(5) Intermission

"Please, Aaron, just take me home." You repeat.

He looks at you quietly. Then he pleads: "Either let me take you to the ER or take care of the bandage when we're home."

You know that he's right. But your mind is clouded by embarrassment and anger. You slap the car door. The sharp pain grounds you for a moment.

"Fine. You look at it then."

Relieved, he starts the engine and turns the car around to drive towards your house.

After you stared out the window for a little longer, you eventually mumble: "Sorry."

Aaron takes one hand off the steering wheel to grab yours and squeezes it. The innocence of the gesture makes your heart ache.

When he parks the car, you patiently wait for Aaron to walk around the hood to help you get out instead of doing it by yourself. He opens the door for you, and you grab his arm to pull yourself up. Then he guides you to the door of your house. Pushing it open, you let go off his arm to let him inside as well.

"I have everything upstairs." You inform him. The stairs you climb yourself. Aaron doesn't say anything about it. Slowly, you seem to find a middle ground of what you want to do yourself and what you're okay about getting help with.

Sitting down on the edge of the bathtub, you point at a small basket that has bandages, antiseptics, and whatnot inside. Before you can tell him what he needs to do, he informs you: "I used most of these things myself after I got out of the hospital."

Your eyes dart to his stomach. "Right." You nod.

He sits down next to you, and you turn your head to give him better access. Carefully, he starts to take off the bandage. "You can do it faster. The doc does as well. It doesn't really hurt anymore."

"Okay." He says but keeps up the slow movements anyways. It makes you smile. Relieved, you let out a sigh, when you feel the air hit the wound.

"How does it look?"

He halts in his movements: "You haven't seen it?"

You shake your head no: "I never looked at it."

"Oh." He throws away the used bandage. "It's just a red stripe by now."

"Do you think it will look like your scars?"

"No." He starts to disinfect the area on the side of your neck even though it probably isn't necessary anymore.

When he's done, he tells you: "I had to look at mine because I didn't want anyone else to look at them. Not even a doctor after I was released. So, maybe, you are doing better than you think."

You furrow your eyebrows: "Letting someone I love look at it, because I don't want to, is better?"

Aaron stares at you, frozen.

Turning your head to look at him, you ask: "What?"

"You love me?" He sounds stunned, his voice higher than usual.

You mouth falls open: "Of course I do."

His eyes dart over your face. He doesn't seem convinced.

It hurts you in a way you didn't think was possible. You really made him think that you don't love him anymore. Sure, you were confused. Had difficulties remembering. You still internally flinch at the thought of forgetting his name. You weren't able to face him for weeks. But of course, you never stopped loving him. You start cry at the thought of what he must have went through.

"Oh my god, Aaron." Tears run down your cheeks.

He looks confused: "I- did I say something wrong?"

You sob and laugh through it. How can someone be so precious? Especially with the shit he went through.

You grab his face with both hands: "Aaron, I love you. And I am so, so sorry, I made you doubt that."

He puts his hands on yours and slowly takes them off his face to kiss them.

"I just thought, with what happened and…"

"I understand." You nod. "It's my fault. I am sorry."

He leans forwards and presses a kiss to your lips. Resting his forehead against yours, he whispers: "I couldn't believe it when you kissed me back this morning."

You chuckle: "You really are shy, aren't you?"

Aarons sits back up straight: "Somehow, only in your presence."

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment."

Now he chuckles, his eyes sparkling: "You've seen me in an interrogation room. It most definitely is an achievement."

Smiling, press another kiss to his lips. "I always thought that was incredibly attractive. Maybe that's why I felt the urge to call you daddy."

Shaking his head, Aaron puts his arm around you. Then he kisses your temple.

"I've missed you." He says. "And I love you too."

- - - - - - - - -

With a sigh, you fall into your bed. It's the first time you feel the pillow on the side of your neck since you got shot. It's way more comfortable. It was definitely the right decision to not put on a bandage on again.

Lifting the blanket, you invite Aaron to lay down next to you. He gladly does. Laying your head on his chest, you tell him: "I still hate myself for what happened today."

He runs his fingers through your hair: "You will be fine."

It's quiet after that for a while. Then he says: "You told me I need to stop blaming myself for getting injured on the job. You should try to do the same. It wasn't your fault."

You look up at him: "It was not yours either, by the way. I can feel the guilt radiating off of you. I decided to go in there, and the bitch decided to shoot me. You could not have influenced either of these things."

He chuckles.

"What's funny about that?"

"Nice to hear you admit how unbearably stubborn you are."

You prop yourself up on your elbow: "Unbearably?"

"Am I wrong?" He raises an eyebrow. "You going to look at me and tell me that I'm wrong?"

That makes you laugh out loud. You crawl onto his lap. Straddling it, you lean down to kiss him. Aaron lets out a sigh and puts his arm around you to hold you close as he deepens the kiss.

"I'm really glad you are, though." He whispers. "I'm pretty sure the only reason you are alive is because you were too stubborn to die."

"I like that idea." You smile at him. "But we both know you're the reason I'm alive."

Aaron looks like he wants to disagree but then decides: "You know what, I'm simply will take that victory and run with it."

