94. Afterword

Arabella took to motherhood like a duck takes to the water, something about being with child caused her to embrace it. Privately, between the three of us, she jokingly referred to it as 'being bred', which she said that she always enjoyed, especially as each time it happened, Helena was present. It did not limit her passion for women in any way, but she told us, she saw our family as her way of repaying the freedom that I gave her. I had never sought to put any pressure upon her to repay anything. We had agreed that we would try for heirs, but that was it, no more was required from her. Still, Arabella felt obligated in herself. In spite of this, 'breedings' were always seen as a great occasion, which we all three of us enjoyed. I did sometimes wonder at the enthusiasm that Arabella showed for the process of making a child, given her avowed passion for other women, but during her first pregnancy Helena told me what had been said between the two of them at Arabella's birthday party.

Helena said that she had specifically broached the subject of providing heirs with Arabella and had been surprised by her response. It appeared that Arabella had said that she desired children as she had grown up an only child. She said that she could think of nothing more that she would want in the world than to be surrounded by children, to make up for her own, quite lonely, childhood. That was what had convinced my mother that our betrothal should proceed. That, and she genuinely liked Arabella as a person.

In time Arabella bore me three sons and three daughters. They were, in order of age - William, Helena, the twins Henry and Thomas, Elizabeth and then my baby, Charlotte (named primarily after the queen, but also for my eldest sister). There was another boy, Daniel, between William and Helena, but sadly he died at birth. After Charlotte, Arabella decided that enough was enough and we concentrated on raising our children as best we could.

As marriages of convenience go it was a good one, and it lasted a very long time. While my love for Helena never faltered, and the same went for hers for me, the affection and regard that I held for Arabella matured and while it never reached the height of that which I felt for my mother, I believe that it was all that a married man and woman can hope for, perhaps more. Helena came to regard Arabella as her sixth daughter and I know Arabella always treated Helena as she did her own mother.

I lived with my mother and wife for many years until the Lord called us all home to him.

I have often reflected upon my life with Helena, and Arabella. In some people's eyes, I suppose, we were committing a mortal sin. I care not for that view. If, as the good Doctor Locksley told me, Jesus preached a doctrine of Love above all else, if something was conceived in Love, and we loved each other dearly, how can it be wrong? It was certainly no crime, well not until many years later and by then it was no matter, and I can honestly say that I have no regrets on the choices I made.

As for the other people in my family, in order, my sisters also progressed in their own lives.

After Charlotte and Richard married, they lived in Oxfordshire on Richard's estate, preferring there to London. He turned his will to 'raising sheep and cattle', as he had said he would, and then having established himself in that, he and Charlotte expanded into raising children. I think I am uncle to ten children by their marriage, though to be truthful I am not actually certain, it may be more. Charlotte, was most prolific.

Caroline and Henry were a little bit more moderate and brought just four young Adamses into the world. They often came to stay at the Mayfair house and Rogeringham Hall. When the Rogeringham children and the Adams children brigaded together it was always chaotic. (I never subscribed to the view that children should be seen and never heard, and while I know many people disproved of it, we spent a great deal of time with our children, instead of isolating them with nannies and tutors) Nothing more was ever said about the conversation that Henry and I had on Christmas Eve and Henry remained my assistant for many years, and our friendship lasted many more after that.

The twins never married. Oh, they had lovers and beaus and suitors aplenty - and I believe that there was debauchment and orgifying as well, but thankfully no scandal. There were a couple of close calls, but nothing that could not be handled, discreetly. They lived with us for a couple of years and then set up at a house we own in Sloane Square, a short way away from Rogeringham House, where they lived until their old age.

Hermione powered James Barthomley's career like one of Mr Congreave's infernal rockets, though with considerably more accuracy. In between delivering off-spring - six in total, she propelled his course, so that by his thirtieth birthday, James had actually become richer than his father and his portfolio put him and my sister into a very strong place. Fortunately, the brash young man that I met on my first night home, matured into a clever and compassionate chap, and though he ruefully admitted that he still found himself nervous in my presence, we spent many pleasant days and evenings together.

Their eldest child, a girl, Phoebe, who everyone assumed must have been conceived on their wedding night, was unmistakably a Rogeringham in features and in form, having a strong resemblance to her mother. I believe that of all my nephews and nieces, she remains my favourite, and it was only when we attended her coming out ball, about a month after her eighteenth birthday, that Hermione confided to me that she was certain that Phoebe was my daughter, conceived on that last night before her wedding.

I know that both Charlotte and Hermione had expressed a desire to make return visits to my bed once they had established their own marriages. But with my mother and Arabella, I had as much as a man could want and more. So, as she had with the twins, quietly and firmly, Helena closed that door, to all comers bar my wife.

Elizabeth Dorrington, never remarried. "Why should I?" she once asked me, "I am enjoying myself far too much to burden myself with another husband." At which point she went off and began creating mischief and joy with her grand-children. I am quite certain that if my children ever found themselves in trouble, Elizabeth had been involved at some point, usually as the primary instigator. Just the sight of Grand-mama's carriage approaching in the distance would cause a thrill of excitement to ripple through the young Rogeringhams (and any Carters, Adamses, or Barthomleys that were present), and the servants would start to batten down the hatches and give an eye to anything that might get broken.

Eventually, after many years of service, Barclay trained up his own replacement and retired to a cottage on the estate, with a good pension. Of course, he found himself a wife and married and with his and her money combined, they never wanted for anything. The day that Joshua Barclay married Emily Dodgson was a particularly enjoyable one, and my mother and I were pleased that they had found each other. Joshua had been at the centre of it all, and he was well aware of Emily's story, none of which made any difference at all to him, and from what I could observe, it seemed that they were very happy together. If Joshua told Emily about my mother and I, neither he nor she ever made mention of it.

Emily eventually sent her daughters to a school in Buckingham and from thence to one in Oxford. They all married well, and we maintained contact with them as women. With their families, they were frequent visitors at Rogeringham Hall. Emily herself wrote two books on the education of women, which were well received though they never got the readership of someone like Mrs Wollstonecraft. Several people said that Emily's ideas were equally thoughtful and worthy of consideration, I thought that her words were most thought provoking and read the books several times.

The daughter of Lt-General Bradley, Lydia - the queen's favourite of the Season, married a young German prince, an émigré relation of the queen. They married in a quite spectacular wedding at the prince's home in Berkshire.

A man is lucky if he has one woman in his life, a woman who loves him and who he may love and share his life, and his bed, with. I was blessed in not only by having my mother and Arabella in my life, but all of my sisters, Elizabeth Dorrington, Emily Dodgson and so many others.

I have been privileged to make my way in war and prosper in peace, and I have known and been friends with many great men, but most of all, I thank God - and all of His Little Angels - for the women I have known in my life.

And with that, this simple tale of ordinary, everyday Regency aristocracy, their lives and their bodice-ripping, incestuous loves, comes to an end. I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed it.

Thank you for your indulgence.

God Save the Queen!