Don't be afraid

The slender figure sat on a heated balcony, knees on chest, watching the sky slowly turn from deep blue to inky black.

Natsuo couldn't escape the nightmares that haunted him. His body was slowly recovering from the stress of the last month, but the memories and anxiety lingered on, eating away at his mind and spirit. With a sigh, he buried his face in his arms, wishing he could forget about it all.

He was startled when the door creaked open. A pair of bare feet walked into the same space, leaving a soft padding sound behind them.

Natsuo raised his chin to see Jiro sit on the sunbed next to him, watching him silently for a few moments before finally speaking.

"I can give you weed if you need to calm down, but perhaps that's not the right option."

He was wearing a gray sweater and shorts, with the hood pulled up over his head. His brown eyes were hidden under the fabric, but his lips were set in a line as he looked out at the starry horizon.

"No thanks," Natsuo muttered, shivering even though the glass-protected balcony kept the night chill away.

Jiro undressed his sweatshirt and placed it around the other man's back, gently brushing his shoulder blades. He observed how his housemate snuggled into the clothing, trying to stay warm.

"Nightmares again?"

Natsuo nodded quietly, staring at the tiled floor without moving his gaze.

"Come, let's try something," Jiro suggested and offered his hand to help his friend stand up.

The young man's blue eyes blinked questioningly, but he grabbed the tattooed arm and followed him back inside.

Natsuo's cheeks burned as the older man opened the door to his bedroom, revealing the king-sized bed covered in thick blankets and pillows. He watched his flatmate lay on the mattress while gesturing for his roommate to join him.

"Maybe you don't feel safe alone, so you have trouble sleeping. If you want, we can share a bed."

The brunet's face turned red as the man offered something like that. Natsuo wanted to say no, to be independent, and show that he could handle his own nightmares. Still, somewhere deep within him, he longed to feel secure and safe - especially with Jiro.

He nodded silently and crawled onto the bed with a gulp. The yakuza tucked him under the covers, pulling them up to his neck before lying down beside him.

"Don't be afraid. I'm just here if you need me," he said, almost whispering.

Natsuo felt a twinge of embarrassment as he recalled the last time they had slept together like that - both had turned their backs on one another to maintain their privacy and separate spaces. But now, things had changed - the other male next to him no longer seemed as intimidating as before.

"Would you like to sleep or just chat?"

Natsuo let out a shaky breath before replying.

"Uh... we can talk."

"So, what was school like after I left?" Jiro asked, bringing up their past in an unexpectedly soft tone.

"You left?"

"Didn't you notice I was missing?" the white-haired asked with a frown.

"I was sent to boarding school," Natsuo admitted.

His eyes widened as he listened to his friend's revelation.

"I ran away after graduating, because I refused to return home to my parents. They, uh... beat me and didn't seem that interested in me... so..."

"Really? How awful," Jiro replied with a sigh.

Natsuo glanced over at the other one, trying to gauge his reaction, but also wanting to change the topic - binging up the two people who abandoned him wasn't his favorite conversation starter.

"So, where did you go?"

"I was forced to live with my... relative," Jiro answered, a sad expression surfacing on his face.

"You didn't like it there?" Natsuo asked.

"No, it was the most horrible time of my life."

The brunet's thoughts raced as he tried to think of anything comforting to say, even when it wasn't one of his best qualities.

"I'm sorry... do you want to... talk about it?"

"Maybe later."

The two were quiet for a few moments, their soft breaths the only sound in the room.

"You know, do you mind if - " he was about to ask, but noticed Natsuo's closed eyes, causing him to pause. His brown hair was messy, falling across his forehead and brushing against his cheeks. His eyelashes were long and somewhat fluttery, casting thin and tiny shadows on his pale skin.

A slight smile crept onto Jiro's lips without him even knowing it. He shifted his pillow a bit closer to the other person, being careful not to disturb his much-needed slumber. After closing his eyes, he drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a future where they both could find their own place in the world, with no past to hold them back - and even alongside each other.

(The next day)

Natsuo opened his eyes, feeling the sun's rays touching his face. For him, the morning was a refreshing one - not anxious from lack of sleep or feeling troubled by nightmares, but rather relaxed and energized.

He arose as he lifted the blanket, noticing that his back was less tense than usual. His ears picked up the faint clinking of dishes and oil sizzle coming from the kitchen, so he went to see what his roommate was doing.

Jiro stood by the stove, a spatula in one hand and a bowl of scrambled eggs in the other. His hair was slightly unkempt after the night, but he looked handsome with the sun shining on his features. He wore only shorts, showing off his toned chest and arms.

Natsuo blushed as his eyes roamed over the opposing male's body. He watched as Jiro prepared an omelet and stirred the eggs while adding a dash of soy sauce to the mix.

"Good morning. Did you sleep any better?" the man inquired as he poured the ingredients into the pan.

"Yes, I did. Uh... is there anything I can help you with?" Natsuo asked, stepping closer to the kitchen counter.

"No, I got this. You can make coffee, if you want."

The brunet nodded and went to pick out a dark roast from the wide selection of beans.

"How about watching movies today? Is there a genre you like?"

"Well, my adoptive father didn't allow me to watch television that much," Natsuo said as he measured the precise amount of water required.

"Ah, I thought you might be adopted. Where are you from? Do you know that?"

Natsuo squinted at Jiro as he grinded the beans, causing him to stutter and scratch his head a bit nervously.

"I mean, you look... your eyes are blue and you certainly don't look..."

"I am half-Russian, but I'm not sure what the other half is," Natsuo confessed as he loaded the machine and turned it on.

"But honestly, brown eyes would be better than these," he added in a quiet voice.

He understood very well himself that he didn't look traditional with his Eastern European features - one of his other insecurities when he was a child, when he needed to fit in with his peers. But even as a young adult, he sometimes felt that because of his looks, he wasn't taken as much into consideration as someone with full Japanese features.

Jiro abruptly stopped cooking and walked over to him, closely studying his irises as if he wanted to learn more about him than just his physical appearance. Natsuo blinked, feeling his cheeks heat up as the man stared at him so intently.

"Your eyes are the color of the summer sky just before the sunset. I think they are beautiful," the man commented, his gaze still fixed on the other.

Natsuo was stunned by the unexpected compliment. It was the first time he had been told anything like that, so he smiled shyly and turned his attention away.

"But how can you be partially Russian if you can't handle alcohol at all?" Jiro asked smirking, shifting his attention back to the food.

"That is a stereotype," Natsuo snorted, but still frowned amusedly.

"I know, I'm sorry. But what if I showed you a good movie? Or we can look through them and pick one you like," the tattooed man added as he cooked, sprinkling a few spices into the pan for flavor.

Suddenly, a warm, tingly feeling blossomed in Natsuo's chest, spreading throughout his body. He felt like he was coming home after a long and difficult journey, one he was happy to be done with.