Chapter 1: The Babes... Better known as Witchers

"Hello love, I have an appointment for an adoption? Should be Julian Alfred Pankratz." Jaskier says to the older brunette behind the counter. She types for a moment and says-

"Oh yes! Mr.Pankratz! You're here for an adoption, you've already spoken to our people and had the house inspection, yes?" She asks as she presses a button on the desk.

"Yes ma'am. I spoke with Damien Lentin I believe was his name. I got my inspection and everything! I brought my letter from the inspection company too, just in case." Jaskier said to the secretary. He was so excited! This morning he had had picked out his softest jeans and a comfy tie dyed sweatshirt along with his black boots and his color block backpack. He wanted to make sure he had everything he needed and that his (hopefully) new pets would like him.

Jaskier had been wanting to get a pet for a while now. Since he just finished his latest and greatest international tour, he decided he would get one...or two...or three.... He had been planning since he got back to his home. He put locks on some doors, reorganized his kitchen, fixed the upstairs into three bedrooms, and he even finished the basement so they could have a play space other than the expansive backyard. Jaskier was tired of the big house always being empty. Sure he had friends and executives and people from the record label over all the time but he wanted… something else. Something more home-y. More family-like.

That's what brought him here to the city "Rehabilitation of Pets and Adoption Center". A few weeks ago he had an inspector come to the house and make sure it was pet safe, which Jaskier passed with flying colors. He had already told one of the employees that would be handling his case that he was looking for a larger more independent pet. Maybe a cub or puppy. He wanted one that was intelligent and maybe one who had been in the center for a long time. He just wanted a pet that would take effort, one that he would have to earn their trust. He wanted to properly bond and have a stable relationship with them. Plus it would give him something to do.

Soon a young man dressed in blue scrubs walked out and shook Jaskier's hand.

"I'm Damien, we spoke on the phone. We received your inspection and all your paperwork. I have a few pets lined up that I think you'll like but you can see anyone here! We're so happy to have you adopting from us Mr. Pankratz!" The young man said as he led Jaskier to the double doors that opened up to the kennels and rooms.

Jaskier was met with about a dozen kennels and then four padded rooms through an arched doorway. Pretty little thin pets resided in most of the kennels. Mostly young kittens and pups. Jaskier spotted a few bunnies and fewer cubs. Most looked like they were not even 18 and not even 160lbs max. Damien walked him up to one pup who was sitting on the floor chewing on a chew ring.

"Here's Conner! He's one of our-" Damien started but Jaskier cut him off.

"No offense Damien but he's not quite what I'm looking for… Do you have anyone...older?" Jaskier asked and waved bye bye to the pup. Damien looked around for a moment.

"Are you sure you want an old pet? You could really have any of these ones. They all play together and get along when we have them out for playtime. Are you really wanting… a charity case pet?" The scrub clad boy asked. Jaskier got a bit upset but calmed immediately.

"Yes I would. That is what I told you I wanted. Now do you have anyone here that would satisfy that or do I need to find another place?" Jaskier asked calmly. He found three other centers that had adoption options. He just chose this one because it had the best reviews.

"No sir! We have um… we have three that might be what you're looking for. Granted they have been aggressive and have been known to harm their previous adopters." Damien said as we walked to the farthest room from the rest of the population. There was a big window looking in on…

"These are our Witcher rescues. We dug them out of the Kaer Morhen rubble. Eskel is the one reading, Lambert's doing push ups and...Geralt is there. He's the most jumpy. They're a mix of cat,wolf, and bear. They usually won't talk but I guess you can try. The door won't open without a key card so I'll leave you to...get… acquainted." Damien explained as Jaskier smiled and looked onto the three perfectly perfect boys.

