(5) roller-coaster

Upstairs, you show Aaron the bathroom before leading him to the bedroom. It's the only room in your house you really put effort in decorating. You made it as comfortable and cozy as possible. Aaron immediately reacts to his surroundings by letting out a sigh you're sure he didn't even hear himself.

Without hesitation, you open your belt and start to take off your pants, then your socks. He just kind of stands there. You give him some time and walk to your dresser to get out a shirt to sleep in.

Finally, he moves and takes off his slacks. You assume that he sleeps shirtless but after he took off his dress shirt, he awkwardly stands there in the t-shirt he wore under it.

Something clicks in your head and you get him one of your oversized shirts that hopefully fits him. He doesn't have to say anything for you to turn around and pretending to carefully fold your pants and change yourself while he puts it on.

"Thanks." He mumbles and you take it as your cue to turn back. The shirt fits his shoulders but it's a little short and you catch a glimpse of the scars stretching over his lower abdomen.

Your eyes lock and you see the conflict that's raging inside him.

Now or never. You tell yourself and close the distance between you to put your hands on his upper arms and pull him into your embrace. On the side of your neck, you feel him taking a few staggered breaths.

You were tired before but are wide awake now.

"Get in." You nod towards the bed. "I'll make us some tea."

Aaron presses a kiss to the side of your neck and does as told.

Quickly, you make your way back down to the kitchen and fix yourself two cups of tea.

Enter the bedroom, he's sitting up against the headboard, blanket up to his waist. You hand him a cup and carefully crawl into bed next to him. You sit down rather on the blanket than under it.

"Is that why you didn't have a date in so long?"

His eyes dart over your face.

"How do you know I didn't have one?"

You smile. "Reid told me."

Aaron clears his throat and takes a sip of his tea.

"I didn't ask him, he…not important. So, is it?"

Hesitantly, he nods.

You drink your tea while you wait for him to elaborate.

Seemingly trying to lighten the mood, Aaron chuckles: "You're really observant."

Leaning in for a kiss, you grab the side of his face. He tilts his chin to meet your lips.

You let out a hum, pressing a kiss to his cheek before leaning back up: "Do you want to tell me?"

Aaron straightens is back and stares into his tea. With a quiet voice he explains: "My ex-wife cheated, and I filed for divorce. While it was going on, we worked the Reaper case. He got close to me. In my house. It- it's kind of blurry…but it ended with him stabbing me repeatedly before the team arrived and…shot him. I- I didn't know…I didn't know how to handle it. Suddenly, I wasn't a husband anymore, and marked forever by the case I didn't figure out in time."

He stops and lets out a breath he seems to have been holding for the past five years.

"You blame yourself?"

He musters up the strength to look up and finds your eyes, apparently surprised that that's what you're concerned about: "What?"

"You said the case I didn't figure out in time."

"Oh." He seems taken aback.

You take the cup out of his hand and put it on the nightstand as you do with yours. Then you swing your leg over his and sit on him, straddling his lap. Slowly, giving him time to object, you pull down the blanket and slither your hand in his shirt, letting your hand linger on his side. You don't look down but keep your gaze fixed on his face.

He tenses.

"Do you feel them?"

"Sometimes. On most days, it- I don't know how to describe it. Like it strains my skin. It kind of bends me down and I have to make an effort to stand up straight."

You don't want to make him think that you are belittling him, but you feel your heart getting heavy and you swallow hard.

Carefully, you let your hand wander, not applying any pressure. Your fingers twitch when you find one of the scars. Slowly, you start to trace it. Aaron inhales sharply. You hesitate but he nods ever so slightly, and you continue. It feels like an undulating spider web, spanning over his abdomen.

You stop when you made it to the other side of his stomach and pull your hand out of his shirt. Aaron is still breathing shallow and fast. You can see the artery on the side of his neck bounce.

Trying to calm him down, you put your hands on the side of his neck and run your thumbs over his jaw. His face slowly relaxes under your touch.

After maybe two minutes of this, you lean closer and kiss him. This time, you're careful, and gentle, and make Aaron sigh into your mouth.

When you lean back, you take his hand and push it to your thigh.

"This is by no means as difficult to handle as what happened to you but feel this..."

Grabbing his index finger, you guide it to the stretch marks on the inside of your thigh.

Aaron furrows his eyebrows at your gesture until he feels them, then his eyes widen, and he says: "Oh. I- I forgot that…"

His expression is a mixture of relief and… nervousness? Probably because his hand is dangerously close to your lap. You let go of it and he pushes it to the outside of your thigh, drawing circles with his thumb.

