Ch. 56 - Still together.

As I felt more comfortable now that I've already said what I want to say. I stood up and headed towards the restroom. Before I could even leave the table where sitting together, her face got worried and asked me.

"Where are you going?"

I look at her and said

"Just to the restroom." Her face calmed down and went about eating her cake.

I think she got worried and thought I was already leaving. Before I enter the restroom, I look back at her and she was watching me from the table. I smiled at her and she smiled back, I went on and relieved myself. As I was washing my hands, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and suddenly wondered. Whether what im doing right now could be considered a date, in a certain perspective it might be. I've never went outside with a girl since I broke up with Misaki. This certainly gives me the nostalgic feeling of having someone to talk to in place like this, where I could stop thinking about my worries and get to know someone with the intention of getting to know each other as deeply as possible. I smiled at the thought of it. I quietly exited the restroom and took a good look at her, she was just sitting there, not fiddling with her phone and taking bites of out her cake. I dont know what im feeling at the moment but she is looks so cute. Her hijab makes her small, adorable face so noticable. However, I got curious to what she does to finance herself. I sat back down and asked.

"Sarah, I have a question." She looks up at me.

"What is it?"

"Can you tell me about your job? Im kinda curious, well if you dont mind."

"Sure!" She delightfully said.

"I have two jobs actually, but the other one is only when theirs an opportunity or offer. The first one is, handing out pamphlets and magazines at the nearby boutique store near where my parents are currently living every weekends."

"Oh, so you're a leaflet distributor. I see...What kind of pamphlets are you handing out?" I asked.

"Garments, Muslim clothings to be exact, you know? Hand made ,woven, stitched garments and clothes such as Hijab, niqab, taqiyah, kurta and many more. They're made by women from our community." She told me.

"Those are Islamic style clothings, right?"

"Correct." She says.

"Is there alot of Muslims in your area?" I curiously asked.

"Yes, I used to live with my parents at a Muslim community in Hayabuchi, Tsuzuki Ward. Alot of families from Malaysia and Indonesia live in apartment buildings there, if you go there you would also see food vendors and stores offering traditional products from my beautiful country!" She proudly told me.

"I want you to see it for yourself, and don't worry. We're very welcoming and kind to strangers~." She added.

"Wow, that's cute~ Its like you have your own place to not feel homesick." I told her.

"Maybe you could invite me there one day."

"I dont know whether you'll be available, so whenever you want to go, just give me a call."

She told me while happily making a phone call hand gesture. I took a sip of my coffee and enjoyed the aroma and the sight of her bright smile, she even has chocolate crumbs of her checks. The cheerful expression she makes, knowing she enjoys and appreciates my company, makes me happy in the inside. A feeling of inclination and motive to further know her, and to treat her culture with more adoration suddenly spark in me. I felt pity for her, as I was once in her condition. Desperately seeking a person whom you could open up your emotions to, a person who is willing to understand and respect your preferences. I know exactly how she feels, the amount of anxiety she's carrying must be alot. I want to ensure she is able to forget about those for a moment and feel relaxed.

"How about your other job?" I asked.

"You see, I use to be a model for a magazine cover when I was a kid."

"Wow, really?" I was honestly surprised to hear it.

"Yeah, but only on local magazines though, and it didn't went more than 2,000 copies sold." She replied.

"That's still quite impressive! If you're gonna compare it to the amouth of likes I receive from my drawings on my social media page...2,000 is not that bad." I told her.

"What do you mean? Yours is had already reach 5,000! Didn't you check?"

"No, I dont really put too much time on social media. So barely know how its going."

"Ohh."

"Are you still modeling for magazines today?" I ask.

"Yes, but only once every 3 or 4 months, if there's any offer at all." "How did you became a model for a magazine?" I curiously asked. "You see, my father, well not exactly my biological one cause both my parents abandoned me, and im living with my mother's friend. They adopted me." I approvingly nod.

"I remember that, you told me about that before." I told her.

"Oh you do?"

She ask while looking at me with her eyes wide open in excitement. "Yes, I do. Im not old enough to be forgetful."

"Its not like that, you remembered because you think its important, right?"

Why do I feel like im being teased?

"Probably."

I answered in the most expressionless way as possible.

"Can you continue telling your story?"

"Oh right, you see, he doesn't want me to work, he told me that working is for men. He told me to just keep on studying so I could graduate and have a good career. So I could live a happy and easy life, that even though my parents abandoned me. I could succeed." She said in a gratified manner.