All three of them were mountains of muscle and oh they have those gleaming yellow eyes! Jaskier loves witchers! He had seen them before at parks and sometimes at events. Most of the time they weren't really pets and more used as bodyguards which rather upset Jaskier but he wouldn't get into that. He wondered if they had those big sharp fangs… He was in his own mind when Damien walked away so he happily knelt down in front of the glass where there were slots so the babes could hear.

"Hello wonderful little witchers!"Jaskier said happily as he watched the one doing push ups fall onto his tummy and look up surprised. Lambert. That one was Lambert. The one reading the book just looked up and stared at Jaskier, Eskel. That was Eskel. And the one who curled further into himself under the thin looking white blanket must be Geralt.

The two who were staring at him stayed still until Jaskier spoke again and then they pulled themselves up and together so they were sitting up looking at the musician.

"Hello, I'm Jaskier! What're your lovely names?" Jaskier asked even though he already knew.

"Lambert." The one with the greasy hair answered first. He didn't really say he more or less growled it out. Jaskier nodded and pointed his focus onto the other. The poor thing had such a garish scar on his face. It probably pulled and got chapped. Jaskier needed to get him some lotion to help as soon as they were home…

"Eskel. That's Geralt. Why are you here?" He finally answered in much less growly way than the other. He seemed to be the most social of the three. At least the most civil. Jaskier smiled softly.

"I'm here to talk to you three. I'm looking for a couple of pets. You three are what? Brothers? Oh wait witchers so… brothers but not by blood, yes?" Jaskier asked. Witchers were usually brothers in arms, well back before the "Witcher Creation and Mutations"Act went in place and banned all Wicther facilities. Some are still around but those act mostly as museums, others collapsed because of attempts made to "save" the witchers inside and ended up crumbling the keeps on top of them. Like these three.

"Yessir. We would prefer to keep it that way, thank you." Eskel replied again. While the two of them exchanged those few words Lambert had started to move toward Geralt. He was whispering into the other's ear. Jaskier watched but also kept talking to Eskel.

"Well of course, darling! I would never take you away from each other. That would just be cruel. Thankfully I already planned on getting at least two pets and another deliciously handsome witcher would never hurt my feelings. Hm… You three are quite big though...." Jaskier thought out loud. He would need to buy bigger frying pans. Probably a bigger pot too… he wondered if these three like chicken and dumplings. He loved making chicken and dumplings.

"We're witchers. The only way to make us any smaller would be to have us bedridden. And we are known to bust straps and break chains." Eskel ended that statement in a serious and threatening tone which snapped Jaskier out of his daydream of cooking for them.

"Bedridden?! Gods no! I was thinking more like having to purchase a bigger frying pan and a bigger pot. I would never neglect you like that! That's horrible! If you choose to be under my care I would rather have you a bit plumper. You do look kinda think hm?" Jaskier said as he gazed at the way Eskel's skin gripped at his muscles. There needs to be a nice fatty layer between them.

"Oh… well why did you even want pets?" Eskel asked and glanced back at Lambert who was still talking a balled up Geralt. Eskel wanted to know every possible intention this man had for them. They would not be bodyguards again and were absolutely never becoming sex pets like the bunnies.

"Well I have a big house and I've just finished up a big tour so I'm going to be home for a long time and I don't go out all that much and well the house gets lonesome… Sure I want some quiet calm time so I can work but I'd love to have a few pets to fill the space. I've already got bedrooms and a big play space in the basement and I think I have quite a large backyard. Look you can even read it on the inspection papers! I love that you're so smart...." Jaskier explained while he pulled the document out of the folder in his backpack. He would answer as many questions as Eskel, or the others, wanted to ask him. Jaskier folded the papers in half and slid them through the slots in the glass.

Eskel took them and read through them. He read each one. As he read Jaskier looked around the little room. There were three mats on the floor with a blanket on two of them, Geralt had the third. There weren't toys or pillows around like the other kennels. There were what looked like sigils and signs scratched into the walls. In the farthest corner there was a jug of water and by the door there were food dishes. Jaskier hated it. It didn't look cozy or comfortable. If these three agreed to come with him he would have them plenty of toys and chewy things and blankets and mountains of pillows and have them eating out of proper bowls and drinking glasses. Everyone knows witchers can eat from plates with spoons and forks and can drink from cups.

