(15) business as usual

"Tim!" Fists clenched, you wake up. You sit up and put your head on your knees. Next to you, the sheets are rustling as Aaron rolls to his side. The light switch clicks. Able to see him now, you turn your head towards Aaron. He looks worried. Slowly, he scoots over to put his arms around you. You sigh at the heat of his naked skin engulfing you.

"Babe." He breaks the silence. "This is the third night in a row you woke up like that."

"I know." You sigh again.

"Are you dreaming about your abduction?"

"No. Well, yes. I dream of Tim."

He lets go of you to look you in the eyes: "Why do you keep calling him by his first name?"

"He…" You swallow hard because you know it will anger Aaron. "He was my friend."

Shocked, Aaron leans back: "Your friend!?"

"Don't raise your voice at me."

He clears his throat before telling you calmly: "Foyet wasn't your friend. He was your abductor."

"Yes, but…"

"No." He interrupts you. "I asked you to see a psychologist because I worried about you having Stockholm-Syndrome. You said you were fine. But you are clearly not."

You get out of bed: "I am fine!"

"Waking up every night yelling the name of the man who abducted you is not being fine!" Aaron gets out of bed as well.

"You're one to talk." You huff. "You did this for YEARS."

His mouth falls open, clearly hurt by your words.

"Shit." You rub your face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

Aaron takes a deep breath: "It's okay."

You shake your head: "No, it's shitty."

Slowly, he walks around the bed. You extend your arms, and he takes your hands, pulling you into his embrace. "I worry." He whispers.

You lean your forehead against his chest: "I know."

He presses kisses to your temple: "Come on. I'll make you coffee."

"Okay." You nod and follow him into the kitchen, groaning at the bright light he turns on.

Sitting up on the counter, you observe Aaron as he fixes you a cup of coffee. He's so lovely. You regret what you said. "I'm sorry." You repeat.

With a mug in hand, he walks over to you: "It's okay, really. I could have been a little more sensitive as well."

Taking a sip of the coffee, you thank him. You stare into the cup. Aaron gets one for him as well. It's quiet except the noises the coffee machine makes. You get up and walk to the living room. Something on Aaron's desk catches your eye.

"You have all my works?" You call.

He enters the room as well: "Yeah. I- I read them while…when we were working your case."

You swallow hard: "Oh." Running your fingers over the back of the books, you ask: "Did you like them?"

Aaron chuckles: "Of course."

Putting his arm around you, he tells you: "It almost killed me. You being gone, I mean. I swear I will-"

"Aaron. It wasn't your fault." You look up at him. He gives you a peck on the lips. "And it's not your job to protect me. I can look after myself. I made it out, didn't I?" You add.

He starts to litter your face with kisses: "Yeah, you did. But I still feel like I corrupted you."

"In what way?"

Aaron sighs: "You were…you had a good life. A secure job. You're brilliant at what you did- what you do. And I feel like I pulled you into this mess, into the darkness that comes with this job. Case by case."

"Why are you saying that?"

"You are so good. And I am contaminating it."

The agony in his voice startles you.

"There is nothing you did that darkened my life in any way. You make it colorful. You make it warm, and bright, and you fill it with love. You're not Atlas. It might feel like you're carrying the weight of the world, and that everything is your responsibility – in like a bad way. But do you realize for how much good you are responsible for? How many people's lives you touched, you saved, you brought peace to? And don't you know how much I love you for all you are?"

Aaron stares at you as his eyes start to water. You keep up the eye contact and caress his cheek.

"Thank you." He tells you with a thick voice.

A sudden, shrill sound makes both of you flinch. It's Aaron's mobile. He lets go of you and grabs it off his desk. He furrows his eyebrows when he sees who the caller is: "Reid?"

Intently, he listens. You can make out a few words, Reid sounds stressed.

"What's going on?" You ask as soon as he hangs up.

Aaron stares at his phone for a few seconds before he snaps out of it and tells you: "Months before you joined the team, a geneticist helped us with a case. Reid stayed in contact with her. They could not meet because she had a stalker. It looked like the stalker eventually let go…but now…We need to get to the office."