"Wow." I quietly gasp in awe.

"Yes, he and his wife worked hard to ensure that I enjoy my childhood, stress-free and cheerfully contended. While teaching me good manners and right conduct." She told me.

"I was really shy as a kid, and even now. I find it really hard to build in some confidence. So they put me on auditions, not exactly expecting to pass, but to simply make me feel proud of what I am and have confidence in myself. But surprisingly, I passed. They contacted us one day and asked if I could be a model for a magazine. My parents was concerned at first, whether the things I would wear in front of the camera, would be 'Too revealing' or simply against the law of Islam regarding a woman's modest close. So he was very careful about it, he was very protective of me."

Listening to her story, made me smile without realizing it.

Hearing her story somehow bought tears into my eyes, it feels so heartwarming and amusing. As I look at her sparkling eyes, it made me wonder how her life could've end up different without those kind people who took her in and treated her like their actual daughter.

*Sniff*

I look away and wipe my eyes.

"And into this day, I still accept offers from photographers who wants me to model for their magazine, as my source of income. Most of them are from our community anyways, so I knew I wouldn't have to worry about what im going to wear." She said.

"You're very lucky, Sarah. Even though you're not related to them by blood, they accepted you as a part of their family." I told her, to which she delightfully respond.

"I know~ I am really blessed."

She really is just like me, except she has more luck to those who took her in, in contrast to mine. She grew up, protected, educated and to be a graceful person. And right now, she is entering a stage in her life which I consider to be riddled with anxiety and hardships. Her innocence and naivety reminds me of my younger self, which makes me want to usher her away from being manipulated by the wrong people that lurks around her, who already seems to be targeting her with their envy and bitterness.

"However, I am not wise about spending my money, so I always ended up broke 2 or 3 weeks just after my pay. They're still willing to help me and give me allowance, but I simply feel bad and I feel like im so much of a burden for someone who isn't biologically theirs. So that's why I handout leaflets at the weekends."

I stare at her blankly with nothing else to say.

"Dont give me that look! I only spend my money on snacks that I crave so much, I dont spent them on luxury items."

"What did I do? I have nothing against what you do with the money you earn." She pouts.

"The way you look at me makes me feel like you are."

"What do you usually wear when your modeling for a magazine?"

I just thought I'd try to keep the conversation going to pass the time.

"Oh? Are you that interested? Okay!"

She happily said. "Here, take a look!"

She enthusiastically pull out her phone and shove it onto my face. As I look at her photo's I begun to feel my heart beat accelerates, I was captivated by what I could see. In th first few pictures, she was wearing something modest. She is wearing a smooth looking garment, seemingly made with extensive care, that conceals her hair, all the way to her knees and ankles. She already looks cute and graceful in it. But I saw the others and it caught me off guard. Even though she still hasn't expose her skin, and the clothing extends to her wrist and all the way to her ankles. She is wearing something tight, that the fabric is almost connected to her skin. And I could see her body curves, she has a really slim body. Combined with her cute, adorable face. She is so beautiful in this. I could feel a rush of brain chemicals, Dopamine!

"Wow, you look so gorgeous." She blushed.

"You think so? Hehehe."

"Of course you are!" I passionately replied.

"I am a bit sketchy and embarrassed about showing it to others, but to you I dont mind." She said while giggling.

I hand back her phone.

"That's nice~ Thank you~"

"You're welcome~"

I rub my chin.

"I have a question." I said in a firm tone.

"What is it?" "You told me that you can't expose your skin or hair, right?" I asked

"Yeah." She simply replied.

"Then..."

I find myself struggling to ask the question, thinking it might bother her.

"Then why when we first met at the catering in your school, you were wearing something sexy and revealing rather than modest? You aren't wearing a hijab back then either."

She froze and her eyes widened as I asked her. She was speechless and an awkward moment sets in.

"I-Im just curious!..Like...is there any exceptions when wearing it or not?" I awkwardly asked while stuttering. "No, there are no exceptions...." She softly murmured. She then glances around before looking back at me, starring me dead in the eye and said.

"I did it for you." She declared.

"For me?" I was bemused at that moment.