Slowly, you get off him to lay down under the blanket. He lifts it for you, and you roll into his embrace. Putting his arm around you, he pulls you to his chest. The warmth of his body makes your heart flutter. Hiding your face in the crook of his neck, you take a few deep breaths, memorizing his scent.

Aaron bends his arm and to play with your hair. You start to fall asleep, at last putting your arm around him.

"Thank you for the date." You whisper, probably slurring the words.

Feeling his neck vibrate when Aaron tells you goodnight is the last thing your consciousness notices before you drift off.

- - - - - - - - - -

You get woken up by someone jerkily moving next to you. Your eyes flutter open and you see Aaron stirring in his sleep, fists clenched to hard that the skin over his knuckles is white. You curse. He's obviously having a nightmare and you feel guilty about it. You probably triggered it by pushing him to talk about what happened to him.

You're not sure how you can wake him up without startling him.

"Aaron." Your voice is loud but calm. He doesn't react.

"Aaron, you're dreaming." You get louder, careful not to touch him.

His movements slow down.

You repeat yourself and his eyes shoot open.

He seems disoriented and his eyes dart around the room until he finds your face. Visibly relaxing, he reaches for you.

"You're here." He says like it surprises him.

"Where else would I be?"

Aaron furrows his eyebrows and props himself up on his elbows.

"Ehm, I-" He clears his voice. "I was dreaming…"

"I'm sorry."

"What?" He sits up. "Why?"

"I feel like I triggered your nightmare."

Almost amused, he shakes his head.

"I didn't push you?" You ask, nevertheless.

"I have nightmares about every other night."

"Oh." Your heart gets heavy at the thought.

You don't know what to say after that and just look at Aaron.

"I'm okay, really." He reassures you.

Only now, you get to appreciate his morning voice.

"Good God, Aaron." You blurt out. He notices your change in demeanor and pulls you closer by your wrist.

"What was that?" He murmurs.

Giving him doe-eyes, you try to get out of his grasp. It only makes him grab you by your upper arm instead.

You narrow your eyes: "Stop pretending that you don't know what you're doing."

With a determined tuck, he throws you off balance and pushes you into the mattress. His weight partially on you, he pins you down and starts to litter your neck with wet kisses. His mouth wanders down to your décolleté and back up to your jaw.

Clawing into his shoulders, you try to calm your breathing.

"Don't pretend," he whispers, "that you don't know you're the one who makes me do it."

- - - - - - - - - -

When Aaron rolls off you to give you room to breathe, you notice how hot your cheeks feel and how red his neck is. Clearing your voice, you scoot to the edge of the bed and get up. You feel his eyes on you while you put on sweatpants and pull a jumper over your head.

You hear the sheets rustling when he gets up as well to ask you: "Do you have some for me?" Aaron points at your pants. Your eyes wander over his muscular legs and up to his boxers: "Nope." You tell him.

His mouth falls open: "You gonna make your boss have breakfast in his underwear?"

Walking past him, you smack his ass and yell over your shoulder: "You bet I do."

He lets out a huff and tries to grab you from behind. But you're faster and duck under his arm before sprinting down the stairs to the kitchen. Half-way down the hallway, he catches you. One arm around your neck, the other around your chest, he presses you against him: "Don't try to outrun an FBI Agent." Aaron tells you with a smug, husky voice.

You turn your head to look at his arm. Then you raise your hand to forcefully push into the pressure point below his collar bone. With a yelp, he lets go off you.

Triumphantly, you turn around and tell him: "Don't try to outsmart a professor with three different degrees concerning the human body."

Rubbing the spot you pinched, Aaron starts to corner you between him and the wall. You let him and lean against it, your hands behind your back. Tilting your chin up, you grin at him.

He snarls: "I will fucking -"

You interrupt him: "Fucking?"

That pushes him over the edge, and he lunges at you. Almost violently, he grabs your face and presses his mouth onto yours. Lifting your right leg, you snake it around him and grind your lap against his crotch.

That's the first time you make Aaron moan loudly. Like fully, outright moan.

Just when you thought his presence couldn't get more powerful, he does that and sends you into an absolute frenzy.

Your hands are all over each other. With a push, you turn him around and press Aaron flat against the wall. When his hands start to wander under your sweater, you grab his wrists and pin his arms over his head.