Jaskier also watched Lambert talk quietly to the other witcher. Lambert was so cute. With his pointed ears and sleek looking black tail. He had a few scars running along the side of his face but that took nothing away from his adorableness. Eskel was cute too. With those big fluffy looking ears and thick strong looking fluffy tail. His large pointed canine teeth really just made him cuter to Jaskier. He hadn't seen Geralt who he assumed wouldn't be coming out anytime soon by the way he hid.

"Okay… this is actually quite detailed. So you're a singer? A musician? Why don't you just buy a pet instead of dragging us home?" Eskel asked as he bent and slid the document back through the slot. His hands were so big, so muscular, so scarred. Jaskier just wanted to spend hours kissing them better.

Jaskier thought for a moment before answering.

"Because I can't buy an older pet. I don't want babies. I want pets who can take care of themselves to an extent. I can't buy pets who are as beautiful or as magnificent as you three are. I did go and shop for something to fill the gap in my heart and fill the slots in my time but they were dumb. Dumb and small and only ever did what I said and didn't have a single thought of their own. You however… You're smart. Strong and beautiful. I bet you can keep a conversation easily and I bet you'd enjoy some alone time every once in a while. Maybe with some books? A trip to the library? Bought pets don't like those things or do those things. I'm not looking for bed decorations, I'm looking for companions." Jaskier finished. Eskel could tell he wasn't lying. Lambert had turned and listened, captured. Jaskier watched Eskel think. He glanced over at Lambert who stared and then leaned over and said something to Geralt.

Jaskier was surprised to hear a low purr emanating from the corner where the one witcher was curled up.

"Hm… I'm in. If the flowery man wants us to play around his house and eat his food then I'm all for it. Sounds like a good deal to me. It's not the circus and it's not body guarding or being fuck-dolls.That is, if it's not all lies." A deep wonderfully perfect snarl came from the blanketed pet. Geralt rose up then and Jaskier gasped at what he saw. Beautiful yellow eyes like the rest, stunning pale skin, big wolf like ears, and, finally when the blanket fully fell away, a big beautiful grey tail.

"Oh… well… I'm not lying! I could take pictures of my house or or I don't know… Ah how about a gift of good faith!" Jaskier said as his eyes darted from one witcher to the next. He pulled his backpack into his lap and rummaged around. He had a cup of mini Nutter Butters, some KitKats, and a box of almond Pocky sticks. Food is always a good gift.

All three of them looked at each other and crept closer to the window. Geralt had his nose up, scenting the air. When all three had gathered around the slots in the glass they all sat down. Jaskier smiled down at them before gracefully lowering himself down onto his knees. The witchers looked shocked for a moment before returning to their sniffing and analyzing the colorful man in front of them.

"What kind of gift?" Lambert says and sticks face closer to the glass to see what Jaskier has. Geralt squinches his eyes and glares at Jaskier. Eskel looks civil and practiced. His face was plain and unreadable.

"Well I don't exactly have the most perfect gifts but I have some candy and some snacks in my pack… DO witchers even like chocolate…" Jaskier said shyly. He could get them much better gifts later but he hopes this makes them trust him a bit more. All three of them perked up at the word ' chocolate '.

"You'd give us...chocolate?" Geralt said and looked confused but eager. Jaskier laughed and pulled open the wrappers for the KitKats. He assumed there weren't trash cans in the rooms.

"Would you three like some KitKats? They're some of my favs. They're crunchy and sweet and delicious." Jaskier asked as he held up the treat. He could hear them all start wagging and swishing their tails. Their pupils got just a tad larger and Lambert automatically nodded.

"Yes."

"Yes, please."

