10. Rogeringham Hall

So it was, with Charlotte reading excerpts from Catullus to me - in Latin - that we arrived a day later than we had intended at Rogeringham Hall, in the county of Buckinghamshire, just after four in the afternoon.

The older parts of Rogeringham Hall - the west wing - date back to the days of Good Queen Bess, Elizabeth I. The principle rooms are grand in manner and yet comfortable. The eastern part of the hall was built a hundred or so years later, after the reign of Charles II and the growth in the family's fortunes. It is a house of which I have many fond memories, from growing up there and the games we played as children, riding in the great park and exploring all of the nooks and crannies.

My mother greeted me warmly and accompanied me to my room, where Barclay had laid clean fresh clothes out and was organising the hot water for a bath.

As I removed my travelling clothes, I sensed Helena wanted to say something. I stalled her by asking whether she and Barclay had discovered anything yet about Mr Dodgson. It had only been a day or so, so I didn't really expect anything but she surprised me by saying yes, they had.

First of all, she told me, the steward was not well-liked within and about the estate, and had angered many people with his authoritarian ways. She said that he often told people that he was acting in the name of the duke, and that his word was final. He had evicted several long-standing tenants, and brought in new people, many of whom he was quite friendly with. Instead of using local suppliers, he sourced things from as far away as Buckingham itself, or even further. Furthermore, he acted very much on his own, with no communication about decisions.

Although interesting, and quite informative, none of this was particularly heinous, everyone has their own way of working, but something about the man had upset enough people that it had been brought to my mother's ears in just the short time since her arrival.

I thanked her and went to go and take my bath. "Is there something else, my love?" I asked.

"Did you and your sister share the same room, last night?"

"We did," I replied, then asked her, "What of it?"

"It is ..." Helena stuttered as she sought the words. "She ... She looks ..."

I took my mother in my arms and hugged her to me. "I am going to be honest with you mother, last night I took Charlotte's virginity - at her request."

Helena's body went rigid in my arms and she looked up at me, aghast!

"But William, she is your sister!"

"And you see no irony in that statement mother?" I asked her, gently, "Three nights ago, you and I slept as man and wife, even though you are my step-mother. So, last night I afforded my step-sister the same pleasures as her mother.

"Charlotte and I have been close since we were children, and we have talked much since my return," I told her, then I explained how Charlotte had challenged me about treating her - and my other sisters - as girls, saying that I should instead treat them as women. I told my mother that I thought that she was right in this, and told her of the conversation we had had, and how it had led to us sleeping together.

"If my deep love for you is based on my being infatuated with you from an early age," I said, "Then my relationship with Charlotte is equally loving, but one based on our deep-seated friendship.

After a moment's consideration Helena shrugged, conceding that I had at least part of a good point. "But why?"

I kissed her, gratified that she at least kissed me back in return. "You would need to ask Charlotte what her reasons were. In our talks yesterday, she expressed a curiosity about sexual relations that would not be satisfied until I had shown her the same pleasures that you and I had enjoyed. She told me that there were few men in the world that she had sufficient trust in to assist her in this. It suited me to do it because she is both my sister, who I love very much, and my very dear friend."

By now Helena and I were sat upon the end of the great four poster bed in the master bedroom at Rogeringham. She seemed to have calmed greatly. There was still some tension, but she leaned against me as we talked.

"We talked much about it today." I said, "Charlotte has expressed her fears at being left on the shelf and becoming an old maid. She wanted to become a woman before she became too old."

"But what if she does marry? What about her wedding night?" Helen asked.

I laughed. Charlotte had crossed that bridge already. "There are many reasons why a woman might not have a maidenhood, as you well know. Riding horses here in the park, would be one reason." Charlotte's use of a dil doule was another.

"Tell me mother, on your first night with my father, how did you feel?" I asked, a question that is very rarely asked, I suspect.

"Scared," she admitted, "Very scared but also excited, that I was finally going to become a woman."

"And how was your experience?"

"I was filled with emotions," she said, "This was, after all, all that my life up to that point was about - when my husband made me a woman. So, I was excited to be making that step forward ..."

"But?"

"Also scared, because I had no idea of what to expect. Other than a few vague mumbles that my mother had given me as advice, I had no clue of what would happen, except that I was to lay there and let him take my virginity. Her advice on how it would happen was scant, to say the least.

"'He will enter you with his manliness' she had said, 'his pleasure is paramount' she said, 'there will be pain but it shall pass'"

"And how was it?"

Helena shrugged. "I have had more excitement," she said with a brief smile as she caressed my hand.

"Your father entered my room, complimented me on my beauty, and told me to undress. He left the room and when he came back, I was lying in bed, naked, waiting for him. He did not undress completely, stripping down instead to his shirt - I suppose I should count myself lucky that he took his stockings off for our wedding night. There were nights later on in our marriage when he didn't." Helena laughed at the thought.

"He climbed on top, and he shoved his prick in me. No kissing, not even an embrace, straight to it.

"Oh God, it hurt. I was a virgin, dry, and tight. It hurt going in, it hurt as he pushed through my maidenhead, and by the time he had finished pumping away, I was rubbed raw. I stayed in bed all of the next day. Your father thought it was because he had done such a magnificent job. It was actually because I could hardly walk because of the pain he had caused me."

