Timmy the Bear

"Oh no. No no no." Is all Ziva heard before she opened the door to an empty bathroom.

"DiNozzo, what's wrong?" The woman asked as she turned and looked for the senior agent. She heard some shuffling and she ducked to look under the stalls. She saw one foot struggling to not slip off the edge of the toilet and onto the floor. She heard a sniffle and then a swallow.

"Tony?" She said and stood in front of the stall and knocked.

"Z-Ziva... go away. Go away." Tony said and cleared his throat. His voice sounded lower, like it was forced. Ziva's eyebrows scrunched together.

"Tony, are you alright? Abby found a fingerprint. Why have you been in here for so long?" Ziva said and looked in the cracks of the door. She saw Tony wiping at his face and looked scattered.

"I'm fine! Go away! I don't need help, go away!" Tony said before looking up and locking eyes with Ziva. He turned forty shades of red. Tony almost let out a whine but he flipped the lock open on the door.

"Tony what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Ziva asked as she pushed open the door. She could tell something was wrong but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Nothing... I'm fine." Tony said and stood up and fixed his shirt and trousers. He pushed Ziva out of the way and washed his hands. Ziva watched him closely for a moment. But when Tony turned the water on without pulling up his sleeves Ziva knew that there was an issue.

Tony threw his hands up in the air and let out a whine. He looked so upset.

"I can't do anything right! I give up!" Tony said and tears started to flow again. He sunk down onto the floor, head in his hands. Ziva walked over and crouched down in front of him.

"What's got you so upset? Is this- is this a classification thing? Do you need something? I'm calling Gibbs and taking you home. You cannot work like this DiNozzo." Ziva said and pulled out her phone. Tony didn't even argue. He had been fighting headspace all day and he was so tired and he just wanted to go home and sleep with his bear.

"'Kay..." was all Tony said as he pulled his knees to his chin and cried. He was uncomfortable and hot and his sleeves were wet and he was tired and life was just against him today. He had paid days off for this kind of thing, for the days he struggles to stay afloat.

He heard Ziva speaking distantly but didn't pay attention. He just sat on the icky bathroom floor and cried, drowning in his own self pity.

"Tony? McGee is coming to help get you to my car." Ziva said and rubbed at the top of Tony's back. Tony nodded but then froze McGee

"No! No, keep McGee away! I can... I can make it to a car by myself! I don't need Tim. I don't want him!" Tony said quickly as he stood, wobbling. Ziva stood and grabbed a hold onto his elbow.

"Why? Tony, why don't you want Timothy's help? He won't judge you, we know you are just having an off day. Tim's your friend, let him help." Ziva asked and looked very confused. Tony and McGee always joke around with each other. Why was Tony being so... off?

"Don't wan 'im to see me! No no no!" Tony said and pulled his arms around himself. Ziva shushed him and nodded.

"Okay, okay. Well if you think you can walk past everyone and make it through the parking lot to my car then you are free to do so. I'll call McGee and tell him you don't want him. One moment." Ziva said and pulled out her phone. Tony stomped his feet out of frustration.

"Noooo I like McGee but I don wan 'im see me all... ugly faced." Tony said and looked at himself in the mirror. His face was all splotchy and snotty and icky from crying. He felt ugly.

Tony always had that problem. Thinking people seen him as ugly or undesirable since few people actually liked him and not just wanted to fuck him.

Ziva sighed. Tony's anxiety. Of course it worsened when he was regressed.

"I'm almost there, Ziva. One sec." came through the phone before the ex-Mossad agent could say anything else. She looked back at Tony who had his arms wrapped around himself swaying.

"Tony, McGee is alright here so just let him help you and let's get you to the car. Come on." Ziva said and tried to usher the man to the door. However Tony wasn't budging toward the door.

"No! No! No Timmy, no no no!" Tony said in a panic and tried to get back to the corner stall where he had first been hiding. Ziva followed him and blocked the door so it wouldn't close but Tony was able to curl up on the toilet so nothing could've been seen.

"Tony, you are acting out! Timothy is only trying to help you. I do not see a reason you're not letting him help y-" Ziva was saying in a fussing tone. She was cut short by the door being flung open.

