Warning: Violence and gore up ahead.
???'s POV
I died.
Being killed by an unknown virus that spread due to the rumbling isn't exactly the worst kind of death. It was slow and painful but less gruesome and bloodshed.
Eren is dead, and Mikasa is trying to find a way to move on.
This isn't the ending I wanted. Sooner or later, the images that Ymir has shown me decades after the rumbling will happen, eradicating more than half of humanity once more.
And so, as quiet as to how the nights in the barracks with Mikasa would end, slowly but surely, for the second time, if I may add,
I died.
Being dead does not allow me to wander around, pass through walls, and witness one last time the world that I was leaving behind. Death is nothing but darkness that swallows a whole creature.
It was boring to an extent.
Ymir has shown herself to me after my first death, almost blinding me from being pulled out of that darkness. At the time, I was about to lose consciousness if not for that small blonde being that almost horrified me even as a ghost.
She looked too pale, too small, and too worn out, making me think that maybe I had finally arrived at my destination: hell.
But low and behold, meeting Ymir made me think that I preferred going to hell instead.
In my first life, I lost my father at a young age. The only thing I can recall about him was his tired smile and beautiful green eyes. Mother said that I have it too, and it constantly reminded her about her husband years after his death.
And finally, she too passed away. I was holding her hand, forcing myself not to hold it tightly so I wouldn't hurt her, as she calmly waited for death to claim her dying soul.
That was the last time I ever saw my mother because hours later, her friends who were waiting outside finally came in and stated that we should properly bury her alongside my father.
My mother is the most beautiful being that I have ever seen in my life, but more than that, I think I prefer my father's green eyes.
Years later, a war happened. It was the war that my father and mother ran away from, and it involved both the Eldians and Marley. Many have wanted this to happen, and a lot of innocent people have lost their lives without knowing the true story of why their hate for each other began.
I lost my first life because of what I discovered.
I died not because of a man, a woman, a titan, or even an animal. I lost my life because of an unknown being that I blindly stumbled upon deep in the forest, where the intensity of the war was at its peak.
I only meant to find shelter from the rain and to continue aiding those who have been wounded after it let up. It doesn't matter what their nationality is, and I could care less about that part. As I jogged my way into this dense and lifeless forest, wearing full military and medic gear, my eyes eventually wandered toward a huge tree with a hole that I could use as a temporary shelter.
It was a stupid decision for me to even go near it even after seeing how clean that place was, which is uncommon during the war. And yet, my naïve mindset took it as a sign that I could finally rest, even for just a few minutes, not knowing what it would eventually cost.
So, upon taking a step inside it, the first thing that I noticed was how cold the air was inside the tree. And yet, instead of making that a sign for me to leave, the object that I have seen deep within that tree – a sinkhole – captured my whole attention.
After taking a few slow steps near it, I froze because deep within that sinkhole showed a pair of devilish eyes that were even more horrifying than the stare of a titan. I can only think of one word to define what creature it may be as the alarm inside my head continues to warn me of my impending fate.
A demon, one that might have been the creator of the Source of All Organic Matter, leading to the creation of titans.
I thought I was hallucinating and wanted nothing more than to ignore it, but as cruel as a devil can be, it didn't let me escape. The devil was bored, and it wanted a new toy. It said that Ymir Fritz had already done her job, and now, he wanted a new human to play with.
Its fangs tore apart my flesh, and its claws punctured every blood vessel that I had, not caring about the screams that I produced. Cry, it said, scream and despair. No help will come, and dying sounded more merciful than what it had done to my numb, soulless, and hopeless state.
It was at that moment that I lost every dignity that I had, eventually making me think how filthy my body had become.
I couldn't recall when exactly I died because after all of its torture, physically and mentally speaking, the only thing I felt was numbness. Its appearance scared me because of how horrendous it looked, but it didn't bother me anymore, for no pain was felt. My brain couldn't function properly, and my body had become limp.
It might have been my imagination, but I recall it speaking my name, telling me that I shouldn't have been born in the first place.
The daughter of the two cowardly humans should suffer the fate that her parents would have experienced if only they had chosen to fight instead of running away.
And with that, my first life ended in the most gruesome way possible.
Meeting Ymir Fritz after I had died didn't even register in my brain. All I could think about were the things that the devil had done to me.
"So, you've experienced it." A woman's voice called out to me, pulling me out from the darkness that had caged my soul. I looked up and saw her pale blonde hair, thinking that an angel had come to save me.
Oh, how wrong I had been. It took a while, but when I finally noticed her rotting flesh, where bones were dislocated in every direction, I screamed.
"Are you scared?" She asked me while tilting her head, making her loose eyeballs pop out from their sockets. "Why? You've seen it already, right? Both my savior and demise."
After blinking a few times, I slowly nodded my head and whispered, "The devil."
"Yes." She mumbles, pushing her body closer to mine. "The source who gave me the Power of the Titans."
"There's a war." I continued, blanking out and mixing my priorities as different images began to appear inside my head. First was a red sky, then a dismembered body, and lastly, its eyes, one that never stopped tormenting me. With no specific topic in mind, I chose my most recent experience. "Wait, where are we? I… I died."
"Indeed, you have…" Once again, she whispers and gradually lifts a portion of my black hair. Saying that I haven't felt goosebumps is a lie. "You have such beautiful hair…"
"I got it from my mother." Revealing that fact might have been pointless, but I wanted to share how beautiful my mother was, or is, in my memories. Doing so lessened my focus on the devilish being as her red scarf and shiny black hair filled my thoughts.
"And your eyes…" Ymir continues admiring it, making me wonder how she can see if her eyeballs hang and sway like a pendulum. "From your father, I presume?"
I nodded my head in response, focusing on how my father's eyes looked in my memories.
After a few more seconds of me looking around while the spirit of Ymir was admiring my features, she finally got up as I attempted to stand as well.
"Being the daughter of Eren Yeager and Mikasa Ackerman made the devil interested in you." She calmly stated, not even trying to hide the reason behind the devil's actions. "The rumbling was supposed to happen. It was Eren Yeager's destiny to do so. Having you with Mikasa Ackerman was beyond the world's prediction."
I paled, unsure of what to reply. However, just like what I always did, instead of focusing on what happened to me, I instead directed my attention to what she was trying to say.
"They wanted to live in peace." I counter her, wanting to protect my parents from this ancient being.
"There never was peace, not even in my own time."
Then, the scenery changed. From that of a place where only sand covered the whole area while the sky remained dark, Ymir then showed a world where this cruel and devilish king was enslaving a young woman.
"That's you," I whispered, finally noticing how much she had changed before and after her death. But the thing is, her eyes are the same. She was alive, and yet she wished to die.
"Eren was supposed to help me," Ymir stated and began trembling when the scene being shown was her being maimed. "He was supposed to kill them!"
"But then there was you." She slowly turned her head and menacingly glared at me. I wanted to scream so badly, but if I compare her to how I died in the real world, the only thing I can do is feel pity for this lonely being. "Why? Eren's destiny was to sacrifice himself."
"No," I declined as rage began to form within my tattered heart. "He wanted to live with my mom. At least, for four years, they had peace!"
"No one deserves peace!"
Ymir, out of rage, pushed my spirit into a place where my second life would begin. She wanted nothing more than for me to become someone who would see the cruelties of both the Eldians and Marley.
"See it for yourself." Ymir angrily stated and chuckled upon seeing my body being shredded to pieces. "The world where Eren properly did his job. A life where Ymir Fritz got her revenge."
So, for my second life, I became someone who was supposed to die the day my father first turned into a titan.
*****