- - - - - - - - - -

You try to piece together the story going by the little information you have. When you get to the BAU it's barely getting light outside. You and Aaron are the first to arrive. You didn't take the time to drive home and then to the office. Meaning, you are wearing one of Aaron's dress shirts. Tucking it into your pants, and wearing a leather jacket over it, you try your best to make it look like your own.

Reid doesn't pay heed to it. He is way too panicked. Aaron tries to get more information out of him, but Reid is whirling around the conference room, putting up stuff on the whiteboard. His hands are shaking.

"Spencer." You grab his wrist. His head shoots up and he stares at you. Gently, you take the files he's holding and hand them to Aaron. "Sit down." You order. Reid tries to tuck his hand out of your grasp, but you don't let go. "Sit down." You repeat.

Eventually, he gives in and sinks into one of the chairs at the round table. You kneel down before him and put your hands on his legs: "Tell me."

His eyes dart over your face. His bottom lip quivering, he tells you: "Maeve and I talk every night. Every night - unless we agree on something else. And tonight…she didn't…she would never…"

You nod understanding: "You're scared her stalker got to her?"

Reid furrows his eyebrows.

"Hotch told me." You explain, biting your tongue immediately as you realize it could give away that you're still with Aaron. But again, Reid doesn't notice it. He just nods.

"She's your girlfriend?"

He nods again. You look at Aaron who seems surprised. This team really needs to amp their ability to recognize intimate relationships.

"When was the last time you spoke to her?"

"Yesterday."

"And nothing seemed off?"

"No." Reid's voice is steady now.

The rest of the team arrives. "Okay. Tell the others." You say and stand back up.

- - - - - - - - - -

"We don't know if we have a case, so we will be working this on our own time. Does anyone want to leave?" Aaron asks.

No one says anything.

"Good. Reid?"

"I cannot concentrate for longer than forty seconds which makes me the stupidest person in the room." Reid states. "So please," his voice gets shaky, "help me."

You swallow hard. You always liked Reid, you like working with him. Until now, however, you haven't paid much attention to him as an actual person, only as a colleague.

"Do you have any idea who the stalker could be? Did Maeve say anything about that?" JJ asks.

Reid shakes his head: "I don't think so. But I cannot trust my memory right now."

You shoot Aaron a look, who seems almost as upset as Reid. He really is Reid's dad. When your eyes meet, Aaron quietly begs you to do something about this.

"Let's take a walk." You tell Reid.

Apparently not able to really compute what's happening around him, Reid just says: "Okay." and grabs his jacket. The others nod and get to working on the case.

Your bag in one hand, you hold the elevator doors open for Reid. Silently, you wait for the elevator to reach the first floor. Staring at the ground, he follows you outside.

"I don't think I ever saw you being this quiet." You state, expecting him to launch into a lecture about the average number of words spoken in one day. But he doesn't answer you at all.

After getting coffee at a nearby café, you walk with Reid towards Lafayette Square. When the park comes into sight, you slowly put your arm around his waist. At first, you feel him tense, but soon he leans into you and lets out a quiet sigh.

"Talk to me, Spencer." You tell him with a low voice.

He links his arm with yours and empties his cup. Then he says: "A few weeks ago, just before we hung up, Maeve said lover you, bye. I know it was just a slip, but…"

"But she said it."

Spencer nods.

"You didn't say it back?"

"No, I- I wanted to wait until we see each other face to face."

You squeeze him gently: "You never seen each other?"

"Never, but it doesn't matter."

"Why?"

"Because she's already the most beautiful girl in the world to me."

You smile brightly: "You'll get the chance to tell her. I promise."

"You can't promise me that."

"Of course I can."

For a few minutes, you keep walking in silence. Eventually, Reid says: "Hotch still loves you."

That catches you off guard and the first thing that comes to your mind, is to tell the truth: "I know."

"I've never seen him as happy as he was with you. Not with his ex-wife not anytime ever. He really loves you."

