Ch. 13 - Looking for entertainment.

After our talk last night, I slowly started to feel discomfort and irritable. I have problems of my own, I have my own friends to keep me company, my attention is needed else where and time is better off solving my own problems, I have no time for some other things and I have no reason to continue doing this. I dont wanna be selfish but I feel like I would only be wasting my time.

I woke up and left the house to jog and workout in the park, I try to forget about this matter for now. I got back home to shower and go on with my day to work. While I was cooking in the kitchen, I was thinking of what kind of excuse I should make to separate from her, I already decided to stop playing the game. I want to make more time for my self and to my friends. I feel I need to catch up to whatever they do, every single day they always make a joke or catchphrase that I dont know the reference of. Which also makes them hesitant to talk around me cause they know I wouldn't get it and I would feel left out. I feel like a reliability. When things get more smoothly in the kitchen and there are less orders, I spotted Kazuo and Ryota talking to each other, I approach them and joined in the conversation.

Akagi : "Hey, what's up?"

Kazuo : "Oh hey! nice of you to finally get along."

Akagi : "Yeah, I feel like i've been lagging behind our group."

Ryota : "You didn't miss anything, we've been out of idea's and been bored lately."

* Akagi's inner monologue : "Are you only telling me that so I wouldn't feel sad and left out? I can tell from that forced smile. "

Akagi : "Really? I heard alit of new games, anime and manga has been released recently. Have you tried any of them?"

Kazuo : "Yeah, there are alot compared to last year and I heard they're so good."

Ryota : "Yeah, they also released the sequels to many of the famous games we grow up with."

Akagi : "Oh really? I haven't been online for a while, I should check that out."

Kazuo : "Unfortunately we do not have time to look any of those...."

Ryota : "Yeah, I have alot of test coming up..."

Kazuo : "And I haven't been able to plan a date with Fuyuko as well."

Ryota : "Haruna is also sulking at me for not being able to spend time with her."

Suddenly they're faces are filled with gloom and their force smiley faces gave in and it turn into frowny faces. Damn, maybe that's why they're forcing to smile. I feel their pain, im also preoccupied with working so much, even though im not working student who has to attend a university to study while working part time to pay the expenses. I move out of my parents house and I have to pay my own rent and bills, even though I could make it easy for myself and go back to my parents house, I like to be independent, self effient and self reliant. Now I have full control over my self and my decision, I am also fully responsible for myself so no one has a say in what I do. But it is a pain and im tired.

Akagi : "So you guys haven't thought of what to do?"

Kazuo : "No, we haven't been able to think of an idea, and we're afraid that we lose touch with each other if we go ahead and think for ourselves alone."

Ryota : "Yeah, senpai don't got any idea's? I know you do."

Akagi : "Me?"

Kazuo : "Yeah, you always have good idea's and your smart about time management."

Akagi : "So you want me to decide and plan what we should do to balance your time studying while getting together to remain in touch with each other?"

Kazuo : "Yeah, I know you can think of something."

Its true, however I stop doing so along time ago since I feel like I might be too overruling and I might compromise their schedule. I also fear that my decision making is controlling their life so much.

Akagi : "But I stop doing it along time ago."

Ryota : "Why senpai?"

Akagi : "Cause I fear that my decisions are further compromising your time and I feel like I am not considerate enough from your perspective whenever I plan something."

Ryota : "Senpai, what nonsense! you didn't do anything except guide us to success and joy."

Kazuo : "Yeah, technically you're the mother of this group since your planning and decision making are so decisive and on point, also you based your decisions over on how you look after us."

They're words flatter me. I always have doubts and I was never confident about a single damn thing years ago, but upon hearing such praises and encouragement helps me build up confidence.

Akagi : "Well if you think so, but before I do tell me what's keeping you preoccupied and what time you guys be available.

Kazuo and Ryota : "Will do~"

After evaluating with what they told me, I thought of a plan but I lost my thoughts for a few moments after Chinatsu startled me, telling me there's new orders and the three of us are standing there chit-chatting. This is the first time in years I've been scolded by my subordinate. Usually I will feel pissed and work twice as hard and weary, but this time I felt appreciated, approachable and needed. Just shows how much I am needed and how much I worth being a part of this group of ours. So I smiled at her and started working, she smiled at me back and says....

"Now your mood is pleasant as the food you cook~"

I let out a little giggle to let her know I heard and appreciate it. Later that day after work, I got home and went to our group chat online. I haven't been interacting with this for a while now but upon seeing that the most recent message was 6 days ago, Now I know that neither did they.

I check they're account status and they're all online, so I left a message saying "Video call meeting" and I waited for them to see it. While I was waiting I ate dinner in the living room while watching anime. I started receiving notifications from the game, its a message from Airi, I opened it and now I have to reply.

Akagi : "What's up?"

Airi : "Are you home right now?"

Akagi : "Yeah, why you ask?"

Airi : "Just checking up on you, what are you doing right now?"

Akagi : "Im eating dinner."

I took a good pic of my meal in a nice angle and send it to her.

Airi : "Oh wow, that looks good!"

Akagi : "Have you eaten yet?"

Airi : "I did, but now im hungry again, can you give me some?"

Akagi : "You can't have any."

Airi : "Eh? why?"

Akagi : "Because its pork, you can't eat it."

Airi : "Oh I see, your right. Wow I didn't know you knew about that~"

Akagi : "I always do some research about other countries and their culture. By the way, what did you eat?"

Airi : "Bread I bought from the grocery."

Akagi : "Just bread? I know its not part of my business but why did you only eat bread?"

Airi : "Well I dont have much of an option..."

Akagi : "Why? your mother didn't cook anything?"

I starting to feel like im stepping over the line, I can't do anything to help her in this situation so I shouldn't be barging in into someone else's life.

Akagi : "Forget what I ask, I should be minding my own business."

Airi : "Well its not like she didn't cook or anything, but I intentionally decided not to eat anything other than that."

Akagi : "Huh? your starting to get me curious and confused."

Airi : "Im sorry, but how can I tell you if you dont want me to explain?"

Akagi : "Go ahead as long as its not controversial."

I proceeded to let her explain and read her messages very observant and with an insightful mind.