3. Awake and Confused

“I see the beat….” spoke someone from a great distance; it was more like an echo.

“She is back, well done everyone!” I tried opening my eyes, but even the slightest movement was hurting me; everything was blurry, and everyone was in scrubs. A man stood in the far corner, and I felt a tingle of recognition, but my lids…were…so…heavy.

*

I woke up again fresh and relaxed. It was bright outside, and the two most beautiful women of my life were sitting around me, my mom and Priya.

“Hey, you are finally awake. How do you feel, sweetie?” my mother murmured, gently stroking my cheeks.

“Weird, but more or less fine, mom. What happened?” I asked in a whisper. My upper lip felt tied up, I tried touching it, but Priya held my hand, “You have a lot of tubes stuck to this arm babe, use your left hand.”

“It feels weird.”

“Oh there, you had oxygen tube tucked there for two days, they removed it only this morning.” I could see pain in her eyes, but I could also see the happiness in them.

“Oh, you are back, I will go and call the doctor now,” my mother said, tears still leaking from her eyes. I knew she wanted a good cry away from me. As she left, my eyes fell on the most gorgeous man standing by the door. He looked really happy and relieved, but the moment my eyes fell on him, he stiffened as if I had caught him doing something awful.

I was about to ask who he was, but Priya spoke first, “So how are you really feeling?”

“I feel tired and a little weird. But apart from that, I feel fine,” I replied sincerely and looked again in his direction. He was gone now. Did he leave the room? But when?

“Are you sure?” Priya asked again.

“Yes, yes, but first tell me about the hottie by the door?” My words took her by surprise. She looked around and, of course, now there was no one.

“Who?” she asked

“The one who was standing right there 5 minutes back,” I gently pointed to the place he was standing.

“What? The only man in this room had been a ward boy, who by the way, was no hottie,” she replied, surprising me now.

“What are you talking about? He was here just now, he was wearing a white T-shirt and denim jeans, and God, he had the looks I can definitely not make up on my own. And if I even remember clearly, he was there when I woke up last time as well, although I think it was in a different room.”

“You are right about the room – you were in I.C.U before, and they shifted you here once you came out of the coma…”

“Wait, what? Coma?” I asked, shocked.

“Err, yes sweetie; you were in a coma for more than a day. We almost lost you there but by some miracle, you came back to us. I really think you have some guarding angel.”

Angel-schmangel, if I had some angel guarding me, I would not have fallen in a coma in the first place.

“What happened?” I asked, trying to contain my shock.

“Well, you banged into a speeding car while crossing the road,” she waited for the description to sink in. I could see she had a lot of scolding planned, so I completed it for her, “Oh dear God! This road thing is going to kill me someday.” I closed my eyes in exasperation. “I don’t remember the accident at all, although I vaguely remember a dream…” I spoke tentatively.

“What dream? Is it about that hottie?” she spoke gingerly. “What did you guys do in your dream?” she teased and winked at me. This was so ‘her’, I never entertained her trash talks, but they felt very comforting and real now.

“I don’t remember exactly, it’s very vague,” I replied smiling, and I realized someone was standing by the door again. The door was adjacent to me and directly in front of Priya; how could she have not seen him?

“Hey, go and check on mom, where is she?” I asked, testing her in case she was playing a prank on me. But she left the room and by her expressions, it felt like no one was there. I was about to ask him who he was but a couple of things happened together – he started to move forward, mom and Priya entered the room along with the doctor, and my mom ‘literally’ passed through him as if he was not standing there.

If the accident didn’t kill me, this would…

Out of breath, I tried to gasp words, but when I started to get up, everyone forced me back.

“Darling, what happened?” my mother panicked, and the doctor immediately checked reading of the machines attached to me.

“Relax. Try to relax. What happened? How are you feeling?” he asked, pinning me on the bed.

“Gh….” was all I could speak.

“Your pulse and blood pressure are very high, but it shot up just now. What happened?” he asked, surprised.

I could hardly think or breathe… There was a ghost in my room. Oh my God! There was a GHOST in my room!

A GHOST IN MY ROOM!!!

Everything blurred, eventually turning black. It felt like my mind had shut-down itself out of fear.

“What happened to her, doctor?” I heard my mom in the background; she was extremely worried.

“I am not sure. She seemed fine right before we entered the room. What were you guys talking about?” the doctor asked.

“I told her about the accident, but she took it fairly well. We were laughing and talking about… well useless topics…” Priya sounded guilty, oh, should I tell her what was happening.