"Ziva? Where's Tony? What's going on... Tony, what're you doing?" McGee rushed into the bathroom. All Ziva had said was "somethings wrong with Tony. Come to the bathroom, now". Tim didn't know what to expect. Well he definitely didn't expect to see the senior agent crying curled up on the toilet lid.

Tony buried his face into his hands and tried to squeeze himself into a ball. Ziva just gestured toward the regressor.

"He said he liked you but he didn't want you to see him but I can not handle him. He's too big and too far gone for me to get him to my vehicle. Gibbs already gave us an okay for the day." Ziva said and Tim watched the other man cry.

"Tony? Anthony, are you alright? Do you need to go home to bed? You know me and Ziva can take care of you. Why don't you just let me carry you out to the car? Would that be alright? I'll take the back way so no one can see. Tony, are you already under?" Timothy said in a soft, kind voice. It stroked something in Tony. It always did when he spoke like that. So caring and soft. Caregiver voice. Daddy voice.

Tony whined and wiggled a bit. He slipped just further. Almost to his deepest regression. Almost to the point of him needing a bottle. Almost to the point of him having... those urges. He barely even heard when Ziva snapped at an agent for entering the restroom.

"Tony, please. Just let me drive you home. I just need to know you got there safe. On the way maybe you could tell me what got you so upset?" Tim asked. He was really concerned. Tony never acted like this. When he was having a day where he kept slipping he usually would just have Gibbs drive him home. Tony never has had an... outburst, like this before.

"nonononono da-um Timmy can't see my house. Nonono. Ziva cam see house. I wanna go home!" Tony whined. He felt too much. Too much bad. He liked the younger agent, liked him a whole lot. He knew it was okay to like caregivers that were younger but still... The urge to call him daddy and depend on him made Tony feel... gross. Wrong. Everything felt wrong right then. Tony felt like his world was crumbling around him and all he wanted was his bear.

Tony bought the bear himself. He told the cashier that it was for his nephew but no. It was a nice big brown teddy bear made from a soft polar fleece. He wanted a small lowkey toy but... it just made him feel big and awkward. Seeing the small toys in his big hands wretched him from littlespace. Plus when he saw the bear he couldn't leave it alone.

Now the bear sits on his bed and gets cuddled every night when he's home. At first he didn't have a name for it until he kinda fell for the probbie officer. So he's Timmy the Bear. And he's the only source of comfort in Tony's crazy life. Timmy the bear is a constant.

The caregiver tried to convince Ziva to just let Tony cool down before taking him home but Ziva refused. Tony needed a safe environment. A safe clean environment is what she said after McGee suggested just locking the bathroom door.

"He's scared, McGee. Massad took all my instincts away. You comfort him. You're the one he likes. Has for the entire time I've been here. Just hold him, or something." Ziva said frustrated and shoved McGee into the bathroom stall.

Timothy sank to his knees in front of the regressed agent. He pulled Tony's ankles till his legs were down. He placed his hands on Tony's knees.

"Tony... are you scared of me seeing your house?" Tim asked quietly in the gentle loving tone. Tony whimpered and looked up from under his eyelashes. He shook his head after a moment.

"Okay... are you uncomfortable with me coming to your house?" Tony shook his head again and looked away.

"Alright, good job, are you uncomfortable with me touching you?" Tony waited a moment before turning a bright red and shook his head, he never looked at McGee.

"Can you tell me why you don't want me to help you home?" Tony whined and wiggled. He flipped his toes over each other and sniffled.

"don' wanna slip and say somefing bad." Tony mumbled into his hand that held his face. He just flashed his eyes up. Tim nodded.

"Can you tell Ziva what you don't want to say? Then maybe you won't say it if you slip." McGee suggested. He was hatching a plan. Tony nodded and looked up.

Ziva stepped up and Tim went and stood by the door. He would be able to hear what Tony says.

Ziva bent down so her ear was close to Tony's face. Tony scooted forward and whispered rather loudly.

"I don 'anna um call Timmy Daddy on accident. I fink if I slip I'll do it... don't wan him think 'm gross cause 'm older den him." Tony said and started to tear up again. He sniffled and rubbed his face with his sleeves.

"That's not gross Tony, lots of people have relationships where the Caregiver is younger. Why don't you just let McGee take you home and if you slip he can help you. Okay?" Ziva said and looked over at McGee. Tony sniffled again and whimpered.

"You sure he won kick me out on woad? Cam't walk home." Tony said and Timothy's heart hurt. Poor baby. Ziva shook her head.

