Delusional

Naruto's body trembled as he stood glued in front of his small apartment. The boy could feel a new found energy flowing like electricity through his body, but the new feeling still hadn't managed to overpower the terror that had consumed the boy long ago. Just the thought that a foreign person was hiding in such a familiar space made Naruto's skin crawl. His sweaty palms gripped the kunai, squeezing it tight. He felt his senses heighten as he lunged forward entering the run-down apartment completely prepared to defend his useless life.

Naruto's eyes darted everywhere, searching for anything that had changed, searching for a sign that he wasn't completely losing his mind. His heart, thrumming like a drum; if this keeps up he's sure it'll rip from his chest. Every corner he turned he could feel years of his life being stripped away. He walked into his bedroom, nothing. He walked into his closet, nothing. He walked into his bathroom, nothing. Nothing had changed. No one was there.

Did Naruto really just leave the door open?

"God.." Naruto loosened his grip on the kunai bringing his hands to his head. "I'm so stupid." He stated, closing his eyes. The terrified blonde slumped over, laying his head on the old sink.

"I'm going crazy aren't I." He choked on a sad laugh. His breathing, still ragged. He tried to control it, but the feeling of terror hadn't left just yet. Had he really just forgotten to close the door? The more he thought about it, the more plausible it sounded. Naruto didn't actually remember shutting the door before he set off. With some form of relief, he was able to calm himself down. Letting the adrenaline flow out of him.

But still, something felt off. The way the air moved. The metallic scent that coated itself in the apartment. The burning sensation Naruto felt in the back of his head. He felt eyes on him. Eyes that burned holes into skulls. The hairs on the back of his neck shot up as his eyes flew open.

Oh. God. No.

There was blood. Everywhere .

On his face, on his hands, on his arms, on the floor, on the walls, on the broken mirror, on the sink. No.

No.No.No.No.No.No.No.

He spun around, a pair of dull eyes glared right back at the boy. A hysterical scream broke free from Naruto as his body shook in complete horror. A body laid in the corner of his bathtub. The neck had been contorted, as if an animal had twisted its head around at least four times. The mouth was carved out, leaving a gaping hole on their unrecognizable face. Guts and intestines were falling out of where the legs should've been.

He stumbled backwards in utter disgust, falling to the floor. Immediately after he came in contact with the cold tiles he could feel a foreign thing underneath him. Tears welled up in his eyes.

God, he didn't want to look.

Sure enough, the missing legs were found.

Naruto's hand flew to his mouth as a loud sob burst from his throat, his vision clouded by hot tears. He felt light-headed as he shot up from the bloody floor. He swayed on his feet, but was determined to get out of the bathroom. He pushed down the bile rising from his stomach, and staggered out of the bathroom, ripping off his blood soaked jacket and pants. He could feel his head splitting into two as his body racked violently with gasps. No matter how much air he breathed in, his lungs kept screaming for oxygen.

"Calm yourself."

The same voice as before stated loud and clear in his right ear. Naruto couldn't respond or breathe as manic sobs were in complete control of his body. He collapsed, as his legs no longer had the strength to keep him upright. He gripped his head bringing his knees to his chest.

"T-this isn't r-real" Naruto shakily repeated to himself. He shut his eyes tight, rocking himself back and forth muttering the same line over and over, until he had fully convinced himself it was true.

"Open your eyes Naruto."

Naruto no longer had the willingness to fight against the unknown voice. The blonde steeled himself, preparing himself with reality. Slowly, he opened his eyes.

Nothing was there. There was no blood. There was no dead body. Everything was exactly the same. Not the slightest thing had changed since before he left the space.

Naruto was truly losing himself and he didn't know how to stop it.

…

The sun shined brilliantly as the new day dawned. White fluffy clouds drifted across the clear blue sky. Birds chirped happily, thrilled to begin another day. Children ran down the streets of Konaha giggling and laughing so full of energy and joy.

The wind blew lightly, as team 7 waited patiently for their sensei to make an appearance. Naruto had been filling the morning air with consistent bantering, which was strange, even for him. Sakura and Sasuke were both well aware of how much he loves to talk, but today, he seemed almost..desperate. Desperate to fill the insufferable silence with some sort of conversation.