“Her reports say she got a panic attack just now. We may need to change her medicines and keep her under observation again for the next twenty-four hours. Now please leave so that she can sleep,” the doctor added, and they all left.

Oh my God, they all have left me all alone with a ghost. What should I do? What should I do…? I thought, clutching the sheets under the cover. I heard him walking. Oh, please let him be going. Please… but his footsteps were getting closer. He is coming closer, but why is he coming closer? He will kill me now. If you had to kill me then why bring me back, God? I cursed and finally passed out.

*

I woke up in the same room, but no one was around me. Did I really see what I think I saw? I wondered, and before I could decipher, the answer was clear; someone was standing by the foot of my bed.

Oh my God, Ghost! I didn’t imagine him... How do I tell everyone what was happening when he was listening so intently?

I desperately avoided eye contact with him, and thankfully my mom came in.

“Baby, you are awake, what happened to you? Are you fine?” she was worried.

“Yes mom, I am just fine. I think I need to rest,” I spoke with great efforts. Everything in sight was twisting and turning now.

“Yes, you should,” she caressed my hair as I closed my eyes again. I heard her leave.

“You have no idea how glad I am that you are alive!” I heard a terrified yet charming and relieved voice. Was the ghost talking to me?

“Hey, what would I give to talk to you again?”

Again?

“Jia, do you remember me at all?” He knows my name? Oh, maybe he overheard mom or Priya using it. But why would I remember him?

“If I had not known better, I swear I could feel you can hear me, and for a second, I felt you saw me before.” Oh God! Why was this happening to me? I was still cursing when out of nowhere I felt a warm touch brush up my face, scaring me shitless. But he was the one who screamed, “Oh crap! I can touch you!” All the machines attached to me sang in a loud voice together, scaring me further.

“What happened!?” Everybody rushed in.

I pretended as if I had woken up just now, although I was pretty sure my face spoke something else, “What happened? Why you guys are screaming?” I could see one of the hospital staff partially standing in the ghost. It seemed he had two faces. It gave me shivers.

“Looks like she is going into another panic attack or is having some sort of fits,” spoke the man with two faces. The doctor immediately went into his pockets and took out an injection, “I was scared we would have to use it,” and quickly injected it in one of the tubes attached to me, and I gladly drifted into ghost-less sleep.

*

As I regained consciousness, I looked around. I was in the same hospital room. The night had fallen, and Mom was asleep on a bed beside me. ‘Why am I not dead? What does this ghost want?’ I wondered. It was too dark in the room, and I couldn’t see much. But I definitely felt his presence.

Out of nowhere he spoke, “If I can touch you, then you can feel me too.” I closed my eyes again and pretended not to listen. “And now I pretty sure you can hear and see me too.” Oh, what should I do, what should I do? Maybe if I wake mom up, he will go and not kill me, but what if he gets pissed and kills her too? Oh God!

“Please Jia... please tell me that you can hear me too. And why are you scared of me; you know I won’t hurt you?” How on Earth could have I known what he would do to me? I kept on pretending that I couldn’t hear him, and he was quiet. After a very long time, which at least felt that way to me, I opened a tiny slit of my eyes to see if he was there, and yes, he was there, so I shut them off again. “Ok, I understand you want me gone. I would not bother you anymore. I would let you heal in peace.” He sounded hurt. He placed his hand gently on my cheek; he was so warm. How could a ghost be so warm? Aren’t ghosts cold, just like they show in paranormal shows?

“Please take care and get well soon.” He gently pressed his lips on my forehead and was gone.

Was he really gone? I opened up my eyes to confirm, and he was not there. “Wow! He is gone,” I screamed in joy, and my mom stirred. I shushed and relaxed. Although he was a ghost, his touch didn’t feel scary. And why did he wish me a get well soon? Why would the ghost of an unknown man kiss me on my forehead? It was weird, but I was glad he was gone now. Or was I? Why did I feel hollow? Why did I feel I knew him, like deep down there was some attachment or connection? Am I turning crazy? What is the matter with me? Why am I feeling bad for a ghost? I am actually missing him. What is wrong with me…? Maybe I should sleep. Yes. I should and forget him. He is gone for good. Yes, it was for the best, and eventually, I did fall asleep again.

*

Next morning when I woke up, I realised that the ghost did keep his word and had gone away. It was kind of a relief not seeing anything supernatural happening around me.

