(3) Daring

"Thanks for the food."

"You're welcome."

It's quiet for a moment. "Would you like to stay over?"

You hesitate. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

Aaron looks at his hands. Then he asks: "Why?"

Taking a deep breath, you force yourself to answer truthfully: "I'm scared."

His head shoots up: "Of me?"

"No! Well, yes…I-" You sigh. "I look different, Aaron. I move different."

His eyes dart over the parts of your body he's able to see. Then to your crane and back.

"That doesn't matter to me."

"It does to me. And also…I am scared of not remembering things. That you'll talk of something that I have no idea about."

Calmly, he puts his hands on the table: "I will never again blame you for not remembering something. That was not okay for me to do. Also…" He's as hesitant as you are. But he looks at you when he tells you: "I don't want to give up on this relationship."

Your heart gets heavy; however, you cannot help yourself but smile. You want to try, you really do…"I want to be with you again, but we…we are so far apart right now. I don't know if I can live up to your expectations." You admit with a small voice.

"You have no idea, do you?" Aaron leans closer.

You face falls: "I- you said you wouldn't be mad if I-"

"That's not what I'm getting at." He interrupts you. "Do you have any idea about the impact you had and continue to have on my life? How important you are? How much it matters to me that you are even sitting here right now?"

You mouth falls open. Slowly, you shake your head: "Apparently not."

"If it gets too much at any point, I will call you a taxi to get home. But please, stay."

Aaron's entire body is tense, he's holding his breath until you agree: "Okay."

- - - - - - - - -

"You don't have your meds. What do you need?"

"Do you have a muscle relaxant?"

Aaron nods and walks to the bathroom, leaving you sitting on his bed.

You're still not sure about this. On the one hand, it feels incredibly good to be here, on the other hand, you're still scared about, well, everything.

"Here." He hands you a cream. You take it and look at it without moving. Aaron observes you and asks after a few seconds: "Should I wait in the living room?"

You consider it for a moment. It's thoughtful of him. He probably knows how you feel. Even though you don't have visible scars – except the one on your neck – you feel anxious about your body.

"No. It's alight." You decide and get up. Taking off your dress shirt, you explain: "Today, in class, I insisted on standing up for the entire lecture and now my legs are giving me hell for it."

Aaron chuckles: "You're as stubborn as ever."

"Oh, yeah." You smile. Slowly, you start to get out of your dress pants. Pressing your lips together, you keep yourself from groaning.

"I can see that you are in pain." He comments. Looking at him for a second, you go on and tell him: "Yeah, well, I'm almost used to it by now."

"What did the doctor say about it?"

"I was told that even though my muscles didn't deteriorate that much, it can take some time for them to built up again. Worst case, I developed a CRPS."

"CRPS?"

"Complex regional pain syndrome."

"Is that treatable?"

"Possibly; I try not to think about it." Throwing your pants on the dresser, you add: "Even

though it's really fucking difficult not to think about it when you're in pain constantly."

You sit back down on the bed and open the cream. "Let me help you?" Aaron goes to sit next

to you. "Okay." You lean back and stretch out your legs. It's quite heartwarming how careful he starts to massage the cream into your skin. When he touches your calves, you twitch. "Did I hurt you?" He asks worried. "It's fine. It's one of the worst spots. Go on." Observing his hands on your legs, you get lost in admiring them as well as his toned arms. It's nice to have skin contact again.

"Hey." Aaron says.

"Sorry, what did you say?" You raise your gaze.

He's grinning.

"What?"

"You were staring."

Clearing your voice, you swing your legs over the edge of the bed: "Thank you."

- - - - - - - - -

After brushing your teeth, you are indecisive about how to act. Do you just go back to how you used to go to bed? Do you put your arms around him? Do you even touch him?

"Ehm…" You sit up against the headboard and watch as Aaron takes off his slacks. "I don't know how to do this."

He stops what he's doing to look at you: "Me neither."

You let out a chuckle: "We'll figure it out then."

Aaron smiles: "Of course we will." His determination moves you.

What moves you even more is how nonchalantly he takes off his shirt. He doesn't hesitate for a second to expose his scarred stomach. Just like that he does what used to be impossible for him. You're reminded of what Aaron overcame. Rapidly, you blink the tears away.

"Hey." He says with a soft voice and crawls onto the bed. "Are you alright?"

