The 57th Expedition (1)

Mina's POV

There's a reason why my memories during the rumbling were all scattered in my head. Some I have chosen to forget, while the others, one that almost cost me my sanity, Ymir just had those removed, only leaving the part wherein Mikasa beheaded Eren.

Yeah, what a great choice. How nice of Ymir, bless her!

"Your priorities are so mixed up, young Yeager." Ymir once told me as she locked a part of my memories away. "From what I've seen, the horror you've seen in your original world is far more dreadful than the rumbling."

"No," I quickly denied such an accusation as the color of my lips began to bloom once more. "The rumbling is far worse. I mean, from the perspective of their daughter, seeing the death of my parents is just-"

Cruel

Mortifying

I'd rather stare at Ymir's horrendous figure than witness the decapitated head of my father.

Ymir hums before casually saying, "Well, you do have the blood of an Ackerman. If not for loyalty, then what would you have been known for?" 

Those memories are priceless and valuable information. However, letting those go to keep my smile intact, even for just a few years, is something that Ymir has graciously granted me. I'll probably ask her to return those memories of mine from the second world once we've reached that scenario for this round, but for now, all I want to focus on are the goals I've made while staying here in Paradis. 

I want to create wonderful memories before all hell breaks loose. It's selfish and wrong of me to do so, but Ymir can at least grant me that pleasure, right? 

"Doesn't the sky look so beautiful, Mina?" Captain Hange joyfully tells me but immediately shifts gears upon noticing something. "An aberrant! 1oclock! Oh, it looks hideous. I wonder why it looks so fat even though it's lighter?" 

I chuckled, forcing myself to remember that we were currently embarking on an expedition to prove Eren's capability. Daydreaming won't kill me, but it will sure attract suspiciousness. "We can research more about it after this expedition, Captain." 

"That's true. Oh! It's time to change formation." Captain Hange gave me a huge smile before changing directions. "See you later, Mina! Don't die!" 

And as a reply, I smiled. "I won't." 

Here in world number three, since I was placed in Captain Hange's squad, I was stationed to protect one of the carts that contained our new invention. Of course, I wasn't stationed right beside it because I still had to do my job of relaying the smoke signals. The cart is simply noticeable from my position, granting me the privilege to kill any titans that come near it.

But of course, this formation can't easily be destroyed unless there's another intelligent titan added to the mix. 

Such as the female titan.

Just thinking about it makes me want to strangle myself due to guilt. Those people, those soldiers, both parents and children, are going to die at the hands of the female titan who only has one goal in mind: to kidnap Eren Yeager. Almost all of the soldiers that are stationed on the right flank are going to die at this rate, and just like what I did in the second world, I too, have chosen to turn a blind eye. 

I'm sorry.

I am so sorry.

I bit my lip just when several yellow clouds of smoke finally came from the said flank.

There's a reason why I chose not to say anything and to allow such a massacre to proceed. First of all, how the fuck will I even start to explain that a female titan would suddenly appear during the 57th expedition? If there's something that the commanders are known for, then it's their logic and strategic skills. Predictions and hunches are rarely used to create a formation for the upcoming expedition. We're humans, not wizards or witches. 

Secondly, during my time in the second world, I noticed that due to what happened in the right flank, Armin was able to deduce certain things, like, it won't start killing soldiers if she can't see their faces – which is bullshit by the way, since she already killed most of the right flank by then – and that for him to start suspecting Reiner even more, this has to happen. 

It's messed up, and a lot of lives will be taken away, but in a world where the devil controls most aspects of life, this is something that I've got to start considering to be… normal. 

Lastly, this massacre would ultimately lead the whole formation towards the forest of giant trees, where we can try and capture whatever intelligent titan would appear during the expedition. I don't know how Commander Erwin thought of such a scenario, but to even consider it from happening is something no other human could achieve. 

Taking one last look at the yellow clouds of smoke, I whisper for the last time before focusing my thoughts entirely on what's in front of me.

"I'm sorry, and please… don't ever forgive me." 