As he didn’t show up, nothing scared me, jumping my heart or blood pressure up or down, and the entire day passed without any accident. The doctor presumed it was the effect of the new drug he gave me, he was wrong, but it didn’t matter to me, his words were a great comfort to my loved ones.

Next day he didn’t show up again. Honestly, I was kind of missing him, but I had just come out of a coma, weird things could have happened to my brain, right? I ignored him completely and focused on recovering. The hospital was making me really edgy now. I wanted to leave but the doctors insisted to keep me under observation for few more days. Mom and Priya couldn’t agree less.

*

We all left the hospital together after a week and I was finally feeling alive. Mom dropped me to my apartment and left for her place, which was on the other side of Mumbai.

“Priya you can go back to your apartment now, you need some rest plus you have a family too,” I commented as she followed me into my apartment.

“Hey, I am not leaving your side,” she replied stubbornly.

“I am fine, babe. You take some rest. Plus, I am going for a long, long bath. I haven’t had a proper shower since forever,” I replied animatedly as a joke, but I did mean the shower thing.

“Yeah right but don’t lock your bedroom door or bathroom,” her words made my jaw-drop, but before I could speak, she explained. “It’s not that I will sneak-in on you while you are bathing, honey I love you, but my love has some limits,” she winked. “It’s just a precautionary measure.”

“Yeah. Fine.” I gave in as I knew there was no arguing with that, and there was no point in explaining why I was having those panic attacks; the ghost was gone now.

After reiterating multiple times that I was fine, she left. I lived in a small studio apartment which had one bedroom-cum-kitchen and a bathroom. It was small but it was just fine for me. Priya’s place was way bigger. The layout of the building was weird - on one side there were two big three-bedroom apartments which were lavish and spacious, and on the other side, there were multiple studio apartments.

Once she was gone, I went to my bedroom window and stood there. Oh! I missed my home so much. Living on 15th floor had many benefits; the view of beautiful Mumbai was just so serene and peaceful; it was also private – it would be very hard for someone to sneak up here. After soaking in the beauty of this mesmerising city for a long while, I decided to take a bath.

No matter the season, a hot water bath has its own charm. I sat in my bathtub quietly with closed eyes; it felt so relaxing. While I rested calmly, I heard someone move. Was it in my bedroom? It felt like someone was in the bathroom. Maybe it was Priya checking in on me…

“Hey Priya I am fine, you don’t need to be bothered for me. Please let me relax.” I shouted from the bathroom with my eyes still closed. Weirdly, she didn’t reply. She can be very spooky sometimes, and I won’t be surprised if she was sitting in my bedroom waiting for me to come out so she could scare me.

Once the water was almost cold, and I started to sneeze, I decided to step out. Wrapping myself comfortably in my towel, I stepped out and laughed, “You can’t scare me this time!”

But I was wrong. So wrong! It was not Priya but the ghost who replied. “I don’t want to scare you.”

“Gh….”

“Hey Jia, hey! Hey, hey, it’s fine, it’s just me. You know you don’t have to be scared of me,” he tried to step closer, but I was still reeling.

“Who. What. You. Oh. God. Gh….” I didn’t even know what to say. I was so scared of him that I was not even able to finish the word ‘ghost’.

“Please, don’t you remember me? I am Jai. You’d joked about it – Jia, Jai, and our jumbled-up names.” What the hell was he talking about? He wasn’t just a ghost – he was an insane ghost. Maybe he was drunk. Shut up, Jia!

My fear must have been evident because he started explaining. “Please, please Jia, don’t you remember me at all?” The pain in his eyes was a tangible force, which combined with his attractiveness was swaying me, despite my best efforts.

“Look, if I wanted to harm you, don’t you think I have had plenty of opportunities to do so by now?” The crazy drunken ghost had a point. Maybe he was not here to harm me, then why was he haunting me?

“Can you please sit comfortably first? Or even probably get dressed first?” At this, he looked very slyly at me from top to bottom, and I suddenly became very much aware of my nakedness. I hugged myself tightly, securing the towel. I shouldn’t have any rape-threat from a ghost, I hoped!

“I will go out, and you can get dressed. I will be back in 5 minutes; would that be fine?” I dumbly nodded, and he smiled and went out through the closed the door.

Oh God, he just passed through a door, I had a ghost in my apartment, OH MY GOD!

I was standing in the same place when he came back. “What are you doing – why are you not dressed yet? You’ll catch a cold! Go and get dressed.”

What was happening – was I being scolded by a ghost?

“Look Jia, I have recently found out that I can actually touch you, so unless you want me to dress you up, go and get dressed.” His I-mean-business tone jolted me back to reality.

