Loss or gain

Lying on the bed of her hostel room, Amber's eyes were fixed on the large window of her room. Amber's mind was occupied with numerous thoughts and musings. For the first time in her life, she was stuck with the confusing thought of differentiating between right and wrong.

She had her tests going on at the University, However, Amber was unable to focus on her studies. She was stressed about an email that she had received on her cellphone. This mail consisted of an acceptable response to an application that tou Amber had submitted a few days back and forgot about it. She was supposed to be delighted to come across the good news but Amber was worried. The smile was reluctant to show up on her face. She didn't infer how she should react to the mail on her phone.

The last month was nothing but a nightmare for Amber. Her father suffered a severe cardiac arrest and was still recovering. Amber's family lived in beautiful Minnesota. After completing high school Amber Thompson decided to step out of her comfortable life and extend her boundaries to Chicago. She had made it to the merit list of the LSAT (The Law School Admission Test) and had managed to grab a 100% scholarship. She had been enrolled in the JD (Juris Doctor or Doctor of Jurisprudence) program at Chicago School of Law.

Amber's family was struggling with financial instability for a long time. Her father had a private job but due to his deteriorating health condition, he lost his job. Over some time, the circumstances made him bedridden. Amber had two siblings, who were in high school. Since her father suffered a heart attack, all of the responsibilities eventually fell on Amber's shoulders.

However, she would have to wait for another ten months to get her law degree and then get a job. A decent job was her topmost priority as Amber was the only financial hope for her family. To cope up with the day-to-day expenses, Amber was working part-time in a law firm. But alas! Her earnings were not sufficient enough to quench the financial needs of her family. The thought of leaving her degree in between and going back home had come to her mind several times. But the promise that she had made to her dad succeeded in resisting her decision of dropping out and she continued to struggle in managing things. Amber's father always wanted her to be a successful lawyer, but with the current circumstances, he had taken a promise from her that she would complete her degree no matter what.

Tears rolled down her cheeks when she remembered her ailing father. The only thought that was reverberating in her head was money. She wanted to earn a hefty amount of money so that she could support her family and stand by them in these toughest times.

The mail that she had received was a chance that occurs once in a blue moon. It was a door to a golden opportunity for Amber to earn a huge amount of money. She didn't want to miss out on it at any cost but it wasn't easy for her to execute what was written in the mail.

Amber had read the mail out loud about a hundred times and when she tapped on the mailbox icon on her phone and began to read it for the hundredth and one time, she was obstructed by a knock at the door.

"Amber, I didn't expect it from you. Why aren't you up? We need to go out for lunch. Don't you know that?" Julia shouted barging into the room.

Amber remembered that it was Thanksgiving and hence the hostel cafeteria was non-operational for the day.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. I didn't realize that it was Thanksgiving today and we won't be entertained in the hostel cafeteria," Amber responded.

Julia and Amber were best friends and used to stay at the same hostel. Julia was pursuing the same degree course as Amber.

Despite being called by her friend, Amber did not move an inch from the bed.

This lazy behavior compelled Julia to hold her hand and drag her out of the bed.

"Let's go, Amber. I'm starving already. Please..." Julia insisted.

Amber on the contrary was least interested in having lunch. But she knew her friend very well. Julia would not go out and have her lunch alone. Also, she wanted to discuss with Julia about the mail that she had received. Amber didn't consider it appropriate to talk about the mail while being in the hostel and hence decided to go out with her friend.

Stepping out of the bed, Amber drew out a dress from her closet to get ready. After a while, both the friends left the hostel.

Julia did not stop for a moment and continued to talk on their way. It appeared as if Amber had not listened to a single word spoken by her. She was just walking while her mind was lost in some thoughts.

Julia realized that her best friend was not paying attention to her and hence she screamed in her ears to bring her back to reality.

"A-M-B-E-R" Julia yelled. The moment her loud cry entered her ears, Amber reciprocated, "What happened Julia? Why did you shout?"

Julia was agitated when she said, "what else am I supposed to do? You seemed to be sleepwalking, Amber. Otherwise, you would have reacted to the car coming towards you, and also you would have heard the horn blown by the driver to get you to move aside."

By the time, Amber was back to her senses... She realized that she had been walking in the middle of the road. She saw how vehicles were passing from both her sides and Amber didn't even pay attention to it. Julia held her hands and crossed the road carefully. Amber was a little lost in her thoughts while Julia guided the way towards the restaurant nearby. This was their go-to place where Amber and Julia liked to have their meals as it was a walking distance from their hostel.

Both the girls settled down at one of the tables and placed their orders. Julia, while ordering the food... noticed that Amber was still lost in her thoughts. She was physically present however she seemed lost somewhere.

"Now that we have ordered the food, tell me what's bothering you, my dear best friend? Is Mr. Thompson alright? I hope everything is fine at your end?"

Julia questioned curiously.

