Love or Infatuation?

Rajat stormed his way inside Dhiraj's office. Days later, finally Dhiraj was back at office. And finally Rajat could meet him face to face. Because the urgent matters that he had to discuss could only be done by meeting in person.

Dhiraj concluded by the way Rajat stormed in that he meant business. And that sigh, Rajat let out once he reached Dhiraj's desk only made it clearer that that matter had been making Rajat restless for quite some time. He did have some guesses about what could be those matters and the top one he guessed was the "office session" he had with his beloved. So without waiting for Rajat questions, he offered his explanation.

"Look. I know what you want to complain about and all I can say is....stuff happens...at times. And you have no control over it."

Rajat didn't understand what Dhiraj was trying to say. But he didn't really care because there was something else he MUST confirm first. And without wasting any further time he did just that. "Did you tell Nakul about the photographer incident and about how ma'am made you sign this contract [fake dating contract]?"

Dhiraj was confused. Why is he asking this? Come to think of it, Nakul too kept asking if Rajat asked me anything or not. Did they meet? Did he tell Nakul about 'that' incident? No! But if he did, Nakul would've asked me tons of questions. So Dhiraj decided to gamble his way. "I did. Why?" I did tell Nakul about how Avanti is making me do these things. So.....I DID tell him.

Now that Rajat had an answer, his fury returned. "So he knows why you are doing these things yet he tries to pull off stunts like these?"

The snow leopard[A/N: It's official. Snow Leopard is Rajat's spirit animal] couldn't keep his calm any longer. "Also.....at office?" That statement rather made Dhiraj feel proud than ashamed. His shameless smile grew wider.

Rajat continued, " Are you crazy? Do you understand how risky this is?! What could've happened if someone saw you?"

"But nothing happened right?"

"Are you waiting for something to happen?" Rajat was in pure agony as he heard of that shameless man's response.

"Rajat. Love.....makes you do crazy things." Dhiraj began in a preachy pompous tone. "You've never been in love right Rajat?" He waited for the man's response.

Of course he didn't get any because Rajat had no answer to that. That was the only area in his life he had no experience whatsoever. Dhiraj knew that would exactly be the way their conversation would go. He should make Rajat understand that his and his baby's relationship is something that is beyond Rajat's understanding. That would be the only way he will leave us alone.

Dhiraj shot his next aim. "See. That's why you don't understand it. You should....go out and experience love."

Rajat was absolutely baffled. Here he was trying to make his boss understand the seriousness of the situation but instead, he was the one being lectured?!

Dhiraj on the other hand continued, "Do you know Ruhi has a thing for you?"

Rajat got seemingly uncomfortable at that question.

"She crushes hard on you! Maybe you should go out with her. Give her a chance." Dhiraj tried to deflect from the main topic of discussion.

Of course Rajat knew what his boss was trying to do. I need to ask him straight. Only then will he understand what I'm trying to get to. "Sir. We aren't talking about me here. We are talking about you. And I know you hate it when I ask this question but-" His tone shifted to seriousness. "I still have to ask it to you. And I know I don't have any right to raise this question, but again.....I consider myself as your well-wisher so I MUST ask you this question.." His eyes reflected the truth. And that reached Dhiraj. Maybe this time, he should answer the question Rajat had with some nuance.

"Are you sure what you feel towards Nakul IS love and not some infatuation developed due to the dynamic that exists between you two?" Rajat finally asked. The objective of his question was simple: To make Dhiraj aware that maybe there's a sliver of chance that what he was feeling wasn't love at all. It was just a romanticized idea of 'the one'. And maybe it was best if he took into consideration the baggage his 'one'; a monochrome; might bring with him. And thankfully Dhiraj did appear to give his question careful examination.

Minutes passed by and Dhiraj simply couldn't find the words to explain what he felt. How? Just how should I explain to him what I experience every time I see Nakul smile? It's as if a new star is born every time he smiles. It's just so bright. And blinding to the extent that I don't mind not being able to see the world around us just so that I could see him smile more. As if he's the first rain of the monsoon. Someone I had been longing to meet since an eternity. He even smells like rain. No-more like the aroma of the earth soaked in the 1st rain. Or like the purples and oranges of the dusky sun that makes you feel at ease. Your heart cannot help but feel content by that sight. Just.....how should I explain this?

"I....I don't know how to explain it to you Rajat. It's just that....I've never felt such intense pull towards anyone-"

"Exactly!" Rajat interrupted midway. "A pull. That's what I'm trying to make you understand. You feel this way because you are his chrome."

"No. That's not tru-"

"Isn't it uncanny that you never felt this way for any of your previous partners. But it's only him making you experience emotions?" Rajat got straight to the point.

"Yes. And that's because I love him." Dhiraj wasn't toying around anymore. "What I feel about him is different. In fact I have never felt anything for anyone before." That was frustrating. He rubbed his forehead trying to find a way to make Rajat understand what he meant. "They were just means to meet my physical needs. And maybe to have some companionship when I felt lonely. But it's....It's different with Nakul. My feelings towards him are more sincere." His desperate eyes met Rajat. They were trying their best to reflect their true emotions. But Rajat wasn't going to give up easily. In fact that response only solidified his claim.