"Yet you did it again?"

"And again, and again, and again. Because I knew no better. No one prepared me William." She explained, "No one told me what would happen." And at that point I saw that Helena was understanding my thinking.

"And there you have the essence of my thoughts, mother. I shall never forget my first fight. We were on Guadalupe and facing a large group of rebels. Up to this point I had been merely conducting drills, we had seen no enemy action whatsoever. They emerged from the woods in front of us, a solid, intimidating mass of men, all driven forwards by their drummers! They bore muskets but they also carried many of their large cutters, machetes. We waited for their first shots - which I knew would come. Then I jumped like a rabbit when our own first volleys were fired. I didn't know whether I was going to piss myself or what. Once the fighting began, I had no time to think, just follow the drills, as we were taught, but once it was all done, and we were safe, I realised that the fear had come from not knowing what was going to happen. At one point during the action, my lieutenant spoke to me - he said I looked at him like I was simple, uncomprehending. Such an experience is not uncommon, at least I was lucky that I was alive at the end of it to reflect on what happened."

"So how does this relate to Charlotte?" Helena still sounded sceptical, but I could also hear acceptance in her voice.

"Not just Charlotte, mother, but Margaret, Louise, Caroline and possibly even Hermione. More than anything, I suppose, I would wish to remove their fear of that first night, and show them what to expect, so that they might make their situation better for themselves.

"My experiences have led me to believe that virginity is a greatly over-valued currency - a willing and capable partner who knows what she wants, and who can give me what I want, is far more attractive than a trembling maiden. However, while many men share my feelings, I understand that many others do not. If my sisters wish to be rid of their maidenheads and be ready for their wedding nights, knowing what is to come and be better prepared, then I will assist them."

"All of them?"

"If they wish, I would not force myself on any of them. But I do not want my sisters to have to go through the kind of pain that you went through."

"But why?"

"Because, mother. Because when I promised you that I would help you to find husbands for my sisters if they want them, I meant it. But when the Rogeringham women descend upon the Ton for the next Season, they will not stand waiting for the enemy to approach, they will advance to the attack."

Helena looked at me for a few moments, her face a picture of confusion.

"We - you and I - we shall ensure they have everything they need - be it experience, advice, dresses or occasions. They will not go into this unprepared. Rather than being merchandise to be picked over, they shall be the ones doing the picking and choosing."

Helena's smile grew slowly. "That is why you've brought us here?"

I nodded.

"So that we can make ready?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"And not just so that you could sleep with your sisters?" She said slyly.

I laughed, and kissed her, "That was not a part of the original plan, but I shall not deny it, it is an attractive thought."

"Am I not enough then?!" Helena kissed me back, open-mouthed and hungry.

"Mother - you are an exemplar among women, and my love for you is a thing they will make stories about, but I also owe service to my sisters, as I have done all my life. In fact, it was you that told me that they were my responsibility as their elder brother."

"I did!" She said laughing. "I recall it clearly - you were seven and you took my words so seriously."

"I did." I said, "I still do."

Helena had removed my neck-cloth and opened the neck of my shirt and she was kissing my chest. "I am still not certain about this development," she said, "I fear it may lead to issues with suitors in the future."

"In that case," I said, "I shall simply challenge them, and if necessary ..."

"No!" Helena cried, "That will not do at all. I will not have you coming home from Spain unharmed, to lose you in a duel."

"I think you should trust my sisters." I suggested. "Did you know that Charlotte regularly uses a dil doule?"

Mother looked at me in surprise.

"She has an ivory phallus that she uses to masturbate herself," I explained.

"She does?" Helena was clearly surprised by this.

"Indeed. She said that she thinks that all of the girls indulge in activities like this, in some form of another, but she could not be specific because she does not know the details."

"Well!" Helena said in surprise.

"In fact, she said, and I am inclined to agree," I told her, "I suspect that there is a high probability that at least one of them has lost her virginity already. I would suggest that it might be better to think of it, less of deflowering my sisters, as more schooling them in the Art of Love."

Helena considered this carefully before she said, "Very well. But bear in mind - I am still the chief of your women and as such I shall demand the privileges that that position confers. All of your sisters are secondary to me."

"Yes mother." I responded.

By now she had the fly of my breeches open and was eagerly stroking my hard cock. "I missed this last night," she growled. "I missed it filling me."

Helena laughed at her own admission, "Just a week ago, if someone had told me that I would be deliriously in love with my son and his hard prick, or that missing just two nights of him fucking me would be the worst pain, I would have called them insane and had them banished to a bedlam hospital."

She pulled her skirts up and straddled my hips, rubbing herself across my erect shaft, moaning as she did so. However, as pleasing as that was, I was only half-inclined to start a full-blooded fucking session. I was aware that we were meeting for dinner soon and also that my bath water was getting cold.

I lay back on the bed and rolled to one side, depositing Helena onto the covers. I kissed her tenderly and bade her remember what she had been doing so that we could reconvene later.

My mother gave a little sound of disappointment, a mew, much like that of a kitten. It was adorable, but the servants had filled the bath and I did not want to have to wait while more water was prepared.