The Life of a Princess

-Anika's Point of View-

(continuation of the third letter)

After the Agni Kai duel with Ozai, Fire Lord Azulon halted all of my training sessions to give me time to recuperate from the burn. 

I was out by the pond one lovely morning, enjoying tea with Iroh when Ozai suddenly came crashing in and pulled on the collar of my shirt.

"Why did you do it?" he angrily asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked back.

"You did it on purpose, didn't you? You let me win on purpose so that I would look weak in the eyes of my father!" he continued shouting.

I suddenly got irritated at the fact that he somehow always finds a way to blame me for everything that was going wrong in his life.

My patience was already at the limit, so I snapped at him.

"Why is it my fault that you didn't have the guts to burn me?! So what if I let you win on purpose? You were given an opportunity for a victory, but you let it slip away. You hesitated!" I shouted back at him.

"You're the one who humiliated yourself," I said concluding my argument against his accusation.

He gritted his teeth and didn't reply. Instead, he pushed me to the ground and walked away. 

Ozai later found out that I let him win on purpose during the duel and he confronted me about it. Our conversation got heated when I lost patience with him.

I got irritated at the fact that he was accusing me of having wrong intentions in letting him win when the only reason I did so was because I didn't want to hurt him. 

I thought that he on the other hand wouldn't have a hard time finishing off the fight, that's why I decided to let him win. But he thought I did it on purpose so that he'd be humiliated in front of his father.

Ever since that quarrel we had, our friendship went back to zero. I rarely got to see him as I was prohibited from training until I had completely healed. 

Fire Lord Azulon cooped me inside my room in order to study certain firebending techniques from an ancient tribe.

"Anika, it is time you learn about your ancestors," Fire Lord Azulon said as he laid out scrolls and books in front of me.

"Study carefully and read through every scroll and page until you've fully understood it all. This will be your training until you've healed completely," he commanded.

I stayed inside my room reading and trying to understand the scriptures written in the scrolls and books he had brought to me. 

There I learned about the ancient tribe that could bend white fire. They were called the Fintan Tribe.

Fire Lord Azulon believed that my mother was able to pass down that bloodline to me.

Looking back, I realized that it was the one he tried to talk about with my parents on the day he first visited our house. I didn't understand it back then, but now I know why he was so eager to train me.

The Fintan Tribe was known to possess great fire prowess to the point where the Earth Kingdom ordered annihilation towards them out of fear.

According to the scriptures, the white fire that the Fintans could bend is a hundred times hotter than the red fire. But one can only yield white fire after being blessed by the eternal white flame of the Phoenix.

I have no regard for that information since I had no interest in such spiritual beings.

Instead, I focused on studying their bending forms. They possess a lot of styles and techniques but the one that intrigued me the most was 'lightning generation'.

It was a technique that transforms energy into electricity. Separating the positive and negative energy; creating an imbalance that results in lightning generation. 

It was the only thing unique among all the other bending styles I have seen and it was said to be more powerful and more destructive than regular firebending.

I continued my study about the ancient tribe until I had recuperated from my injury which took about 6 months.

Once I was permitted to train again, I immediately tried to learn lightning generation, and it took me another 6 months to be able to master it.

"Magnificent performance! A job well done indeed Anika. You just never fail to make me proud," Azulon praised after I demonstrated to them the lightning generation technique.

"Surely this will be newsworthy for the people in the Earth Kingdom," Azulon's right-hand man complimented.

"Let the word be known. It's about time the Earth Kingdom feared the Fire Nation once again," Azulon commanded to his servants.

After a few days, Iroh's engagement was publicly announced to the whole nation. Fire Lord Azulon held an engagement banquet in order to celebrate the lives of the future Fire Lord and Fire Lady.

"Anika, now that you have proven your true worth, it is just rightful for you to be rewarded." Azulon made me stand beside him and then he faced the crowd.

"Let it be known to the people of the Fire Nation! Your princess, Anika, is now officially a bonafide firebending master!" Azulon shouted to all the people that had gathered at the banquet.