“Do you want me to…?” and he started towards me, but I screamed, “No! No, don’t come near me. I will get dressed – please, another ten minutes.” There. I had done it. I had started talking to a ghost.

“Fine, I will be back. You better be fully dressed and under sheets before I am back.”

Miffed at his domineering tone, I got dressed. My favourites jammies and shirt brought some comfort, and I pretended to sleep under the covers. Until I felt someone caressing my hair.

“You can’t do that!” I leapt up, screaming almost in tears.

How could he touch me if he couldn’t feel anything else? “I can’t believe it either, but apparently, I can,” he replied joyfully.

“Please get out of my bed. I am not comfortable having men – uhm, ghosts – in here with me.”

Reluctantly he got out, and I tried not to admire his gracefulness. He finally began talking in a hurt tone. “So, you don’t remember me at all?”

“No, I don’t remember you, and why would I?” I replied sarcastically, ignoring the little protest in my heart. I felt like I’d seen him somewhere, in some long-forgotten dream.

“Not even from a long-forgotten dream?” He asked, reading my mind.

“Can ghosts read minds?” I couldn’t help accusing. And I couldn’t believe I was having a conversation with a ghost!

“What? No, but I really wish I could since you are hardly speaking.” Well, the ghost had a point. But was it true, did I meet him in a dream? Even the sound of it was so crazy that it made me laugh.

“Why are you laughing? I am serious. Do you remember me from some dream? If not me then someone like me whom you met in a hospital?” he asked hopefully, and it gave me chills.

So, it’s true, I did see him in my dreams. This could only have just one conclusion, “You are haunting my dreams?” I asked awestruck, and he slapped his forehead.

“You know, you are dumber than your soul,” he replied, sitting causally on my bed.

“You are after my soul?” my jaw hung open to the widest range. I hugged myself tightly hoping it would protect my soul.

“What? Are you crazy? I am not after your soul or your dreams. You are my friend, and I am here to be with you,” he replied simply but in an irritated tone.

“I didn’t ask you to be here and when did we become friends?” I screamed in an accusing tone. Was he trying to drive me crazy?

“I know you never asked me to be here, but you are the reason why I am here. And also, you are the only one who can see me, so I figured maybe I would stay with you for a while.”

He is planning to stay, so maybe he doesn’t plan to kill me so soon.

“You know, when you make such expressions, I think you are either plotting something very evil or thinking something utterly stupid, which one will it be?” he asked very carefully. I knew he was not joking.

“Err, I was thinking, but I don’t know if it was stupid.”

“Hmm… so…” but Priya’s entrance interrupted him. She came straight through him and jumped into the bed beside me.

“You look like you have seen a ghost, Jia. Are you okay?”

I couldn’t suppress a snort of laughter. “Uh, just a little surprised, nothing. You didn’t knock…”

Priya gave me a closer look. “What? When did I ever knock your door? And hello, we have grown up together, and I helped you shower many times in the hospital, there is nothing new for me to see,” she mocked, and he snickered. Damn it! So much for privacy.

“Yeah, I guess I am just a little tired, sorry.”

“No problem, babe. How are you feeling now?” Priya asked as she slipped inside the sheets with me.

“Much better. The bath gave me a lot of relief, I must say.” And a ghost took it all away.

“Great. Oh and, were you talking to yourself before I came in? I heard voices?”

“Voices?” I asked, surprised. Did she hear him? By the look on his face, he was surprised too.

“I mean just your voice, were you talking to someone?” Damn it! Every time, if ever, I talk to him, people will think of me as crazy.

I was just thinking of a good excuse when he spoke, “Phone?”

Wow, he was not just a crazy drunken ghost, he was an intelligent one at that. “I just hung up the phone.”

“Oh, it’s fine then, I was worried maybe the accident messed up your head. Sorry!” Her words made me realize an important point. What if he wasn’t real but just an illusion of my mind? Of course, the ghosts don’t exist; what if there was something wrong with my head, and I was just imagining him?

My thoughts must have etched a grave worrisome look on my face as both of them spoke together, “What happened?” It was so weird…

“Err… nothing,” I replied to him… “Nothing,” and I replied to Priya.

“With whom are you talking there?” she asked suspiciously looking at the exact spot he was standing.

“No one, I was just thinking something, that’s all… I need to sleep I think, shall we?”

“Sure. I am way too tired now… good night babe…”

“Good night…” I replied to her, and he replied, “Good night…!” and everything went quiet.