"Timothy would never. Just let us get you home. Come now. Up." Ziva said and Tim made his way over.

Tony was pliant enough. He let McGee hold his hand and guide him out to the back walkways. He let McGee hold his hand the whole time they walked to Ziva's car.

While Tim sat in the back with Tony he let the little rest his head on his shoulder. Tony almost fell asleep. Today had been so stressful! Tony was almost asleep by the time they came up to his apartment. The car had rocked him gently into his full headspace.

"Tony, I'm going to pick you up. You can sleep as long as you need. I'll stay until you wake up." Tim whispered as he pulled the barley awake agent up into his arms. Tim lifted him up like a princess or a bride. Tony tucked his arms in and nuzzled into Tim's shirt.

' Smells nice so warm so nice so gentle mine he's mine now he takes care of me daddy daddy dada daddy ' floated around Tony's sleep muddled little brain. Tony hummed and smiled. He was too far gone to even register that his pockets were being ransacked by Ziva or that he was being laid down.

He did let out a loud whine when he was pulled away from daddy though, when he was pulled away from Tim.

He opened his eyes to look around but he just saw Tim smiling down at him. Tim and Ziva worked to quickly get him out of his shoes and jacket and slacks and button up. Soon he was left in his undershirt and his cute blue briefs that had little flowers on them. He never wore anything that outwardly showed off his classification but he did enjoy his cute little underwears.

"Look at him. He's so... cute. Strangely cute. Like a baby bear. I'll scavenge for some clothes, you keep him company." Ziva said as she put the clothes Tony had on into a basket that had other clothes in it.

Tim nodded and looked down at the tan man on the bed. He did kind of feel the need to hold him. And wrap him up in a blanket and rock him and watch him fall asleep and kiss his head and tickle his tummy and watch him laugh.

"Hi" Tim said and moved so he could stroke through Tony's hair. Tony smiled and rubbed his head up against the warm hand that moved to hold his jaw and rub across his cheekbone.

"Daddy!" Tony said and reached up and grabbed Timothy's jacket collar. Even feeling so small he was still very strong. McGee could barely stop himself from being pulled onto the little. He ended up leaned over the little with one knee on the bed and his other foot on the floor, caging Tony in with his arms. His hands splayed out near the sides of his head.

Tim smiled at the name. He didn't expect Tony to just say it. Then again Tony was fully regressed...

"Woah, Tony! Be careful. I'm heavy. Do you want me to hold you or something?" Tim promoted. He needed Anthony to say it. Tony smiled and hugged him around the shoulders. DiNozzo shoved his face into Tim's neck.

"I ant nap. An my bear! Where bear go? Hims not on my beb?" Tony said and started to look frantic as he whipped around to look for his bear. Timmy bear always sat on his bed! McGee sat up on his knee and looked around. Ziva had tossed the bear off the bed by accident. Tim grabbed it and held it up.

"This bear?" Is all he said and Tony grabbed the big soft toy and snuggled it close to his face.

"Timmy Bear!" Tony called out when he brought his legs up to cage in the toy. It was big enough to cover his entire torso.

Tim blushed. What had Tony just called this bear?

"Uh Tony, what's your bear's name?" Timothy asked and moved so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Tony smiled and rubbed his hands up and down the bear's stomach.

"His name Timmy Bear after you cause I gets to sleep wif Timmy Bear but not you so hims makes up for it." Tony said and smiled. Tony then breathed deeply and yawned.

Tim didn't respond for a moment. Tony had actually went and bought a bear just to name it after him to cuddle it? That's… that's such a little thing to do. That's something a little would do.

It then finally really dawned on Timothy that Anthony DiNozzo was in fact a little. A regressor. And that not only was Tony a little but had affixed himself to Tim so much to go out and buy what seemed like the only stuffed animal he had.

"Can I get ma blankies? 'M awful cold." Snapped Tim out of his. Tony shivered a bit. The younger man pulled back and noticed that the blankets Tony was laying didn't look too… Well like something a little would want to snuggle up with.

"Do you have any other blankets? Softer ones maybe?" Tim asked and Tony yawned again and pointed toward a box that was sitting hidden by his desk. Tim nodded and walked over to it.