"Exactly. That's how the dynamic is designed to make the monochrome and chrome feel." The infatuation his employer had for monochromes and his research made him reach to only one conclusion. "Everything about both of you is designed in a way that will make you both tied down to each other." Just like a moth who is attracted to light. It doesn't understand why it feels pulled towards that light. But that light might just be a burning fire. And it might just be the reason to burn that moth's wings.

But Dhiraj begged to differ. "Why are you making being-a-monochrome look as something...bad?"

Rajat didn't respond to that question.

"Why are you making our dynamic look bad?" Dhiraj's expressions had turned sour. He did understand the fact that Rajat was simply trying to look out for him. But it also infuriated him how he was making Nakul look like someone dangerous.

At first, even I thought of Nakul as a harmless guy. He looked modest and was kind and polite. But that day the ominous look he had in his eyes changed my mind. Sure, he might be a good guy. But he IS dangerous for you. And being cautious rather than being sorry is always the better choice. Rajat stood firm on his ground. And that only pissed on Dhiraj more.

"Why are you making my relationship look bad?" He nearly screamed at Rajat. He didn't want to raise his voice. Especially since he was well aware about Rajat's good intent.

But It was that same 'good intent' that made Rajat question Nakul. It had been 9 years since Rajat 1st met Dhiraj. At first Dhiraj was merely a rich kid who wanted to flaunt his wealth for Rajat. But that soon changed into an admirable Senior. So when Dhiraj presented an opportunity of working together, Rajat took it without any hesitation. And even though he tried to pretend that their relationship was of a mere boss and employee, Rajat cared. He did. And if only he could say those words out loud. Instead he chose those easy yet spiteful words.

"Because monochromes are dangerous!"

*Silence

Dhiraj did expect that answer. But hearing them from Rajat's mouth still hurt him. His defenses went up.

"Others might be. But not Nakul." Dhiraj defended his love.

"If that was the case then why would he hurt you?" Rajat wasn't going to back down either. I HAVE to make him acknowledge the fact that what Nakul did IS harmful for his health and well being. Admitting this would at least be the first step in the right direction.

And Dhiraj did understand what Rajat meant by that question. Of course he had to deflect that question once again. "Hurt me? Rajat I thought I made it clear earlier that people can do some crazy things when-"

"Sir. Although I don't understand much of....sex between men. I still think what he did was too much. But right now I'm talking about why Nakul came here." He waited for Dhiraj to acknowledge that fact. But that man didn't even bat an eye.

Rajat was in utter disbelief. It's not that he doesn't realize it. It's more like he doesn't want to accept that. He had enough of those two. Maybe I need to spell it out for you. "Okay. I'll tell you. He was here so that he could wear you off and you won't be able to attend the premiere." Rajat lashed out.

"And leave that issue aside. My main concern is: if he loves you why will he ever do something that he knows would be physically taxing on you?" Rajat voices his concerns. And although he expected that finally, finally Dhiraj will accept how f-ed up that is, his employer was calm.

That was because Dhiraj already had a hunch that that might be the reason why his baby visited him. He did understand that Nakul's intentions were a bit...shady but what he also concluded was that his baby loved him too. Maybe a bit too much. But...I deserve all his love after how much he had made me suffer, right? A tine-tiny smile made its way on Dhiraj's face.

And again. How can he not defend his love? "Rajat, how many times have you had sex?" He abruptly asked Rajat, putting the man in an awkward situation.

"What?!"

Dhiraj didn't let go of the question. He made a guess. "2 times?"

The snow leopard turned red. He had never ever talked with boss about his private matters and the man asking him that question so bluntly. Also 2?!!!!!! Just 2? "It's more than 2 times." He must get the facts clear.

Dhiraj rolled his eyes. I bet it's not more than 5 though. But I digress. "Okay. Mr more-than-2-times but have you ever had good sex?"

Rajat didn't respond. He had no answer.

"See. Sex is different for people. You might like it the gentle way. But others like to switch things up sometimes. And the main paint is: I liked it. So that is all that matters."

Rajat did understand that people have their preferences. But something about Nakul just didn't sit right with him. Just how can I make him understand that maybe this isn't the best way to go about things. That maybe Nakul isn't the right person for him? He desperately searched for a way to make Dhiraj consider looking at things from an unbiased lens. And sometimes, it's just plain simple honesty that works.

"Sir. Have I ever meddled in your personal life unnecessarily?" Rajat asked with a stern face. And looking at that face, Dhiraj knew Rajat was expecting some sincerity.

"No."

"No matter what u did I didn't interfere. Ever. Because I'm nothing more than someone who works for you." He looked Dhiraj right into his eyes, just letting them communicate. "And I tried ignoring this too. But as important it is to assess a business proposal from different perspectives. Sometimes it's equally important to apply the same in our personal life as well."

A pause.

"And that's why I NEED to ask you this one more time." He paused once more so that he had undivided attention of Dhiraj. "Are you sure what you feel about Nakul is love? Or is it the infatuation that you have with monochromes that's making you experience these emotions?"

* * *

Hello!! 

If you like my work please do leave a review!!

It will greatly help me!!

~Thank u~