Chapter 25

Waking I pull myself out of William's arms and rush to the pot that I'd had Marguerite leave nearby for this exact purpose. Over the past several days I've woken up each morning feeling incredibly nauseous resulting in a frantic scramble for something to be sick in. I've somehow managed to keep it from William but this time I can hear him waking as I finally reach the pot.

"Eleanor!" He cries out in alarm noticing my situation, "What's wrong?" He comes to my side holding my hair out the way and rubbing my back soothingly as we wait for it to pass.

"Nothing William. I promise I just feel a little ill is all," I try to reassure him but with my head still hovering above the pot in case of another bout of sickness it couldn't have been very effective.

"I'm calling for the doctor," He states firmly remaining by my side nonetheless until the sick feeling finally abates. Once it does he helps me back to a chair before heading to the door and calling for Marguerite and a footman.

They arrive quickly no doubt alarmed by his urgency. He directs Marguerite to assist me while sending the footman to retrieve the doctor. The early hour of the morning doesn't seem to be a concern to William even when I try to dissuade him to at least not summon Doctor Blundell until later on.

It's been nearly a fortnight since we arrived in London and everything has been going well. Lady Yorke, Wyle and I have become quick friends since our tea following the ball and have spent many happy afternoons together. Especially since Miss Creighton's departure for America which left Emily, Lady Wyle, missing her sister.

I've also greatly enjoyed the concerts and plays that William has taken me to along with ventures out to parks and museums. It's the most fun that I've ever had but now that William knows that I'm ill there'll be no more trips out until he knows why and is reassured of my health by the doctor.

"William I promise that I'm fine. It's just an illness it'll pass there's no need for all this fuss. Doctor Blundell will only tell us the same thing," I try to insist as he paces impatiently making me feel rather dizzy as I watch from the bed.

"Still I should like to hear it from him. Please, my love, for my peace of mind," He pleads and I can't find it in myself to protest anymore as he seems truly afraid for me. No one has ever cared about me being ill before.

"Doctor Blundell your Graces," Copleton announces showing the doctor into the room.

"Your Graces, I hadn't expected to see you again so soon. What seems to be the problem?" He asks setting his bag down on a nearby table.

"Eleanor has been unwell the past few days," William informs him coming to the side of the bed and holding my hand.

"It's nothing Doctor truly. I'm sure it will pass soon, the Duke worries too much," I add hoping to get this examination over with quickly.

"Well shall we get to the bottom of this and put the Duke's worries to rest," Doctor Blundell replies good naturally before beginning his examination. He starts with simple questions about when it began and if I'd noticed anything else wrong other than the sickness. As they get more pointed and specific I become concerned as well, maybe this isn't just an illness.

"What's wrong with me doctor?" I ask as he stops asking questions with a thoughtful expression. This pause scares me as what could be wrong that he has to take so long to think about it.

"If you'll permit me a physical exam your Grace," He requests and as I nod he gives me familiar instructions on how to position myself for the exam he wants to conduct. Could it be possible?

"Doctor?" William asks leaving the question unspoken but still clear as the Doctor finishes his exam. Both of us are watching him with a hopeful expression although I feel a tinge of fear at the prospect, memories of the last time rushing back. I can't handle another loss like that.

"Congratulations your Graces. The Duchess is with child," He informs us proudly while washing his hands and drying them off. I start crying happily as his confirmation while William thanks the doctor as he pulls me into a hug.

Doctor Blundell tells us that I'm around a month along and, leaving instructions to follow the same diet as last time, quickly excuses himself leaving us to celebrate this news with a promise to return tomorrow with something for the sickness. We've been hoping for this but knowing that it's real makes it so much better. I love the baby already and that worries me. I'd loved my first baby as well yet that had ended in tragedy. Thinking of that I start crying harder no longer filled with happiness at this new baby but fear.

"Eleanor what's wrong?" William asks as he notices my quiet crying turn into full blown sobbing. I'm crying too much to speak at first but after a few minutes I manage to calm myself down.

"I can't lose this baby William. I wouldn't be able to handle another loss like that," I whisper too afraid to speak louder as I air out my fear.

"That won't happen again," He vows sounding the most serious that he ever has, "This time will be different and by early next year we shall have a perfectly healthy baby to hold and love." The certainty in his voice is reassuring but at the same time this isn't something that William can control.

"We're going to have a baby," I tell him trying to convince myself that this time nothing will go wrong just as William said. And at least this time we love each other and there is no Mrs Merrick to forge letters that drive us apart or cause arguments.