You almost trip over your own feet. You have no idea what you should say about that. It just makes you happy. For a moment, you lay your head on Spencer's shoulder.

Then you say: "Maybe Garcia found more information about Maeve by now." You let go of him and grab your phone. Indeed, there is a message from Garcia. You quickly read through it, smiling at the file she sent you.

"Do you want to see what Maeve looks like?"

"What?" Reid stops dead in his tracks.

"Garcia found her. Do you want to see her?"

"No." He says immediately.

"Okay, and- oh." You furrow your eyebrows at the next text. "Garcia also found her fiancé."

- - - - - - - - - -

Reid and you arrive with screeching tires at the address Aaron and the others are already at to talk to the fiancé. Kindly, they waited for you. Aaron nods at you when your eyes meet as Spencer is somewhat more concentrated now. Maybe it's because he's less panicked and rather irritated since you found out about the fiancé.

Aaron, Morgan, JJ, Reid, and you wait in front of the apartment door. Usually, you'd never join them to question someone but since you drove Reid here, you're allowed to tag along. Of course, behind the others.

Morgan knocks and announces himself as FBI. The lock clicks and a pale, black-haired woman opens the door.

"We're looking for Robert Putnam." Aaron states sternly.

"I'm Bobby's girlfriend." She answers smiling. "Diane Huntington."

The others don't really look at her as they are focused on finding Putnam. But you do. And you don't like what you see. She seems smug. Like she's annoyed that…it took you so long to come here?

"May we come in?" Aaron asks.

"Of course." She steps aside, observing Reid. There is that smile again. "Bobby?" Huntington calls.

A young man walks into the living room. His eyes land on Reid immediately: "Don't I know you?"

"You were in the restaurant."

Aaron looks at Putnam and back at Reid. Then he pushes Reid by the shoulders: "Out."

"But…"

"Out, now." He pushes him out of the apartment. You follow them into the hallway.

"Why does he know you?"

"I- When I was at the restaurant to meet Maeve, he was there as well." Reid stammers.

"That means you're a witness, you can't be here."

"I didn't know…"

"We'll wait outside." You interrupt, causing Aaron to give you a thankful smile.

Reid instantly goes back to pacing around. You take a deep breath and try to think of something to clam him down. Getting out your car keys, you tell him that you'll be right back. While rummaging through the glove compartment of your car, you see Huntington approaching Reid. You hear her talking to him. When you find what you looked for, you walk back over. Reid is clearly uncomfortable, so you say: "We have to get going. If there is anything else, please talk to SSA Hotchner."

You see how her jaw clenches and her lips tighten. As an answer, you give her a bright smile and guide Reid to your car.

"Here." You put the hair tie you got around his wrist.

"What is this for?"

You pull on the tie and let it snap against his skin: "Whenever you feel like you're getting overwhelmed, try this."

He flinches at the sensation but does it himself.

"Okay?"

He nods: "Okay."

- - - - - - - - - -

"I know it's difficult right now, but we need to take a break." Aaron declares. "Twenty minutes." He adds. Everyone thankfully agrees, even Reid gets up to stretch, nevertheless still letting the hair tie snap against his wrist now and then.

Your head is spinning. Profiling isn't your job, but you cannot leave. You need to clear your head. Trying not to attract attention, you follow Aaron towards his office.

"Can we fuck?" You whisper. He turns on his heels to look at you silently. You ask: "Doesn't it help you to relax as well?"

"Unbelievable." He shakes his head.

"So, no?" You take a look at your watch: eighteen minutes left. "No worries." Understanding, you smile at him: "I'll do it on my own."

He is still staring at you, not moving.

"Where on earth are you going to ma-" An agent walks by and Aaron sternly greets her. Whisper-shouting he starts over: "Where on earth are you going to masturbate?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?" You grin.

"What?"

"Ah," you make a dismissive gesture, "you wouldn't understand." As you go to walk away, he grabs you by the upper arm: "Where?" His voice is gravelly.

You freeze, feeling his fingers dig into the muscle of your arm. Eventually, you say: "The small evidence room down the hall. The one where they put the temporary-"

"Yeah, I know. I've been working here almost ten years." He squints: "But how do you know?"