"I don't know Julia... But you know, mom called up yesterday. On inquiring about Dad's health, she told me he isn't keeping well. But I know the reality. They do not want to disturb me when I'm having my tests. Don't you remember the time when Dad suffered a heart attack? They didn't let me know about it. Rather they gave me a call when Dad got discharged from the hospital and came back home. Mom even refrained me from coming home to avoid any disturbance in my studies.

Though mom informed me that Dad is doing well, I doubt the truth. And I do not have any option other than to believe her." There was deep-set grief in her voice when she was elaborating the thoughts echoing in her mind."

"On top of that, the ongoing internal tests have restricted me from going home and keeping a check on Dad. All my savings have been drained in Dad's treatment. And Julia, at this point... There's nothing worse than an empty pocket for me. I have lost my ability to comprehend what is going to happen next. How are we going to meet the daily errands? Amber shared her distressed condition with her friend.

Provoked by the circumstances, at times I think of leaving the degree in between and heading back home. But then, I had promised Dad that I would complete my degree no matter what. He has worked hard for me to accomplish my dream of becoming a renowned lawyer," She added.

Amber expressed her vulnerabilities.

Julia extended her hand to place it on that of Amber's and comforted her. "Ahh..., you don't need to worry babe. Do not get bogged down by the situation and panic. Things will sort out slowly and steadily. You have almost reached your destination and your determination, hard work, and passion have helped you climb the ladder to the top. We are on the verge of completing our degrees. Just the last semester is left and we will be law graduates. It would be a foolish decision to leave the course midway and run away from things. Have patience, Amber….Everything will be alright. If not now, then very soon," Julia responded, trying to comfort Amber in these tough times.

"Umm... I don't know Julia. Sometimes my headaches to the core due to the mess that has been created in my life," Amber replied in a disappointed tone.

Julia was surprised to hear such a thing from Amber.

"Why did you say that? Is there something else that I'm unaware of ?" She questioned.

Amber slid her phone towards her friend and asserted, "Here... Have a look."

Julia glanced at the phone's screen. It was the same mail that Amber had been reading in the hostel room. With every word that Julia was reading ahead her eyes widened in astonishment. She returned the phone to Amber after she was finished reading the mail.

"Umm... This... What is this Amber? And...ah... How did it happen? As far as I know, you had turned down the offer. Then I am afraid how did you get another mail from them?" Julia inquired.

She was inquisitive to know all the details.

"No, I had not given any reply to them up till now. And... Umm... To be honest, I have invested much of my time thinking about this proposal and it is not that easy to turn it down. Just an affirmation and all of my problems will be resolved," Amber concluded coldly.

"Yeah, I do understand but how could you do this? Do you even know what all the risks are involved? Being your friend, I have to warn you and tell you the correct thing. Do not be an emotional fool and decide in a hurry. Give yourself time to think about it and then conclude. This is indeed a hard nut to crack. This doesn't seem easy as it appears to be. You need to be physically and mentally strong for the task that you are signing up for. This would have a long-lasting impact on your life. So please, think twice before you agree to anything," Julia tried to reason with Amber.

"It doesn't matter if I ponder over it. I don't have any other escape from the circumstances. Things have been superficial before you. You know the circumstances at my home. And it has changed for the worst after Dad suffered a heart attack. Due to his increasing health issues dad lost his job. And to compensate for the financial losses, mom joined a school as a teacher. Kevin and Lisa are merely teenagers and they help mom after school. They are undergoing so much struggle at such a tender age. Trust me, Julia... It breaks my heart to see my loved ones suffering. They might have had expectations from me and here I am, not in a position to do anything for my family," Amber shared with tear-filled eyes.

"Why do you have to be so hopeless, Amber? Have patience until the time you complete your degree. Things will get sorted once you start your law practice. These problems are temporary, you know. Everything is going to be alright in the end and if it does not... then baby girl it is not the end yet."

Julia attempted to cheer up her friend.

Amber passed on a low-key smile and replied to her, " Julia, don't you know that it would take us a few years to attain the experience and knowledge. People prefer experience over the newbie's whether you are a doctor or a lawyer. And honestly, I don't have the next few years to waste on waiting to gain the experience. And then... What about my dad's deteriorating health? I am in desperate need of money for his treatment. Also, I require money to invest in Kevin and Lisa's education. It would feel like an age to wait until I attain the required experience in practicing law. As of now, my topmost priority is money and luckily, I have an opportunity knocking at my door. Taking my situation into consideration, I have gotten a chance that I should not let go."

Julia understood the emotions lying underneath the tough decision that her best friend was talking about.

She sympathetically spoke, "I completely comprehend your point, Amber. But there might have been some other options to get away from your problems. This could not be the only escape. I am sure we would certainly find another way out."

