Ch. 11 - Spark of passion.

It was still a bit dark and cold outside, I wore my jogging pants and a jacket, a bag containing a water bottle, biscuits, and a exercise mat. I headed outside and I put on my headphones and started to jog to the park where I usually do my morning exercises.

As I ran along the coast, the sky is slowly starting to get brighter, more and more cars starts to appear and I also saw some other people doing the same as me, it seems like the whole city is waking up. People gets more busier each day, we all have to work for a living, so having opportunities like this to spend some time solely for myself is truly a blessing. Its rare when you started being self efficient and independent. When I reach the park, I jog around for about 7 laps, then I take a small break before placing down my exercise mat and started doing the same exercises I use to do when I first started working out. I learned it online, turns out you can have a perfectly toned and even ripped body without going to the gym. I did some dead bug, crab toe touches, heel taps and roll-ups for 30 seconds each. Even though it was still a bit cold outside, I was already sweating so much, but thats a good thing the more I sweat the more I gain. I took a 1 minute rest and started doing V-ups, reverse curls, mountain climber and bicycle crunches again for 30 seconds each. I was feeling tired and the shirt under my jacket is soaking in my sweat, however I can hear a little voice in my head saying

"Keep going."...."No pain, no gain."...."Your almost there."

Something seems to motivate me, I haven't done this in the past week so I kinda lost my momentum, I must do this everyday. But thank goodness I didn't lose it and remain toned. For the final exercise I did hip bridges and star plank. All of the exercises I did today was for the abs, hamstrings, glutes and upper chest. I will focus on the other muscles next time. I packed it all up and jog all the home, when I got home I was feeling proud and energetic, sure I was panting alot and irritated. But at least I somehow manage to did it. I took off my shirt and look at the mirror.

"Damn!"

I said to myself out of excitement. My abs are ripped and showing off, my chest are round as ever. I didn't just got this from one exercise though, I was already doing it years before, I paused last week and resume today, due to a busy schedule. But they're still here, and im happy about it. I decided to go with my plan, I hold my phone up high to put the camera angle to show most of my body and I make the most seductive face I can. I took a picture and send it to her. I was giggling and my heart was beating so fast. I didn't know what I was thinking that time. I went to the bathroom and took I quick shower, I have to get to work. But as I was washing myself, I slowly get the feeling of embarrassment and think of how shameless it is, I kinda feel weird and regret what I did. As I exited the showers I immediately grab my phone and deleted that picture, I always wonder where did I get the audacity to do things like this, even though it never happened before I always get this feeling. I hope she didn't see it, she might be creeped out and might avoid me because of it. But as I think about it more, it was kinda my intention to leave her, if she didn't see it then I can stay and help her about her issue's then leave her, but if she did see it and avoided me, then its also fine. I have nothing to lose anyway.

I stop thinking about it and got on my usual routine.

At the restaurant, we receive a huge amount of produce and livestock from our suppliers, the catering is within just 12 days, and everyone is preparing to handle the stress and complications of the busy days ahead. The last time we did it everyone ended up doing something what they aren't suppose to do and failed miserably, I remember getting gushed by hot stew and created a huge messed, luckily none of the guest saw it and everything else work well. Now we assigned each other to a specific role and we learn to work in sync during our regular days at work. Now, we have a slightly if not better chance of performance, our memories of it are still fresh and we can't help but get anxious whenever we think about it. Later that day after work, at a nearby cafe we gather and talk about it.

Kazuo : "So according to what Masao-sama said, Masahiko, Ryota and I will solely be responsible for the food table, while Chinatsu and Haruna will be responsible with the servings. Now, no matter what happens, try not to interfere with each other in order not to get things busier and to avoid getting entangled into one another.

Chinatsu : "Well wouldn't it be more convenient if we have another one helping us with the servings? Cause it seems to be the part where we're gonna need more hands to be efficient."

Haruna : "Yeah, I feel like we might get overwhelmed and ended up serving up the food cold."