The box was actually just a cheap plastic bin that was about two and a half feet tall, a foot wide, and a foot and a half deep. It was pretty well hidden between the wooden desk and the wall. Tim popped open the lid, he sighed. Of course Tony hid everything like this.

The probational officer pulled out the two soft black blankets, the brown teddy bear hoodie, but left the small box that sat in the bottom which seemed to hold more… babyish supplies.

Tim brought down the three items back to the bed where Tony was still laying sleepily holding his bear. Ziva walked back holding a pair of sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt.

"I think this is the visitor bedroom. All his clothes are in the other room and it is much more… DiNozzo-ed. Do you think he would like it better there?" Ziva said as she looked at Tony but spoke to McGee. Tony frowned.

"I 'anna sleep here wif daddy. 'M too tired. Don't 'anna be big boy." Tony grumbled and whined. He looked up at Timothy.

"Well Ziva I think I can manage. You can go back to the office. I'll probably come in tonight and do paperwork. Tony seems… like he just needs me. Not that you didn't help! You helped a lot!" Tim said and tried not to smile as he looked down at the regressed man. It sparked something in his chest to be wanted.

"Okay. He obviously only cares about you anyway." Ziva said and marched back to her car.

Tim sighed and looked at the clothes. Just the hoodie and sweatpants would probably be okay. He took off his shoes and slipped off his jacket. He sat down next to Tony's chest and grabbed the hoodie.

"Tony, sit up so I can get this over you. Move your bear." Tim said and patted Tony's shoulder. Tony whined and sat up.

"No you lays down too. You need to just pull the blankies up." Tony explained and pointed to the blankets that were left at the end of the bed. Tim laughed a bit.

"Tony, you have to put clothes on and then you can go to sleep. You can put on your hoodie and then you can have the blankies. Now come on pants too." Tim explained as he slipped the hoodie over Tony's strong chest. Tony whined and pouted and looked up at Tim through his eyelashes.

"Fine" is all Tim said before he sat down over Tony's feet. He grabbed the little's ankles and made it so his knees were bent and his feet were flat on the bed. Tim grabbed the pants and scrunched them up. He slipped each of Tony's feet through the rings of elastic.

He then pulled Tony's legs straight and flat and pulled the pants up until they were to his tan thighs. Tony smiled and looked up at him. Tim then realized that he was leaning over the senior agent in a rather intimate way. Tim blushed and continued.

He stood on his knees and grabbed both of Tony's knees and pulled them up to sit on his shoulder so he could slip the pants up over his butt. Tim got the elastic waistband to sit at Tony's hips and let his legs back down.

Tony giggled and pulled his bear back to his chest. Tim just shook his head and pulled the blankets up.

Tim turned to go sit in the bedroom until Anthony woke up again but he was stopped by a sniffle and whine. When he turned Tony was crying and squeezing the bear close to his chest.

"Tony? What's wrong? Too hot?" Tim asked as he looked around. The curtains blacked out the sunlight and the room wasn't too too warm. Tony sniffled again and shoved his face into the bear and murmured something. Tim walked closer to him.

"What?" He said in a light gentle tone. Tony looked at him again and stuttered as he spoke.

"I knew daddy didn't love me back. They always leave. Always." Tony started to get choked up and cried harder. Tim's heart broke for him. ' They always leave' there had been others. Tony had other people leave him. Tim wasn't leaving. Nope. Couldn't.

"I'm not leaving. I'm not. Here let me, let me in." Tim said and scooted his way so he was laying beside Tony who smiled. Tony climbed onto him so the little's head was on Tim's chest and his chest was resting against Tim's stomach and Tony could wrap his arms around Tim.

The younger man stroked through Tony's hair.

"Daddy loves me back! Now can… Will dada hold me to sleep?" Tony said and looked up nervously at Tim. Tim smiled and pulled Tony so their legs were twisted together and they were chest to chest and Tony's head was over Tim's shoulder.

"Is that okay? Are you okay to sleep now?" Tim whispered and pulled the blanket up to the little's shoulders. Tony hummed and melted into Tim. Soon enough he was snoring and breathing deeply.

Tim didn't mind. He didn't mind when Tony woke up and gruffly asked for oatmeal and some ' fucking ibuprofen' . He didn't mind Tony awkwardly thanking him. And he didn't mind Tony emailing him much later if he was okay with maybe sometime helping him again sometime.