He lets out a surprised breath but lets you continue. Holding his wrists together with one hand, you slither the other under his shirt. He lets his head hang down and you press a kiss to his lips before nibbling on the thin skin over the pressure point you hit a few minutes ago.

When your hand finds Aaron's right nipple, you pinch it, and his hips jerk forward. You smile against his skin and do the same thing to his other one.

Leaning into him, you feel his rock-hard cock pressing against your thigh.

You let go off his wrists and…

A shrill sound echoes through the hallway.

Both of you halt in your movements, staring at each other. It doesn't stop and you realize it's Aaron's mobile.

- - - - - - - - - -

However you managed to put yourselves together and make it to the office will remain a mystery. Now, you're on the jet on the way to Ohio. You try to channel your frustration into energy for the investigation. You can see that Aaron is having a hard time as well, almost constantly clenching his jaw.

Since you know you won't have to crawl around blood-stained carpets this time but do the autopsy on two corpses that have been found in a freezer, you can step up your shoe-game. You nevertheless packed some flats, but right now, you're sporting your favorite high heels and dress. It makes you feel powerful. And maybe a little happy to taunt Aaron like this.

He went home to get his stuff and you met at the office with the rest of the team. You saw his eyes wandering down your body and his jaw has been clenched ever since.

"Prentiss, Reid, drive Byrne to the coroner. Then you have a look at the crime scene. JJ, Morgan, talk to the next of kin. Rossi is with me; we get started at the precinct."

Everyone nods and goes back to reviewing the file.

Thankfully, the bodies only have been moved but not processed yet.

Finally, the jet lands and you don't have to breathe in Aaron's scent any longer.

Before you get out of the car, you tell Prentiss to have the freezer transported to you.

A medical assistant lets you into the morgue and shows you everything before leaving to do some work in the adjacent lab. You put a white coat over your clothes and some gloves on and go to work.

- - - - - - - - - -

Since you're doing a full-fledged autopsy, you use your Dictaphone to record your observations. Hands buried in the chest of the male bodies, you hear someone enter.

"You're the one the feds sent?"

The snideness in the voice makes you roll your eyes.

Your hands covered in bloody gloves, you turn your head.

"Yes."

The man who you assume is the coroner, comes closer to take a better look at you.

"Found something yet?" He gives you a slimy grin.

"Yes."

"Oh, really? What?"

"I'll make sure you get the report."

He doesn't say anything, and you know that he won't be leaving just like that, so you take off you gloves and fully turn to him. He lets out a small huff and walks to the end of the autopsy table. Putting his hand on the ankle of the body, he asks: "So, this is your case?"

Calmly, you tell him: "Yes, and would like you to get your hand off him."

Running his hand up the shin, he comes closer.

"Take your hand off."

"Would you…"

"What's your name?"

"Why? So, you can run to your boss? What are you doing here anyways? Little lost doll, all by- "

Heel making a clacking sound on the floor, you take a sudden step forward. He yanks his hand away from the body and stumbles two steps back.

Before he can recover, the door glass door is pushed open a second time.

Hotchner comes in, medical assistants behind him, bringing in the freezer.

Shooting you one last dismissive look, the coroner scrambles to leave.

When it's only Hotch and you, he goes to stand right next to you.

"What happened?"

"You saw it through the window, didn't you?"

"I saw you pulling an absolute power move on this idiot, calling his bluff."

"That sums it up."

"Did he try anything…with you? Because I will go over there without hesitation and – "

You chuckle and nudge his side: "It has been handled."

He makes a sound you're not quite sure how to interpret and brushes the side of your thigh before telling you: "I'll leave you to it."

- - - - - - - - - -

The last two days have been getting more difficult by the hour. Most part of your job is done. At least the part that keeps you busy. Now you have to sit in a conference room with the team and sometimes chime in when they are having a discussion.

Aaron's proximity is about to drive you insane. The things you want to do with him take over your thoughts more often than it's probably healthy.

In the late afternoon, he declares: "Keep working, Professor Byrne and I will revisit the crime scene. Maybe we overlooked something."

Oh God, why? Is he purposefully torturing you?

Quietly, you follow him to the car. Your hands are shaking a little, when you get out the crime scene pictures to give yourself something to look at.

The car stops and you raise your head. You're at the hotel the team is staying in.

You furrow your eyebrows: "This isn't the crime scene."

Aaron lets out a low chuckle and takes off his seatbelt: "No, it's not."