Chapter 35

I feel like I want to kill the past me from doing such an embarrassing lie to Nemesio. Should I bury myself to hide myself right now?

My mind is in anguish as Sister Ancelina who heard how Nemesio call me is making an annoying face.

"Hehehe, I never imagine that our adult like Young Miss is actually a fairy. Is this your secret? Now I could understand the reason for how you can be so smart when you are still so young. So, what else that you are hiding from me and Mr. Winslow?" She asked me to tease me.

I really want to turn back time and hit my past self right now.

"I didn't know that he will believe the story that I made. It's not that I want to lie to him...alright, I just want to make him to not tell other people about me. At first, he and two other kids come here last night. They think that I was a ghost that haunted this place. That kid, Nemesio was pushed by two other kids and got hurt. I decided to help him because he was crying. And he comes back to thank me for my help and ask me to become his friend." I decided to tell the full story to Sister Ancelina.

"So you don't like to be called a ghost but you like it when he calls you 'Miss Black Fairy'?!" Sister Ancelina continues with her teasing.

"You also know that they will punish me if they find out that I have interacted with the guest, right? I decided to act as a fairy to prevent him from telling others about my existence. I never thought that he was being bullied by the other kids. If I know about it I might not have told him such a lie." I feel a bit guilty especially when I know that he was being bullied by other kids.

"Umm, I don't know how should I react to what you just said. But isn't that kid is older than you? Why do you call him 'kid'? Young Miss, you should show respect to your elder." Sister Ancelina point out the rudeness that I did.

I understand about what she is talking about but I couldn't help because I'm an adult inside. I think that I will never be able to call those kids as elder brothers or sisters. It was similar to the defence mechanism to protect my mental health.

"Then do you think that I should always respect the adults that always bullied me? How about the Viscount and Viscountess who were happy when they know that I was suffering?" I decided to argue about it as I always believed that being old didn't mean that someone will become wiser.

It was something that never change. Even in my previous life, some people are acting arrogant as they were older than others but they keep doing some stupid things that will make the people who saw it lose their respect for the elders.

"T-That..." Sister Ancelina was unable to say anything back.

"I know that you said that because you care about me. But I also want to say that I will only respect the people that I think that he or she should be respected. I won't look down on another person because they were not as smart as me or weaker than me. That is also the reason that I always respect you and Brother Winslow." Looking at her speechless expression, I decided to explain my reasoning.

I understand what she is trying to tell me. But I just can't accept it as it was. It might be caused by my past life memory or it was because of my own beliefs. It might also be caused by what happened in my previous life.

There are a few times that I met with some people who fit the description of 'the older you get, the more unwise you become.'. It was because they become more childish or it would be described as becoming an egotistical child that will use their age as a shield. And the worse thing is how they always comparing to the condition in the past with the condition in the present.

I say it because I don't hope that something happened in my previous life to be repeated. I don't want to see my important people become crazy or die. My friend became depressed and often tried to kill himself because the elders in his family always did whatever they want while suppressing my friend by demanding the respect that my friend should give to the elders.

Thinking about that horrible past was the reason why I feel a bit agitated and it must be the main reason for me to say something like that to Sister Ancelina. I feel sorry and a bit guilty for speaking in that manner to her. Will she hate me?

As I try to peek at her expression,

"Ufufufu, I never expect that our little Young Miss is really speaking like an adult. Is this because you are not a human but a fairy?" Sister Ancelina surprisingly continued to tease me.

I have forgotten about how easy-going and positive she was.

"Haa..." I could only sigh at her reaction.

But I think that I might feel relive that she was acting like her usual self.

'!!! Eh?! Did I just act like a child? Did I get angry because she teases me?'

This surprised me. I never thought that I will spontaneously act like this.

Ba bump.

My heart suddenly beat so fast. I feel that I have changed a lot from before. Or could it be that the fate from the original game plot started to take control of me?

I'm worried about the future. What should I do if I couldn't get away from this place?

It makes me feel sad.

"Yo...Young...Young Miss, are you angry? Why do you suddenly stop thinking like that? I'm not Mr Winslow, so I won't understand if you u don't tell me." Sister Ancelina said with a worried expression.

"Huh?! No, nothing. I just thinking about something. Oh right, why do you come to this place? You must be currently busy because of the guest, right?" I hide the story about my future because I still doubt that I will be able to tell it and change the topic.

I have been thinking that something might happen if I told other people about the game plot. Like something dangerous will befall me. And what can I do if I can't change my fate? It will make them worried about me.

"Oh my goodness! I forget about your lunch. Oh no, Mr Winslow will definitely be angry with me. Young Miss, please don't tell him that I forgot about it because I hear something interesting." Sister Ancelina begs me to not tell Brother Winslow about it.

"Hmm, what should I do? You seem to enjoy teasing me before..." I put my hand on my cheek as if I was thinking about it.

"Wahh! I'm sorry, Young Miss. So please don't tell him about it!" Sister Ancelina become panicked.

"Alright, alright, I won't tell him if you also keep it as a secret too," I answered to calm her down.

"Yes! Let's keep it as our secret. Now let's eat the lunch that Mr Winslow had prepared for us." Sister Ancelina quickly change her attitude and started taking out our lunch from the basket.

Both of us enjoy our lunch together and eat quietly.

As we finished our lunch,

"Um, you seem to be alright. Nothing bad happens, right?" Before she left, she timidly said.

"Why do you think so?" I feel strange with her sudden question.

"Both of us are worried that you might get lonely because everyone is busy..." She shyly said.

"Huh!?"

I never thought of the possibility about I might feel lonely in just a few days. But I forget about the fact that I am currently is the three years old Renneshia, not the adult from my past life. Did I really feel lonely? Or did they misunderstand about my expression?

I unconsciously touch my face.

"Why are you touching your face? Did you hurt?" Sister Ancelina asked with a worried face.

"No, it's nothing. I just want to make sure that I didn't make an expression that makes you worried. Huh?! Why do you look at me like that?"

For some strange reason when Sister Ancelina heard my explanation, her face become strange as if she want to hide something or hold herself from laughing.

"Pfff, i-it's nothing... Pfff, I-I just remembered about what happened before. Goodbye, Young Miss, see you later."

It was really suspicious as she said it while moving away from my room before she quickly leave. Is there something on my face? In the end, I decided to wipe my face.

I decided to continue my writing about everything that I could remember about my past life. If something happened in the future, and I forget about my past life, these notes might be able to help me (Renneshia).

I never thought that I will be able to peacefully spend my time writing about my past life knowledge. As I continue with my writing, I could feel more relaxed than before. As expected that writing really was the best way to avoid us from overthinking. I also need to do some exercise to lessen my anxiety and worry. After all, moving our bodies is the best option for stress relievers.

'Right, it must be because of the accumulated of the stress from the unreasonable treatment that I get in this hell-like place.'

I continue with my writing but something happened.