"Thank you"

Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt answered and Jaskier quickly slid the now broken up candies through. One for each of them and then one for himself. Jaskier popped half of his into his mouth and watched each witcher sniff and lick theirs before putting the entire thing into their mouths. Jaskier giggled a bit at the way their ears moved as they discovered what the treat was.

"Like em? I've got other stuff too." Jaskier said once each had swallowed. Eskel was smiling lightly and looked relaxed, Lambert was purring lightly and his tail was swishing lightly behind him. Geralt had wide eyes and was trying to see into Jaskier's bag. He was swishing his tail quickly and his ears faced forward.

"Can we have more? They never give us sugar." Geralt said and looked into Jaskier's eyes. Geralt thought Jaskier had pretty eyes. They looked dazzling and warm and kind and pretty. All three of them thought that same thing but Geralt was really captured by them.

"Oh you poor little things! You're far too thin. They don't feed you enough anyway do they? They give you regular portions you're all big boys, you need more." Jaskier said as he popped open the Pocky snacks and started to pass the Nutter Butters through the slots. He felt so bad for the poor thin things. He himself had a healthy amount of pudge cushioning around his midsection and he believed he needed to have these three in a similar shape.

The boys scarfed down the snacks and groaned at how sweet and good they tasted. Once there were no more snacks they all looked soft around the edges and happy. Jaskier smiled happily but noticed that quite a chunk of time had passed and Damien would be returning soon. Jaskier stood and wiped his hands on his jeans. He watched Lambert pout and Eskel and Geralt look down.

"I'm so sorry but I will be back tomorrow. I'll come see you and hopefully get a real answer. Remember all three of you are coming, I've got food and space and there might be a few containers of ice cream in the freezer. So please consider joining me. Goodbye sweet little witchers." Jaskier said as he zipped up his bag and slung it around his back.

All of them looked up at him and nodded.

"Thank you. I'm sure we all already made that decision. It'll be wonderful if you come by again. Thank you again, Jaskier." Eskel said and Lambert let out a little whine.

"Hurry up and come get us already. I want steaks." Lambert said and pouted. His ears almost fell flat against his head. Geralt hit him in the shoulder and Jaskier giggled.

"I'll stock up then. Oh and do you all mind if I put my last name on the certificates or do you just want your first names?" Jaskier asked and all three smiled and glowed. They felt like this was it. This was the first person and the right time.

"You haven't told us your full name yet, silly man." Geralt said and laughed a bit.

"Julain Alfred Pankratz. And I think that means you'll be the witchers of House Pankratz." Jaskier said and nodded and waved at Damien. All three nodded. Jaskier turned and stopped for a moment. He didn't want to leave yet. He never really wanted to leave these babies alone ever again. They were just so perfect.

Jaskier straightened up and walked through the door and didn't turn back. He didn't want the witchers to see his teary eyes. He took the sleeves of his colorful sweater and dabbed the tears away and walked to the front desk. There was a man at the front desk now. A rather large man.

"Hello, I was just um spending some time looking around and I need you to start the papers on those three witchers in the back. I believe the lady who was up here might have already started some general papers. Under the name Julian Alfred Pankratz or Jaskier." Jaskier said to the man who just answered with a grunt. He rummaged around the desk for a moment before finding a stack of papers.

"You sure you want them? They're aggressive. Not good pets, better guard animals." The man said as he started to type on the computer on the desk. Jaskier smiled even though he was mad.

"Yes sir. I am happy to take them off your hands. Do you need anything else? I'll be back tomorrow." Jaskier said and waited for an answer.

"No but just so you're aware, once you sign the adoption papers for them it'll take two to four business days for them to be approved and you can take them home." The man said and looked at Jaskier in a judgmental way.

"That'll be no problem, I'll visit them each day though. If that's alright?" The man nodded and Jaskier was off. This was the beginning of what would be the best change in Jaskier's life.