While they argue, I was on my phone scrolling down on my social media and checking if there's any new messages. I am usually just quite in the corner while the rest of them do the talking, I can always fulfill my work no mattet what role I am given, so I would rather be isolated and quite. Some say im hard to work with, but they just dont know me enough to work in sync with me, I can constantly handle several task at once as long as im not disturb. As I look at them and seeing how everyone is suggesting what to do, I put down my phone and decided to talk.

Akagi : "How about this, I already propose this plan to my father. I will be managing the food table and Kazuo would assist me in organizing and keeping everyone in line, while Haruna, Chinatsu and Ryota will do the serving in the tables. Kazuo and I will also constantly replenish the food variety on the table and no one better get in the way."

Kazuo : "Well if you say so, that will be the final decision."

Chinatsu : "Im fine with that."

Haruna : "Its good but why didn't you told us sooner?"

Akagi : "I wasn't confident in it either, so I was waiting for one of you to come up with a better plan."

Haruna : "..."

Ryota : "That's it then, end of discussion."

Akagi : *Slurps coffee*

*Inner monologue* : "Im really good at making excuses hehehe~ better tell father about the plan tomorrow."

On the outside, I look strict with a collective mind and highly organized. But inside, im anxious and always improvising on certain things, but im still organized.

Haruna : "Did you just improvise that right now?"

Akagi : "Why do you bother asking? I always do that."

*Slurps*

Haruna : "Well you've been acting different ever these past days."

Ryota : "Yeah, we notice a sudden shift in your behavior."

Akagi : "Huh?! What are you guys talking about?"

Chinatsu : "Senpai, your usually intensely focused, isolated, stoic, quite and organized. But recently you keep spacing out in the kitchen and keeps looking around for something."

Akagi : "What do yo--"

Kazuo : "And you're being so talkative, we're barely able to get you engage in any conversation. But now you just keep answering our questions no matter how sensitive it is."

Ryota : "You even initiated them in the past days."

Akagi : "Thats just--"

Haruna : "And you've been smiling alot recently, you dont have that scary grimace look on your face anymore."

Chinatsu : "What happened to the dark lord of the kitchen that we all know and learn to tolerate all these years?"

Akagi : "Oh come on, dont bring up that nickname as I only felt like being enthusiastic for the last few days. I am still the dark lord of the kitchen."

Kazuo : "Its been happening for 2 weeks now, its a bit nauseating seeing you being compassionate, its alot different of how we use to see you before or since."

Akagi : "Am I really that grumpy in the kitchen to the point that initiating a conversation and just being approachable make you guys wonder?"

Everyone : "Yes."

Akagi : "Wow....you guys aren't even going to deny it?"

Haruna : "We wouldn't deny it, and we didn't mean anything bad with it, we're just wondering why."

Chinatsu : "Yeah, its just its been so long since you were like that, we just wanna know what made you feel joy even for a short time."

Trying to remember when was the last time I was more enthusiastic and engaging in socializing made me realize that they're we're the ones who witnessed what happened to me since the day way before where I am now, and I kinda feel bad that I treated them that badly.

Akagi : "Look, I am not entirely jolly yet, but I feel like I've been too much interactions. I just want to try the things that made me happy again so I am being more approachable to you guys."

I dont really know why, but I did notice a sudden change in my behavior, I dont know what to say to them. But I've been feeling more lonely and been craving social interactions recently, so maybe I am doing this by choice and I am not just that much aware of it.

Chinatsu : "So...are you going to stay like this or not?"

Akagi : "Maybe I will, I want to learn to socialize and hang out with you guys again."

Kazuo : "Oh thats good to hear! Im glad that your being open again!"

Ryota : "Yeah, its like your getting over your past."

Haruna : "I dont know much about your past, but its good seeing this side of you."

Chinatsu : "Can't wait for us to paint together again!"

Seeing them happy makes me feel warm inside, they've been trying to help me recover from my anxiety and trauma. They stood beside me all these years while others use and leave me, I shouldn't shunned them away. I should be grateful to them, I should embrace them, I should look after them in the same way they look after me. They're the only real friends I have after all.