Embarrassed, you clear your throat: "When we didn't- I mean before we- I was stressed, okay!?"

"Good God." Flabbergasted, Aaron lets out a chuckle. After pause, he lets go of your arm: "I'm getting hard just thinking about that. We better hurry."

Relieved, you walk out of the bullpen, trying really hard not to run. Pretending to be on the phone, Aaron follows you. No one bats an eye.

Yanking open the door to said room, you hold it for him to squeeze in past you. Quickly, you lock it. When you turn around, Aaron already got rid of his jacket, hastily loosening his tie. Throwing your jacket on the ground next to his, you take off your (his) dress shirt as well, before unceremoniously pulling down your pants and panties.

"You fine with being on top?" You ask.

"Oh, yeah." Aaron smiles, his dress pants around his ankles, condom already on.

He doesn't have to tell you twice. Without further discussion, you lay down on the floor, spreading your legs as Aaron settles between them. He looks you in the eyes, lining himself up with your entrance, waiting until you nod. When you do, he jerks his hips forwards. Pressing your lips together, you manage to keep yourself from crying out loud.

"What is it, darling?" Aaron smugly whispers into your ear.

"Fuck. Your-"

"What?"

"Your dick is fucking huge." You tell him through gritted teeth. He groans at your answer and speeds up his movements. Indulging in the sensation, you let out a series of moans Aaron thankfully silences by pressing his lips onto yours.

Bending your knees, you let him fuck you deeper, causing him to let out a whimper.

Your voice is breathy when you ask: "You like that?"

"I love it." Aaron growls as he starts to alternate between fast and hard thrusts.

Turned on by the surroundings and time limit, you slither your hand between your and his pelvis to rub your clit. When he notices, Aaron leans up until he's kneeling between your legs. Then he grabs your hips and forcefully pulls your lower body on his lap, making you arch your back. Picking up in speed again, he grabs your neck with one hand and puts his weight partially onto it. Your eyes widen, you can barely breathe. After a few seconds, Aaron lets go and your chest heaves as you inhale deeply.

"Again?"

Frantically, you nod: "Yes."

Without missing a beat, he grabs you by the neck again. This time, he doesn't let go so quickly. You feel the blood in the side of your neck pressing against the resistance of his tight grip. Your eyes roll back, and you aggressively work your clit. Aaron lets you breathe for a second, causing you to cough and inhale sharply, before cutting off the blood flow a third time.

Now you seriously start to lose your shit. Getting lightheaded, you feel hot and cold at the same time. The noise escaping your lips rather sounds gurling than an actual moan.

You force your eyes open to take a look at Aaron. His forehead is a little sweaty, his cheeks are flushed, and his eyes are pitch black. The view sends a lightning blot down your spine and your hips jerk up. The weight on your neck vanishes and you gasp for air. Your thighs clench, your walls spasm, and your body goes rigid.

Your orgasm is glorious. Endorphins rush through your veins. Would anyone ask you what your name is right now, you wouldn't know.

Still catching your breath, you feel Aaron roll off you. Blindly, you feel for his hand. When you find it, you intertwine your fingers with his and lift it to press a kiss to the back of it.

"How long?" You breathe out.

Aaron lifts his arm to take a look at his watch: "Three minutes left."

"Hmh." You acknowledge the information and keep lying still for a few more seconds, letting your thoughts wander.

Suddenly, your eyes shoot open. Scrambling to put your clothes back on, you ask: "Did you tell Huntington Spencer's name?"

Aaron gets up as well, pulling his pants up: "What?"

"Did you call him Doctor in front of them?"

"No."

Your eyes widen as you hastily straighten out your shirt: "I think I know who the stalker is."

- - - - - - - - - -

You take exactly ten seconds to wash your hands and check your appearance before you sprint back to the bullpen, applying deodorant on the run.

"The ex-fiancé gave you pictures, didn't he? The one the stalker sent?" You yell across the room.

Prentiss gets up from her desk: "Yeah, why?"