***

Entering the forest of giant trees gave me a sense of foreboding. Not knowing what would happen here gave me a huge amount of anxiety since I was stationed to keep the Titans at bay back in the second world. The carts have safely reached their destination as most of the soldiers who are currently present have been tasked to do one thing: And that's to prepare our new invention to capture the female titan.

Seriously, Commander Erwin's thought process is out of this world. 

"…"

Should I throw another hint at him? 

I'm sure he already suspects that the enemy has already breached the walls since he's launching a counterattack right now, but he doesn't know who it is. If I recall correctly, Armin said that Annie hesitated when they attacked her during the expedition. Am I right to think that it would also apply to me? 

Have I been good to Annie? 

"Hmm," I hummed, concluding that it was worth a shot even if she tried to kill me. "Hint, it is." 

"Did you say something, Mina?" Captain Hange called out to me just when we were finishing the preparations. 

I panicked. Did she hear me? But even if she did, it'll be quite a while before she realizes what those words meant, provided that she remembers it. "Well, I just had a thought." 

"Thought about what?" Now, it was the commander's voice that captured our attention. Seriously, he appears exactly at the right moment every fucking time. Is he the God of Timing? 

Now, there's no way I can get out of this. I gave him a brief salute before giving him my thoughts. "Commander, you were expecting this to happen. However, have you thought about where exactly the enemy is currently hiding in our walls?" 

Captain Hange openly showed her surprise, but to my expectation, the commander only gave me a kind and gentle smile. He looks like a father who is proud that someone has even managed to glimpse what he is trying to see. However, hidden within his smile, I knew that he already expected me to notice. "Do you have an idea how to identify them?"

I hummed. "I do." 

But before he even asks what it is, Captain Hange has already inserted herself in between us, ultimately showing her a puzzled look. "Hold up, is it just me, or am I not understanding anything that you're trying to say? And commander, why are you questioning a recruit?" 

"Just because." 

Aha.

I slowly placed the back of my hand over my lips to hide whatever expression I was making. How amusing, Commander Erwin. 

To prevent Captain Hange from further questioning us, I quickly spoke my thoughts out loud. "It's just a thought, but in a fight, if a murderer spots someone he knows among his targets, then he would most likely hesitate before going for the kill, right? So," I paused and noticed how focused they were on what I was trying to say. "What if he or she hesitates as well upon encountering an acquaintance?" 

"Are you referring to what we're capturing right now?" I nodded at Captain Hange's statement, apparently making her even more confused. "That's… a bit random." 

On the contrary, the commander begged to differ. "I don't think it's random. She has a point." 

Upon getting a positive response from Commander Erwin, I took another step forward in providing them with the hint that they were trying to acquire. "Commander and Captain Hange, please allow me to confront the titan we're about to capture." 

"What?" I blinked and again repeated my request, only to be stopped by the captain once more. "You're risking your life just to see if it hesitates?"

Well, technically, yes. 

But more than that, I too, have a different goal to achieve today. "If it's after Eren, then shouldn't we try and hide him among the soldiers? That way, the intelligent titan after him won't be able to kill every soldier that he or she might face." 

"You can skip that part," Commander Erwin intervenes, saying something that I greatly oppose. Nonetheless, I stayed quiet and listened. "Stick with your initial plan. Retreat immediately once you've gotten the results." 

But before I can even respond, Captain Hange grabbed both of our shoulders and spoke in a loud voice. "Wait! Stop being too fast and listen for a second!" 

Her eyes, which were filled with confusion earlier, are now replaced with determination and worry. She frowned at me before speaking once more. "We can just interrogate it once we've captured the titan. Why are you even risking your life just to see if it knows you?" 

"Because if it does know me," I gulped and glanced at the commander to see if he wanted to continue my statement. But upon seeing his steel gaze, I continued. "Then there's a possibility that the enemy who's trying to kidnap Eren is among the new batch of soldiers in which I am included." 

Then it clicked. The gaze that was connected to mine showed signs of understanding and awareness, one that served as my signal to act. 

With a steady and heartfelt salute, I pleaded. "Please, captain, use me." 

And so, they did.

***