Fast forward to two years, I was renowned as a firebending master at the age of 14 for being able to demonstrate and relive a firebending technique that was thought to be extinct.

It was also at that time when Iroh's engagement with Tanwen—a noble lady from the Fire Nation; had been announced to the public.

"Now that you're a firebending master, it is about time you conclude your learning from all the training you've had and apply them in real-life combat. From now on Anika, you will be serving in the Fire Nation military," Azulon commanded.

"The raids to the Earth Kingdom colonies are weak, we will need a strong frontline if we want to be successful. The Earth Kingdom is known for their stubbornness, they won't give up without a good fight," a Seargent suggested.

"If it's a good fight they want then it's a better fight we'll give," I replied. "Bring the 23rd division to the left side and the 35th on the right, they'll be the ones to enter and seize the colony as I lead the 41st as a diversion," I commanded to them.

"Yes, lieutenant!" they shouted.

"You seem to be working hard Lieutenant Anika," Iroh greeted once I got out of the war room.

"But of course, I have to live up to your expectations, General Iroh," I teased while bowing down.

"Then would you mind to spare some time for a cup of tea?" he asked with a smile.

"Tea would be lovely," I replied before joining him.

Along with becoming a firebending master was having to play a role in the war. By the age of 17, I became a lieutenant in the army, while Iroh became a general and a father to his 2-year-old son named Lu Ten.

Being a lieutenant and general, Iroh and I would always still meet in the war room and would often have small conversations over tea after strategizing for the raids in the Earth Kingdom colonies.

What became of Ozai, however, was unknown to me. Azulon never really favored him that much, for in his eyes, he was just the second son. He never gave him a part to play in the war.

It was believed that Ozai spent most of his time cooped up inside the palace walls, training and studying.

"I rarely see Ozai nowadays," I asked Iroh during our tea breaks.

"So do I, but from what I heard, father is keeping a close eye on him. He makes him train every day and makes him study everything about the fire nation," Iroh replied.

One night I found myself loitering in the gardens near Ozai's room, there I saw him drilling his firebending skills over and over again.

Just like when we were kids—he was alone... again.

Having developed a soft spot for the man, I once again found myself pitying him the same way I did when I was 10 years old.

I wanted to be there for him and let him know that I was still his friend.

But of course, since I had an important role in the war, I never had time to be able to meet with Ozai.

At first, I thought that that would be what would become of our friendship, so I decided to focus only on the things I had to do.

I performed my duties well in aiding the raids toward the Earth Kingdom colonies and lashed out my anger at some of their soldiers—blaming them for my family's demise.

But it was during the 5th raid that I realized how cruel I had become. I was taking away people's lives and their loved ones.

All of a sudden, a thought came to mind. If my father and mother were still alive, they would've been very disappointed with what I had become.

That's when I decided that I'd had enough. I pleaded with the Fire Lord to make me stay within the palace walls to which of course he did not approve, for he wanted me to be at the frontline in these ongoing raids. 

But of course, I fought for my way. 

"Father please, you have to understand. In my years of service as a lieutenant in the army, the only thing I had observed was that the Fire Nation does not lack leaders. We are blessed with strong-willed leaders and even more so with potential leaders!" I said trying to convince Fire Lord Azulon to let me stay inside the palace.

"But we lack skill! Most of our soldiers are under-trained. Even the firebending masters don't possess skills appropriate for combat!" I continued.

"Enough! I have heard enough! My decision is final! You are to continue your service in the military, whether you like it or not!" Azulon strongly opposed.

"If you let me stay here, I will offer all of my time honing the skills of every cadet in the military, navy—and whatever, you name it!" I pleaded more.

"The future of the fire nation army lies in the training that the soldiers acquire from the camps. As a known firebending master, it is one of my duties to uphold in honing the skills of every firebender in the nation," I continued more.

Fire Lord Azulon turned his back on me and was about to walk away. But I won't let it end there.

"Surely the fire nation camps are in need of a teacher! After Jeong-Jeong had unruly defected from the Fire Nation... our people needs a new master." I ended my speech.