"I have thought and searched for every opportunity that could have helped me to get rid of all my problems but at this particular moment, no other opportunity has appeared better than what I have received in my mailbox. Neither can I borrow a loan from the bank nor do I have any family or friends who would lend me the required amount of money. And if I choose to take up a job, my attention would be diverted and it might affect my scores. So now, you tell me, Julia... Apart from all these options, do I have any other opportunity to earn money? Babe why don't you understand... This is the only opportunity which can help me get the required amount of money and put an end to all my problems," Amber nodded her head and expressed

Despite all her efforts to convince Julia, Amber was not successful. Julia was not convinced and was rather worried about her friend.

"Amber, all I am concerned about is your career and ambition. This particular opportunity that you are eager to grab might create a rift between you and your future endeavors," Julia advised.

By the time Julia had made her statement, Amber was on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

"None of my dreams are above my family. And as far as my career is concerned I can rebuild it anytime later. But the need of the hour is to support my family in any manner I can. They need me to stand by them in tough times like these. There is no other way around to get me the hefty amount of money that I require. I have to do this, Julia... For my family's sake," Amber responded sadly.

By now Julia had given up.

"Alright, my dear friend, if you think, this is the only way to deal with your dilemmas then... You will always find me beside you. You have my constant support in whatever decision you make. It's just that I am a little worried about you and afraid of things going wrong," Julia sighed and spoke.

The fear of getting stumbled upon something wrong in the process was the only confusion that Amber was facing for a long time. This was the particular reason why she was unable to make a concrete decision. Her heart was well prepared to take any step irrespective of the outcome, for her family but her mind was reluctant to go ahead thinking of the pros and cons of the circumstance. She was stuck in a dilemma whether to take a step forward or to drop off.

The only thing that her eyes were perceiving was the large sum of money that she would be getting in return for the task that she would perform. Her focus was laid on the fact that if she would grab the opportunity, all of her family's troubles would disappear in no moment.

Julia and Amber had come back to the hostel after having lunch. They had their internal tests going on, but Amber had her concentration lost due to the issues in her personal life. It was for the very first time that Amber was not studying even during the exams. She had always been the topper in all the other tests she had given. She was a meritorious student, whether in school or college. She had even made it to the merit list of the LSAT and achieved a 100% scholarship. It was due to the scholarship that Amber was able to do her graduation from such a reputed University otherwise her economic condition wasn't good enough to get her to enroll. Her siblings did not leave Minnesota and were studying there. Amber was the only ray of hope for them, who would start her law career and put an end to all their miseries.

Amber's thoughts were no different from her family. She had always wished to achieve her goal and to take care of her family.

Amber was immersed in her thoughts when her phone rang and she was drawn back to reality. Since her father suffered a heart attack, her heartbeat tended to pace up every time her phone rang. It gave her chills as if the person on the other end of the call would give her some bad news.

But Amber was relieved when she glanced at the phone's screen. It was Sharon who was calling her. Sharon was her colleague. Amber took a deep breath and picked the call. "Hi, Sharon..."

"Hey... Amber... I need you to do me a favor." A voice replied to her from the other end.

"Yeah, tell me... what is it?" Amber asked.

"Umm... Actually, I won't be able to make it to the office today. I have been caught up in some urgent work. Could you please go to the office in my place? Immediate drafting is to be done. Please, Amber, the boss would grant me leave only if you would agree to come to the office. And you know how grumpy he is. He does not allow leaves so easily," Sharon requested.

"But today is Sunday..." Amber reasoned.

"I know it's your weekly off but please help me, Amber. I really have some urgent business to deal with. Please." Sharon pleaded.

Amber felt distracted and could not study so she thought of utilizing the time to help her colleague. Also, she believed that it might divert her mind.

"Okay, Sharon... I will go," She replied.

Sharon was delighted that Amber was finally convinced. "Oh thank you so much, Amber. You're a sweetheart," she exclaimed.

"That's completely fine Sharon," replied Amber and disconnected the call.

Suppressing all her dilemmas and vulnerabilities deep in her heart, Amber got up to get ready for work.

She was pursuing her dream of becoming a lawyer on a scholarship but to meet her day-to-day expenses Amber was working part-time at a law firm named "John Williams and associates".

The moment she reached the office, Amber was given the task of legal drafting. Instead of completing the task given by her boss, Amber opened a 15-day old legal draft and began reading through it. It was a contract signed between a surrogate mother and a couple. The couple did not become parents even after many years of their marriage, and hence the idea of surrogacy was introduced between them. According to the contract, the woman who had agreed to become the surrogate for the couple would have to nurture their child in her womb and after delivery, the child was to be handed over to the couple. Once the child is delivered, there shall remain no relationship or communication between the surrogate mother and the newborn. She was to be given a huge amount of money in return which was clearly mentioned in the contract. Amber was amazed to see that it was a seven-figure amount. It was indeed a big deal for her. Amber read all the clauses with the utmost attention. She even attempted to read between the lines and comprehend the meaning behind each clause written in the contract.

And why wouldn't she? She had also decided to walk on a similar path, after all.