeks.

A pause. The women look at each other with worry in their eyes.

"Ina?" The sparkles one asks. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Ina? But… Why are they calling me...

Inamatorii. Meaning to love and be loved.

A drop… and the name jerks a memory into my mind. Of a big scary spirit invading my mind, then giving me… myself. Tearing apart the old body with a storm of wrath and ruin, and making a perfect one for the spirit within.

This body, warm and wonderful and… A deep breath seems to roll sensations through my body. Alerts me to tiny differences She wove. I can't help but let out a giggle as tears roll down my cheeks. "I'm free."

"Ina? What–"

But I can't hear them as another memory washes through me. One of warm smiles and loving kisses beneath the stars. The first of many wonderful embraces with my lover.

Wh… what is her…

"Yrelia." I whisper. Hoping hoping hoping she wasn't just a dream!

"I'm here!" She whispers from beside me.

Not just one… Squished between two blazing infernos. Finally, drawing up the courage to ask this second amazing woman if she'd like to join us…

And then there were two.

"Ta… Tasii?"

Another pause, and my second lover is leaning over me. "Ina, what's wrong?"

"It wasn't just a dream!" I cry through sobs of joy and pull their hands close to my chest.

And over the next hour, I reclaim memories of my new life as my lovers crowd around me. Flailing and worried and trying to understand the waves of little wonderful things that return to me. At some point the decision is made to try and camp right there on the side of the Path. Yrelia sits with me while Tasii and the two others… Can't… Can't seem to find their…

"I… I remember them!" I murmur. "Their names are just… It's like everything is covered in thick mud. Hard to clean it all off enough to hear the words."

"Take your time." Yrelia squeezes me tighter, careful to avoid shaking me. "You… it was mentioned that your mind needed to heal."

I huff, twitch of guilt pricking at my bubble of joy. "I don't want them to think that I don't care for them. That… that they're not important to me or…"

Yrelia coos and kisses me on the head. "They know. Just ask if you need to."

"Mkay." I lean into her. Then a jolt of pain from my maimed leg sends me into a hissing grunting flail.

"Fuck." She pulls back and tries to support me. "Sorry."

"But…" I grit my teeth and shake my head as I glare down at my leg. "This… fuck… This fucking sucks!"

She sighs. "Yeah… I just hope the re-growth is quick."

I jerk to face her. "What!?"

Yrelia pauses, winces. "Kque said you mentioned you could grow it back. In… like… a couple years or so?"

"Kque!" I nearly yelp, "With the pretty sparkles! But… it's short for… um…" I trail off, then ask. "But… I really said that I could regrow my leg?"

Yrelia nods. Seems… annoyed at something. "Yeah, that night. After you came back to us."

I don't… there are flashes. There… there is something missing though.

"How?" I squeeze the hand that holds mine.

"I assume with some more of that song magic." She touches her perfect and soft face, and seems to look at something far away.

Magic. I… I can learn magic!?! I already know Magic?

"Wh… song magic?" I stammer, "I… I can…"

Then I hear it. For just a second. The World Song. The little tittering harmony that wraps around and through everything. Too deep to mimic, a thrumming storm rolling beneath us. It almost… then it's overwhelming me!

"Oh… I…" Head begins to hurt again as I focus too hard on it. I reach up and hold my forehead in my hands. "Ow ow ow."

"Ina? You… What is it?" Yrelia leans down to try and see my face. "Do you need to lay down?"

"No, just… head hurts."

A single red eye. Three women lay bleeding in the snow. Then a song of possessive fucking rage over our dying lover. Tasii's blood and bile and death fills our nostrils as we sing her back to us.

I gag, end up rolling to the side, vomiting sick into the snow. Yrelia moves to kneel beside me, helps keep my beautiful hair from getting messy. Shushes and coos encouragement as I recover from the memory.

"Yrelia." I stammer. "Did… Did I… Was Tasii hurt or–"

"It's okay. She's okay!" Yrelia coos in worry and comfort. "Just breathe, Ina. Deep breaths!"

Deep breaths.

Then we are plunged into another memory.

Blade at her neck. "Question Question" we taunt. A crack in the World Song followed by horrid pain. Then we repay the debts by ending the corpsefucker's song.

I would sob through a scream at the memory of her still and dead body beneath us, but a heavy bout of dry heaving on an empty stomach stops me.

"Fuck." Yrelia hisses, "Kque!"

"We're okay." I choke out.

There is a long pause, only interrupted when Kque arrives. "What's wrong?"

"Ina?" Yrelia murmurs. Hard and… something.