"Where?" Is all you need to ask to make her run to the conference room with you to show you the pictures.

JJ and Garcia look up from the pictures spread in front of them. Reid and Aaron walk in as well. Aaron looks quite put together, but still disheveled. One could blame it on stress. However, that doesn't matter now.

"Did you find something?" You ask.

JJ pushes one of the pictures towards you: "This one has Maeve's face crossed out and we think it is-"

"Eyeliner." You complete her sentence. The others – except Spencer – lean over your shoulder to take a look at it.

"I think it's Huntington." You state.

Everyone turns to look at you.

"One, she was happy to see Spencer. Her pupils widened and her smile was off. Second, she knew his name without anyone of us mentioning it. Three, this is eyeliner, the same shade she wears."

Garcia instantly starts typing on her keyboard: "Oh my god." She turns the laptop to show you: "Diane Huntington is a false name. Her name is Diane Turner. She used to work at the same lab as Maeve and applied for a PhD, but her project got rejected."

"By Maeve?" Reid asks.

"Yeah." Garcia confirms wide-eyed.

"Find her. Now." Aaron orders. "Everyone else: suit up."

"Garcia, send me Tuner's work." Your phone dings before you even finished the sentence. You turn to Aaron: "I'm coming with you."

"No way." He shakes his head.

"Yes, I am. I can help. She needs someone to validate her work."

There's not enough time to discuss this further, so he gives up and lets you follow the rest of team to the SUVs.

- - - - - - - - - -

Aaron checks your vest about five times before he allows you to step out of the car. Finally, he lets you open the door. You squeeze his hand: "I need to do this. We need to help Spencer."

"I know." He mumbles. "I still hate it. Last time you did something like this I swore to never let you do it again."

"It was fine then, it will be now." You tell him, hoping to convince yourself as well.

As soon as Reid walks to the door of the building, Turner's voice blares out of the intercom: "Only the Doctor."

You make your way to the door until you are in sight of the security camera.

"Fuck off." Turner tells you.

"Wouldn't you rather talk to a Professor in your field instead of a Doctor who has no way of understanding how brilliant you are?"

She huffs: "Professor?"

You give her a short version of your CV before saying: "Your theory about cells dying in correlation of one's decision to commit suicide is genius. No one ever thought of that possibility, except you. So please, let me in."

Reid stares at you, concern in his eyes. Please, don't let me fuck this up. You repeat in your head.

"Fine." Tuner finally answers. "But the Doctor comes too. I want to see the look in his eyes when he realizes he fell for the wrong girl."

"Okay." He agrees instantly.

Everyone collective lets out a relieved breath. The door buzzes and you push it open. Reid walks past you but before you can follow him, Aaron grabs your hand. Surprised, you turn around. He pulls you into a hug and whispers: "Please come back to me."

Gently, you kiss his cheek: "I always came back, didn't I?"

He chuckles and lets go of you: "Yeah."

Squeezing his hand one last time, you take a deep breath and follow Reid up the stairs.

You meet him at the top of the stairs, the wood creaking under your shoes. The apartment is dusty and barely lit. Hesitantly, you take one step after the other down the hallway.

Reid grabs your hand. The gesture surprises you. More than anything else surprised you today. And it was a long day.

"Thank you." He says with a small voice.

"Don't thank me yet."

"I might not get the chance to do it later."

You shoot him a scared look. He's right. "Always." You tell him.

He lets go and you turn the corner.

You recognize Maeve instantly, even though she is sitting with the back to you. Next to her, Turner stands, holding a gun to Maeve's head. You eye Reid; his eyes are fixed on who he now realizes is his girlfriend.

"Sit." Turner orders, pointing the gun at the chair in front of her.

"Which one of us?" You ask since it's only one chair. She clearly planned for only Reid to be here.

"The Doctor." She smiles. Reid does as told, his body all tense. You go to stand next to him. "Well, well." Turner laughs. "Wouldn't it be tragic if you never get to look your girlfriend in the eyes?" She presses the barrel of the gun against Maeve's head who tries to turn it to look at Spencer, but instantly gets hit in the face for it.

