Upheaval

As the weeks progressed through summer Harold was allowed to visit us regularly and began to recall things from the previous year when he lived with us. We had moved to a larger home by this point and never had any issues with his attitude or behavior problems. It became a common place for Libby to call and ask us to take him for the weekend. She claimed he was being overactive and too cooped up in their apartment. We thought nothing of this at the time and agreed to take him whenever she needed. It was a couple of months before I started to notice that bruises started to show up, when I asked how this happened, he said it was because Betty's son kept hitting him. This came to a head on the fourth of July when I watch not only Justin, but Steve as well tripping and pushing Harold. Then they laughed about it! Teasing him for falling and if he tried to retaliate, they would lecture Harold about not being able to take joke. Though it was clear to everyone else Harold was not part of the joke, but the BRUNT of this abuse. I confronted Libby about this telling her it was unacceptable. I was told this was normal and not a big deal. Still things mellowed out for about an hour until I saw Justin ball up his fist and deck Harold. Harold hit him back and I pulled the boys apart. I told Justin to keep his hands to himself, I was harsh and told him what would happen to him if he was an adult. Betty saw this and demanded I get away from her son. I told her to keep him on a leash or she could be in the cell next to his. Admittedly I may have over reacted but what kind of mother lets her child beat up another? Least of all letting her child beat up what could be her nephew. The gathering was moved down to the river to a more public venue in an attempt to prevent escalation. I sat away from the rest of the group, Harold did come and sit with me, then after we watched the fireworks Libby took him home without so much as a goodbye. We didn't hear from Libby the rest of the summer. It was clear she thought to punish me for speaking out against Steve, his family, and their abuse of Harold. Still as the season ended she did let us know that school was coming up and that she wouldn't be able to get any school supplies for Harold. At that time, she also informed us that she would be moving to go live with Steve and his family in the next town over. Harold begged her at that time not to take him because he didn't want to go live with Steve. He told her he wanted to live with me. He tried to tell her that he didn't like Steve or his family, her response to this was to accuse Harold of not loving her. She didn't acknowledge his feelings or what he said. Rather she asked him why he hated her, if he was trying to kill her and why he didn't want to talk her about this sooner. I explained to her that she needed to hear him out and not guilt him for how he felt. That she needed to look at things from his perspective, and that he was trying to let her know there was a problem. He told her that he didn't like Justin and how Justin was always trying to beat him up. He told her that Steve would often give Justin tips, or join in. He told her that he didn't want to live with Steve, Justin, or their family. He felt the Reed family hated him and wanted nothing to do with him, so he wasn't comfortable being around them. He used examples of times he'd spent with them, what they'd done to make him feel unwelcome, unwanted, and down right unloved. Libby said nothing to discredit this, only that they were "joking" or it was their "way". She asked him to give it a chance and promised to let him live with me if he didn't like the Reed household. At the age of 8, Harold agreed to go live with the Reed family under the guilt his mother put on him. I sent him to play and kept Libby back to talk to her. I explained that she needed to hear him out, if he wasn't happy with something, she needed to find out why. She assured me that all the other times she'd had Steve around Harold seemed happy. I was surprised I had to explain to her that if she spent no alone time with Harold it was not unexpected that she would have no clue as to how he truly felt. Furthermore I explained to her that in an effort to keep her happy Harold would lie about his true feelings so she needed to make damn sure she listened. I tried to explain that she needed to spend time away from Steve and just let Harold feel comfortable with her relationship as he was no doubt still in shock that "Mommy and Daddy" were not together any longer. I didn't believe bringing in a new man so soon was a good idea, especially considering neither of them had received any type of therapy. Which I encouraged Libby to do since she claimed she left my brother due to domestic violence. Something that never happened while they lived with me. If anything, Mark was too quiet and too obedient to every wish and whim that Libby had. That, of course, was a problem in it's own right. Instead she went from April being married living with in-laws, by June she was couch surfing, by July they were in a shelter, in the apartment by August, and the deviorce was finalized around March or April. By May she was with Steve, and by that August she was moving with him and his family. Yet she thought this was enough time to allow Harold to adjust!

At this point I feel it's important to let you know that I'm giving you all this back ground so you can see what he came from. How he grew up, and the warning signs that have already surfaced in his behavior. Some of which I didn't notice until I started writing this, some of which I did notice at the time and warned Libby.

The move to the Reed family property was prompted by Mildred, Steve and Betty being evicted. I do not know if Libby was also evicted but she did plan to move with them. She was on public assistance, and receiving benefits from the VA. This would be a good time to explain that Libby went through basic training shortly after 9-11 but was ELS discharged. However, given the time she went through basic and when her mental break down was it entitled her to benefits.

After they moved, we didn't get to Harold for the rest of that summer, nor did we get to see him for the first part of the school year. We did keep reaching out to Libby asking how she and Harold were, if there was anything they needed or that we could do. Most of the time this was met with the simple response of them being happy, busy, and didn't need anything. Libby brought him by before Halloween and also brought Steve with her, who was again drunk. I was putting up decorations and he suggested that I hang a faux body from the tree, I told him a real one would look better. He responded by saying he agreed. I smiled and told him I appreciated him volunteering but I didn't want the birds to get sick since he was self-fermenting already. I went back inside, Steve did not find the humor in my joke. He accused me of being disrespectful to him, which I pointed out was a bit like the pot calling the kettle black as he came to my home not only drunk but still drinking a 40 when it's well known I despise drinking and alcoholics.

About a week later I was contacted by Child Services Division (CSD) to find out if we would be willing to take Harold as they had concerns about his living conditions. I assured them we would be willing to take him and even let them come and inspect our house. They found it very acceptable, and said they'd contact me when they were done with their inspection of Libby's living conditions. Later they contacted me to tell me that Libby was claiming to have mobile home she would be moving into within the next few days. They would keep me apprised of the investigation. Shortly after that Libby and Steve moved herself Harold and the daughter they now had out of state. This was only a 30 min drive, but it was enough to prevent our state from being able to do anything more and the first case was closed.