Chapter 24

A month has passed since I meet Sister Ancelina.

I found out that since they know that I get sick, the bullying lessens. From what I heard from Brother Winslow, they seem to misunderstand his cooking as some kind of poison to torture me.

Because of it, I tell Brother Winslow to tell my mother to fake illness to make them stop bullying her. I'm really grateful for the wonderful misunderstanding.

I don't understand why do they keep misunderstanding my intentions. Sometimes I feel that I didn't hide my feelings and accidentally show them to my face but their reactions are too harsh or they just ignored it.

I can't believe them! How could they misunderstand my (Renneshia's) cute face (probably)?

I have seen my face in the water reflection and I think it looks quite cute. Is there something wrong with my face?... I think it was caused by my black hair and eyes. After all, they're a group of people who discriminate against others because of their differences.

Actually most people in the Eastern part of the Empire have been like this for hundred years. They started doing that because of the Temple of Light doctrine.

My deduction after reading the history book of the Eastern part of the Empire was something strange from the teaching of the Temple of Light.

They write those suspicious holy bible books. The teaching and what is written in it are mostly contradictory. It seems there's also some corrupt priest when I listen to Brother Winslow and Sister Ancelina story.

I thought about the mystery in this world while flipping the book. After I act like an innocent and foolish child in front of the tutor last week, he decided to let me read the book from the library by myself.

My mind keeps praising his laziness to teach me. Because of his laziness, I'm able to freely access the library in Ruach's mansion.

I have been reading in my room after I took some books from the library for a week. Of course, I also get scolded by Brother Winslow when I start it.

Ugh...I don't want to remember his scary expression as he nagged at me.

Not only me. Even Ancelina secretly told me that she still had a nightmare when she remembered what happened to her before when she first met Brother Winslow.

Both of us didn't dare to protest to him because he was the only one who could give us those delicious foods. As expected, delicious food is the most important of human basic needs.

After I get a fever, I revised my plans again. I started to do some exercises such as yoga or taichi exercises that I saw in my previous life for my flexibility.

I also do some muscle training such as lifting and bringing the books from my room to the library or the reverse. Those thick and heavy books were as heavy as a barbell for my current body.

I remembered that Renneshia in the game was also good with swords. So I need to train myself before they start my sword magic.

I can't find any books about magic in the library but I can find some books about knighthood or martial arts.

When I found it, I feel a bit interested and started reading it. But I find out that the technique written in the books were too crude.

How could they teach swordsmanship in such an unbelievably crazy way!? What does it mean to praise the Goddess for her blessings and keep swinging your sword until you understand the skills?

I feel unable to understand the basic techniques of the martial arts in this world. I don't know if it will be different if I could read the intermediate or advanced books. I looked around but I can't find it.

Looking at the difference, I think it's better to train with my previous life memories with the martial arts in my past life knowledge. Luckily I had an interest in martial arts and learn the basics.

I remembered my reasons to learn it was to be able to protect myself from the rising numbers of molester cases around my house.

At that time I learned it to protect myself but I was quite lucky because I never found them. But sometimes I often found some people who have bad luck appeared from time to time. Like that man who got hit in between his leg when I use the train. Or the man that got accidentally elbowed by other passengers in the public busses. The most coincidence things were they often stood near or even beside me.

For some reason, they seem to fear me when I try to help them. I often question myself if I have a similar face as someone they fear or if they have some phobias of women. There are too many things in the world that cannot be explained by science. Even if I try really hard to deny it but I can't avoid the fact.

In the end, the martial arts that I learned were useless. But I'm glad that I learned it before.

At least I have a bit of knowledge about the postures or basic techniques. I am glad that I can still remember the basic move of karate, aikido and some kung-fu exercises that I have learned before.

I secretly trained my martial arts in my room. A few days ago I got caught when I was secretly trained in my room by Brother Winslow when he brought my breakfast and dinner. He was looking at me with a strange gaze before he shook his head and act normally. That's really embarrassing.

At that time,

***

"Brother Winslow, do you want to ask me about something? Is there something that you are curious about how do I know about that information?"

I prepare myself to tell him about the truth.

But...

"I was suspicious and a bit curious before so I try to ask about it from your mother. She had told me about the answer that I was looking for. You don't need to force yourself to speak about it if it was something that was hard to tell to other people. It might be related to your fate as how your mother told me before." Brother Winslow said with a warm smile.

"You seem to like to make some gossip about me with my mom. But it will make me guilty as if I am lying to you and..."

Hmm, my mother seems to know something...I don't know about her as there is no information in the game and I couldn't find any information about the race from the Spirit Continent. I need to note it and ask about it to my mother when we run away from this place.

...Well, I admit that I feel guilty for lying but I am also afraid that he will change the way he treated me if he knows the truth. That's why I can't say it but also want to tell him. It was a complicated and contradicting feeling.

"You don't need to care about the lie. Like when you helped Ancelina's mother, didn't you say that sometimes people lie to help other people? Right now, you are doing the same things, right?"

He looked at me with a warm gaze. And I found out that what he is saying is also what I have know but it feels different when it happened directly to me.

I found and learn a new thing. It was hard to look at ourselves. That's why human is a social being. We need another person to help us look and correct at our flaws.

"I think you understand what I am talking about." Brother Winslow pat my head as he said it.

I feel that he often treated me like a normal child. It hurt my previous life pride as an adult.

"Then that means that you also have some secret that you hide from me, right?" I decided to ask him.

"Pfff...well, that might be counted as a secret to you. But it will be better if you did not know about it. It will make you much cuter or maybe funny..."

He keep laughing as he look at my pouting face that I made to show him that I was angry while keeping my cuteness into my act. But it only makes him laugh louder.

I am really curious about what he hid from me.

***

His words at that time make me try to combine my knowledge and experience in my previous life. While I still can not help but to feel more curious about his secret. Suddenly I thought it might be related to my previous life habits as I started to try to remember about my past life memory.

But as I keep remembering about my past life, I started to realize about something important. When I look at my past life, I started to feel that I was not as unlucky as I thought in my past life. Or it was rather more categorised as a blessed life.

If I compared it to my current situation, it's similar to comparing heaven and hell. I have looked at my current (Renneshia's) memory. And although I currently only have lived for two years, there are too many hardships that I felt in that short time of my current life. In my previous life, I have never felt hungry while still needing to do my work or need to work with thin rag-like clothes while I was hungry in the winter.

Such inhumane things happen to the current me and my mother. I can't believe it that both of us are able to survive until I regain my previous life memory. It is still hard for me to accept it. But I need to face the reality and only do my best to prevent my death flags and to save the people around me. That's why I keep learning and training myself to accumulate my own power and knowledge to help me to survive in this world.