Azulon took a moment before he could reply. "I'll think about it."

In exchange for keeping me inside the palace walls, I offered my service in honing the skills of the fire nation soldiers.

Constant pleading had soon convinced Fire Lord Azulon to heed to my conditions and in no time, I was assigned to train cadets.

"Your constant pleas have reached me. As you wish, I will let you stay within the palace walls, in exchange for becoming a master to the young cadets," Azulon said as we were gathered in the throne room.

"Of course Father! I won't let you down!" I exclaimed.

"You are to train them and make them great and skillful firebenders. Any sign of underperformance from your students would result in your reassignment to the frontlines of the war. Do we have an understanding?" Azulon threatened.

"Yes, Fire Lord," I said as I bowed down.

"Also, there is one more thing," Azulon suddenly said.

I suddenly felt someone's presence standing beside me. I looked up and saw Ozai.

"You are also to oversee Ozai's firebending training. Your task is to teach him lightning generation," Azulon said.

He even assigned me to personally train Ozai the ways of lightning generation. When I was given that role, I used it as a chance to once again rebuild my friendship with him.

"You've never been to a festival before?" I playfully asked the scruffy young adult.

"No," he timidly replied.

"If you're going to be this nation's ruler someday, you have to familiarize yourself with the ways of your people," I teased.

"I'm not going to be the ruler of this nation, that role has already been destined for my brother," he uninterestingly said.

I forgot that second sons always get the short end of the stick.

"Either way, you have to know what it's like to be out there! Why don't we head to the dragon festival later?" I invited him.

"Father won't approve of that," he shrugged.

"Of course he won't. But he doesn't have to know," I said and then winked at him. "Meet me by the pond when the sky gets dark," I whispered.

Things had to be formal between us in the eyes of the public, especially during the day.

But at night, we would often disguise ourselves, and go to some place outside the palace where we could be free to do whatever we want.

Looking back, Ozai and I never really had a happy childhood. So sneaking out at night was our way to live out our childhood fantasies.

Our little rendezvous went on until I was 20, and Ozai was 25.

It was in those moments that I finally realized my feelings for him, and fortunately enough, he felt the same way.

However, when Fire Lord Azulon found out that Ozai and I started harboring feelings for each other, he tried his best to make it stop.

"I never knew peach pies could taste this great," Ozai said as he gobbled up one slice of the pie.

"You've definitely got to try that flaming fire flakes again!" I teased him and then we both laughed.

"So this is the kind of training that you've been doing?" Fire Lord Azulon greeted us as we were trying to sneak our way back into the palace.

"Father, I—I can explain," I tried to reason out but he wouldn't listen.

"You should know better than to disobey me, Anika. And you! You should've known better not to give in to such petty temptations! Clearly, you have been the one luring Anika out for a stroll,"

"Father no, it was I—" 

"Silence! You are to go back in service for the military, and you are to stay there until I order you to come home," he reprimanded.

"No, Father please!" I pleaded.

"And you Ozai, you are to be under surveillance every hour of the day. I will see to it," he said.

He blamed Ozai for distracting me and being a hindrance in my duties as the Princess and soldier of the Fire Nation.

In short, he was strongly against the budding relationship.

That is why Fire Lord Azulon had me sent away to serve on guard duty in the Pohuai stronghold which was in the lands of the Earth Kingdom.

There I served for five years before being called to go back to the mainland.

"Master Anika, a message from the Fire Lord," one of the commanders said as he handed me a letter.

"Looks like five years of being away from my father made him miss me this much," I said with a smirk.

"Ready the ship commander! I'm going home."

After years of being gone, I was ecstatic to return for finally, I would be able to meet Ozai again. I have missed him so much that I have longed for this day.

However, the joy left me as soon as I found out everything that had happened in the five years that I was gone.

"Anika, it is a pleasure to see you again," Iroh greeted as soon as I arrived at the palace. Tanwen stood beside him after giving me a warm hug.