"-and then I totally took it cause I didn't know what else to do with it." Naruto laughed, continuing to blab on. To Sasuke, it looked like Naruto was just simply afraid to stand in silence. Like he was afraid to stop laughing and smiling.

Sasuke exhaled deeply. Naruto's endless banter and laughter was seriously pissing him and Sakura off.

"Time to get the day started." Kakashi clapped, sneaking up on the genin.

"Kakashi sensei, what took you so long!" Naruto questioned, looking annoyed. Before responding Kakashi took a second to get a good look at his student. If not for Naruto's positive attitude and loud personality, you could get away with assuming he was a hospital patient who had escaped. To put it simply, he looked terrible. His hair was unkempt, his face was sunken in, his eye bags were deep and dark, and an unnatural pale replaced his once so tan and vibrant skin. Kakashi was curious as to what was going on mentally with his young disciple that left him looking so sickly.

"I just got caught up looking at nature's beauty." Kakashi responded, caressing a nearby plant. The young ninjas scoffed at his lazy excuse. "Anyway we oughta get this mission started. I don't want Lady Tsunade giving me hell for not attending our posts in time" He shrugged.

Sakura gritted her teeth, fed up with her teacher's shenanigans. "Weren't we supposed to be at our posts thirty minutes ago?"

"Oh I did say that, huh? Well it actually starts now, so off to our positions." Kakashi smiled under his mask, knowing his lax attitude always got on his students' nerves. It took everything in Sakura not to power up all of her chakra and beat her teacher straight into the ground.

Eventually, team 7 took off running, following their teacher as he jumped from rooftop to rooftop attempting to find the designated location their file set for them. Naruto on the other hand was already well aware of exactly where the team needed to be, as he had scoped out all of the locations several hours before.

He needed something to distract him. So, he did everything he could think of to escape his tattered mind. He trained, he re-read the files for the upcoming mission, he went to all of the locations they would be stationed. He was desperately clinging to any sense of normalcy he could find.

Gradually Kakashi showed everyone their separate posts and gave out instructions. Naruto tried to focus on Kakashi's words but they were all starting to merge together. In fact, everything was merging together. His vision had already failed him once before and he really didn't need it happening again. But.. their faces were… spinning, and he could feel the world slowly starting to grow dark.

"Naruto?"

When his vision finally came back to him, concerned faces swarmed around him.

"Are you okay? You almost fell over." Sakura asked, her voice laced with worry. Naruto threw his arms in the air, waving it off.

"I'm fine, I just lost my balance for a second, nothing to worry about." He laughed sheepishly, hoping his blatant lie was believable enough. The ninjas shared concerned glances to one another, but decided not to press Naruto any further.

"We'll take your word on it, Naruto." Kakashi stated, making it quite obvious that he, along with the rest of the team, didn't believe a word that came out of the blonde's mouth.

As time slowly ticked by Naruto noticed it was becoming harder and harder to keep his heavy eyelids from shutting. He didn't think sleep deprivation was going to be this bad. Every chance his eyes got to close, they would. His eyes craved for the one thing that Naruto couldn't grant. He wasn't going to give in. The blonde knew that it would be the perfect opportunity for the shadow to finally get him, or any of the other people he cared for. So Naruto's eyes remained open, glued to the suspect. The Uzumaki poured all of his energy, focusing on the person not even a hundred feet away from him.

"Naruto, are you sure you're okay?" A worried voice commented from behind him.

"Geez Sakura, I assure you I'm fine, just a little worn out." The blonde repeated, annoyance seeping through his voice. He understands their concerns for him, but he is currently using all of the energy he can muster up, attempting to concentrate on this stupid mission. He didn't have time for small talk if it wasn't on his own accord.

Wasteless hours had already managed to fly by and still, nothing interesting or even remotely suspicious had taken place. Just normal villagers following their daily routines. After about an hour of stalking Naruto expressed his discomfort towards watching random strangers life's, as he felt he was invading their private lives. Sasuke responded to him saying something along the lines of 'it's not that deep' stupid, petty remarks that only ever sounded cool coming from Sasuke's mouth.

In due time Kakashi called it a day and wrapped up their ninja work for the day. As they were about to part ways they just so happened to bump into the other three teams who, most likely just got done with the same tasks they did.