"You damn profilers." You let out a laugh, a tear betraying you as it runs down your cheek. Slowly, Aaron comes closer. You nod and open your arms, allowing him to pull you into a hug. The feeling, the sensation of being held by him triggers, is overwhelming. At first, your breathing simply becomes irregular. As he tightens his hug and whispers affirmations, you start to sob. Not the way you silently cried on your sofa all by yourself. You're crying in relieve.

With one hand, Aaron starts to caress the back of your head, the other keeping you pressed against his chest. Your face buried in the crook of his neck, you weep, and sob, and cry. You're not really able to understand what Aaron is saying until you calmed down a bit.

"I'm here." He keeps repeating. "I'm here."

Sniveling, you raise you head and rub your face dry. All the sadness and anxiety just spilled out of you. It feels like a massive weight has been lifted. It's easier to breathe.

Tenderly, Aaron puts his hands on your cheeks and pulls your head towards him. Then he lovingly kisses your forehead.

"Your beard is scratchy." You mumble. "I still like it though."

Aaron chuckles and kisses your cheek. When you properly look at him again, you see that his eyes are red as well. He cried with you. "I missed you so much." You tell him forthright. "And I'm really glad I dared to come here."

"Me too, darling, me too."

- - - - - - - - -

You get woken up by sounds coming from the kitchen. Groaning, you reach for your phone on the nightstand. It's just past six. You don't have a lecture today. You curse before you remember where you are. And why there are even sounds coming from the kitchen. Not your kitchen, by the way. Carefully, you get to your feet. You're a little surprised by how alright your legs feel. You get the Georgetown sweater you left in Aaron's dresser at some point. Pulling it over you head, you walk into the kitchen.

Aaron looks really good. He's wearing his dark blue sweatpants and a white shirt. His hair disheveled, and the beard…it really makes him look a little mischievous.

He hears you walk in and turns around. Smiling brightly, he says: "You look so cute."

Still tired, you let out a quiet chuckle. Maybe it's because you're still half asleep, maybe it's because he just complimented you. Whatever the reason, you walk straight over to Aaron and hug him. He instantly puts his arms around you: "Oh, hey." Softly, he kisses your temple. "Did you sleep okay?"

Again, being so close to him, overwhelms you in the best way possible. His scent is familiar. The sensation is. The warmth. Still in his arms, you look up at him: "Yeah."

It lasts just a second. But he kisses you. You blink in surprise. You didn't kiss for over a month.

Even though Aaron doesn't let go of you, he leans back a little. His cheeks flush.

"You're adorable when you get shy." You smile brightly. He can't look you in the eyes but caresses your arm that's wrapped around him. "I think that's what surprised me the most about you. Like when we were at the bar with Em and JJ. Or when you brought me flowers."

His voice is high pitched when he asks: "Really? That surprised you most?" Aaron lets go of you to look at your face properly.

You grin: "Yeah, and your big, girthy cock."

Aaron bursts out in laughter. It's a sound you haven't heard in a while. It lights up the room immediately. You add: "I mean, you exude big dick energy, but it's still amazing in person."

He shakes his head in amusement: "Yesterday, no one would have been able to convince me, that today I would be standing here with you as you compliment my dick."

You nudge his jaw with your nose: "Life is full of surprises."

He hums in agreement, then his lips are on yours again. This time he isn't as shy. You put you arms around his neck and open your lips. Aaron lets out a sigh as he deepens the kiss. Leaning your head to the side, you keep kissing him until your head is spinning.

He puts his head on your shoulder and you caress the back of his neck. Then you just stand there in silence for over a minute. "Do you want a coffee?" Aarons asks, his voice muffled by your sweater. Nodding, you take a step back and watch as he prepares the machine.

"I found out that I no longer like it as sweet as before."

"Show me, I'll make sure to do it like that from now on." He gestures towards the mug.

With your coffee in hand, you return to the bedroom to put your clothes on. "I want to come to the BAU with you today." You state while buttoning your dress shirt.

Aaron looks at you surprised: "Really?"

"Yeah, I want to see the team. I ghosted them long enough."

"No one is mad at you for taking time to heal."

"Okay." You smooth out your suit jacket. "I still want to tag along today."

"It'll be great to see you at work again." He smiles and hands you your cane on the way out the door.

You don't know yet if you will ever work at the FBI again. But you don't say that. For now.