"Hey!" Reid yells. "You stupid-" You interrupt him by laying your hand on his shoulder.

He clears his throat: "Me for her."

Tuner's mouth falls open: "You would die for her? Without even having seen her face?"

"Of course." Spencer doesn't even hesitate.

"Can you believe that?" Turner looks at you.

"Yes." Your voice is calm. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Reid snapping the hair tie you gave him against his wrist.

"How about me for her?" You offer.

"What the fuck is this?" Turner laughs. Reid looks at you, stunned.

"Well, I'm the one you want to work with. What good will he be?"

"You're right." She keeps smiling and aims her gun at Reid.

"No." You step in front of him.

She lets the gun sink and huffs: "Fine…But there's one thing I'd like to do."

You clench your jaw; your heart feels like it's about to burst.

Dramatically, she turns the chair Maeve is sitting on. You immediately step aside to let Spencer see her. Their eyes meet. Both of them tear up. It's one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen.

"Hey." Maeve smiles at Reid.

"I love you." Is the first thing he answers.

She lets out a sob.

Turner rolls her eyes: "Shut up."

"What was it you wanted to do?" You try to distract her.

"Oh right."

She presses the gun against Maeve's thigh and shoots.

What follows is a clusterfuck of yelling and crying.

That is, until Tuner points her gun at Maeve again: "Everyone calm down. Let a girl have some fun…now," she gestures with the gun towards the door, "walk out of here."

"I-" Maeve tries but sinks back down whimpering, "I can't."

"You can. Come on." You encourage her as Reid gets up and extends his arms.

She tries again, tears running down her face, and blood down her jeans. But this time she manages to get up.

Slowly, you walk towards her: "I will take her place, okay?"

You're almost next to Maeve when Tuner says: "Meh, you know what: I changed my mind."

From the first syllable she utters, you know she will shoot Maeve. It gives you about one second to move. You throw yourself forward.

The pain in your neck hits you quicker than the sound of the gun being fired. You black out for a moment. Hitting the ground pulls you back into clarity. Another shot is fired, and you hear someone else fall to the ground with a thump. Turner shot herself.

Your eyes dart around the room and you make out Reid next to you. He's leaning over Maeve. You force yourself to sit up. She's not moving.

"Is she okay?" You ask panicked.

"Yeah." She coughs. You turn around more and see that she got hit in the shoulder, but you apparently managed to divert the bullet enough for her not to be critically wounded.

"Oh god." Spencer breathes out when he looks at you.

"What?" You furrow your eyebrows.

"Your neck, you-"

Confused, you touch the side of your neck. It feels wet. You look at your hand. It's red. "Shit." You mumble. Now you now how you diverted the bullet: With your carotid. The blood runs down your shoulder, arm, and back. It's so much. By now you can literally feel your body being drained.

Reid already took off his sweater to press it against the side of your neck. You barely feel your body, but you feel it enough to be in pain. Your eyes get blurry.

Suddenly, Reid vanishes out of your peripheral and Aaron's face appears in front of you.

"I'm sorry." You tell him as you start to cry.

"No, no. Stop." He sobs, but then yells: "WHERE'S THE AMBULANCE?"

Morgan answers something but you cannot make it out.

"Aaron." It takes you a lot of effort to talk. "Aaron."

He leans down and presses a kiss to your lips.

"I'm so sorry." You repeat, only whispering by now. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, but you will not die on me."

"It's okay, darling. It's okay."

"Please, no." Hot tears fall from his eyes onto your cheeks.

"Promise me," you swallow hard, barely able to see, "Promise me to tell everyone how we met, how you used to make me laugh, not how it ended. Tell them how it began, how it was." you cough, desperately clawing into Aaron's arm, "Let your team know that you are not always this stern. And promise me, that you don't stop believing in love. I need you to believe in it. Because I believe in you, Aaron Hotchner."

He nods, pressing your hand against his chest: "I promise."

"Good." You smile.

And then everything goes dark.

END OF BOOK ONE