"We're going to have a baby," He repeats back to me pressing a kiss to my head, "And I think that we'll stay in London to be closer to Doctor Blundell."

"Yes," I agree immediately wanting to have the doctor as close as possible, "I want to stay here. And are we still going to that concert tonight?" After such news and with me being ill this morning it wouldn't surprise me if he refused but I still want to go.

"If you feel well enough to attend," He replies watching me carefully as though I'd start being sick at any moment. I reassure him that I'll be well enough to go but that I'll let him know if I begin to feel unwell again.

Marguerite comes in not long after with some tea to soothe my stomach and I happily tell her the news. She offers her congratulations and after dropping the tray promises to inform the cook so that I'll be following the diet that the Doctor recommended last time. I shall miss eating what I like but for the sake of my baby I'd give up anything.

I spend most of the day convincing William that I do feel well enough to attend tonight's concert. If he remains this watchful for the entire pregnancy then I shall soon lose my patience with him, not even a full day knowing that I'm with child and already he would have me on bed rest. Or at least resting in my room until the baby arrives.

Eventually after much persuading he relents on his idea of remaining home tonight so with Marguerite's help I get ready to attend the concert. It'll likely be the last one that we attend until the child has been born, instead I'll have to content myself with leisurely walks in the park and the occasional venture to a gallery or museum.

"Are you sure?" William asks once again as we stand ready to leave at the door.

"William," I sigh in exasperation, "I'm well. It is only the mornings when I feel affected. Please you cannot worry like this the entire time," I plead with him not wanting him to exhaust himself with concern, nor to smother me out of fear.

"I shall try," He promises but it's a weak and empty promise as none of the worry in his eyes diminishes. It's as much as I'm going to get though and hopefully as the pregnancy progresses he'll feel more at ease. Maybe even I will once I get past these first few months, especially once I'm past the same time as I lost my previous baby.

Once we're in the carriage I can't contain my excitement as I smile through the entire ride to the concert hall. I've been looking forward to this since William suggested that we attend; a concert of Beethoven's works. Both of us enjoy his music and while I play them often it'll be wonderful to hear them played as intended by a full orchestra.

And it is a spectacular thing to witness. I spend the entire concert listening intensively on the edge of my seat to each and every note that they play. William had gotten us a private box so we're able to enjoy the music together in peace and I can feel his amusement as he spends more time watching me than anything else.

"That was wonderful William. Thank you," I say holding his arm close to me as we navigate our way through the crowd to get to our carriage.

"I'm pleased that you enjoyed it, my love. Although I could see that easily enough, you were completely entranced. At time I thought I'd have to stop you from toppling over the edge of the box," He teases far more relaxed now than he had been as we left our house.

"I wasn't that bed," I protest weakly knowing that his words do have a ring of truth. At times during the height of the music I'd find myself leaning forward far enough to rest my arms on the edge of the box.

"As you say," William agrees passively as he helps me into the carriage before entering himself and sitting down next to me. Tapping the carriage roof he gives the signal to start our return home.

We share a simple cup of tea together before deciding to retire to bed. The hour is late after all and today has been filled with much excitement after this morning's news and then with the concert so we're both tired.

"Goodnight my love," I say softly reaching up to press a kiss to William's cheek as we reach our rooms. With me now being with child we'll be sleeping apart, as couples in our position do, until the baby has been delivered and the Doctor declares me recovered. Already missing him sleeping beside me I turn away first to enter my room not wanting to see him walk away from me.

I'm quickly changed into a nightgown and crawl into bed wanting this night to pass by so that I might reunite with William sooner. Just as I pull the sheets over my body to start what will likely be a long process to fall asleep I hear the door open again. It's likely just Marguerite returning for something she forgot to take with her, although that is unlike her.

"Marguerite?" I call out softly when nothing is said, "Did you forget something?"

"I think it's you who has forgotten something, wife. Are you so tired that you couldn't wait for me to join you?" William replies quietly slipping into bed beside me. Longing to be in his arms again I don't protest as he pulls me close as he has done every night since we first shared a bed.

"I had thought that since I was with child you would return to your bed. As many men do," I whisper back burying my head into his chest so that I'm as close as possible to him.

"It shall take far more than that to keep me from your bed. Now sleep, you and our child both need the rest," He mutters resting his chin on top of my head. Happy to not be alone I fall asleep quickly.