Headaches please leave me

Patient: Hi, Doc. I've been experiencing these terrible headaches lately. Can you help me out?

Dr. GibeHug: Well, well, well, what do we have here? Another victim of the dreaded "Headacheitis," I presume? Don't worry, I've got just the remedy for you — a daily dose of your favorite fast food!

Patient: Uh, really? I don't think that'll help.

Dr. GibeHug: Oh, come on now. Who needs medical research when we have the golden arches of McDonald's? But seriously, let's look into the matter.

Patient: Thanks, Doc. I appreciate it. These headaches are really starting to affect my day.

Dr. GibeHug: Oh, they're affecting your day? Wait till you experience the next level of headaches - ones that can give you a full-on disco experience right in your brain! So, tell me, have you been practicing any bizarre headstands or yoga positions lately?

Patient: No, Doc, nothing like that. I lead a pretty sedentary lifestyle, though.

Dr. GibeHug: Ah, yes, the infamous "Lazyitus." It's a rare condition, but be grateful, my friend. With all the hustle and bustle in the world, you're just taking the much-needed time for your brain to relax in peaceful stillness. But let's do some tests, shall we?

Patient: Sure thing, Doc. I'm ready.

Dr. GibeHug: Alright, let's start with the classic reflex test. Just a gentle tap to the knee, and voila! We'll see if you're built to be a knee-jerk reactor or perhaps something more sophisticated.

Patient: *laughs* I've heard about that one.

Dr. GibeHug: Excellent, my dear patient! I'm thrilled to know my reputation precedes me. Now, brace yourself for a display of pure medical genius.

Patient: I feel honored, Doctor.

Dr. GibeHug: As you should! Now, on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain, with one being as dull as the latest fashion trend and ten being as sharp as a tack?

Patient: I'd say, hmm, a solid seven.

Dr. GibeHug: A seven, you say? Perfect! We shall perform the ancient ritual of drawing a notch on my world-famous Headache Scale. Excuse me while I fetch my quill and parchment.

Patient: I can't wait to see this legendary scale.

Dr. GibeHug: Ta-da! Feast your eyes on the grandeur of a scale that will make your average weight scale flee in envy. Now, where shall we place this seven? Just between "Please make it stop" and "I swear there's a tiny headbanging rock band in there"?

Patient: *chuckles* I'll go with the headbanging rock band option.

Dr. GibeHug: Ah, an excellent choice, my brave patient! Alright, after some thorough analysis and an extensive game of rock-paper-scissors between my medical team, I've come to a conclusion.

Patient: And that would be?

Dr. GibeHug: Your headaches are a classic case of "Slightly Annoying Headache Syndrome" or SAHS, for short. But fear not! With a strict regimen of water consumption, regular breaks from electronics, and a pair of socks worn exclusively on your ears, you shall conquer SAHS like a true warrior.

Patient: *laughs uncontrollably* You're something else, Doc!

Dr. GibeHug: I like to think of myself as a medical Marvel superhero, fighting diseases one sarcastic remark at a time. Now, off you go on your quest to defeat SAHS!