"Aunt Anika! Have you brought me a present?" my now 10-year-old nephew, Lu Ten, energetically greeted. 

"But of course I have!" I gave him a bow and arrow set that was gifted to me by the Yuyan Archers during my time of training with them.

"Wow! Mother! Father! Can I use it now? Can I? Can I?" He pleaded with his parents.

"You may use it later," Tanwen said softly to his son.

"Anika, welcome home," Father greeted me with arms wide open. In my early years of service in the Pohuai Stronghold I held great resentment towards him. It subsided with time since I also enjoyed training and serving the people there.

Behind Father was Ozai who was just standing still. I immediately smiled at the sight of him. I ran to hug him tightly and whispered in his ear how much I had longed for this day to come. But he just stood there still and didn't utter a single word.

I broke off from the hug and tried to look him in the eyes but he was looking away.

"By the way, during your time of absence, there were some new additions to the Royal Family of the Fire Nation," Azulon said and then he gestured at the person who was behind Ozai.

"Ursa?" I asked, trying to make out of the familiar face. "It is you!" I said and then I hurried to hug her.

"So you two are acquainted with each other?" Azulon asked.

"We were friends from childhood," I answered him.

"Well then that's great news! It seems it was destined for the both of you to be part of the Royal Family," Azulon exclaimed.

"But how did you become a part of the royal family?" I eagerly asked her.

"Oh, didn't you know? Surely I have sent you a letter to have you informed," Father replied.

"Informed about what?" I asked in confusion. 

"Mama..." All of a sudden a young boy ran towards Ursa and hid behind her. For some reason, he kind of looks familiar.

"Who must you be?" I asked the young boy sweetly.

"That is your nephew, Anika. Ursa and Ozai's firstborn—Zuko," Azulon answered.

As it turns out, as soon as I was sent away, Fire Lord Azulon had arranged a marriage between Ozai and a humble lady from the same land that I grew up on.

That lady was no other than an old friend of mine—Ursa.

To make things worse, they even now have a 2-year-old son named Zuko and Ursa had just recently given birth to a baby girl they named Azula.

My heart was crushed and I felt betrayed by all of them.

I had not known back then everything that went on in the shadows and I didn't bother knowing because I was filled with bitterness inside.

I tried acting casual towards all of them—acting as if nothing happened; pretending as if everything was normal. I even congratulated them and welcomed my childhood friend into the royal family.

But Ozai knew I was not fine.

One night, he visited me in my room and there we had a chance to talk things out.

"Anika, listen to me—"

"Enough Ozai! I've already heard enough. There's no need for you to explain further," I yelled back at him.

"Anika, I didn't have a choice! It was Father's command, you know what it's like to go against the Fire Lord's orders!" he tried explaining still.

"I said enough!" I shouted once more. "I know what it's like! That was the reason I had to be away for five years in the first place!"

"It was the reason why I had to endure all those nights hopelessly wishing for the day that Father—Fire Lord Azulon would come to realize the feelings we shared," I said with tears falling down my cheeks.

"I just thought that if I had obeyed, he would've soon accepted it—accepted us," I continued.

"Anika..." Ozai held on to my wrist and pulled me in for a tight hug.

I cried out to him and vented out all the anger and bitterness I had inside while all he ever did was hug me tight.

After years of longing for his touch; I have craved him so much that I was not able to hold back, and thus Maya, you were conceived that night.

I felt a great sense of guilt about what had happened between me and him. Even if Ozai assured that i was the only one he had ever loved, it still did not feel right.

He was already a married man, and he was married to no stranger. I don't want to betray Ursa just like that.

"Thank you for joining me today for some tea Ursa," I greeted her with a smile. "There's something I have been meaning to tell you these past few days—"

"Anika, there's something you should know first," Ursa suddenly said seriously.

A week after that night with Ozai, I invited Ursa out for tea in the palace garden. I wanted to ask for her forgiveness for what I had done.

But even before I could reveal to her the thing that happened between me and Ozai, she revealed to me first something that changed the trajectory of my life.