I look up to her worried face and… catch a glimpse of rage. Then she sees my eyes and calms.

"Just you in there?" She asks carefully, trying to a smile again.

"Just… me?" I tilt my head. "I don't understand."

"You said We're okay." She presses. "Are you alone in your own head right now?"

Why would I not be… Alone? The void sits beside my thoughts. Gaping and horrible and a sudden reminder of how incomplete I am without... someone else. I... I can't remember...

I begin to panic, start breathing faster and...

But then Yrelia takes my chin, and I can't stop a sudden warm pressure from bubbling in my chest and beginning to ooze down. Down… Down…

"Are you alone?" She presses as my panic stutters and dies in her hands.

"Yeah. Just…" I reach up and touch the healed half of her face. Feel tears at the flashing memories of her wounds. "Didn't remember till now. It's… it's a lot to deal with at once."

She nods, and seems satisfied. Smile returns to a soft and caring thing.

"Yrelia…" Kque murmurs. "We shouldn't push her on this. Let her remember at her own pace."

"She was!" I reach out and touch Kque's hand. "Everything is still kinda popping back into place. Sometimes it hurts and… and I was just remembering the last night I was awake. How we… uh… Oh. OH!"

Begin to recall the taste of second lips and the warmth of her Amwella…

Then there were four. Jevita and Kque and Yrelia and Tasii.

"We had sex!?! All of us!?!" I squeal and must blush horribly because when they both glance back neither can stop little smirks. Kque giggles and kisses my gloved hand.

"It doesn't count." Yrelia sighs. "We'll need to try something much more… exciting, and less rushed, next time."

Next time!?!?

Like rain down a window, more memories wash through me. Four lovers refusing to leave me to… to… suffer a terrible storm alone.

"I don't think I would have… would have come back if…" I whisper, feeling tears roll down my face as the rest of that night solidifies into a bit more clarity. "You all… you all shared yourselves with me… and…"

Saved me.

It takes me a while to calm down after that. Every time I look into one of my lover's eyes I melt into a puddle of wonderful loving sobs. End up needing a few dozen hugs and snugs as they finish setting up a little campsite as the sun sets. I am so grateful we have to all kinda… pile together against our giant Quelekita to ward off the cold. Even with my leg throbbing and biting I can't help but fall asleep with a big grin on my face amidst my lover's.

She greets me with a warmth I can hardly bear. Impossibly eternal arms weave about me in a joyous hug while dark lips can't stop pecking and tracing all across my face. All while furious violet eyes try to constantly stay locked with mine somehow.

It takes me a while to… to understand. Even amidst uncanny dream logic I am confused and perplexed by Her affections. Have to… to apologize and ask Her to help me understand who She is and where I am.

Where are my Lovers? Who… who are you? Why did you give me this body? HOW did you give me this body? S… Song magic? Amwella? Osmosis?

An eternity of questions. Some answers return to me over the course of the dream, but otherwise just thrums a song of delight as She gets to feel my spirit against Her's. Draws me into being content to just… bask in this togetherness. A possessive lover within a dream.

Only at the end does she offer me anything to take back to the waking world.

Everything shifts, and Her eyes are hard and serious as She unfolds into a song of healing. A plea to the World Song, to return this amazing body to its original perfection. Has me feel my own Amwella and understand our limits, how to alter this song to pace out the restoration based on it. Never pour more than a little of our soulfire into the melody, unless there is a horrid wound that would end us otherwise.

I can't help but feel my soul weep as She promises that the harmony will eventually restore my lost leg to perfection, and in the meantime dull the pain and throbbing to bearable levels.

We both feel the dream shift, and become aware of its end arriving.

"Will… will you be here tomorrow night?" I ask, "I… I'd like to see you again. Ask more questions... and snuggle more."

In answer she pulls me into a long and warm embrace, presses lips to mine and curls her soul close.

Always and Forever. She growls.

Thank you all SO MUCH for sharing this journey with me!

And welcome to the end of Arch 1 for Sun Spoken Turn: Women of The Paths!!!

Arch 2 starts RIGHT HERE very very VERY soon (the first chapters are already with my patrons)!

Ain't no brakes on this feels train!!! <3 <3 <3

AND AS PROMISED!!!

I am Hosting an BIG Q&A in the comments of THIS chapter.

Rules are that you have to ask a character from this story the question, can't do spoilery things, and can expect much snark from some of them!

To read ahead by about 6k words (3 chapters) of BOTH my series consider supporting this silly writer on Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/user?u=106429)!