Chapter 44

I return to my room after I use the laboratory after making my alchemy teacher swear (brainwash) to hide everything that I will do from today onwards.

I was also able to get more information about the evil spirits and undead creatures after asking politely (interrogating) my (crazy) alchemy teacher (that have some crazy fantasy about me).

He told me that some evil being in this world able to use a mental type of attack and control the living being body. The most common mental type of attack that they are able to use is charm magic and mind control. That's why my (crazy) alchemy teacher keep thinking that I was currently controlling everyone in this mansion.

But who cares about what he is thinking about! As long as he did not do anything to prevent my plan. At least I could finally able to made it.

'Huhuhu, finally I could make some of this thing.'

In my hand, there was a bottle of simple shampoo. Although I am still young, but there is not wrong to start my beauty care. Beauty is the best weapon to help me to survive in this world. No, beauty is always helpful in any world. No one hates a beautiful person.

But with some disguise, I might be able to become an ice prince-like character when I cross-dress as a man if I need to hide my identity later. Still, I never thought that I have an expressionless face.

If he did not tell me about it, I might still think that I have an easy-to-read expression. How much I have been thinking about how to hide expressions from most people in this hell-like place? If only I could know about it earlier.

Maybe it was because of how hard Renneshia had to endure their unreasonable treatments. If I remembered correctly, a lot of stress might make a person's muscles become stiff as if it was frozen. Is this the reason why Renneshia in the game has such an expression?

Then I should have quickly run away from this place with my mother. Maybe I will be able to have a normal expression when I leave this stressful place.

But before I do that, I need to make some complaints to both of them for not telling me about my expression. How much stress did I get because I worried that someone will know that I'm lying?

When I reached my room, I saw both of them in front of my room. I will tell them what I am thinking right now.

"Both of you, let's talk about something in my room." I said with a smile.

"Y-Yo-Young Miss did something happened in your class? Today is the class of that crazy stalker, he didn't do anything to you, right?" Sister Ancelina worriedly said.

"Is there something wrong?" Brother Winslow frown as he looking at my face.

"Just get in first because this is a secret. So we need to quickly go to the room." I rushed both of them.

Of course, both of them are looking at me strangely. But both of them still enter to my room.

"So, how long have both of you wanted to hide about the fact that I have an expressionless face?" I ask both of them with a smile.

Brother Winslow wryly smiles at me without saying anything.

"Huh?! How do you know about it? Did someone dare to tell you about it? Who else could realize that you have an expressionless face except us." Sister Ancelina said with a surprised face.

"If he did not tell me about it, I will still be worried about my expression in front of them." I told them with a low tone.

"We did not want to hide it from you but both of us don't know how to tell you about it." Brother Winslow awkwardly said.

'From his expression, he didn't seem to be lying. Wait, then why...?'

"Then why both of you seem to be able to know what I'm thinking about? Didn't both of you say that I'm expressionless?" I realized something strange from their words.

"Ah! About that...actually, I was only able to realize it only after I looked at your face carefully. It's more correct if you said that you have an almost expressionless face. We can still see different expression from the change on your eyes and the tip of lips. Of course I need to carefully look at the change." Brother Winslow tells me awkwardly as he scratches his head.

"I'm not as good as Mr. Winslow but after he told me about it I started able to saw the difference in your expression. And...we didn't mean to hide it from you but every time you worried about your expression, you looks like a child around your age... I'm sorry Young Miss, we did not mean to hide it." Sister Ancelina said and now her head.

"I never thought that it will cause you to overthinking about it. I also don't want to make you worried. I am sorry to hide it from you. Both of us has discussed about it before and tried to find a perfect time to say it...But in the end, we never found a good time for telling you about it and the more we delay in telling you about this, it becomes harder to tell you about it." Brother Winslow explained it with a guilty face.

"Haaa, it's alright. I just feel a bit angry because the person who told me was my alchemy teacher. I might be feeling a bit disappointed because both of you never told me about it." I sighed and told both of them about what I am thinking about.

"Eh!!! That crazy stalker also knows about it?!" Sister Ancelina was surprised to hear it.

"Is it alright for him to know about it?" Brother Winslow asked with worried face.

"Don't worry about it. I have solved it. So he won't tell anyone else about it." I proudly said.

"Hmm?! How do you do it?" Brother Winslow asked with a suspicious gaze.

"Hahaha..., actually, it was because he mistakenly thinks that I was an evil being or an undead that using some mind control skills to control everyone in this mansion. I made him promise to not tell anyone and lie that I will curse him if he break our promise..." I awkwardly said and explain about what happened earlier.

"Pfff, Ahahahaha...how could he have such wild imagination!?" Brother Winslow seems to be unable to hold his laughter and loudly laughs at my explanation.

"Hehehe, I never thought that teacher will mistakenly identify you as an undead. He seems to be able to write a good story." Sister Ancelina also laughed at my explanation.

We laughed together as we talked about the alchemy teacher and have our lunch together.

***

My life got better after my fifth birthday. Only Brother Winslow and Sister Ancelina are able to celebrate it with me. I want to meet with my mother but The Viscount is adding the time for my class and I get busier.

Every morning I need to attend classes like politics, economics, etiquette, arts, embroidery, battle tactic and alchemy. From the afternoon till evening, I need to train my magic and martial arts. I don't have any rest from this schedule.

Nothing special happens and my life continues with an almost similar schedule every day.

I keep gathering information, power and other things for my plan. I still get an unreasonable treatment from them and there are a few times that I got hurt because of them.

They bought me to fight a monster after I am strong enough to hold a sword. It was so scary and I need to act like I can't do anything and only run away from it. But I really feel nauseous when they kill it and I saw the blood splash on my body. I vomit because it was the first time I saw such bloody scene actually happen in front of me.

They keep forcing me to kill and only stop after I accidentally kill a monster. It was a really horrible experience for me. I never kill anything even in my previous life. So this is my first time ever to kill something, even if it was a monster. Still, I need a few days to be able to get myself return to my usual self.

I keep telling myself that I need to do it because it will kill me if I didn't kill it. After thinking about it, I feel stressed because I think about the possibility of the assassins that the Viscount might send to kill us when we run away from this place.

'This time I only kill a monster but next time I might have to kill a human.'

I feel scared and guilty but I keep reminding myself to accept the fact that it was the rule in this world like my teacher said. When I kill the monster, he told me that only the strong will be able to survive.

'I want to survive in this crazy world so I need to prepare my heart and hardened my will so I won't do anything that might dangers me and my mother when I ran away from this hell-like place. And I need to protect my mother.'

As I repeatedly remind myself, I started to get used to killing the monsters. But I will still vomit after I arrived at the safe place. It's getting better as the time passed but only the guilty feeling remain in my mind.

Then another few years passed.