"You see, its quite a long story. I was modeling in one of the rooms during the catering, for our university's promotion pamphlets. My friends were there as well. The organizers asked me what I would want to wear during the photoshoot, they laid down several clothes on a table and I get to pick which one I should put on. There was no space for me to dress, so I went on the nearest restroom to change my outfit. One by one I tried them on, all of them were pretty good and suits me appropriately, but one of them caught my attention. It was something that rather looked alluring, I put it on and look at myself in the mirror. It was a black halter top, I didn't know how to describe how I look. Its top revealing for me, my shoulders, cleavage and stomach are exposed. It was my first time wearing such outfit, so I made sure to take my time and do some poses with it. It felt different, satisfying yet scary at the same time. Just imagining the wrath I would receive from my parents for even wearing something like this is enough to shook me to the core. So I took it off and went back to the set. And then..."

The way she narrates the story makes me shiver, and sends a galvanizing mood.

"As I turn around the corner, I almost bump into someone. I was rattled but I prevented myself from colliding with that person. But as I regain my balance and look at that person, I never felt so overwhelmed with different kinds of emotions while processing my thoughts in a single moment."

I hover my hand in my mouth in awe.

"Is it because..."

"Yes." She replied.

"Its because I saw you."

She says as she stares deeply in my eyes.

"I saw your photo weeks before, before we broke up, I was still a bit bitter at that point. And I was slowly forgetting about you, but when I saw you in person for the first time. All the things we talked about, the things I learned about you, all the memories we had came rushing back into my mind. And at that moment, I was too weak to resist it."

She further told me on how it felt like a dream, like it felt her whole world just stopped. She was partly excited, cautious and sensing the need for a connection. Yet she felt restrained at the moment.

"I didn't know what to do at the moment, a part of me wants to throw myself into you, whether to slap you or introduce myself to get on better terms. I was nervous, yet attracted. And before I know it, my mind was so preoccupied with thoughts about you, I couldn't even concentrate during the photoshoots. And when we all decided to take a break a enjoy the other activities and to get some food. I immediately tried to search for you, I put on the black halter top I wore earlier and remove my hijab, and nervously make my way into your tent. Completely not paying attention to anyone's gaze, I endured the embarrassed, just so I could approach you as a very attractive young lady."

As I continue to listen to her I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. Even though she acted on it by herself, the lengths she had to go through just to make a good first impression on me is both amazing and risky. She had to go against her morals just for me.

"Look, im sorry for what happened. And for driving you to do such a thing."

I told her. Even though I dont see myself to be directly at the fault of the situation, I tend to be sympathetic and not escalate the situation by simply ending it here.

"Dont worry, its not entirely your fault, im just really stupid at the time. And you didn't even know it was me." She replied.

"Why did you even think of that? Why didn't you just approach me normally?" I asked.

Sarah : "I have two reasons for my actions, the first one is I just simply copied the same scenarios I read on a manwha."

Akagi : "A manwha?"

Sarah : "Yeah, you know, when the guy broke up with the girl because she wasn't good enough, but then she returns more beautiful as ever to try seduce her ex for revenge? Those types of scenarios are the one im trying to imitate on that moment."

I knew what she meant by those kinds of scenarios, I read and watch anime alot when I was younger. But what the hell is a manwha?

...

Anyways, its good to know she's an otaku if this is really the case.

"What's the second one?" I asked.

Sarah : "Well, I simply thought that hot girls with revealing outfits is your type."

Akagi : "What make's you think so?"

She looks at me blankly.

"Well, when I got closer and took a good look at you, you seem calm, gentle, collected, you look mature and act in such a manner. But when I saw your photo, the one you sent me, where you were shirtless and have a rather seductive look on your face..."

Im beginning to cringe and feel embarrassed as she mentions the consequences of my stupidity.

"...And the other one, where you were laying on your bed, shirtless, with a bottle on your hand. You seemed to be very lustful in that one."

(I knew it! I knew something was wrong and suspicious when I woke up that day! DAMMIT!!!)

"So I just assumed as much, because it seems like you are calm and really formal on the outside. But naughty in the inside."

She covers her face and giggles. I facepalm in embarrassment.

"Oh my goodness...I apologize, I wasn't sure what was I thinking. I hope your not disgusted with me." I told her. "Oh, im not disgusted at all~ I was only shock at first. I never thought I'd see something like, in fact it feels kinda hot, you know?" She said in an attempt to cheer me up. "Stop worrying about it so much, we both did silly things as the first expression. Yet here we are, we have grown closer to one another, I never thought I'd actually be with you in person and our interactions didn't just last in the game."

She smiled at me with sparkles of joy and appreciation in her eyes. I let out a sigh of relief before chuckling, she has a point to make. We were both careless about what we did in an attempt to captivate one another.