The group of ninjas slowly started to merge together. During the process, Naruto saw the perfect opportunity to slip away. He wasn't sure If he could keep his smiles and laughs up for any longer than he already had.

"Naruto, where are you sneaking off too?" Shikamaru questioned from behind, causing the group to all turn to Naruto for a response. The blonde cursed Shikamaru's sharpness.

"Oh uh- I wanted to head home to start getting my clothes ready for the wash." He wasn't completely lying, it was something he had to do.

"C'mon you'll be fine! We're all gonna get ramen again!" Kiba said in an attempt to bribe the blonde into staying.

The whole group had been somewhat weary of Naruto, especially after the big scene he threw during the emergency meeting. They all were aware that something was going on with the blonde, and that was just the icing on the cake. But it wasn't just recently either. Naruto has been looking sickly for weeks now, but no one had the balls to ask him about it, in fear of being too pushy. However, it seemed Naruto had gotten a lot worse in only one night.

"No guys, really, I'm good, I really need to catch up on some sleep, and I have the ultimate supreme ramen waiting for me at home." Naruto let out a laugh that sounded more sad than what he hoped for.

"Ugh, fine whatever but you're missing out dude." Kiba shrugged at his failed attempt to cheer him up. Naruto smiled at his friends, turning his back, preparing himself to return to hell.

…

The apartment was cold and quiet.

Naruto laid silently on his far too comfortable bed. It was funny really, his bed had never felt comfortable before this. In fact, he had outgrown it years ago. But, for the first time in years he finally felt relaxed in his own bed. It was indeed saddening. The one time he didn't have the luxury of sleep, is of course the only time his bed feels like an actual bed. Naruto sighed and bit his tongue sharply, not enough to draw blood but coming close. He had recently discovered that pain was an easy asset to helping him stay awake. He was aware that it wasn't the best method but he was desperate.

Naruto's mind was packed with thoughts, he just couldn't boil it all down to coincidence. There was no way. Everything had to be connected, and he was almost sure that him falling asleep was a part of it. So, he was going to stay awake no matter what. He was edging on to his third day of no sleep and although he was determined to follow through with it he wasn't actually confident he could succeed. He had already succumbed to hallucinations and sluggishness. Naruto was conscious that his ability to refrain from sleep wasn't the best. His only record before this, being an all nighter he pulled with Konahamaru.

He chuckled, thinking about all of the fond memories him and his young apprentice had. Naruto hadn't gotten a chance to catch up with him in a little while, as he had been so caught up with missions and ninja work. He missed him. It was lame to admit but Konahamaru was the little brother Naruto never had. He felt inclined to protect and watch over him, something that was never done for him while growing up.

Naruto's childhood was cloudy. The blonde seemed to block out the majority of it, as some sort of trauma response. He tried hard to remember certain events, but the results always being the same, just blurs of memories or dreams, he couldn't tell the difference between them. But one thing from his childhood had always stuck with him, and that was being a miserable pitiful kid never managed to take Naruto anywhere. When someone pitied him that's all they did. They never helped. They never reached out a hand. They just gave him a sympathetic look and went on with their lives. So he decided being overbearing, loud, and cheerful was better than wallowing in self-pity, hoping to gain the empathy of others.

Because of this, Naruto is constantly burying his inner emotions deep inside letting it boil within him, with no form of release. It wasn't healthy at all, but Naruto already imbedded it into his way of coping. He hadn't come to terms with his emotions yet, and he didn't plan on doing it anytime soon.

Naruto groaned as he wearily sat up. He brought his weak hands to his face, feeling his features. His eyes were puffy and exhausted. God, he couldn't even open his eyes all the way. They were stuck halfway, wishing, hoping, they could receive the command to shut. The blue eyed boy stood up, wobbling in the process. Once he felt some strength return to his limps he trudged out of his small bedroom and headed towards the kitchen for a glass of water.

He felt his heart race as he walked past the bathroom. The horrific events of last night replayed in the front of his head. His eyes shut tight seeking to erase it from his already broken mind. His eyes slightly stung from the unfamiliar feeling of eyelids covering it. Naruto was succumbing to the fatigue, as lightheadedness overtook his body completely.

He could feel the hard sensation of the floor meeting his stomach as he slowly drifted to a field of emptiness. Being completely absorbed by the one thing he had been dreading for days on end,

Sleep.