You lean down one more time and press another kiss to his lips, caressing his cheeks.

Despite all the bad things that happened today, you fall asleep peacefully.

- - - - - - - - -

"Hey." You hear a familiar voice. Groaning, you turn to your other side and pull the blanket up to your chin: "Go away."

"I made you coffee."

Your eyes shoot open: "Coffee?"

"Yeah, but you should hurry. Otherwise, I'll drink it."

"You wouldn't dare." You turn around to find a grinning Aaron standing next to your bed.

"Try me." He lifts the mug to his lips.

"Fine!" You sit up and make grabby hands.

He hands it to you: "No one would believe me if I told them how adorable you are in the morning."

Narrowing your eyes, you take a sip before you say in a low voice: "That's right: no one."

Aaron kisses your forehead and tells you: "I have to go now."

"Already?"

"Duty calls."

You sigh: "Okay."

He pauses before he asks: "Will you come back eventually?"

Keeping up the eye contact, you swallow hard: "I honestly don't know."

"Talk about it tonight at dinner?"

"Oh, you're gonna sleep here tonight as well?"

His face falls.

"I'm kidding. I'm looking forward to it."

Aaron shakes his head but smiles and kisses you goodbye.

- - - - - - - - -

You're in the living room, grading papers, when your cell rings.

"Hey, babe." You answer.

"Ehm, hey." Garcia replies.

"Oh."

The both of you remain silent for a few seconds.

"Why are you calling from Aaron's number?"

"He asked me to tell you that the team was called on a case. Hotch is in a meeting with Strauss to get instructions."

It makes kind of sense that he asked Garcia to call you, however: "Why on earth is Strauss giving instructions?"

"Oh, ehm. Because- Prentiss is calling, I gotta-"

"Garcia." You hear that she doesn't want to answer. "Why is Strauss giving instructions?"

"Hotch asked me not to tell you."

That confuses you even more.

You sigh: "I understand."

"Oh." Garcia sound relieved.

"Send me a car." You instruct. "Now."

She hesitated but then you hear her typing away: "An Agent will pick you up in fifteen minutes."

"Great."

"Of course, honey."

"Thank you. And don't call me honey."

"Understood."

You hang up.

Staring at the table, you process the information you just got. Your thoughts immediately go to Strauss is giving Aaron hell because of what happened to me. You don't see any other reason why he would ask Garcia not to tell you about it.

Hastily, you get up and put on clothes you can show up at the Bureau in. A little make-up has to make do for now. Then you hear the car park in front of your house already.

You grab your bag and cane and step outside.

"Professor? I was instructed to pick you up."

- - - - - - - - -

On the road, you text Garcia: "Set up a meeting with Strauss for me, in 30mins."

She replies with a series of emoticons you interpret as a positive answer.

You're fidgeting with your cell, debating if you should text Aaron as well. You decide against it. He's probably stressed enough without you suddenly bursting into the mix.

Just as you arrive, you see two SUVs leave. You assume it's the team headed for the airport. A part of you wants to chase after them and join. The other part wants to kick down Strauss' door. For now, the latter is winning.

Aggressively, you knock.

"Come in."

Strauss is sitting behind her desk, looking at you expectantly.

"I was surprised when Miss Garcia called me." She tells you.

"Me too." You retort.

Strauss blinks, seemingly surprised by your stern tone.

"What can I do for you? And please, sit down." She gestures towards the chairs in front of her desk.

Leaning on your cane with both hands, you decline: "No, thank you."

"Are you sure that-"

"Yes." You interrupt. Without missing a beat, you ask: "Would you disclose to me why SSA Hotchner is suddenly under supervision?"

Your tone leaves absolutely no room for discussion. Even though she hasn't to answer to you.

"Because his decisions led to a civilian being critically injured during a federal investigation."

"That civilian being me, I assume?"

"Yes."

"I am an official liaison and allowed to do field work."

"You are a forensic profiler, not a negotiator for hostage situations."

For just a second, it makes you smile that she called you a forensic profiler. The team must have established that while you were away.

"It was my decision to go in."

"And it was Hotchner's job to stop you."

"Maeve would have died!"

"You don't know that."

You don't like that she makes you lose your composure while she manages to stay calm.

"Okay." You sigh. "We both know that Aaron Hotchner is an Agent of fidelity, bravery, and integrity, and that there is no reason to treat him like that."

"I know the FBI slogan, nice touch though."

You let out a frustrated laugh: "What needs to happen for you to leave him alone?"

"I appreciate your integrity, but this isn't your battle to fight."

"It is my fight since you made it about me."

Strauss gets up: "I will not have this discussion with you."

"Too late." You huff.

"As long as you are working for the Bureau, you will have to accept the decisions I make. And I made the decision to put Agent Hotchner under supervision. Now get out of my office."

Her anger slowly becomes evident in her voice.

"You know." You get out your badge. "Until right now, I didn't know if I even wanted to come back. You just made that decision really easy for me."

You throw the badge on her desk: "I resign."

Her eyes widen.

"And now I'd like to schedule an appointment with the director."